Pieces
by Leah Conner
Summary: Zack Fair faced an entire army and fought to the death to save his best friend. But what if instead, he survived? Cloti & Zerith Significant angst.
1. Chapter 1

This part was hard to write this because it was such an EPIC Final Fantasy moment. I did my best to make it epic, without sounding melodramatic.

After several battles with computer malfunction and technical difficulties, this story will hopefully be up for good this time.

Disclaimer: I don't own FF7, or it character, or any Chocobos that may appear, and so on and so forth. You know the drill.

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><p>He couldn't out run them, and there was no where to hide. The Turks had offered to spare his life in exchange for his coming quietly, but the lab was a fate worse than death. If he surrendered, Cloud would be taken back to Hojo, and he would rather die than let that happen. It was one of the few decisions he had made in the last few years that he had no doubts about. The limp helplessness his semiconscious comrade displayed as Zack lowered him to rest against the rocky cliff side only farther confirmed his confidence that he had made the right choice.<p>

Zack wished he could talk to him one last time. Just once before the end would be enough, but by the looks of it, he wouldn't even get to say goodbye. If fate had denied him that as well, so be it. As long as Cloud survived, it wouldn't really be the end. He smiled and ruffled his best friend's messy blonde hair. It was alright; Cloud would live on for both of them. He walked forward, strong and determined. He knew he couldn't win against an entire army, but he wasn't going down without a fight and a chance for Cloud to survive.

"Freedom sure is expensive," he said shaking his head.

The price was worth it. Even if he was going to die, at least he still had something worth dying for. Cloud was the best friend he ever could have asked for. Shy though he was, he was brave, and a loyal friend. All the time he had spent with Aerith at the church made his life worth living by itself. When he had reached his breaking point, Aerith was always there to hold him together. Angeal was a bittersweet memory. There was no worse way fate could have taken his mentor, but he was grateful for the friendship and guidance Angeal had given him before he lost himself. Zack touched his forehead to the flat side of the blade Angeal had passed onto him.

"Embrace your dreams," he repeated the words that had sounded so cliche back when he first heard them. They had very different meaning now, after he had lost so many friends and was now facing his own end, than they did when he was a carefree 16-year-old, "And whatever happens, protect your honor" he slowly lowered the sword.

"As SOLDIER!" Zack shouted, then charged, "COME AND GET IT!"

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><p>Blood coated the ground. Some his, some the enemy's, but it all looked the same. It painted the ground red and stained his hands, no matter who it came from. He almost hesitated in finishing an infantrymen, remembering they had once been on the same side. Almost. How many had he killed? He had lost count at 60.<p>

He swung back, taking down a troop as yet another bullet struck him. He wasn't sure how sever or how numerous his injuries were, nor did he care. All he knew was he could hardly move; the end was near. His shaking legs could hardly support his weight, much less propel him forward and the edge of the heavy sword rested limply on the ground. The hazy image of four more men walking toward him, guns raised, reached his consciousness as though from a dream. It was over. He closed his eyes as gun fire rang out over the cliff.

But he felt nothing. Had he died already? He opened his eyes to see two of the infantrymen on the ground. Behind them, leaning against the rocks in order to stand, was Cloud, holding the gun of one of the many fallen soldiers. It was two against two now; there was hope. That one bit of hope was what forced Zack forward. A bullet grazed his shoulder, but it wasn't near enough to stop him. One swing ended his last target, and he quickly spun around to locate the second. Considering Cloud's impaired condition, he was a surprisingly good shot, for the infantryman was already dead. His eyes met those of his beaten and poisoned friend for one brief moment before Cloud collapsed. Zack stumbled forward toward his companion, but only made it a few steps before falling as well. The last of his strength was spent stretching one hand toward Cloud as the world faded to black.

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><p>Zack awoke, disoriented at first, but then the memory of his near death returned in full, vivid detail. Somehow, soaked and blood splattered though he was, he was alive. He forced himself onto his hands and knees, blocking out the sharp pain it brought. He needed to find Cloud, then get to Midgar as soon as possible. Although blonde laid only a few feet away, crawling to reach him still took tremendous effort.<p>

"Cloud," it didn't sound like his voice. Even after long days of training or missions, he had never sounded that drained, that weak. Zack shifted into a sitting position and turned his fellow soldier onto his back to find that Cloud was still out cold. Zack wasn't sure he could even hold up his own weight; there was no way he could carry Cloud as well.

"Cloud," he said again, a little louder this time and Cloud's eyelids fluttered open.

"Zack," Cloud sounded even worse than he did.

"It's okay, buddy," Zack said. A faint smile spread across his face as he realized this was the first time he had heard Cloud speak in years. Unfortunately, he didn't have time to be sentimental. The urgency to reach Midgar hieghtened when he noticed Cloud was bleeding as well, from a bullet wound in his right shoulder and another in his side. Cloud couldn't afford to lose much blood, considering he was already in bad shape.

"We'll be alright. I just need you to try to stand up, okay?" Zack used the rock to balance himself while he pulled Cloud up with him, then put Cloud's right arm around his neck and staggered forward. They had made it to the road when, for the first time on this hellish journey, they got lucky. A truck stopped for them.

"Jeez, what happened to you two?" the driver asked.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," Zack answered wearily, "Are you going to Midgar?"

"Sure am," the man said, as though not noticing the hitch-hikers he was picking up were half dead. How much had the world changed if finding people bleeding on the side of the road was a normal thing? "Climb on the back."

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><p>Like it? Hate it? Keep reading? I hope so. Reviews are greatly loved!<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

"I'm just kidding," Zack said, leaning back against the edge of the truck bed. "I wouldn't do that to you" He turned his head to face his semiconscious companion, "We're friends, right?"

He felt better after having fallen asleep in the back of the truck for a while. He put one arm over the roof of the cab and closed his eyes, letting the wind rush past him and opened his eyes to see an infinite, clear blue sky, more beautiful than he remembered. Then again, the simplest things seemed breathtaking after four years of imprisonment. Just then, gunfire split the air.

"Get down!" Zack shouted. He pulled Cloud to the floor of the truck, desperately hoping the shot had missed. Another shot rang out, but this time it went to the cab and the driver fell limp at the wheel making it clear to Zack that his only choice was to jump.

He pulled Cloud's arm around his shoulder and tumbled over the side of the truck, narrowly avoiding being crushed by the rampant vehicle. They rolled to a stop as the truck veered off the road. The firing continued, but it wasn't only bullets anymore, but shells as well. One set off a small explosion on the left side of the truck, while the next hit it's target, annihilating the vehicle. Zack threw his arms protectively over his head as he was sprayed with shrapnel.

When he opened his eyes, he could see the remains of the truck in flames. His arms were covered in minor burns, but nothing too sever. He gazed through blinding sunlight to see the helicopter returning to make sure they were dead.

"Looks like our break is over, Spiky," he said as he lifted Cloud's good arm over his shoulders and began the long trek to Midgar.

When they finally reached the edge of the city, he wanted nothing more that to drop to his knees and sleep for hours, but they had to keep moving until they found a good place to hide. If he was lucky, whoever was in the helicopter hadn't seen him jump and would assume they were dead.

"But how often are we lucky?" he muttered. He knew it wasn't the best mindset, but when he was this fatigued, it was hard to keep cynicism at bay.

"Just keep moving" he told himself firmly. "You have to. Not for you, for Cloud." Even after Shinra crushed everything he'd believed in, he still had a purpose. Plus, he had promised Aerith all those years ago that he would come back. Keeping his word was something he had always made a priority and he wasn't about to stop now.

He was a little late, but he was pretty sure she would understand.

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><p>Aerith stared miserably at the papers that had just tumbled out of her arms and were now scattered across the floor. After spending the entirety of the day going through files and field reports and therefor coming to the conclusion that there was nothing she hated more than paperwork, she felt nothing but disdain for the maniacal little wood pulp pressings.<p>

Although normally an optimist, the fact that she didn't want to be here at all put her mood down significantly. The only reason she was here was to look for Zack. She placed the few sheets she'd managed to hold onto on a nearby desk and knelt down to begin the painstaking work of re-stacking and reorganizing the cluttered mess she had just created.

It had been two years after Zack's disappearance that she finally decided to take Tseng up on his long standing job offer, although she never told him the reason why.

"Science Department... Turks... Main Office," she placed each sheet onto the correct pile until one paper in particular caught her eye. She carefully slid the sheet out from under the mass of documents to reveal a picture of a smiling, dark haired man on it. Her eyes widened in horror as she read the short description underneath the picture.

Age: 23

Rank: SOLDIER First Class

Height: 6'

Hair color: Black

Eye color: Blue

Blood type: O

Stamped across the page was the word "Terminated"

Aerith stared in disbelief.

"Terminated" she whispered.

"Aerith, guess what?"

Aerith jumped. She looked up from the page to see Elena standing in the doorway, smiling rather uncharacteristically.

"Tseng said he's trying to convince the President to let him move you up to Turk," Elena's smile faded, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Aerith said, folding up the paper and quickly tucking it in her pocket. Although she kept her voice even, her hands were shaking uncontrollably, "Everything's fine"

"You're not a very good lair," Elena watched her with intense brown eyes that seemed to see right through her, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she replied instantly, "I'm fine"

On 'fine' her voice broke. She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes.

"Aerith?"

Aerith grabbed the edge of the desk for support, but soon slid to the floor anyway. All those years she kept telling herself, "If he's alive, if there is any chance that he could still be alive, I'll keep looking. No matter where he is or how long I have to search, I will find him."

She had never allowed herself to think about what she would do if she discovered the worst. Elena knelt down beside her.

"What happened?" worry spread across the blonde's usually stoic face. Aerith lifted her head from her knees.

"He's dead," she was still trembling.

"Who?" Elena leaned in closer, "Who's dead? Is it..." Her voice trailed off. She didn't need to finish the question; Aerith's tears were answer enough.

"How?" Elena asked in disbelief.

"They killed him," she whispered, "Shinra killed him."

Elena froze, "That can't... They.. But he's one of ours," she stuttered.

"Not anymore," Aerith pulled the paper out of the pocket of her dark blue blazer then carefully unfolded it, gazing into the bright blue eyes she had for so long hoped she would one day see again. Now she was left with only a picture. As if she needed it; she could never forget his face.

"I'm so sorry, Zack"

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><p>Not a lot happened in this chapter, but I promise there will be more action later on.<p>

Okay, quick explanation

I thought it would be more interesting if Aerith went actively looking for Zack instead of just waiting for him.

Elena doesn't know about Zack because in my story she just got back from a mission in Wuti. And no, that's not just to make this scene work, it comes up later.

Please review, positive or negative. Thanks!


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: as we all know, I don't own FF7. If I did, I would make all the fans happy and do a PS3 remake.

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><p>"Just a little farther," Zack muttered, more to himself than to his limp comrade, "If we can make it into the city, they won't be able to find us."<p>

He knew it was a lie, but he needed some form of hope. Midgar had been the goal for so long, he convinced himself it must be the end to the madness Shinra had created. Although they would get many unwanted questions if he was seen bleeding and dragging another wounded man onto a train, particularly when they were both in uniform and had mako eyes that screamed SOLDIER, finding another way into the city would waste valuable time that he didn't have.

"Zack," said a weak voice. Cloud was awake.

"I'm here. Just hang on. I'll find us somewhere to stay," he was exhausted, but he knew Cloud felt worse.

They didn't have the time or energy to look for another way in, so he would have to find a way to slip onto the train. For a second time, luck was on their side. Zack managed to slide into a car with only a few inquisitive stares, completely unnoticed by security. He quickly claimed two seats, which was made much easier when the other passengers caught sight of the huge sword Zack had strapped to his back. Only half awake, Cloud leaned against Zack's shoulder. Zack too took advantage of this rare opportunity to relax, closed his eyes and tried to proses what had happened to them.

How had they even gotten here? He he been betrayed by Sephiroth, then taken prisoner by Hojo and used as a human lab rat. Those years were a blur, but he could still here Cloud's screams ringing in his ears. He hadn't been a "pure sample" like Cloud was. Zack had been subjected to Hojo's cruelty, but the worst of the madness was done to Cloud. He tightened his grip on Cloud's uniform. He would never let Hojo touch him again.

"Turns out death isn't even close to the worst thing that can happen to you, huh Spiky?" He knew Cloud couldn't hear him, but it helped to pretend he could. Talking to Cloud made him feel less alone while he carried the weight of the world.

For months, he had to fight while simultaneously protecting Cloud and in his present condition, he wouldn't be able to do so much longer. He didn't want to get anyone else involved, but it was becoming apparent he would have to in order to survive. The driver of the truck had no idea picking up two battered hitch-hikers would be the death of him. That man's blood was on his hands.

The train slowed to a halt. Although Zack was anxious to get to the city, part of him didn't want the train ride to end. It was the first time in five years he had felt almost safe. Now they were back out in the open where Shinra lurked around every corner. He and Cloud stumbled off the train, ignoring the dozens of pairs of eyes watching them. They had to get out of sight, but even more importantly, he needed to get Cloud help. His injuries weren't life threatening on their own, but the mako poisoning had taken it's toll. In addition to Cloud's medical emergency, Zack could feel himself fading as well. He had somehow managed to avoid damage to any vital organs, but he was loosing blood with every step.

Zack had sworn he would never do this, as he had hoped to avoid endangering anyone else, but they had no where to go. He staggered up to the first building he saw, a bar it looked like. It was now nearly four in the morning and even most of the bars were closed.

It was about a minute after he knocked that a young woman with long brown hair answered. She opened the door only a few inches at first, but when she saw the condition of the two strangers at her door, she gasped and flung it ajar.

"Hi," was all Zack could manage. The woman stood stunned for a moment. Once she had collected her thoughts she stepped aside and motioned for them to come in.

"I'm sorry about this," Zack began as he gently laid Cloud down on the first thing he saw: a wooden table. He tried not to think about how similar the size and shape was to Hojo's surgical table.

"Do you have a first aid kit?" he asked. The woman nodded slightly, her gaze fixed on Cloud. This stranger was letting two fugitives stay in her house, he could at least offer a little explanation. "My friend was shot by Shinra troops. I'm sorry you were mixed up in all of this, but we don't have anywhere else to go."

She nodded again, still not taking her eyes off of Cloud. After a short pause she spoke, "Is he... Cloud Strife?"

Zack turned to her in surprise. She knew Cloud? Suddenly he realized she looked extremely familiar. He searched his memory for an answer and recovered an image of a teenage girl in cowgirl boots. Could it really be..

"Tifa?" another voice broke in. Cloud leaned up off the table slightly. He flinched and his hand shot up to his shoulder, but he pushed himself into a sitting position. Zack put a hand on his good shoulder and slowly lowered him back to the table.

"Relax, Spiky. We haven't been able to stay in one place for more than a few hours in months. Just sleep for a bit, alright?"

"But I heard Tifa," Cloud's voice was barely above a whisper, "Is she here?"

"I'm here," Tifa quickly knelt beside the table, her reddish-brown eyes filled pain. "What.. what happened?"

"Where is the first aid kit?" Zack cut in. He would explain later. Right now, he had other priorities.

"Sorry," Tifa snapped back to the present, "I'll go get it."

She disappeared behind the counter for a moment. When she returned all traces of tears had vanished and had been replaced by a calm face with no expression. Zack wondered how many times he had worn that mask during the last few months. He knew well the thoughts behind it: 'I'll break later. I'll feel later. I need to be strong for just a little longer.'

"Tifa," Zack said, "Could you go get a few towels?"

Zack didn't really need the towels, but he didn't want Tifa there when he took off Cloud's shirt. He didn't have the energy to explain the scars right now and Tifa had been assaulted with enough horror for one day.

Cloud slipped back into unconsciousness while Zack bandaged his wounds. Both bullets had gone straight through, so at least he didn't have to go through the gruesome process of digging into his shoulder and torso to find them. Tifa returned just a Zack finished. Now that the job was done, Tifa's mask began to crack and the worry seeped back into her expression. Her eyes wondered to the blood soaking Zack's shirt.

"You're hurt too"

"I can take care of it," he put on his best brave face, but he couldn't completely hide how much he was dreading trying to remove the bullets from himself. Tifa wordlessly picked up tweezers and a syringe that had a striking resembling to...

"Morphine?" Zack asked, "Is that a standard part of a medical kit now?"

"With Shinra around, yes," she quickly administered the morphine, having obviously done this before, "This is still going to hurt a bit"

"I'm pretty sure I can handle it," Zack looked away as she began to pull out the first bullet.

"What happened to you?" Tifa asked. "And to Cloud?"

It was a question Zack didn't know where to begin answering. Should he start at the beginning with Cloud being stabbed by Sephiroth, or skip ahead to the years in the laboratory, or should he simply say they were on the run and their pursuers shot at them?

"You were at Nibelheim, right?" he asked hesitantly, "When Sephiroth went crazy and burned it down?"

"Yes," Tifa replied slowly. Zack could tell she had no idea what this event so many years ago had to do with Cloud's condition now.

"After that we were taken... prisoner," Zack took a calming breath and continued, "We escaped a few months ago and now we're on the run,"

Tifa simply nodded.

"Finished," she announced dropping the last bullet into her hand. Just then heavy footsteps approached the door. Zack immediately pulled out his sword.

"It's Barrett," Tifa rose to answer the door, but it opened before she got there. A big man with a gun for an arm walked in. How these two could possibly be acquaintances was beyond Zack, but they seemed to be friends.

"We have a.. um.. visitor," Tifa told him, "Do you remember the friend I had growing up that I told you about? The one who went off to join SOLDIER?"

"What about him? Is he here?" Barrett's eyes landed on Zack, "Your friend or not, he's not staying here if he's with Shinra," he paused, "I thought you said he was blonde?"

"That's not him," Tifa said sadly. Then Barrett noticed the blonde man on the table. Even Barret was taken aback upon seeing his pale green-tinged skin and blood soaked uniform.

"I guess we have to keep them for the night, don't we?" he sounded as though he was referring to a stray puppy, but at this point Zack didn't care. He was just happy they wouldn't have to sleep in the street.

"Thank you," he said softly.

No one noticed Tifa silently slip out the back door.


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed! The Ninja and the Writer, Jadej.j, PathKeeper, ledah13, cloti4life, 022, and Shadowdog85, thank you all so much!

This is the first story I've published and when I first started reading reviews, I was actually so nervous I got light headed. Not kidding. Lol, pretty stupid, huh? But it's the truth.

So thank you so much for the feed back! Positive and negative (but especially the positive ;) )

And cloti4life, yes I am definitely for Cloti. I'm actually part of a community called "Cloti & Zerith are happiness"

**Somewhat important:** I couldn't find what Elana's sister's real name is, so until I'm told otherwise, I am dubbing her Anna.

Hope you like the chapter!

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><p>She needed to get away. To take it all in. What had they done to him? And why? What could Cloud possibly have done to deserve this? What had they done to the boy she knew in Nibelheim?<p>

_"Cloud," said the twelve year old Tifa, "Where are you going? Everyone else is going to the lake. Don't you want to come?"_

_ "I can't," he continued walking_

_ "Why not?" Tifa jogged to catch up, "I want you to come. You said you would protect me, remember?" Cloud stopped._

_ "I almost got you killed. And don't try to tell me it's not true. Your dad said so too."_

_ "Cloud," Tifa's voice softened, "It wasn't your fault, it was mine. I chose to go up there. I don't know why my dad keeps blaming it on you."_

_ Tifa gave him a warm, reassuring smile, "So, will you come?"  
>"I would, but I need to get home."<em>

_ "For what?"_

_ "My mom.." he searched for the right words, "She hasn't been the same since my dad died. I don't like leaving her home alone for too long."_

_ Tifa understood. Mrs. Strife hadn't been altogether there since the death of her husband, "Then I'll go with you" _

_ "You don't have to"_

_ "I want to," Tifa said firmly, "What happened to your arm?" she gestured to the large purple bruise on his left upper-arm. _

_ "Nothing," he told her covering the bruise with his hand, "I..I fell." Then Tifa noticed something else. She brushed his blonde hair back to revile an equally dark bruise on right side of his forehead. _

_ "Cloud, don't lie to me," Tifa demanded. She wasn't going to let him shy away this time, "What happened?"_

_ "Your 'friends' happened," he said bitterly, avoiding her eyes. Tifa's hand flew up to her mouth._

_ "Why didn't you tell me?" she asked exasperated. She thought of all the mysterious injuries he'd had lately. Could they all have been from her so called 'friends'?_

_ "You didn't wreck your bike last week, did you?" It was more a statement than a question._

_ "I don't have a bike."_  
>Tifa didn't understand now anymore than she had then. Why would anyone want to hurt Cloud?<p>

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><p>Darkness. It surrounded him, smothered him. There was no escape from the black. But then something broke through. A faint bit of light. He could hear a voice through the darkness.<p>

"Zack?" he called into the darkness.

"I'm here. Just hang on," the voice was distant, but it was there. But not for long. He could feel himself slipping farther into the darkness. Whether minutes, or hours passed he didn't know, but he heard voices again. One of them was Zack, the other was was a woman. The voice was so familiar. He tried to remember where he had heard it before. Somehow, he found the strength to force his eyes open.

"Tifa?" he tried to sit up, but a strong hand pushed him back down. Zack was talking to him. He could only make out a few words. "...relax ... stay ... a few hours... sleep.."

"But I heard Tifa. Is she here?" Cloud could feel the darkness closing in again. Threatening to take him over. He tried to fight back, but his strength had abandon him, and the darkness overtook him once more.

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><p>"Aerith, you can't do this!" Elena yelled as she ran down the hall after Aerith.<p>

"Don't tell me what I can't do," she snapped.

"We don't even _know_ that he's dead," Elena ignored her threatening tone, "Sometimes Shinra operations get a bit sticky. Some people reported dead are still alive."

"You would give them the benefit of the doubt, no matter what evidence there is because you don't _want _to believe there's anything wrong with Shinra. You still have yourself convinced your sister disappearing was an accident," Aerith wouldn't usually go so low as to bring Elena's "missing" sister into the argument, but she had lost her usual composer.

"She didn't come back from a mission. That's part of being a Turk," Elena said coldly, "It's an occupational hazard everyone in Shinra has to live with."

"But why doesn't anyone know what happened to her?"

"I don't know. But that doesn't automatically make it a conspiracy," Elena argued, "You don't know that Zack is dead any more than I know what happened to Anna."

Aerith stopped abruptly, "He's been missing for over four year. What do you think happened to him?"

"I don't know, but what is going to _him_ going to do to fix it?" Elena demanded as Aerith started walking again. She stopped at the elevator and pushed the button for the top floor.

"I want answers"

"Maybe you will get answers from him, but it's more likely you'll disappear just like Zack and Anna," Elena warned as Aerith stepped into the elevator, "Aerith, please, you can't go up there."

"Watch me," The large silver doors closed behind her. Aerith leaned against the wall and let the tears flow. She knew it. She knew he had to be dead. He told her he would always come for her. He promised he would come back. Aerith thought back to the day her SOLDIER fell through her roof.

A sad smile played at the corners of her lips. Even when the world was caving in, Zack could make her smile. She remembered giving him her list, but all she really wanted was to spend more time with him. He said he would try, but he never came back.

The elevator doors opened onto the top floor. She had never been up here before. Although she had always been curious, fear had held her in her place. Now, she didn't care. She walked down the long hallway to the large wooden office doors with 'President' inscribed on it in curly gold letters.

He's very full of himself isn't he? she said to herself. When he was President of a company so corrupt that even those who were part of it were not spared from it's cruelty, she didn't think he was worthy of the title. She hated Shinra with ever fiber of her being. Every day she had to remind herself she only joined them to find Zack. Whether or not it was worth it she didn't know, but it was the only way she could think of.

Aerith pushed the double doors open. The office was every bit as extravagant as the door, normal in that it had an office chair and a large desk covered in paper work. Nothing else about it was ordinary. The room was at least six times bigger than her little office down stairs. The entire back wall was a window, and the wall to her left was covered in computer monitors. She never knew he was watching them so closely. There were three men sitting in the room. Her eyes locked on the President, sitting in a blue easy chair. One of the other men made a gesture towards Aerith and President Shinra turned to look at her. "Hello, Miss Gainsborough," he said smiling at her, "Care to join us?"

Aerith's hate boiled up in her. She had never felt anything like this before. He was responsible, he was the reason for everything.

"What did you do with Zack?"

"Oh, so that's what this is about," he said still grinning, "I wondered when you would figure it out. You're such a smart girl, I'm surprised it took you this long. It's been nearly five years since he disappeared."

"Where is he?" Aerith said tensely. "I just finished saying you're smart. Are you trying to prove me wrong? Or do you honestly think he's still alive?" he replied smoothly.

"What did you do!" Angry tears threatened to break through her mask, but she would not let them fall.

"That's not important right now. What's important is what we're going to do with you," he rose from his chair.

"Don't move!" she pulled out the handgun she had concealed in her jacket, "Tell me what happened to him or I'll shoot."

"Alright," Shinra shrugged, "If you want to do this the hard way."

He nodded his head towards the other to men. Suddenly, one of them pulled out a small dart gun. Before Aerith had time to react, she heard a soft zipping sound and felt a sharp pain in her neck. She reached her hand up to something like a small pin protruding from her neck. The room began to grow darker. She collapsed and everything went black.

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><p>Thanks for reading! Reviews are much appreciated.<p>

I know not a whole lot happened here. It was almost an interlude, but I promise the next will be up soon.


	5. Chapter 5

So here's the truth: I don't own the original ff7, my cousin does. I have Crisis Core, but I haven't played the original game straight though from start to finish.

I sincerely apologize for any plot holes but, as I'm sure most of you know, FF7 has more plot details to keep track of than a Christopher Nolan film. I will do my best to keep it all together, but there's no denying there will be times when, either intentionally or unintentionally, I will stray from the original story.

So, sorry about my poor memory and literary shortcomings. Hopefully it doesn't ruin the story for you.

Thanks for pointing out where I screwed up and what I did well. You're all angels!

And cloti4life, Best. Review. EVER! I seriously love you right now, and hereby declare "Bazinga" an official word in my personal dictionary.

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><p>Zack awoke on Tifa's couch. It was the first time in months he had been able to get a full night's sleep and a delicious smell floated in from the kitchen. Breakfast. A real meal. Zack was in heaven. He entered the kitchen to see Tifa carrying a pan of eggs to the table.<p>

"Are you hungry?" she asked upon noticing Zack's entry.

"I love you," Zack exclaimed, sitting down at the table across from Barrett.

"I'll take that as a yes," she said lightly.

Zack was about to start eating when another thought momentarily pushed food from his mind.

"Did you check on Cloud? If you didn't I'll go up," Zack was already on his feet when Tifa answered, "I did. He's still asleep."

"So soldier," Barrett cut in, "What d'ya do that got ya on Shinra's hit list?"

Zack's fork froze halfway to his mouth. He had never really thought about why. He had been too focused on trying to keep them alive to think about much of anything else. What had they done?

"We were in the wrong place at the wrong time," he answered finally.

"Want to be a little more specific?" Barrett responded to Zack's vague answer.

"It doesn't really matter," Zack wasn't ready or willing to talk about this, "We left Shinra and we're not going back."

"Fine, don't tell me. See if I care," Barrett went back to eating his breakfast. Zack ate quickly, then went up stairs to see if Cloud was awake. It was unlikely, but since he had heard him speak yesterday he couldn't help but hope. He wasn't disappointed.

"Zack," Cloud said, relief washing over his face. Zack sat down on the edge of the bed. It had been so long since he had seen any kind of awareness behind Cloud's mako blue eyes, but now the glaze was finally gone. He still looked disoriented, but he was there.

"How are you feeling?" Zack asked. It was a stupid question. It was obvious he felt terrible, but he asked anyway.

"I'm okay," Cloud said in a voice far too tired to be at all convincing, "Where are we?"

"Seventh Heaven," Zack told him, then grinned, "And Tifa's downstairs," Cloud returned a small, but genuine smile.

"We made it," he said distantly, "Can we go down?" Cloud could tell Zack was going to object to him getting out of bed, so he quickly put on his best pleading puppy face.

"Please?"

Zack lost the argument before it began.

"Alright," Zack caved. Cloud swayed a bit when he stood and Zack put a stabilizing arm around him.

"Hey, Teef," Cloud said when they entered the kitchen. Tifa rushed over and threw her arms around him. To Tifa's surprise, Cloud stiffened as though she had just shocked him, but after a moment he returned the embrace. Zack tried to free his trapped arm, still wound around Cloud's shoulder, but it was impossible to do with out ruining the moment, so he waited until Tifa released him. Cloud immediately sank into the nearest chair, already exhausted just from the trip down to the kitchen.

"He's not going to be much help in a fight is he?" Barrett said with his usual lack of tack.

"Shut up," Zack growled, sounding even more threatening than he had intended.

"I'm just tellin' ya like it is," Barrett said shrugging, "But when chocobo head is healed up, I think you two will be good to have around."

"Good for what?"

* * *

><p>Aerith awoke with a jolt. She didn't know where she was or how she got there. Everything was dark. She tried to get up, but her head hit something metal. She felt around her tinny prison. She was in a car trunk. 'Stay calm,' she told herself. It takes about twelve hours to suffocate in a trunk, she couldn't have been in there more than eight.. she hoped.<p>

She grew up in the slums, so learning how to get out of a trunk was a necessary survival skill, but her captors were smart. They wouldn't leave a tool box or a tire iron in the back. She felt along the right side of the trunk until she found what she hoped was the trunk release cable. She pulled as hard as she could with her wrists bound in handcuffs, nothing happened. She tugged again, still nothing.

"Come on" she whispered. She ripped and pulled at the cable until finally, there was a click and the trunk popped open. Slowly she pushed the door up just enough to see out. They were riding down a dirt road surrounded by trees. 'You have to jump' she told herself. But her heart rate spiked at the very thought of jumping. 'I'll wait until they're at a red light or something' she thought. 'But where would there be a red light out here?'

She soon came up with a compromise. The next time they slowed down for any reason, she would jump. Soon she got her chance. As the car slowed and began turning right, she lifted the door and jumped to the left. For a few moments, directions were confused and 'up' was nowhere to be found. She rolled to a stop and watched the car drive away into the distance.

* * *

><p>"You want us to do what!" Zack shouted.<p>

"Join AVALANCHE," Barrett said simply.

"Not that! Blowing up a mako reactor! Are you insane?" Zack was verging on hysterical.

"Someone has to fight Shinra," Barrett stood up, "If we don't fight them, the planet will die."

"And if we go in there _we_ will die," Zack shot back.

"It's a risk we have to take," Barrett said, annoyance brimming in ever word.

"A risk _you_ have to take. I've spent the last four years just trying to keep us alive. I'm not going to waste it on a suicide mission," Zack stood to face him.

"So you'll just sit back and do nothing?" Barrett was shouting now too.

"You don't know what you're getting into," Zack's voice lowered to an uncharacteristically ominous tone, "You have no idea what they did to us."

"Zack," Cloud's voice came in, "If no one fights them, we all die anyway,"Zack turned around to meet his friend's eyes.

"Cloud," Zack faltered, "I- I can't let you go back there. If you think it needs to be done I'll go, but you are not going anywhere near Shinra."

"And I'll do what? Stay home and knit?" Cloud tried to stand, but fell back. Zack's SOLDIER reflexes got him there just in time to catch him. Cloud sighed, sinking back into the chair, "They killed everyone we knew. After everything Shinra took from us... I just think we need to fight them. Please, Zack, I need to do this."

"Fine," Zack folded his arms across his chest, "But if you die, Cloud, I swear I'll kill you." Cloud grinned victoriously.

"Before we go change the world," Tifa cut in, "I do my best to keep this place clean, so if you two are going to stay here, you need to get cleaned up. Cloud has trouble standing, so Zack, go.. Right now."

As soon as Zack was over his surprise, he couldn't help but laugh as Tifa ushered him up the stairs toward the bathroom.

"I did the best I could with what we had," he told her as she threw a towel at him.

"In," she pointed at the shower, then shut the door.

Zack laughed softly to himself. A shower. A real shower. After he'd ate a full meal and slept in a bed. Life was looking up. There was only one thing that was still bothering him, but he would worry about that tomorrow morning.

* * *

><p>"Hey, Tifa," Zack said walking into the nearly empty bar, "I need to go meet someone"<p>

"Who?" Tifa asked, looking up from the table she had just been scrubbing.

"Her name is Aerith. I promised her I would spend more time with her... I promised her that five years ago."

Tifa nodded in understanding, "Do you want me to go with you?"

"No. I don't want to leave Cloud alone just yet."

"Well, Barret would be here- ...I see your point," Tifa went back to scrubbing the table, "Just call if you need anything."

Zack checked the church first, but he wasn't too surprised to find it empty. He arrived at her house and knocked.

"Hello," said Elmyra as she answered the door. Zack hadn't known Aerith's adopted mother very well, but what he knew of her, he liked

"Zackary, is that you!" she exclaimed

"Yeah," was all Zack could say while being flooded by long lost memories, "Is Aerith here?" Elmyra eyes fell.

"Aerith hasn't been here in two years," she explained, "She finally took Tseng's offer to join Shinra in order to look for you."

"No," Zack whispered, "Is she alright? Where is she?" Elmyra shook her head sadly.

"I don't know. I was supposed to get a letter from her over a week ago. The last thing I heard, she was in the main office," she looked at Zack's hopeful expression and realized what he was planning.

"You're not going there, Zackary. You've been missing for five years, I'm not about to let you end up in Shinra's hands again. I've already been there, but they wouldn't let me in. There's not point in going," she could see she hadn't completely deterred him yet, so she added, "You won't find her. If she isn't with Shinra, then the best thing to do is wait and see if she comes back to Midgar."

Zack sighed, "You're right... I just wish I could see her again. I hope she's alright"

* * *

><p>Aerith ran as fast as she could. She didn't know where she was going, all she new was she had to get away. Blood pounded in her ears. Her legs felt like lead, and she could barely breath. But she couldn't stop. If she did they would find her. They would kill her like they killed Zack.<p>

She sprinted down the deserted street while the rain drenched her. Her soaked clothes clung to her skin, the water ran into her eyes and plastered her hair to her face. Her steps slowed as the last of her energy abandoned her. Before she realized her legs were giving out she found herself collapsed on the rain-soaked street.

'Hide' she told herself. She scanned the dimly moonlit street for anything that could conceal her. There was a small crash in the alley beside her. She struggled to her feet and dropped into a defensive stance. Then a cat ran out of the alley. Aerith let out a sigh of relief, but it was short lived, for a moment later the sound of footsteps echoed through the street. They were getting closer. She stood frozen, listening for where they were coming from. She started to back away as a dark form stepped out of the alley.

"Who's there?" she said in a shaky, fearful voice. The form slowly lifted one hand and she spun around to run.

Her scream was stifled by a large, gloved hand.

* * *

><p>"How did your reunion go?" Tifa asked as Zack entered. He sat slumped into the nearest chair, dejected.<p>

"That well, huh?"

"She's gone," Zack buried his face in his hands, "After all these years, I finally make it back to Midgar, and she's out there with Shinra looking for me."

Tifa understood Zack's pain. She had spent years worrying about Cloud, wondering what had become of her childhood friend. She remembered thinking no matter how terrible whatever had happened to him was, she still needed to know.

"I'm sorry, Zack"

* * *

><p>I guess Cloud might have been a good bit out of character there, but I thought since this is non-identity challenged Cloud, he would probably have a different view of AVALANCHE's mission. Hope it still worked. And with how many liberties I'm taking, what's one more? But hey, it's fanfiction. It comes with the territory.<p>

And no, the "I love you" line was NOT implying Zati, only Zack's love of food.

Things should start to pick up next chapter.

Thanks for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

The longer this goes, the more I think I'm not writing what would have happened if Zack lived, so much as writing what maybe could have happened in an alternate timeline. But where's the fun in reading if you already know what's going to happen? So I've added a few more twists.

And I know Tifa wasn't at the Mako Reactor in the original, but since I never understood why she didn't come along to begin with, I'm adding her in.

* * *

><p>'All most done' Tifa reassured herself. It had been a long day at the bar and now the only people left were the ones that hit on her. At that moment the phone rang. When she walked in to pick up, she saw Cloud had already answered. Tifa smiled, happy to see him on his feet again after two weeks of leaning on Zack everywhere he went. He stood listening for a moment, then without a word, hung up.<p>

"Who was it?" Tifa asked.

"I don't know. Wrong number."

"So.. you just hung up on them?"

"Yes," Cloud apparently didn't see anything wrong with his answer. She wanted to press the matter and explain to Cloud proper manors of answering a phone at a business, but their conversation was interrupted.

"Hey, broad," shouted a man at the counter, "Get me another one."

This was why Tifa hated evenings. She wanted to run an orderly establishment, but she also needed to make money, so she was forced to tolerate the vulgarity of drunken men to an extent. Cloud followed her as she got the man his drink.

As she handed it to the man at the counter, he grabbed her by the arm and kissed her on the cheek. After years of working at a bar, she had gotten used to this sort of thing. What surprised her was Cloud's reaction. He jumped over the counter and within seconds had the man on the floor in an arm bar. The man yelled, first in shock and then in pain from the position Cloud had forced his arm into.

"Next time you touch her, the arm comes off," Cloud told him. His voice was calm, but his eyes were blue fire. He then let go of the man's arm and walked away as though nothing had happened. Suddenly, Tifa had a much brighter outlook on evenings.

"Thank you," Tifa said, "But I could have handled it myself. I'm used to it."

"He had it coming," Cloud said with a shrug. He sat down on one of the stools by the counter, "If you don't want him to touch you, he shouldn't. If he does he'll answer to me."

Tifa remembered how Cloud stiffened every time someone other than Zack touched him. Sometimes even when it was Zack he looked uncomfortable. Maybe that was why he had felt the need to deck the drunken man. Zack had been looking out for her as well. Only two nights before he had quite literally _thrown _a customer out of Seventh Heaven, and the man had yet to come back. Zack and Cloud weren't very good for business, but they made her feel safer.

"You and Zack are watching me, aren't you?" It seemed at least one of them was in the bar with her at all times.

"We just don't think we should leave you down here by yourself." Tifa smiled. Hardened soldier that he was, deep down, he was still Cloud. He wasn't the boy she grew up with, but there were pieces of him in this new Cloud. He was damaged, but not destroyed.

* * *

><p>All of AVALANCHE gathered around the map Barret was pointing out entry and exit points on. Members also discovered that holding conversations and keeping a piece of paper still is vastly more difficult while standing on the roof of a train.<p>

"Wedge will secure the exit so we'll all meet up with him then get the hell outta there before it explodes," Barrett said concluding his plan as he pointed to a door on the map of the Sector 5 mako reactor, "Got that SOLDIER boy?"

"I still think you're crazy," Zack said lacking Barret's enthusiasm, "But I got it."

He turned to Cloud, "Do you think you're ready for this?"

"I'll be fine," Cloud replied, casually swinging the blade Tifa had found for him in the stash of weapons left behind by less fortunate once-AVALANCHE members. It wasn't quite a sword really, but not completely a gun either. Maybe it could best be described as a gun with a GIGANTIC switchblade attached to it.

"Alright! Let's go!" Barret shouted.

"Barret, we're right here," Tifa said in her usual calm and motherly tone, "You don't need to yell."

"Right. Sorry, Teef."

Zack was grateful that at least they were out of sight up here. He had taken off the shoulder pads, but the rest of his attire was SOLDIER and the mako eyes never helped with blending in. Cloud was a little less conspicuous in the dark blue, long sleeved shirt Tifa had found for him after his last shirt had been ruined. Zack's sleeveless turtle neck was every bit as tattered, but he continued to wear it anyway due to the fact that he couldn't stand sleeves. Tifa had done her best to get the stains out of it and patched up most of the holes.

As they arrived, Zack's anxiety strangely vanished as his SOLDIER training and instincts kicked in. He felt like he was on a mission with Angeal, back when he could still tell the difference between friends and enemies. He missed the days when friend and foe were never the same person.

Jessie lead the way off the train with a spectacular flip, shortly followed by Barret, although his exit was a bit less flashy. Zack's eyes briefly shifted over to Cloud, still unable to have complete faith in his recovery. He knew he was being a bit overprotective, but after months of dragging him comatose across the wilderness, who could blame him?

His worry was quickly proven unnecessary as Cloud launched himself off of the train in an even more magnificent display of skill than Jessie with apparent ease.

"Come on," Barret said, motioning to them to follow him into the reactor once they had all garthered.

"You were right," Cloud muttered to Zack, "This is insane. Do we even have a real plan?"

"Does Barret's plan of running in, planting a bomb, and running back out count?" Zack asked.

"We're screwed"

"Way to think positively, boys," Tifa said as she passed them to follow Barret.

"We'll be alright," Zack placed a hand on Cloud's shoulder. To Zack's surprise, he flinched.

"Sorry," Zack said quickly removing his hand, "I thought it was almost healed."

"It's okay," Cloud told him, suddenly taking an heightened interest in the stones on the ground.

"It's been weeks. I was fine after a few days with the materia Tifa gave us. It shouldn't be hurting you that much anymore. Do you want me to take a look at it?"

"I'm fine," Cloud replied, shying away even more.

"Zack," Cloud said suddenly, "I-I don't feel right.." he was shaking.

"Cloud?" Zack stepped in front of him to see his face. Cloud's eyes were closed tightly and his hands clutched his head in pain, "What's wrong? Cloud!"

"Get away from me!" Cloud screamed, dropping to his knees. He opened his eyes, but they weren't Cloud's blue eyes. They were green.

"Shut up!" Barrett hissed, "You're going to get us all..." he trailed off when he saw Cloud on the ground. "What's wrong with Spiky?"

Cloud closed his eyes again as Zack knelt down beside him. "Cloud, it's me. It's Zack"

Slowly, his body relaxed and he opened his eyes, blue once again.

"I don't-" Cloud started, his voice quivering, "I don't know what happened."

"It's okay," Zack helped him stand, "It's probably just an after effect of the mako. You were really sick, you know?" Cloud nodded, still shaking.

"Do you think it will happen again while we're in the reactor?" Barret asked, "If it does, I'm gonna have to knock you out. Just smack ya over the head with my gun or something. Nothing personal, I just don't wanna be killed by Shinra."

"I'm fine," Cloud took the lead into the reactor.

"Where do you want us to set this thing?" Zack asked Barret gesturing to the bomb in his hand, "Can we just set it off here?"

"We need to get closer to the drill or it might not do enough damage," Barret explained.

"I hate reactors," Cloud said to no one in particular.

"Who doesn't?" Barret replied, "Why do you think we're blowing them up?"

"Did you and Zack have to do work in the reactors?" Tifa asked, trying to turn conversation to more friendly waters.

"Not exactly," Cloud replied. His eyes seemed far away, lost in another time.

"Are you okay?" she asked

"I'm fine,"

"You always say that," she gently placed her hand on his forearm, "You don't have to tell me, but if you're not fine, it's okay to say so."

Cloud gave her a weak smile, "Thanks, Teef"

They ran through a maze of stairs and hallways until they reached a thick, metal door that required an access code.

"People died to get this code," Biggs said solemnly as he punched in the numbers.

After navigating a few more maze-like hallways, they entered a 'room' if you could call it that, as it was more like a chasm, with a single thin platform out to the center of the reactor.

"This is it," Barret announced once they had crossed, "Who would like to do the honors?" he asked holding the bomb above his head. No one moved.

"Ex-Shinra employees?" he turned to Zack and Cloud, "Feeling brave? This is your home field after all."

"Fine," Cloud reached for the bomb when Zack stepped in front of him.

"I'll do it," Zack took it cautiously. He carefully set the timer to 20 minute and placed it by the drill. When he stood, he found only Cloud and Tifa were still with him. Wedge, Briggs, Jessie, and Barret had all retreated to the door at the opposite side of the chamber.

"Very brave," he scoffed, "At least now I know who my real friends are."

"Us blowing up too wouldn't have made you explode any less," Jessie said nonchalantly, "Although, it's not like being 12 feet farther away would help us much anyway. We'd just like to get out of here as soon as possible."

At that moment the alarms went off. They were in the center of the reactor, so escape would be difficult. They could stand and fight or...

"Run!" Barret shouted. It was the first thing Barret and Zack could agree on. Barret, Wedge, Jessie, and Biggs ran out through the main exit behind them. Zack, Cloud, and Tifa were not so lucky. They were blocked from the exit by more than a dozen huge robotic security droids.

"This looks... slit-your-wrists-fun," Cloud said dryly.

"You were right," Zack replied, "We're screwed"

"We can fight them or we can look for another exit," Tifa weighed their options.

"I'm going to go with exit," Cloud took a step back toward the railing. Beneath their section of floor, ran a second platform. They didn't know where it would take them, but anything looked better than Shinra's security droids. They jumped over the railing onto the lower plane and sprinted down the nearest staircase until two more droids appeared. Zack smashed through the first in one stroke. The next, Cloud front-flipped over then cut down from behind while Tifa watched in amazement. She was a skilled marshal artist, but she had never seen the speed and strength of a genetically modified SOLDIER before. Not a sane one anyway.

They continued down the endless hallway, heading to seemingly nowhere. Finally, they came to a large room, although smaller than the one with the mako tanks, and full of strange looking vials and test tubes.

"Come on," Zack was anxious to get out of the lab room. He quickly stepped out into the next hallway, followed shortly by Tifa who stood in the doorway halfway between the two men. Cloud seemed every bit as uncomfortable as Zack in the strange room, but he was in less of a hurry to leave. He stood examining the instruments carefully laid out in one of the metal pans with a pained and slightly fearful expression.

"Cloud, come on," Zack knew this place was bringing back memories best left forgotten. Cloud snapped back to the present and began to follow. Just then, red lights began to flash all around the room. Zack and Cloud had seen Shinra lock downs before and knew exactly what the red lights meant. He pushed Tifa the rest of the way through the doorway just as a thick steel door fell between them.

"Cloud!" Zack ran to the door Cloud had just disappeared behind. He couldn't loose Cloud. After everything he had done to get them out of the reactor in Nibelhiem he was not going to let him end up locked in another one. He dropped to his knees trying to pry open the door at the bottom. This could not be happening. He had always made sure they stayed together, and now he lost him to a freaking door!

"Cloud! Can you hear me?" he pressed his ear to the door hoping for a response.

"I'm fine," Cloud's voice was faint through the thick layer of steel, "You and Tifa get out of here. I'll find another way out."

"No. I'm not leaving"

"Zack, there's nothing you can do," Cloud was right. There was no way to open the door, and no way to get around it. Zack was back in the tube. They were separated only by glass, but there was nothing he could do but watch as Hojo tore him apart piece by piece and listen to the screams. Of all the emotions he had experienced, he hated helplessness the most. He hated watching his friends suffer as much as he hated Hojo and Sephiroth. But no matter how much he hated it, the fact remained. There was nothing he could do.

* * *

><p>"I'll meet you back at Seventh" Cloud said, ignoring Zack's hysteria. He hated to do it, but they would never leave if he didn't. Cloud left the room to pursue a new exit, leaving Zack screaming through the steel panel to no one.<p>

* * *

><p>ledah13, you read my mind. I don't want to give too much away, but she'll be here because she's one of my favorites.<p>

022, yeah, it's hard to keep Cloud's complexity with this story line, but I plan on still unhinging him a bit as his memories come back. I promise I really do have a plan.

cloti4life, you should write your own dictionary! And there is no cooler word than harbinger ;). I know I'm kind of stretching it with the cloti, but sometimes I just can't help myself. They belong together!

I have a question for everyone: Would pineapples be better if on the outside, they were purple instead of brown? (It's kind of a long story...)

BAZINGA!


	7. Chapter 7

**Comment responses:**

In addition to bazinga being declared a word, purown is now a color.

"Why just purple, why not rainbow? Would it give me super powers?" Have I mentioned that you guys are awesome lately?

cloti4life, that is so cool! It's true, they're best friends forever and always in all lands and dimensions.

022, action scenes are the hardest thing to write for me, so they tend to be brief, but I'll try to extend them. Thanks for declaring my story worthy!

ledah13, we need to genetically engineer pineapple so their purpleness gives us superpowers! And I'll have to put that in sometime! I'm thinking maybe chapter 9 or 10

**Story related:**

When I first saw Reno, I thought the marks under his eyes were scars, so I'm going with that, although I've also heard they are tattoos. I'm not sure if anyone really know, so I'm making up a story for them.

022 recommended lengthening the chapters, so I have done so. Hopefully I didn't make it _too_ long. Let me know if it is.

Thanks for reading!

* * *

><p>"What is this?" Cloud muttered as he examined a few of the syringes on the counter. A strange black liquid was contained in several of the vials.<p>

_"You don't give in easy, do you? Let's see how you stand up to this. It's still in development, but I think it may do the trick."_

He clutched his aching head. He couldn't remember who said those words, only the paralyzing terror he felt while hearing them. Through his slightly blurred vision, his eyes landed on a dart gun carrying the same black liquid. Whatever it was, they had now weaponized it.

Another flash of pain blinded him as incoherent images flooded his mind and brought him to his knees. What happened to him in that laboratory?

He needed to get away from here as quickly as possible. Cloud had barely exited the room when the security droids found him. The first two he took down without a problem, then lunged at the third, dodging the blasts flying overhead. He dropped to the floor and rolled to the side while slashing through the robot's leg, then lept to his feet and charged after the next, hoping maybe it would be the last. He couldn't have been more wrong.

There were at least a dozen of them, and more on the way. He kept fighting. Slash. Flip. Stab. Jump. Slice. Dodge. He was down to four. His limbs felt like led and his lungs burned. Too tired for the offensive, he waited for the next one to come to him. Soon enough, the droid on the right attacked, guns blazing. He reacted instantly, smoothly blocking every bullet from the one on the right.

The problem was the robot on the left. He had not finished blocking the first droid when the second attacked him from behind. The first blow drove the air out of his lungs, the second came from behind as well and sent him into the wall, and where the third came from, he didn't know. After that, he only knew one moment he was flying through the air, and the next he was lying semiconscious on the cold stone floor. His head hurt, his shoulder hurt, everything hurt. The edges of him vision grew dim and the lights around him faded. All he remembered were bright, amber eyes before he returned to his all too familiar world of darkness.

"_You are my greatest creation. Not only will you replace him, you will be better than him. __Everything I had planned for him will be carried out by you. Now be quiet or I'll have to gag you again. It's hard to concentrate with you screaming and thrashing all the time."_

_There was green. Nothing but green, and cold, mad laughter. Then the green turned to red. Everywhere there was red. Blood. His blood._

"Get away from me!" Cloud screamed. His eyes snapped open and he sat bolt upright, but where he expected to see gray concrete was white drywall and paintings of long lost rural landscapes. Where he thought there would be tubes, needles, and scalpels, there were only windows, a desk, and a chair. Slowly, the laughter, still ringing in his ears, died away. In the chair was a woman. She was petite with auburn hair and twinkling amber eyes.

"It's okay," she said softly, "I'm not going to hurt you."

He wasn't sure why, but he believed her. He had no memory of seeing her before, but something about her was vaguely familiar.

"Where are we?" he asked trying to remember how he had gotten here.

"511 Main," she told him, rising from her seat, "I don't really know what that means any more than you do. Somewhere in Midgar. How's you head?"

"Like a migraine on steroids."

"Well, it did need six stitches. You had twelve total, including the ones on your arm"

He reached up and gingerly brushed his fingers against the gash on the left side of his forehead. Then his eyes found the deep cut in his upper left arm. All around, it could have been much worse.

"Thank you," he said. Suddenly the events of the reactor flooded back to him. Zack and Tifa. They would either be looking for him, or back a Seventh Heaven; either way they would be worried sick.

"I need to go," he said standing up a bit too quickly, resulting in him falling back onto the bed, "They're going to be worried about me."

"Relax," she said soothingly, "Do you have a number you can call them on? They could come pick you up. Walking back after a concussion doesn't seem to be the best of plans."

"Yeah, but it still beats Barret's plan by a long shot," Cloud muttered grudgingly as he quickly dialed the number of Seventh Heaven into the cellphone Jessie had given him. It was answered on the first ring.

"Cloud?" Tifa's voice asked hopefully.

"Hey," Cloud answered.

"It's Cloud," Tifa said to someone else on her end.

"Thank Gia," he faintly heard Zack's voice say.

"What happened? Are you okay? Where are you?" the questions flooded through the speaker, one after the other with no pause in between, overlapping with even more questions from the rest of AVALANCHE behind her.

"Which one of those do you want me to answer?"

"Where are you?"

"Hold on," he turned to the amber eyed woman, "Where am I, again?" She repeated the address which he quickly relayed to Tifa. Cloud gave her a brief retelling of what had happened, downplaying the life threatening parts.

"I'm just glad you're safe. We made it back to the room we last saw you in, but you were already gone. We thought if you already got out, you would probably go back to Seventh Heaven. I thought we were going to have to tranquilize Zack this morning to get him to calm down."

"I can imagine," Cloud said. Zack was usually pretty calm, but when he lost it, he was downright insane.

"We'll be there in about half an hour"

"See you"

Cloud hung up the phone, unsure of what to do with himself until they got there. He sat idly staring out the window for a while. After a while a question rose.

"How did you get me out of there?" he asked. He knew he wasn't a big guy, but the girl was still much smaller.

"I'm stronger than I look," she said casually, "It wasn't easy with the crazy security system, but luckily you had taken most of them out already."

He wanted to believe her, but the last few years had pretty well shattered his faith in the human race as a whole. She seemed trustworthy, but so had Sephiroth.

"Why did you help me?" It was nearly a minute of strained silence before she answered.

"It's a long story," she said finally, not meeting his eyes. Cloud wanted to press for answers, but thought better of it and instead they waited in silence.

Twenty minutes later, there was a knock on the door and he wondered how much speeding they would have had to do to get here a full ten minutes faster than predicted.

"Cloud!" several voices rang out the moment the door was open. He was instantly surrounded and hardly managed to stay standing under the force of the flood of embraces Zack, Tifa, and Jessie assaulted him with.

"Gently, guys. He has a concussion," the amber-eyed girl said. Tifa and Jessie immediately turned to her as Zack continued to fuss about whether Cloud was truly alright or not.

"Thank you," Tifa said sincerely. When Zack had finished inspecting Cloud's various injuries and was fully convinced that Cloud in fact was not going to keel over and die, he turned to face their new acquaintance as well. His eyes widened in disbelief.

"Hey, Zack" the girl said with a friendly smile. Zack stared for a moment, trying to decide if he believed his eyes or not.

"Cissnei?"

* * *

><p>Aerith stumbled backwards as the man behind her pulled her into a helicopter. After the door closed, the man released her and stepped back. Then a familiar voice reached her from the other side of the helicopter.<p>

"Hello, Aerith"

"Tseng?" Would he really personally come after her? He was one of the few people in Shinra she had somewhat trusted. She could handle being chased down by the rest of Shinra, but not Tseng, "Why are you doing this?"

"I know how this looks, but I actually just saved your life," Tseng explained, "The other man in the alley was going to kill you. I thought you would rather be a prisoner than dead." Aerith thought about it for a moment, trying to proses the idea of kidnapping being a favor.

"Thanks," she said, "But I can't go back to Shinra. Not after what they did to Zack"

"Actually, Aerith, I'm not entirely sure he's dead," Tseng lowered his voice, knowing giving Aerith information would be considered treason by some.

Aerith knew if she let herself hope, she was setting herself up to lose him all over again, but she could help it.

"How?"

* * *

><p>Cissnei's story<p>

_"Have you seen my son?" said the dark haired woman, "My son, Zackary. He was in SOLDIER, but I haven't heard from him in nearly five years. Do you know where he is?"_

_ "I'm sorry Mrs. Fair," Cissnei fought to mask the guilt, "We lost contact with him."_

_ "What happened? Where was the last place you saw him?"_

_ Cissnei did her best not to flat out lie, but the truth was hard to put into gentle words, "He is no longer with Shinra. He was last sighted heading for Midgar"_

_ "Why isn't he 'with' Shinra?"_

_ "I'm sorry, ma'am. That's classified"_

_ Zack's mother sighed, "Alright. At least he's still alive. Come in, dear. I'll get you something to drink"_

_ 'At least he's still alive,' That poor woman. Cissnei followed her into the house. It wasn't very big, but it was... nice. There were lots of windows and the small space was somehow still very open. The parts of the walls that weren't windows had painting of landscapes from around the world. Open and welcoming. The whole house had Zack written all over it. Mrs. Fair stopped at the edge of the kitchen._

_ "I remember walking in here nearly 20 years ago. My husband had a very long day at work and was down right exhausted. When Zackary was down, for some reason making him a peanutbutter and jelly sandwich made him feel better, so he decided to make one for his father. We heard this huge crash from the kitchen and ran in to see four year old Zackary standing in the middle of the biggest mess I have ever seen. He was just as sticky as everything else in the kitchen, but he didn't seem to notice. He just looked up at his father and said 'Daddy, I made you a sandwich.' His father must have laughed for a full ten minutes. We had to take him outside and hose him off before we even attempted to put him in the bathtub."_

_ So little Zack was just as caring, and bad at cooking, as present day Zack. And present day Zack was about to be shot in cold blood by the company he had dedicated his life to. They betrayed him, took everything from him, and somehow Zack was still fighting. She couldn't let them do it. She couldn't let them kill Zack. Maybe she was already too late, but she had to try._

_ "Mrs. Fair, thank you for inviting me in, but I need to leave."_

_ "I understand, dear. Let me know if you hear any news about my son"_

_ "I will"_

"I will" Cissnei repeated it to herself in the cockpit of the helicopter. She would do everything in her power to make sure the news she promised to Mrs. Fair was good news.

"Everyone return immediately," Tsengs voice came over the radio. Had someone else found them already? She hadn't heard anything from the other Turks. Cissnei picked up the radio and connected to Tseng's line.

"Who found them, sir?" she asked.

"Shinra," he said grimly. Her heart sank.

"Then why are we turning around? We need to find them now. Shinra will kill them if we don't!"

"There's nothing we can do. Go back. Now," Tseng's voice was tense and full of warning, but she wasn't going to let it go. Not this time.

"I'm not going to give up on them. We have to-"

"It's over, Cissnei!" his voice was edgy and as close to yelling as Cissnei had ever heard him. Then his tone lowered, "We're too late."

She heard his words, but she couldn't believe them. Zack couldn't be dead. She had risked her carrier, her life to help them escape. It had been foolish to let herself think that would be enough to save them. She put down the radio and turned the helicopter around.

"I'm sorry Zack," she whispered, fighting back tears a Turk wasn't supposed to be capable of, "I tried."

* * *

><p>"A few of the higher ups in the main military branch decided they didn't want all the glory to go to the Turks. They discovered the targets traveling on the back of a truck to Midgar," Tseng informed the group, "The targets were shot down on the outskirts of the city."<p>

His tone was professional and emotionless as always, and his face remained stoic, but his eyes betrayed him. He may not be openly grieving Zack's death, but he wasn't unaffected.

Cissnei didn't move, or speak, or in anyway crack the apathetic mask she had so carefully crafted during the ride back. She wished she could be as emotionless as her exterior implied. She wished she didn't care.

"Go back to head quarters for your next assignment," Tseng order.

"Why?" Cissnei asked quietly.

"You know why," Tseng had resealed the cracks in his mask so his expression could return to it's perfectly emotionless state.

"But why are we with them?" Cissnei fought to keep her voice steady, "Zack was a better person than anyone in Shinra. Why weren't we on his side?"

"Cissnei," Tseng snapped, his tone full of warning. She knew she was treading in dangerous waters as it was after letting them escape. If anyone found out, she would be killed. Silently, she stepped into the helicopter.

* * *

><p>It was nearly a three weeks later when the news reached reached her.<p>

"Fair is alive," Tseng informed them, "He has joined the rebel group AVALANCHE. The President has ordered us to find this group and eliminate them."

"He's alive? How?" Cissnei's shock from hearing of Zack's survival kept her from hearing the rest of the statement.

"Apparently the grunts did a poor job of killing him. That is why these kinds of jobs are left to the Turks. We don't make mistakes," Tseng handed Cissnei mission description.

"You want me to kill him?"

"We don't have a choice, Cissnei. Zack isn't just caught in the crossfire this time, he's joined a terrorist group," Cissnei bowed her head in defeat and Tseng continued, "I'm sending you, Rude, and Reno."

"All three of us?"

"With Zack, it will take that many. Reno and Rude just got back from their last mission, so you're going to have to fill them in on what's going on." Cissnei nodded, then met Reno and Rude by the helicopter.

"It looks like Tseng doesn't trust you anymore," Reno said. Cissnei shot him a half annoyed, half inquiring look. Reno answered her glare with an equally patronizing explanation. "If he did, he wouldn't be sending Rude and I to babysit you. You really screwed up this time, Ciss."

Cissnei was not in the mood for Reno's antagonism.

"I'm surprised he's sending you at all, after how your last mission went," he continued, "I wonder why he didn't just send me and Rude."

"The orders aren't to find Zack," Cissnei snapped, "It's to wipe out AVALANCHE." Reno raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"The group that blew up the reactor in sector five? Zack's with them?" Cissnei didn't honor him with a response. She climbed into the helicopter next to Reno, and Rude took the back seat.

"What are you going to do when we find Zack?" Cissnei asked Reno as they took off.

"Follow orders" Reno replied casually. There was no hesitation.

"Why?"

"Why?" Reno smirked, "Why do you breath? I want to live."

"But he's our friend," Cissnei pressed on.

"Turks don't have friends. Orders are orders. You follow them, whether you agree with them or not."

"So you don't agree with it?" Cissnei asked, although it was more a statement than a question. Reno realized he had slipped.

"It doesn't matter whether I agree with it or not" he snapped. Reno's usual lightheartedness had disappeared and the scars under each of his eyes seemed more pronounced. She had almost forgotten the last time Reno failed to follow orders.

"I understand the consequences of disobeying," Cissnei said a bit more softly, "But this doesn't seem right. I've always justified the orders I was given by saying I was doing it for my comrades. Now I've been ordered to kill one of them. Haven't you ever wondered if we're on the right side?"

"I don't care what side is the 'right' side," Reno said coldly, each word heavy with bitterness, "Who decides what's right and what 's wrong? They're both subjective. I'm on the side of the Turks. Who's side are you on, Cissnei?"

She couldn't respond. She didn't know the answer. They sat in silence until the helicopter began to descend.

"I'm sorry," Cissnei whispered. She would never forget the look of betrayed shock in Reno's pale blue eyes as she pulled the trigger. She wished she could tell him it was only a tranquilizer, that he would be fine in a few hours, but he would be unconscious long before she got the chance. She pointed the gun at Rude, sitting quietly in the back seat. She was glad he wore sunglasses so she wouldn't have to meet his eyes as he crumpled to the floor. Cissnei quickly took the now empty wheel. Her breathing sped up as the treachery she had just committed began to sink in.

"What did I just do?" she thought to herself. Sure, the Turks had always claimed that they worked alone. They said they didn't need anyone else. But it was a lie. The Turks we the closest thing she'd ever had to a family. "Who's side are you on?" She wished more than anything she could say she was on their side.

"You ow me for this, Zack" she muttered.

* * *

><p>It was hopeless. She had spent the last two days searching for Zack, but she had yet to come across any kind of clue as to where he was. Finding him in a city this size was like trying to find a needle in an entire field of haystacks.<p>

"You're a Turk," she repeated the words Tseng had told her so long ago, "When all else fails, we don't."

Back then, she had believed it. She thought that the Turks were invincible. The blind determination that had once motivated her seemed foolish now. "The Turks implement justice outside the law."

Justice? Was that the new rational for murder?

"You stupid, naive girl," she said to her former self, "You believed every word of it."

As the daylight began to fade, so did her hope of finding Zack alive. What if she was too late? What if the other Turks found them first? And what if the Turks found her? Could she bring herself to fight them? Doubt and worry threatened to turn into despair.

"I won't give up on them," she told herself firmly. She would continue her search tomorrow. For now, she needed to find somewhere to stay for the night. She kicked in the door of the first uninhabited house she found. There were plenty of homes left abandon since the sickness came. Geostigma, she believed they were calling it.

This is our doing, isn't it? Cissnei asked herself. We caused this plague. She watched as two children walked by. Sisters it looked like. The smaller of the two fell, too weak to go on. The older girl picked her up and began to carry her. She wondered what the news was blaming the outbreak on. Anything but Shinra, she was sure.

When the wicked wage wars, it's the innocent who suffer. This was Shinra's doing, and children were suffering for their twisted ambition. This was the world they had created. Cissnei asked herself the question that had been nagging at the back of her mind for years. Haunting her after every mission, every kidnapping, every assassination. The question she had pushed aside after ever atrocity she had committed in the name of Shinra finally rose to the surface.

"What have I done?"

* * *

><p>I know, I know. You figured out it was Cissnei in the fourth paragraph. Let me pretend it was a mystery, okay?<p>

I know Aerith's situation was a bit anticlimactic. I'll flesh out her position in the story more later since this one is mostly focused on Cissnei.

Thanks for reading!


	8. Chapter 8

ledah13, Yup, Cissnei is now part of the action. I always liked her, so I had to put her in.

022, thanks for the compliments and the help! I'll work on the action scenes.

cloti4life, Yeah, I'm going to have to get rid of the extras soon because I don't really know what to do with them. They're just kind of there.

Thank you to everyone who read, reviewed, favorited, and so on. You guys are the best!

* * *

><p>"You took out Reno <em>and <em>Rude!" Zack exclaimed, obviously impressed

"I didn't 'take them out'," Cissnei contradicted, "It didn't hurt them, and I could only do it because they trusted me enough to let their guard down."

"Well, I don't trust her," Barrett announced

"I would be dead if she hadn't come along," Cloud began

"She's a Turk,"

"_Was_ a Turk," Zack corrected, "I was a SOLDIER. Is that any different?"

"I don't trust you either, soldier boy"

Zack ignored Barrett's jibe and turned back to Cissnei, "You did what you thought was right. Reno and Rude are fine. You shouldn't feel guilty about this."

Cissnei tried to smile, but it faltered.

"You didn't see the way he looked at me," Cissnei kept her composer, but guilt was clear in her eyes, "The Turks were the closest thing I ever had to a family. Now, if we ever see each other again..." her voice trailed off, unable to finish the sentence.

"I know how you feel," Zack said gently. Cissnei met his eyes in a look of mutual understanding and knew they were both thinking of Angeal.

This wasn't the Zack she remembered. He wasn't the mischievous, energetic teenager with a severely impaired attention span she had known in Shinra. He wasn't the 16 year old kid Angeal had chased around trying, and often failing, to keep under control.

_"Zack, focus."_

_ "But I was just getting warmed up!"_

_._

_ "One more 'failer to obey orders' report, puppy, and I'll have you in the front lines in Wuti"_

_ "Seriously! I get to go to Wuti! When?" _

_._

_"Zack, do you have a sec?" Angeal asked in his usual stoic tone._

_ "I have lots of secs," Zack paused for a moment, until he realized what he had just said, then burst out laughing. _

_ "I didn't even plan that"_

_ "Zackary... what am I going to do with you?"_

He was as naive and optimistic as they come, but that boy was gone. Now he was the man she had helped escape from the living hell of the labs. The man she had watched carry his sick friend across the country while an entire army pursued him. The man who had lost so much, but still found the strength to smile. Cissnei summarized everything she wanted to say in a few simple words.

"I'm sorry, Zack. For everything"

The rest of the group watched, unsure of how to react to a Turk apologizing.

"We should keep moving then," Cissnei added before things became too awkward, "I've been jumping from one abandoned house to another the last few day. It works pretty well."

She was met by a multitude of quizzical stares.

"You mean you've been staying in one place this whole time?"

"We own a bar called Seventh Heaven," Tifa answered, "We've been safe their so far."

"Maybe so, but it's only a matter of time before they find you"

"I ain't leaving Seventh," Barret said immutably.

"Zack," Cissnei appealed for support, "You know more than anyone about running from Shinra. You know they can't stay there, right?"

"I know that..." Zack said hesitantly, "But-"

"But what?"

"You're right," he admitted, "It was wonderful to stay in one place for a while, but Cissnei's right. After that last attack, it's time to move."

"Seventh Heaven is the closest thing to home we have," Tifa argued, "And how are we going to be any safer on the streets than there anyway?"

Cissnei looked around the room and knew she had lost. Only Zack was on her side, and even him reluctantly so. There was no point in pressing the matter any farther.

"Cloud, are you alright?" Tifa asked timidly, drawing the attention of the rest of the group to the shaking blonde, his hands fisted tightly in his hair. Suddenly, he fell to his knees with a strangled scream of pain.

"Stay away!" he shrieked, his eyes glowing green again with small cat-like pupils.

"Cloud," Zack knelt beside him.

"Don't touch me!" he squeezed his eyes shut, gasping for air, his whole body tense in agony.

"It's alright, Cloud. You're alright," At a loss for what else he could do, Zack rubbed small circles on his back in a helpless attempt to calm him down. Zack could protect him from outside threats, but he had no defense against the bloody memories of his past and the broken, Jenova cell infested pieces of his own mind.

"Zack," he pleaded, "Help me. Please. Make it stop. Make him stop..." his body began to relax as his voice trailed off. He slumped into Zack, who pulled him up into a sitting position. Cloud closed his eyes and leaned his head on Zack's shoulder, still trembling. Zack put his arm around him and looked up at the shocked group watching them.

"He has these weird attacks since we left Shinra," Zack explained surprisingly calmly, "You can't really do anything but wait for them to stop."

The members of AVALANCHE remained in silent horror, while Cissnei wore an expression that was a mixer of grief and guilt.

"It's still not as bad as the mako poisoning, though," Zack said, trying to convince himself as much as the rest of them it would be alright, "The poor kid couldn't even stand for months"

"Cloud?" Tifa said softly kneeling in front of him. She gently brushed a stray strand of blonde hair away from his face, "It's alright. We're here. Zack and I are here"

Cloud took a shaky breath and opened his eyes. They were blue around the edges, but the rest of the iris was still bright green.

"Sorry," he muttered

"Sorry?" Tifa was puzzled, "For what?"

"I would imagine that was a little freaky to watch," his voice was alien, detached and almost dead, "How bad was it?" he asked Zack

"Not bad," Zack replied, attempting to sound light.

"Liar," Cloud muttered. He lifted his head off of Zack's shoulder and, with Zack's help, stood.

"I guess we should go," he sounded almost as exhausted as he looked. Tifa followed them outside, a few steps behind. She was surprised to find Barret walking beside her with a look of intense worry.

"Do you think Spiky's gonna be alright?"

"I don't know," Tifa replied sadly, but then her tone lightened, "I'm proud of you Barret"

"For what?"

"You just admitted to being worried about Cloud"

Barret opened his mouth to deny the accusation, but no words came, so he simply muttered, "Don't get used to it"

* * *

><p>"There's more going on here than even the Turks know about," Tseng explained, "I'm going to help you escape, but in return, you have to help me uncover what's really happening in the labs and in Wutai."<p>

"Wutai?" Aerith said, "Is this about Elena's sister's disappearance?"

"That, and much more," Tseng answered, "Anna isn't the only one to disappear in Wutai. Behind the scenes of Shinra has been a grisly place for years, but this is something different entirely. There's an entire department we know nothing about, except for rumors circling around a place called Lab 9. Zack and Cloud were held as test subjects because they knew too much. I believe it may be the same for Anna, but the question is, what does she know that Shinra wants to hide? What's really happening in Wutai?"

"I can try to investigate, but I have to find Zack first," Aerith told him as the helicopter began to descend, "Where are we?"

"Neibelhiem," he answered, "Go to the basement of the abandoned mansion. You may find the answers you're looking for. Once you find Zack, head to Wutai."

"But if Shinra has operations running there, isn't it the last place we should go?"

"Zack teamed up with AVALANCHE. If fighting Shinra is the goal, Wuti is the place to start"

"But what about you?" she said, "What will you tell the Shinra troops who saw you take me?"

"You shot me," Tseng answered calmly. She was puzzled by this answer for a moment, then horrified as Tseng pulled a handgun out of his jacket.

"Tseng, don't!"

He pointed the gun at his right leg and fired, then crumpled on the ground.

"Go," he said through clenched teeth, "Find Zack"

Aerith didn't want to leave Tseng like this, but she had no choice, "Thank you. I'll find him, I promise."

* * *

><p>By the time they arrived back at Seventh Heaven, Cloud was almost himself again. The dark circles under his eyes persisted, but the pale greenish color had gone from his skin and his eyes were once again fully blue except for a little green around the pupil.<p>

'How long had it been since Zack and Cloud had had a normal day?' Tifa wondered. One with no mako, or soldiers hunting them, or crazy AVALANCHE business. The moment they were free of Shinra, AVALANCHE had taken them back in. She wanted them to have a few days with no worries or disasters. Tifa was going to do her best to make things normal.

"I'm going to the grocery store everyone"

"Aww," Barret moaned, "But I'm starving"

"Then you make dinner," Tifa retorted

"But I... Jessie!"

"She's in the shower," Tifa said with a victorious grin, "You can wait, or you can make it yourself"

"Hey, SOLDIERs," Barret called, in search of a loop hole, "You wouldn't happen to know how to cook would ya?"

"Um.. no," Zack said hesitantly. He knew Tifa was carrying the weight of house management pretty much single handedly, but it was true he had no idea how to cook a meal. Every time he tried, disaster followed, but he did want to help, "I guess we could try if you wanted"

"You don't have to," Tifa said, "It's fine. I'll be back in ½ an hour anyway." With that she left.

"She really shouldn't have to do everything," Zack said just after the door closed, "We should try to make something."

"Sure. But.. you do remember your last attempt to cook don't you?" Cloud said

"I was 16. Give ma a break," the memory of Angeal walking in the kitchen to find him frantically spraying the stove with a fire extinguisher was forever ingrained in his mind, "And how do you know about that? We weren't even friends yet then."

"Zack,_ everyone_ knew about that," Cloud replied, "The crazy youngster who almost burned down the SOLDIER dorms."

'_Anyway_, I still think we should to do this for Tifa," then Zack added sheepishly, "And preferably not set the house on fire."

"Let's get started," Cloud said standing, the effects of the mako attack almost completely gone, "Barret, where do you keep the fire extinguisher?"

Barret pointed to the correct cabinet and Cloud set the extinguisher on the counter, "Just in case"

"Okay, what should we attempt?" Zack asked. Cloud reached for the recipe book on the shelf above the refrigerator, but due to his lack of height, he was forced to climb onto the counter.

"How does Tifa reach this stuff?" he asked annoyed. Zack pointed to a folded stool leaning against the side of the refrigerator.

"I probably would have grown more without the mako," Cloud muttered bitterly, "Stupid Hojo"

Zack had never thought about it, but he was probably right. Cloud had only been 16 when they were taken. He most likely would have grown another couple inches.

"You're not short, you're fun sized," Zack said ruffling his hair, "So what if you're vertically challenged? You could still take down just about anyone, any height. Like Barret" That earned a rare Cloud smile.

After a lengthy debate, they decided on pancakes because they seemed the least likely to end in explosions or toxins.

"First ingredient," Cloud read aloud, "Four cups of flour."

After a long search for flour, a bowl, and measuring cups, Cloud scooped out four cups of flour and dumped them, mostly, in the bowl.

"Cloud, you're getting it everywhere," Zack said brushing some of the powder off his arm, being sure all of it flew onto Cloud, "Merry Christmas, Spiky"

"Happy Hanukkah," Cloud replied returning the flour to it's previous owner.

"Um.. New Years!" Zack threw a handful at Cloud, and soon the whole kitchen had turned white.

* * *

><p>Tifa's eyes widened upon entering the war zone of a kitchen. Zack lowered his hand holding the flour he was about to throw at Cloud.<p>

"Sorry, Teef," Zack said sheepishly, "We were trying to make less work for you but... it kinda got out of hand. We'll clean it up, I promise."

Tifa looked from one flour covered soldier to the other, then burst out laughing, one fit of laughter after another. When she regained some of her composer she spoke.

"Don't worry about it," She examined the kitchen, grinning widely, then started laughing again, "How on earth did you manage to get flour on the ceiling?" Both of them turned there eyes upward.

"I have no idea," Zack replied, trying to recall what could have projected the flour that high.

"Boys," Tifa said shaking her head. She casually strolled over to the counter, "Since we're going to have to clean the entire kitchen anyway..."

She snatched up a handful of flour and threw it at Zack, who quickly retaliated. After a few exchanges of white powder, they had a look of mutual understanding and both of them turned to Cloud and simultaneously flung the powder at him. He ducked and manged to whip a handful horizontally so it caught both Zack and Tifa. At that moment, a miracle happened. Cloud was laughing. It wasn't soft or restrained, but loud and natural. For the first time in five years, he was really laughing.

"When are we going to eat?" Barret asked from the next room. Upon entering the kitchen, he promptly turned around and went back to the couch, deciding he wasn't even going to try to process what he had just seen. Zack was laughing now too, and Tifa couldn't help but join in. Zack laughed until he had tears in his eyes, but Tifa thought there might be another contributing factor to that.

"We're really free," he whispered to himself as he dabbed his watering eyes with the back of his hand.

"I guess we should clean this up," Cloud said, still shaking with laughter.

"Yup," Zack said cheerfully. He looked around the white kitchen, "Uh.. Teef, how exactly do we do that?"

* * *

><p>Aerith was lost. More lost than she could ever remember being. She walked down hallway after hallway, every turn getting her more lost than the last. Finally she came across something that looked like maybe, just maybe it would help her uncover Zack's fate. Even if he really was dead, she still needed to know. During her time at Shinra, she had found records of Zack's last mission. He had been sent to Nibelhiem, and was never seen again. The records provided no explanation for his disappearance, only stating that his status as a First Class SOLDIER had been revoked. She didn't know much about Nibelhiem, but Tseng was right that it seemed like a good place to start. He had taken quite a risk to get her here. Flying across an ocean wasn't an easy thing to do unnoticed.<p>

The mansion was abandoned, but the lack of security didn't make it any less complicated to navigate. Finally she came into the laboratory. Every object in the room looked like it had been taken straight from a horror movie. She could only hope she was wrong, that Zack had never been here. That he had never been subjected to any of the horrors held in this room. A wall of files stood in front of her. Unsure where to start, she opened a drawer at random and began to page through the records until she realized they were in alphabetical order. She quickly found "F" and a moment later found the file labeled "Fair." Part of her didn't want to know. Part of her wanted to leave it buried in the filing cabinet forever, but she forced herself to open it.

Name: Fair, Zackary

Species: Human

_Fair is not responding to the injections as hoped. Subject has already been tempered with during standard SOLDIER modifications. Will be refocusing Sephiroth recreation and Jenova cell experimentation on Strife. In the future, Fair will be used for other miscellaneous objectives._

Aerith had heard enough, her stomach a bit queasy. Zack really had been here. Her deepest fear had been realized; they had done to Zack the same thing they had done to her mother. He was locked in this hell, probably for years. She let a tear slide down her face. Her poor, brave soldier.

"Fair," she scoffed at the irony. Sure it was his name, but it seemed nothing "fair"ever came his way.

"Strife." Who was Strife? The name sounded familiar. She searched through the "S"s until she found the name.

Name: Strife, Cloud

Species: Human

Proving to be an ideal test subject. If all goes well, he may be an even greater creation than Sephiroth. Subject's resistance to personality modifications is lessening with time. Mental state is deteriorating. Electroshock applied to remove memory. New chemical should ensure submission to personality recreation. Life signs have deteriorated due to over exposure to mako. May be problematic. Experimentation will be discontinued for one week, or until subject appears stable.

"Cloud," she whispered. She knew the name. But from where? She wished she could remember.

* * *

><p>"This is insane," Zack muttered, summarizing the past five years of their lives. It had only been a few days, and Barret was already starting another "plan" to take down the next reactor on his hit list. Zack decided to distract himself from the impending doom Barret had devised for them by changing the sheets, which desperately needed to be done but none of them, not even motherly Tifa, had made the time to do it. He ripped off the old sheets in one smooth stroke; that was the easy part. He then fought with the new ones to find the longer side. When he had won the battle of figuring out which side goes where, he started the war of attempting to cover all four corners at once. Each time he tucked it in at one end, the opposite corner would come undone. He pulled and tugged at the sheet until finally, with a groan of frustration, he collapsed onto the bed.<p>

"Having trouble, Zack?"

He looked up to see Cloud standing in the doorway. Zack buried his face back in the sheets.

"Yes," his voice was muffled through the cloth, "The sheets attacked me. I tried to force them into submission, then they rebelled and tried to assassinate me"

"That's ruff, buddy," Cloud replied with feigned sympathy, "Sheet rebellion is a rising epidemic. Over 3 deaths a year are caused by sheets."

"Very funny. You know, you're going to feel terrible if I ever am somehow killed by a sheet."

"Sheet attacks are no laughing matter, Zackary," he continued in a professional tone, "This is a very serious issue. I'm considering releasing a public service announcement about it."

Zack lifted his head to look at his companion. Cloud was joking. He was actually _joking._ When was the last time Cloud had joked about anything? But now, here he was making up an entire rising epidemic of sheet assassinations. Zack couldn't do anything but laugh.

"Where did that come from?" he asked when he could breath again.

"I don't know," Cloud said shrugging, "It popped into my head"

"You're the only person I know who looks serious even while joking," Zack shook his head, then continued.

"I think Tifa's almost done with dinner," he headed for the door, "You coming?"

"I'll be down in a minute," Cloud replied, "I just need to check something first"

"Something?"

"Yeah. Something. It's a thing. And there's some of it," Zack rolled his eyes. Once Cloud was in all out sarcastic mode, there was no getting a straight answer.

"I'll see you downstairs"

Cloud waited for Zack's footsteps to disappear down the stairs before he removed his blue turtle neck and looked in the mirror.

It was getting worse. Everyday the black bruises grew. Most of his right upper arm and shoulder were covered in the incurable disease. It was now making it's way down his forearm and had begun to creep up his neck. He wrapped his arm in a new layer of gauze to keep any of the black from seeping through his shirt.

He knew he wouldn't be able to hide it much longer. No amount of cloth or random sarcasm could hide this from the others forever. Part of him would be relieved to have them know. Then he wouldn't have to deal with the reality that he was dying on his own. But he knew it would hurt them, so he would hide it for as long as could. For Zack's sake especially, he would keep his plague a secret.

"Cloud?" There was a knock on the door.

"Hold on a second," Cloud slipped on the navy turtleneck and checked in the mirror to make sure none of the Geostigma was visible, then opened the door to see Tifa.

"What's up?"

"We're about to eat dinner. Would you like to join us?" she asked

"I'm not really hungry" Cloud replied dryly. Tifa pursed her lips.

"Are you alright?" she asked timidly.

No! His head screamed. No I'm not alright. I'm about as far from alright as humanly possible.

"I'm fine"

Tifa stared into his eyes. Red wine met sky blue, "Liar"

"It's nothing, Teef," his lie was halfhearted, "It's not a big deal" he sat down on the edge of the bed. Tifa joined him.

"Cloud," she said, "Do you trust me?"

He paused for a moment, trying to decide how to answer. Did he trust anyone anymore?

"I don't know," he said finally, "If I was going to trust someone other than Zack it would be you Teef, but... you can't be betrayed if you don't trust anyone to begin with."

"Then what do I have to do to get you to trust me?"

"There's nothing wrong with you, Teef. There are just a lot of things wrong with me." Neither of them spoke for a while. Tifa was the one to break the silence.

"I trust you"

Cloud looked at her, surprised, "Why?"

"Because you never hurt me before. I know you won't hurt me now" And with that, Tifa left, then called over her shoulder from the hallway, "And come down if you get hungry. We have plenty to go around."

What could he say? As messed up as he was, Tifa still trusted him. She cared about him. Tifa was kind, strong, and, apart from maybe Zack, the best friend he had ever had. Was it really so hard to believe she was trustworthy?

"I trust you, Teef," he said to the empty doorway.

* * *

><p>"you can't be betrayed if you don't trust anyone to begin with."<p>

The words felt like a knife in her heart. Not because he didn't trust her, but because of how deeply Shinra had hurt him. They forced him to be his own strongest alley, carrying the weigh of a world that betrayed him.

"I want to help you, Cloud," Tifa thought, "If you would only let me."

* * *

><p>I guess I'm a pretty cruel author. Poor Cloud.<p>

And so ends "Life at Seventh Heaven." Tomorrow, onto plot and things happening!


	9. Chapter 9

This is a little short, but I'm just too tired to write anymore of something remotely comprehensible. I really need to stop writing & editing at 2 - 4 in the morning.

**OhJay**, I just understood your screenname! (another reason I need to stop doing this at 2 in the morning). Love it! And now I'm thirsty...

**cloti4life**, yes, one of the earliest signs of Geostigma is intense bouts of extreme sarcasm! Actually, I thought of it because of "A Separate Piece." Toward the end the lead character is constantly cracking jokes, not because he's happy, but because he's been pushed over the edge and that's his coping solution. I'm not going to go that extreme with it, but I thought it was an interesting reaction to stress.

**ledah13**, I didn't even think of the double shuriken issue. Yuffie kind of gets on my nerves, so I've been delaying introducing her. I'll bring her in eventually.

**022**, You know EVERYTHING! Seriously, you need to write something because your writing style and vocabulary superb, plus you know every FF7 fact under the sun. I'll try to go back fix up the plot holes tomorrow. Glad you like my Cloud portrayal, because he's quite difficult to characterize. I'm much better at grasping personalities than maps.

* * *

><p>"So she shot you and escaped," Reno repeated skeptically, "Tseng, do you think anyone, <em>anyone, <em>is going to believe that?"

"No," Tseng replied, "But they're going to pretend to."

"Care to elaborate?"

"I know too much for them to fire me, and I'm too important for them to just kill off easily without anyone noticing," Tseng said calmly, "Further more, they're going to have a hard time finding a replacement who's as good at this as I am."

"I wouldn't bet on that. When Shinra wants someone gone, they will be dead. But you know that, don't you? You're risking your career and life just to help this ancient girl," Reno criticized, "I thought Turks were supposed to be smarter than that."

"No, I'm doing it to get a contact on the other side. I can't investigate Wutai with Shinra watching me, so the best I can do is form an alliance with someone who can."

"Sure, but why must you form it this stupidly? You just happened to have engine problems and that's why you just happened to transfer to a different craft, purely coincidence that it happened to be one specialized for long distance. Then as you were transferring, she somehow got a hold of a subordinates gun and shot you, then escaped. Your story for what you've been doing the last few days while you were flying her to another continent is that you went to a medical clinic, then went looking for her, although you didn't send back any kind of report. That's about flimsy as stories get."

"Not quite. A mission report saying 'we crash landed and Cissnei disappeared' is as flimsy as it gets."

"There was more to it than that!" Reno argued, "But yeah, it's obviously total BS. But unlike you, when everyone saw through it immediately, I accepted that no one would believe it and changed it to the truth before it left the Turk's office."

"That, and Rude would have sent in a correct report that proved you were lying. Anyway, I didn't know when I would get another chance to talk to one of them, so I took it. If you had informed me sooner that Cissnei had run off and joined them, I wouldn't have taken that risk."

"So we're both equally stupid," Reno sighed, "No one is going to trust the Turks after this."

"Did they ever?" Tseng asked rhetorically, "At least maybe we'll be less involved in the AVALANCHE missions."

"This is quite a mess we're in, isn't it?"

"Hopefully it will blow over. If not, I guess death is just an occupational hazard around here. Good luck on your next mission, by the way. You're going to need it."

* * *

><p>"Cloud" his mother's voice said as she materialized before him, her arms outstretched toward him. He hesitated to go to her. He wasn't strong enough to take care of her right now. But she needed him, so he didn't have a choice. As he walked toward her, her expression changed from welcoming to fearful, "Why did you let this happen?"<p>

Fire surrounded them, engulfing his senses as his mother continued speaking, "Why didn't you save me?"

"I-I tried," he said helplessly.

Her eyes rolled back into her head as the flames licked at her skin, "Why did you let me die!"

"I didn't-" he tried to step away, but his legs wouldn't move.

"WHY DID YOU LET ME DIE?" she screamed. Blood ran from her now empty eye-sockets as she approached him, engulfed in fire. He looked for a way out, but there was nothing but fire. He turned back to his burning mother, but instead he saw a silver haired man with glowing green eyes.

He tried to scream, but no sound came as Sephiroth's sword pierced his torso.

"You killed her Cloud," he said, his eyes alight with mad glee, "For I have killed her, and you are me."

Cloud awoke in a cold sweat, gasping for air. His hand clutched his sternum, but instead of a stab wound, there was only a dull ache in the long healed scar. His breathing began to regulate as the terror subsided.

He rolled over to look at the clock, 4:30, and brushed a stray strand of blonde hair out of his eyes.

"Why can't I just sleep through the night like a normal person?" he muttered, burying his face in his pillow. Just once, he would like to have a dream free of blood, needles, and fire.

There was a soft creek and his eyes snapped back open. He could here foot steps on the floor below of two people. Too heavy to be Tifa, Jessie, or Cissnei, and Zack was fast asleep on the other side of the room. His heart rate accelerated. It could be Wedge and Biggs, or maybe Barret. No, it couldn't be Barret. He could hear Barret snoring in the next room. The footsteps were right below them. Cloud jumped silently out of bed and grabbed the sword/gun crossover he now kept within reach when he slept at all times and walked down the hall just to make sure. He looked in the room shared by Wedge and Biggs, expecting to see the beds empty, but instead both of them were sleeping peacefully. He rushed silently back to his room.

"Zack," he whispered shaking his shoulder, "Wake up." Zack groaned and rolled over, burying his face in his pillow.

"Shhh! Zack, get up!" Cloud whispered frantically. Zack looked at him sleepily. His eyes were glazed over, but concern slowly began to seep into his expression.

"What's wrong?" He whispered groggily rubbing his eyes.

"There's someone in here," Cloud whispered, slowly making his way down the hall past Barret's room, "They're too heavy to be one of the girls, and Biggs and Wedge in their room." Just then Barrett appeared in the doorway.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"Shhh," Cloud gave himself over to paranoia. He could hear low voices in the kitchen. Slowly and silently, he walked down the hallway, Zack and Barret close behind him.

"So are we just supposed to take the two fugitives, and kill the rest, or take them all?" said a man's voice.

"Neither," said a second, deeper voice, "We take the blonde one. He's the only one Hojo wants. Fair dies along with the rest of them"

"That's cold," said the first voice, "I'd prefer not to kill Zack. And if Cissnei is here.." his voice trailed off.

"Reno," said the deeper voice, "We are Turks. We do our job, regardless of who it involves"

"And what if Rufus suddenly decides you need to die? Should I do it? I'm not killing Cissnei."

"It's Reno and Rude," Zack groaned. He new this would be a problem, not only because Reno and Rude were two of the best Turks of all time, but because he was going to have a hard time making himself kill such familiar faces.

"Barret," he whispered, "Wake up everyone else, and get out of here."

"Why me?" Barret asked indignant.

"Just do it. Cloud and I have handled Turks before," Even through the darkness he could see Barret was about to protest, "Please, if you love your daughter, you'll do it." Barret thought for a moment, then nodded and headed up the stares. Zack stood with his back against the wall, just outside the doorway of the kitchen.

"This isn't easy for me either. But I'll do it," Rude paused for a moment, "But if I take out Cissnei, then you have to take care of Fair."

"Fair enough," Reno said, not noticing the terrible wordplay, "I'll look up stairs"

"Reno!"

Zack tried to grab her arm as she ran past, but Cissnei was already out of reach. How had he not noticed her coming up behind them? Her stealth was scary sometimes. She skidded to a stop in front of the redheaded Turk.

"Before you touch any of them, you fight me"

"Hey, Ciss," Reno greeted her.

Her expression softened from defensive to mournful, "I'm sorry. I didn't want to do it, but I didn't know any other way," she stood just far enough away that he wouldn't be able to reach her with his EMR, "I don't want to fight either of you, but you know I will if I have to."

"Reno," Rude warned as he came through the doorway.

"What?" Reno moaned, casually tilting his head back toward Rude, "Can't I have a friendly conversation with my ex-coworker before we have to kill her?"

"I just called in and told the higher-ups AVALANCHE is at Seventh Heaven. If you don't kill them, they will," Rude started toward Cissnei, ready to attack, and Zack quickly found his face a few inches from Reno's EMR. He wished he had his sword, but the umbrella beside the door would do just fine. Zack Fair, once again taking on Shinra with rain resistance implements.

Reno was good, but he was better. The redheaded Turk was forced back a step with every swing. Sparks flew from the now slightly chard umbrella as electricity surged through it. Zack's fingertips began to go numb as electricity flowed into his hands from the handle as the umbrella made contact with the EMR. He wasn't sure if he could keep his grip or not. He slashed full force, trying to end the duel quickly before he lost feeling in his entire hand, but it backfired.

Reno met his his swing with an equally forceful blow, sending the umbrella flying from his numb hands. Out of the corner of his eye, Zack saw Cissnei locked in an equally intense fight with Rude until Cloud smashed the flat side of his sword against Rude's head. He fell to the ground, out cold. Zack's attention returned to Reno who still hadn't moved from his position with his EMR extended toward Zack's face. Rather than victorious, his expression was conflicted. He lowered his arm and retracted the EMR.

"To hell with it," Reno muttered and casually walked over to his fallen companion.

"Oh no," he said, emotionlessly monotone, "Looks like I left the exit wide open"

"Reno," Cissnei choked out in shocked joy, "Are you really..."

"See ya around," The other three watched in amazement as Reno lifted the larger man over his shoulder with apparent ease.

"What? I'm a Turk," he shrugged with his unladen shoulder, "What did you expect?"

"Look! A distraction!" Zack shouted, pointing over Reno's shoulder before running for the exit. Reno spun around dramatically, a rather impressive feat considering he was "spinning" with Rude's weight as well.

"What! Where!" Reno overacted as he searched the area behind him. He then turned back around and did a halfhearted impression of being surprised and angry at Zack's flight.

"You can run, but you can't hide!" Reno put a little more effort into his last epic evil villain line "You can't run forever, Fair!" Cissnei laughed softly before following Zack. Even Cloud cracked a smile.

"Come back and fight you cowards," Reno called after them. Once the door closed his playfully sarcastic voice turned serious, unsure whether he spoke to either himself or his unconscious partner, "That was stupid. I'm worse than Tseng. They're probably going to kill me now... But maybe it was worth it."

In the street outside Seventh Heaven, they met up with Tifa, Barret, and Marlene.

"Where are the rest of them?" Zack asked

"I went upstairs first to get the girls. Jessie said she would go get Wedge and Biggs," Just then Barret caught sight of Reno exiting the building with Rude over his shoulder. He immediately lifted his gun-arm to fire.

"Stop!" Cissnei jumped in front of him, "He let us go. He isn't going to hurt us!" Barret was about to yell back when a loud humming drowned him out.

Jessie appeared in the doorway of Seventh Heaven and started to shout something that no one could hear as the helicopter flew over head.

"Jessie! Get out of there!" Tifa yelled frantically, but there was no way Jessie could hear her. Even if she had, it would have been too late. In one shot, the entire building before them lit up in flames.

"JESSIE!" Tifa screamed. She ran toward the burning building, but Cloud caught her and pulled her back.

"Let go of me!"

Just then, a second airstrike collapsed what was left of the chard structure. Tifa stopped fighting. She stared wide eyed, frozen for a moment, then sank into Cloud's arms.

"I'LL KILL YOU!" Barret shouted at the helicopter as is began to fade into the distance "I'LL KILL ALL OF YOU!"

Cloud watched the rubble burn. Fire. Bright, hot, destruction. Just like in Nibelheim.

"DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!" Barret screamed, trying to shoot at the helicopter as it shrank into the distance.

In an instant, their home was gone.

"Oh no," Tifa's eyes were still wide and blank, "No, no, no"

"We need to get out of here," Cloud said emotionlessly. His years with Shinra had taken his ability to be horrified. He would grieve later, but shock no longer registered. Zack nodded in reply.

"They'll be back," Zack's voice was tired, but still strong somehow, "Come on."

"Where will we go?" Marlene asked

"I don't know," Zack had forgotten there was a child with them. No one so young, so innocent, should have to witness this. He tried to sound confident when he answered, as though everything would be fine, "We'll come up with something. Cloud and I lived on the run for months. It's amazing how little you can really survive on. There is no better motivator than necessity."

"We could go back to the house I was staying in," Cissnei suggested, "Just for the night. Then we'll move on"

"You were right," It was Tifa's voice, but Zack had never heard her sound that broken, "We should have left."

"That's the second time they burned my home and killed my friends," She shook her head, "You'd think I would have learned."

"Teef," Cloud said, the icy cold in his voice had been replaced by a tone sad and weary, "I was there too. I worked for Shinra so I knew more about what they can do than you did. This wasn't your fault"

"But it was my idea to stay. I didn't want to give up having a home again, and I was willing to risk our lives to keep it. If I hadn't wanted to stay Brigs, Wedge, and Jessie would be alive right now."

"You don't know that," Cloud said, "Shinra might have found us anyway."

Tears welled up in her eyes, "I killed them," Tifa folded her hands in front of her mouth as she cried.

"It wasn't your fault," Zack told her, "If there's anyone to blame, it's me. I brought us here with an entire army chasing us"

"You thought we should leave too," Tifa shook her head. She took a deep breath, "Don't waste your energy trying to make me feel better. Let's just go."

"I'll kill them," Barret seemed to finally be coming out of shock, "I'll kill every last one of them."

"Not all of them," Cissnei contradicted, "Reno let us go"

"Zip it, Turk," Barret snapped, "It was your lot that found us" Cissnei opened her mouth to argue, but changed her mind. They walked silently for nearly half on hour.

"Daddy," Marlene said with a yawn, "I'm tired. Can we stop for a little?" Barret picked her up and carried her on his back. Soon, the sun started coming up.

"I love the sky," Zack said dreamily as the light cast red and orange hues across the horizon.

"What's so great about it," Barret muttered. It wasn't really a question, but Zack answered anyway.

"I didn't used to appreciate it much either, but after four years, you really start to miss it," Zack wandered if Angeal was watching from up there. He had seen Angeal the day he escaped from the reactor. Maybe he would turn up to help him again. Or maybe his mind was just more shattered than he thought and communing with the dead would become a regular delusion. But even if it did mean he was crazy, he still wished he could talk to his mentor. 'Do you see me, Angeal? Do you see how hard I tried? How far I've come?'

"We're here," Cissnei said, the dark circles under her eyes becoming apparent in the growing light. They trudged inside, not caring what amount of dirt or ash came with them.

"Daddy, are Biggs, Wedge, and Jessie gone?" Marlene asked, her innocent brown eyes focused on her adoptive father.

"Yeah," he said, putting his arms around her, "They're gone."

She climbed into his lap and curled up leaning on his chest, "Where did they go?"

"Somewhere a hell of a lot better than here," he didn't even notice he used a curse word in front of Marlene. Tifa sank into an armchair with a vacant expression, all of her usual warmth gone.

"Okay, I know everyone's tired, but we need to come up with a plan" Cissnei said, stifling a yawn with the back of her hand.

"I know you were a Turk and all," Zack said sleepily, "But even you can't think of a plan right now. Go to bed, Cis. We'll talk about it in the morning" Zack then caught sight of the sunlight streaming in the window, "Or late afternoon"

"Jessie and I were going to make pizza tomorrow night," Tifa said distantly, "Everyone likes pizza. We thought it would be a good way to bring everyone together. We were going to look for a good movie to watch, do something fun for once. I guess we should have done it yesterday instead."

Cloud silently placed a blanket that had been draped across the couch over her shoulder's. She didn't seem to notice, she just continued to stare into the distance.

"I'm sorry, Teef," he said, then headed upstairs to find a bedroom.

"Yeah," she said, finally responding to the world around her, "Me too."

* * *

><p>Cloud's dream courtesy of me watching "The Exorcist" at 2 in the morning. Awesome movie, but holy crap was that girl creepy (the spiderwalk!)<p> 


	10. Chapter 10

Sorry about the lack of chapter yesterday. I went with my mother down to help her take care of her parents (my grandfather has congestive heart failure and probably has until the end of the summer). There's no internet down there and even if there was I probably wouldn't have time to write with how much there is to do down there.

And a lengthy discussion about a gangster octopus on a ninja farm kept me temporarily distracted for a while as well (Yeah, I'm still confused about that one). But I'm back, so hello everyone and I hope you enjoy the chapter!

I have been told there needs to be more drama and sarcasm, so more there shall be. And what's more fun to write than angst and sarcasm?

* * *

><p><strong>COMMENT REPLIES<strong>

**cloti4life**, that is brilliant! I am going to do everything I can think of to work in Cloud taking someone out with a stapler! Or maybe add in some Black Bulter style combat AKA killing people with forks and serving trays.

**022**, I got occupational hazard from fullmetal alchemist. "Childbirth is not alchemy! Why must you relate everything to alchemy!" "I can't help it! It's an occupational hazard, it's just how it think"

Cloud _against _AVALANCHE. Brilliant twist! If you write it out, let me know. And I've found to internet is not nearly as dangerous as the previous generation would have us believe. There are trolls out there, but most people are alright, at least on Fanfic.

**Ledah13**, yes, Turks have an allergy to emotions. Symptoms include irritability, shortness of breath, and acute stupidity.

**Ninja & the Writer**, do you laugh when you talk about horror movies too? Not because it's funny, but because they make you freak out and for some reason smiling is a natural reaction to being terrified.

**OhJay**, I'm glad you liked Zack's umbrella battle ^_^ ledah has an idea for an entire scene discussing the naming of the gunblade that I really need to hurry up and write.

**HazzaTL3**, their map is ridiculous. And I can barely keep track of real geography, so remembering that of ff7 is a nightmare for me. And Reno totally does have marks under his eyes!

I think the comment responses are going to get as long as the chapter one of these days.

* * *

><p><em>It won't cure you, but it will slow the disease's progression and prevent you from spreading it to other people, so you don't have to withdraw from human contact.<em>

Cloud tilted his head back as he swallowed one of the small white pills the clinic physician had given him. So he wouldn't have to leave after all. If he could keep himself from spreading it to the rest of AVALANCHE, he could stay with them until he died. At least in theory. In truth, he would be gone long before that so they want them to have to see him die. After everything Zack went through to save him, it would be cruel to make him helplessly watch his best friend's slow, agonizing death, and Zack would end up taking care of him while also trying to fight Shirna just like when they escaped from Hojo. No, he wouldn't put Zack through that again. He would leave before it came to that.

The hardest part was finding the motivation to keep going. Was it really worth it to try to put himself back together if he would only be there another few months? Why fight so hard to live if he was just going to die no matter what he did? But then again, everyone lived with that. Everyone dies eventually. What exactly did propel the human race forward, anyway?

"Cloud Strife," Zack said through the door, "open up."

"What?" Cloud asked once he got the slightly rusted latch to cooperate.

"This is an intervention. Your hair is out of control. Several flocks of chocobos were seen following you and it's pointiness has been deemed a hazard to public society as well as some low flying birds. It's time; we're taking you to a barber."

"You're one to talk, porcupine," Cloud retorted, "So what's actually going on?"

"Some announcement is coming on the news about Shinra. I'm not sure what happened yet, but you might want to come down... Are you alright?"

"Yeah!" the moment it left his mouth, he knew he had overcompensated. It sounded too forceful and cheerful to be natural for him, especially after what had transpired the previous night.

"What is it?" Zack asked, "You look pale. Do you feel sick?"

"I'm fine," Cloud searched for a cover. Instead of lying, he could just tell a different truth. Something that really was on his mind, "It's just, I really liked them. Biggs, Wedge, and Jessie I mean. I know we should be used to it by now, but..."

"Death isn't something you ever completely get used to. At least I didn't. I think the day when death stops effecting you at all is the day you've given up on life," Zack told him.

"But what if I have?" he ignored his better judgment and let the words he'd long withheld escape, "I'm so sick of the living like this. Running and fighting and knowing that if we ever stop we die. And even if we do everything right, we still might not make it! I just want it to end."

"I know," in that moment, he looked far too old to be Zack. He was 23, but with the eyes of a man much older, "So do I."

Cloud stood awkwardly staring at his feet, just as unsure of how to put his thoughts into words as he was as the shy teenager Zack met on the mountain, "I don't want to die, Zack."

"Me neither, buddy," he said gently, then added, "But I'm becoming less strongly opposed to it all the time. There are some people up there I'd like to see again."

"Do you think there's an afterlife?" Cloud asked.

"Of course. Life sucks way too badly for this to be all there is," Zack said, "I'll be downstairs. Let me know if you need anything."

His resolve was restored, at least for the time being. He would keep moving forward for Zack and Tifa as long as he could, and accept death when it came.

* * *

><p>"Father!" she screamed as she sprinted past dozens of burning buildings, but none of them registered. There was only one thing that mattered. "Father!" Then she saw him lying in the grass and knelt down at his side.<p>

"Tifa," he whispered. "Run" his eyes went dark.

"Father!" she cried, "Father, please don't leave me" But she knew he was gone. And she knew who was responsible.

"Sephiroth," she said, hate dripping from every syllable. She ran into the reactor where she knew he would be. Standing in front of the tank containing Jenova was..

"Jessie?" Tifa froze. She didn't understand. How could Jessie be here? And where was Sephiroth?

"What are you doing here?" Tifa asked

"You can't stop it, Tifa," Jessie's voice was distant and monotone. Her eyes were vacant glass orbs. Fire began to spring up around her. The fire around Jessie grew until Tifa could feel the heat burning her from across the reactor. Jessie's empty eyes stared at her through the flames.

"You can't stop the fire, Tifa. It will consume you, just like everything else"

The fire was everywhere. All around her the flames grew closer. She spun around looking for somewhere, anywhere to run to, but the fire had her surrounded. She couldn't escape it.. She would burn with the rest of Nibelhiem.

"It's all because of you," Jessie's eyes bore into her, "You killed us. You're selfishness killed us.

Murderer."

"No, I didn't mean-"

"Murderer!" Jessie shrieked, "You earned this. You deserve to burn here! Burn with your victims!"

"I never meant to-"

"MURDERER!"

.

"Tifa"

Her eyes snapped open. The fire was gone. Now there were only white walls and bedroom furnishings.

"You okay?" Cloud asked. Tifa exhaled in relief. She had never been happier to see someone in her life.

"I'm fine," Tifa said forcing a quick smile. She jumped out of bed brushing past Cloud, doing her best to make it look like there was a skip in her step. She couldn't let him see the broken little girl behind the mask, wishing she could go back to when her mother was still there to comfort her and her father was there to protect her. Those long lost days when she felt safe.

"So what's on the agenda for today?" she asked when she had composed herself enough to make sure no hints of her inner turmoil were noticeable in her voice. Cloud had enough on his mind without worrying about what was on her's

"We have to come up with a plan"

"A plan for what?" Tifa turned around, feeling she had now done a thorough job of erasing the fear from her eyes.

"I don't know," Cloud thought for a moment, "I guess how we are going to avoid being caught by Shinra. Basically a plan of how to not die."

"Are we still going to try to fight Shinra to save the planet?"

Cloud shrugged, "You're going to have to ask Zack or Barret"

"They're already up?" Tifa's eyes widened. Zack and Barret both slept in like teenagers, "I'm the last one?"

Tifa was always, _always _the first one up in the morning. Even when she was sick, she was still awake before everyone else. And now she was last? She had been more shaken than she thought.

"Zack woke up weirdly early this morning," Cloud said, clearly a bit confused by Tifa's strong reaction, "I know Zack's not exactly a morning person. Actually, he's a royal pain to kick out of bed, but he got up early today. Barret and Cissnei have been up for about half and hour... and I didn't sleep"

Due to her effort to seem 'alright' she hadn't noticed how tired Cloud looked, but now the dark circles under his eyes seemed obvious.

"Not at all?"

"Maybe a few minutes," Cloud shifted uncomfortably, "We should go down and see what's going on."

"Is something wrong?" Tifa asked. Cloud bit his lip, unsure of what to say.

"Things are bad, Teef"

"What happened?" she was beyond worried. If Cloud thought things were bad, it must be a nightmare.

"I'll just have to show you," he lead her downstairs where she heard Zack, Barret, and Cissnei arguing. The three of them disagreeing wasn't anything unusual, but they didn't normally sound this stressed.

"I think we should find somewhere safe and lay low for a while. Maybe we can just wait it out," Cissnei's voice was low, but the tension remained obvious.

"Wait for it to be over?" the frustration in Barret's voice was verging on pure outrage, "And when will that be? Months? Years? We can't just sit here and do nothing!"

"For once, I agree with Barret," Zack was every bit as edgy as the other two, "We need to keep our cover, but I don't think this is something that will just blow over."

"We're the most wanted people in the world right now," Cissnei argued, "You and Cloud aren't just fugitives that Shinra is trying to keep quiet anymore. When you got to Midgar, they didn't send soldiers into the city after you because they were trying not to attract too much attention. They don't have to be careful anymore." It was the first time Tifa had heard Cissnei sound scared.

"So what if they ain't got to be careful. I'd prefer a straight fight anyway," Barret stopped when he saw Tifa.

"Hey, Teef. Have ya heard the news?"

"What happened?" Tifa repeated the question, unsure if she wanted to know the answer. Cissnei picked up the television remote and clicked off the mute.

"This happened"

On the screen were pictures of them. Zack, Cloud, and Cissnei were all shown in photos taken while they worked for Shinra. They had a blurry picture of Barret running and Tifa's high school picture from her freshman year. She could only guess at how they had gotten her school picture, but it went on the ever growing list of thing Shinra had done that she just didn't want to know about. The camera zoomed in on Barret and Tifa.

"The large black man and the young dark haired woman belong to a terrorist group known as AVALANCHE," said the news anchor. The screen then changed to show Zack and Cloud, "They are believed to be housing these two fugitives who attempted to kill the war hero Sephiroth in a small town called Nibelheim five years ago."

"What?" Tifa couldn't say anything else. Her voice had been stolen by disbelief.

"My words exactly," Zack said dejected, "Keep watching. It gets better"

The television changed to a news reporter standing with the man who had plagued her dreams for the past five years.

"I am here with First Class SOLDIER, Sephiroth, who has reappeared after going missing five years ago."

"No," Tifa whispered. She didn't hear the reporter's words anymore. Sephiroth. Alive. It couldn't be. Her hearing returned in time for the reporter's first question.

"What happened that day?"

* * *

><p>Cloud's mind was numb. There was no one left to go wake up. No more excuses or distractions to avoid the truth. Sephiroth was alive.<p>

He couldn't breath. Everything he had kept buried beneath his calm facade threatened to break through the mask.

"I had just arrived at the reactor with my comrades Zack Fair and Cloud Strife," it was more terrifying to hear him speak. His image could be faked, but his speech proved that he was real.

"We were all sent there on a mission to investigate a break in the mako reactor. I hadn't known Strife for very long, but he seemed to be a promising young soldier. In addition to that, Zack was quite fond of him, and Zack was a trusted friend." Had Cloud not seen for himself the flames and slaughter in Nibelheim, he would have believed the silver haired soldier.

"But Zackary had never been the same since the death of his good friend and mentor, Angeal. Zack used this new friend, Cloud Strife, to replace Angeal, but before he could become a replacement he had to become a SOLDIER. Strife had talent, his natural ability went far beyond his years. There was only one thing standing in the way of him moving up to SOLDIER. Me"

Cloud stole a glance at Zack. He looked just as miserable as Cloud felt.

"Strife was equally ambitious, and together they sought to be rid of me by any means necessary."

"And by what means did they attempt, and for a while succeed, to get rid of you?" The reporter asked.

"I was inspecting the reactor when I was attacked from behind and fell into the lifestream. I never saw which one of them did it. I'm hoping it was Strife, for I didn't know him as well, but it could easily have been Zack. I will never know. Either way, it was quite a shock."

"What would you do if you ran into either of them again?"

"Kill them," Sephiroth answered bluntly. His eyes flickered with the insanity they had held the last time he had seen him. The reporter took an unconscious step back. It took a moment for Sephiroth to notice the unease surrounding him.

"It's only logical," he continued, "It would be kinder to end there lives quickly the moment I saw them, before the trial after which they would most certainly be sentenced to death."

Cloud had heard enough. It wasn't just Shinra anymore. The whole world was against them.

"Any plans on how we're going to survive this one?" he asked Zack.

"You know me. I'll wing it," Zack was attempting to hide his apprehension, but failing miserably.

"We can't wing this," Cissnei said, her whole body ridged, "If we are going to get out of this alive, we need information."

"And how do you plan on getting that?" Zack shot back.

"... No idea" The group fell silent, each one lost in their own thoughts.

"Why don't we just keep doing what we're doing?" Barret said. Having no emotional ties to the news, he viewed Sephiroth's return in a far less complex light, "He's just another Shinra nutjob. We keep blowin' up reactors and we'll deal with Sephir-whatever when we meet him."

"Yeah, because it worked out _so_ well the last time," Cissnei said bitterly, but she didn't bring up that she turned out to be right in their last argument, probably for Tifa's sake Cloud thought.

"Sephiroth isn't just 'another Shinra nutjob'," Zack interjected, "I doubt he's even really on Shinra's side, and he's just as skilled as he is insane."

"What really did happen at Nibelheim anyway?" Barret asked.

"I've told you before," Tifa replied, "Sephiroth went crazy and burned everything to the ground."

"I know, but then what? How did he really disappear?"

"It's actually pretty close to what he said," Cloud answered, "I threw him into the lifestream. He just left out the part where he hurt Tifa, beat Zack unconsciousness, and stabbed me"

"Sound's like a nice guy," Barret said with raised eyebrows, "Probably good with kids. Why exactly did he do all this?"

Cloud zoned out while Zack briefly explained Sephiroth's origin and connection with Jenova. The world thought Sephiroth was a hero again. Understandable. He had once believed the same thing. The truth was so well obscured in Shinra one could say black was white and it would be accepted as fact. Sephiroth represented every naive dream he had once had that went up in flames with Nibelhiem. He was the cause of everything they'd endured and the disastrous situation they were in now. The only people left on his side were the ones in this room. He was so tired of running, but now everyone was hunting them. Would the nightmare never end?

He didn't notice he was hyperventilating until he started to get lightheaded. Then the flashes started again. Fire, green, needles, and Sephiroth.

_"Kill them," _a voice screamed in his head as loudly as though it were a physical sound,_ "Kill them all!"_

He sprinted up the stairs to the room he and Zack shared and slammed the door shut. The moment the rusty latch to lock, he sank to the floor. The panic attacks could be explained by the mako poisoning, but voices telling him to kill people was something else entirely. Even more terrifying, not only had he heard the command, but for a split second, intended to obey it. What was wrong with him? Was he crazy? How could he think something like that if he wasn't?

He's just started to recover, and now Jessie, Wedge, and Biggs were dead, Sephiroth was alive, and he was going out of his mind. He kicked the nearest piece of furniture, a desk of some sort, in frustration. A vase that had been sitting on top of it shattered across the floor in a thousand pieces.

He was surprised Zack hadn't followed him up yet. Maybe he attributed his flight to the strictly psychological factor of Sephiroth's return and decided it was best to leave him alone for a while.

* * *

><p>"Tseng, what the hell is going one?" Reno demanded, "Why are we supposed to take the weird guy with the silver hair to Sector 7, why are there a bunch of Shinra grunts in my helicopter, where's Rude, and isn't the guy with the ridiculous sword supposed to be dead anyway?"<p>

"I have something to ask you first," Tseng said icily, "And you said I'm mentally impaired. What were you thinking?"

"If anyone should be ticked, it's Rude and I!" Reno countered, "They didn't know we were out of the building yet when they blew the whole place up! If I didn't disobey orders, we'd both be dead right now."

"No, I meant what were you thinking coming back? They know we're lying to the rest of the company so that was their attempt to get rid of you and make it look like an accident. Why are you still here?"

"I'm a Turk. Where else am I supposed to go?" Reno shrugged, "Are you going to answer the rest of my questions or not?"

Tseng sighed, "Their base of operations was destroyed, but AVALANCHE remains. It could be ages before Shinra relocates them, so desperate measures call for the destruction of the entire sector. Shinra has been given a great opportunity. Sephiroth, although insane, is still viewed as a charismatic hero. I'm hoping the President isn't so naive as to believe he can control this man or bend him to his will in any way, but Sephiroth may have him convinced that he really is on Shinra's side," Tseng thought for a moment.

"Although if the President is sending him to Sector 7, odds are he knows he can't trust this man and intends to get rid of him there. I don't know what Sephiroth's true motives are, but I can guarantee they have nothing to do with the well being of Shinra company. He's going to Sector 7 tomorrow because he's been told Shinra is going to threaten to blow up the support pillar and obliterate the entire Sector to draw out AVALANCHE, when the true intention is to actually destroy the place."

"Uh.. I'm not much of a politician, but doesn't the general public typically frown upon genocide? And that still doesn't explain why Sephiroth is complying with this."

"Anything that happens will be blamed on AVALANCHE. It's even easier to put the blame on them now since they're already viewed as criminals who attempted to kill a celebrated hero. Sephiroth enjoys power. My best guess is he's testing the waters to see if Shinra will be useful to him or if it would be more efficient to go solo," Tseng momentarily lost himself in deep contemplation.

"Does it hurt to think that hard?" Reno asked. Tseng ignored him.

"I don't know what exactly he's after, but he was always mission oriented. There must be something he wants. Why he's still alive, I have no idea. Oh, and the helicopter isn't yours to begin with. It belongs to the company; they can use it as they wish. Anymore questions?"

"Sure, plenty. Why is the sky blue, why is the grass green, why is a raven like a writing desk, and why does it look like it damages your soul to be remotely happy? If you'll allow me to go get my list, I have plenty more."

"Blue light is scattered by the atmosphere at a downward angle and the other colors cannot be seen until sunset, chlorophyll, no one knows, and because I work with you."

"You missed one"

"What?"

"Where's Rude?"

"Doing what he's supposed to be doing and getting ready for his next mission. Now go do something productive you unremitting source of incessant aggravation."

* * *

><p>Only in hide sight did Zack realized that due to the numerous possible weapons present, the kitchen is not an ideal arena for a political debate.<p>

"Why do you insist on dying?" Cissnei shouted angrily across the room at Barret as she chopped an onion a bit more aggressively than was probably necessary.

"Why are you determined to be completely useless and let the planet die!" Barret retorted as he slammed the refrigerator door shut.

"Why are both of you so loud?" Zack interjected irritably, unconsciously drumming his fingers on the table. He kept his eyes locked on the window, trying to ignore the fight surrounding him, until Cloud set a plate down in front of him.

"Zack, you get the anti-conformist plate," he commented referring to the single blue plate contrasting all of the other white ones, "It's random weirdness suits you."

"It's not a weird as you having two glasses," Zack replied, grateful for the temporary distraction, "You can't do that."

"The milk one is almost empty, and I'm putting water in the next because there isn't much milk left in the pitcher," Cloud defended his extra glass, "Unless you're pouring the same thing back in, you get a new glass."

"No you don't. You use the same one so you don't have to wash as many dishes."

"What's so terrible about washing two glasses?"

"You just can't!" Zack exclaimed, "The universe will explode! The very fabric of space and time will begin the unravel and initiate the end of life as we know it!"

"'The end of life as we know it'," Cloud repeated, the playfulness gone from his voice, "Getting kind of used to that one, aren't we, Zack?"

Suddenly, the argument behind them went silent. Zack turned around to see a fork imbedded in the wall behind Barret's head.

As a shuriken wielding Turk, there was no way Cissnei would ever have accidentally hit him, but on principle, throwing a fork at someone's head is not the recommended way to solve your differences.

"WHAT WAS THAT!" Barret shouted, "I disagree wit' cha, so ya try to kill me?"

"Oh, relax," Cissnei went back to cutting vegetables, "I never miss. At least not at this distance."

"Oh, so 'at makes it okay?" Barret asked angrily, "If I decide to shoot a hole in that cabinet there beside ya, is 'at fine too?"

"No, because the gunshot could draw attention to this building and possibly get us discovered"

"Listen Turk, you may know how things work at Shinra, but out here in the real world, we have somethin' called 'Rules of conduct'"

"Good for you," Cissnei still hadn't turned around, only angering Barret more, "I'll have it printed on a t-shirt for you."

"You're just askin' for an-!"

"Where's Tifa?" Cloud interrupted.

Everyone fell silent. Cissnei spun around in surprise.

"You mean she's not back yet?" she glanced up at the clock, "We had to buy all new food since we lost everything at Seventh. We got what we could close by, but in the end Tifa had to go to the main market anyway. She should have been back here an hour ago."

Zack messaged his temples trying to clear his already overloaded mind, "Then I guess we'd better go find her"


	11. Chapter 11

Last chapter was the angst, here is the sarcasm. ...Among other things.

I'll work on Barret's dialect. I've had proper grammar drilled into my head by my mother since the day I left the womb, so it's almost painful for me to write like that, but I'll fix it. (I did go back and revise the last chapter).

Comments!

**Cloti4life**, yeah, I'm having a bit of trouble figuring out where I can bring in some stapler action, but it's still a possibility. Stop sign weapon = win. I really want to throw in a butler outfit now, but I will restrain myself as if would have nothing to do with the plot.

**022**, if your schedule is too busy for you to write, I guess I should be greatly honored that you take the time to read my story. Yeah, I kind of knew I was failing with the dialect. I'm not sure if I genuinely forgot to change it, or if I was just lazy and blocked it from my consciousness. And thank you!

**Ledah13**, for some reason I find psychos who can easily appear sane far more terrifying, and that's mostly that spawned Sephy's temporary Shinra cooperation. I'm think it'd be Sephiroth, but maybe I'll throw in some Jenova too. They're pretty close together on the creepy scale. I still don't have the naming in! Grrr. Story, be more mailable!

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Thank you too everyone for reviewing!

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This chapter doesn't advance the plot a great deal, but I much enjoyed writing it. You'll see why shortly.

* * *

><p>"Have you seen a young woman with long dark hair and reddish-brown eyes?" Zack had asked the question so many times the meaning of the words hardly registered anymore.<p>

"Can't say that I have," said the man at the counter.

"Alright, thank you for your time," Zack left the pharmacy and moved onto the grocery store.

"Have you seen a young woman with long dark hair and reddish-brown eyes?"

"Yeah, she was here," he answered.

"Really!" Zack exclaimed, straightening up from his dejected poster, "When? Where did she go?"

"I don't know. She was here about an hour and a half ago, but I didn't see where she went after that."

Zack let out an exasperated sigh and hung his head in defeat, "I just can't win today, can I?" Then he returned to formality, "Thank you for your time."

He left the store and turned to the first person on the street, "Have you seen a young- Oh, hi Cloud. Any luck?"

"No," he said, equally depressed, "I don't know where she possibly could have gone."

"Excuse me," said a thin male voice from behind them, "Are you looking for that pretty girl with the reddish eyes?"

They turned around to see a man sitting on the street, most likely homeless from the condition of his clothing.

"Yes!" Zack replied ecstatically, "Have you seen her?"

"Yeah, she's the last girl Corneo picked up."

"Corneo," Zack froze, "You mean Don Corneo?"

"That's the one."

"Just when I thought this couldn't get worse," Zack scratched the back of his head, "Well at least we know where she is. Thanks for the help."

"What's so bad about Don Corneo?" Cloud asked.

"You'll see when we get there," he answered, "Let's just find the others and get to Corleone's."

* * *

><p>"Ouch!" Aerith stumbled over yet another mass of unknown junk as she made her way out of the dark laboratory, "I hate Shinra!"<p>

"That makes two of us," answered a gruff voice.

Aerith froze. She thought this place was empty. Her eyes searched for the source of the voice, but her eyes had not yet adjusted to the darkness. The only light in the hallway was what still reached her from the lab. It was enough to make out a tall, thin form rising out of the ruble she had just kicked over.

"Who are you?" Aerith demanded into the darkness. A moment later, a man with a red coat and long, dark hair emerged.

"That's a good question," the light glinted off his bright red eyes.

"What do you mean?" Aerith asked, "You don't know your own name?"

"Oh, I know my name. My name is Vincent. I simply no longer recognize the significance of being named Vincent when there is no one left to call me by it. In addition, I hardly believe 'Who are you?' and 'What is your name?' to be the same question"

"Perhaps not," Aerith said, massaging her foot that hit what ever the darkness concealed, "What was that?"

"A coffin"

"Whose?"

"Mine"

Aerith decided that for the moment, maybe it was best not to ask, so she raised a different inquiry, "What are you doing in here?"

"I've slept here for years," Vincent answered, "I never thought anyone would come to this place again."

"Why are you here?"

"I could ask you the same thing"

"I- " Aerith hesitated, "I'm looking for someone. Someone I lost a long time ago." Perfect, she mentally congratulated herself. Just vague enough not to endanger anyone, but still true enough to sound genuine.

"I'm here because of someone I lost as well," Vincent replied, "But there is no hope of bringing her back, only of maybe earning a bit of her forgiveness."

"You can't live for the dead," Aerith told him, "If it was someone you loved and she cared about you, I doubt she would want you to waste away in a place like this. Make it up to her by doing something good with your life. And maybe even be happy a bit along the way."

"You're an interesting girl," Vincent said, "Perhaps action could be a form of atonement as well as punishment. However, I lack the talent for good deeds, only sins."

"Sins," Aerith repeated, "Well, there are plenty of those haunting this place. I want peace, but Hojo is one man I wouldn't mind seeing die."

"You're going after Hojo?" Vincent asked, with sudden new interest.

"I'm not sure exactly where this path will take me, but it could come up"

"That changes everything," Vincent lifted a large gun from his coffin, "I'll accompany you until you're safely out of Nibelheim."

* * *

><p>"Alright," Barret asked just after Zack finished filling him and Cissnei in on the situation, "So how ya plannin' to get in?<p>

"We haven't really got that far," Zack admitted, "They won't let men in, so we'll have to find some kind of stealthy solution."

"Or you could just let me go in," Cissnei said.

"Never in a million year am I letting you go in there by yourself," Zack replied.

"Why not?" she contended, "I'm a Turk. I've handled kidnappings, assassinations, and every other stealth mission in the book. You think I can't handle a creepy womanizer?"

"It's not that, it's just-"

"Just what? I'll be fine."

"Zack's right," Cloud cut in, "You can't go in a place like that on your own."

"Well, then what do you think we should do?" Cissnei asked, "Just leave Tifa in there? You want to rescue her don't you?"

"Yes, but.." Zack trailed off, unable to find an argument that sounded convincing, "There has to be some other way. -What's so funny?"

"There is one thing," Cissnei said stifling a laugh, "They only let girls in. If you won't let me go by myself, one of you could join me... as a girl"

"WHAT?" Zack and Cloud shouted in unison.

"You could pull it off. You two are almost pretty as it is," she teased, "I'm serious, it could work. So, any volunteers?"

Zack groaned, "I guess if someone has to do it, and it's definitely not going to be Barret, that means me"

Cissnei thought for a moment, studying them both, "I'm not sure. You're pretty tall to be a girl. And you have those scars on your left cheek that would be pretty hard to cover up. I think Cloud could probably pull it off better."

Due to his chronic social awkwardness, Zack had many times seen Cloud look uncomfortable. This, however, trumped them all.

"You've got to be kidding"

"Not at all," Cissnei's elation had faded at the prospect of Cloud being stuck as a woman instead of Zack, but she still looked slightly amused.

"I guess it's settled then. Come along, Miss Cloud," Zack had found his sense of humor now that he was no longer part of the dress up, "We'll find you something pretty."

Cloud opened his mouth to protest, but was dragged away by Zack and Cissnei before he could get the words out. Soon they were in a dress shop, which Barret refused to even enter, and Cloud was doing all he could to sink away into a corner and disappear.

"How about this one?" Cissnei held up a blue dress that would fully cover him from just below his chin to his ankles, crisscrossed with brown leather straps, "I think the more cloth there is covering him, the better."

"Sure," Zack had no idea what he was doing, but he would be there to watch, and laugh, at every minute of Cloud's transformation.

"Blue would look good on you," she commented, "It matches your eyes."

"Spectacular," Cloud responded dryly.

"Well, go ahead and try it on, Spiky," Zack ushered him toward a changing room. A few minutes later, Cloud's muffled voice was shouting through the door.

"Cissnei! How do you-! Ouch! Cissnei!"

They opened the door to find Cloud more tangled in the piece of clothing than either of them had previously thought possible. When Zack had finally gotten his raving laughter under control, he stepped forward to help.

"How about I help him straighten it out, then you give us instruction?" Zack suggested. Cissnei nodded in agreement and turned away. Once Cloud could breath again, his humiliation returned.

"I can get it"

"Yeah, sure you can"

"No, it's fine Zack, I got it"

"Ah, don't be embarrassed," Zack told him, "How do you think you got into a first class SOLDIER uniform? You may not remember it, but I've actually done this before."

"Not into a dress!"

"Yeah, that part's new," he stepped back, "Are these bandages?"

"Uh.. yeah," he answered, "I scuffed up my shoulder pretty badly while Cissnei and I were fighting Rude. I cleaned it out and everything, so it's fine. It's not a big deal."

Zack was still a bit suspicious, but he let it go, "Cissnei, how do you close this?"

"If he has it on, I can zip it up and do the weird clasp thing at the top myself."

Zack gave her the okay to come in and walked behind Cloud to save Zack from any more fumbling with the tiny clip. She paused, noticing a few of the deep scars that were now exposed, but said nothing.

"Is everything alright?" Cloud asked nervously.

"Yeah," she began the meticulous job of lining up the minute hook, "It's just really, _really_ small. I'm sorry I picked such a complicated outfit for you."

"I know you said Cloud is the best to pull this off," Zack started slowly, "But now that it comes down to it..."

"After all that, you choose now to have second thoughts?" Cloud accused.

"I know, I know," Zack scratched the back of his head, "But I really don't like the idea of you two going in there alone."

"First it was Cissnei, now it's me _and _Cissnei," Cloud was clearly not in the best of moods, "Make up your mind, mother hen"

"Someone has to go," Cissnei added, "You're not going to 'like' anyone going, but there's no avoiding it." Then Cissnei's eyes lit up, "...Unless you want to come with us."

What was more important: maintaining his pride and masculinity, or making sure Cloud and Cissnei were alright? Finally, the overly protective side of him won out.

"Alright," he sighed, "Take it away Ciss."

It was rare that Cissnei dropped her mission focused attitude; after all, she had been taught that the world was against her since childhood. But now she grinned deviously, almost skipping as she bounded away to search for the most embarrassing thing she could force Zack into.

"The things I do for you," he said to Cloud, dreading Cissnei's return, "I just hope she doesn't try to make me where pink. It would ruin how much I think it looks good on Aerith"

"Aerith is the girl you met in the slums, right?" Cloud said.

Zack nodded, "I can only imagine what she'd say if she were here to see this"

Whatever Zack had been imagining Cissnei would come back with, this was worse. It was the frilliest thing he had ever seen; most women would probably be embarrassed to wear it.

"You can't be serious"

"It's a logical choice," Cissnei explained, "It will hide your shape and make you look less manly."

"Yeah, because wearing a dress doesn't do that enough already"

"Suck it up, soldier," she threw it too him, "I know you hate sleeves, but no girl has arms like that, so they're kind of required. I did the same thing to Cloud, so no complaining."

"You didn't make him where ruffles!"

"Yeah, but he's not a fun to mess with as you are"

"Your evil," he entered the dressing room, trying not think about what Barret would say when they got outside.

"Well, Angeal," he mused, "This time, I actually hope you _aren't_ watching. Whenever I get up there, you're never going to let me live this down."

When he was finished fighting with the fabric from hell, he stepped outside to see Cissnei in a simple, but stunning black dress. She looked fantastic, but after what she had just put him in, there was no way he was going to give her a compliment of any kind.

"Do you hate colors?"

"No, I've just always worn black," she shrugged, "It's what I'm used to. Except usually in the form of a suit. I hate dresses almost as much as you two do."

Cissnei handed wigs to both of them, then sent them to a mirror. Zack almost didn't want to know, but curiosity forced him to look anyway. The worst part: he actually did look somewhat good as a woman.

"Cloud," he said, "Would you do me a favor? Please kill me. Quickly is preferable."

"How's double suicide sound?" he replied. Cissnei simply stood behind them and laughed until she was wheezing.

It only got worse when they went outside.

"Ya feel like bein' pretty too, Fair?" Barret asked.

"Shut up," Zack snapped miserably.

When they got back to Corneo's, he was actually somewhat glad that he and Cloud could pull off femininity relatively well.

"Come right in," the man at the doorway told them. Zack had done some weird things, but this was by far the most awkward. They were guided down a flight of stairs where they were reunited with none other than Tifa.

"Tifa!" Cissnei ran to her instantly, "You're alright!"

"I'm fine. How did you find me?"

"Zack found out where you were and he, Cloud and I came to get you," she gestured to the other two.

"You don't mean..." she looked closely at the other two, "That's-"

"Yup," Cissnei answered before Tifa even had to finish the question.

She laughed almost as hard a Cissnei did, then chocked out, "You look lovely"

"Hey, we did this for you," Zack told her.

"What are doing down here?" an angry looking man yelled as he came down the stairs, "Women these days. Always running off. Three of you this way."

"But there's four of us," Tifa answered.

"Well then... you... you" he pointed first at Tifa, then Cissnei, "and... you"

Cloud's eyes widened in horror, but he remained silent.

"Gentlemen prefer blondes," Zack smirked. Cloud glared at him, then turned to follow the others.

* * *

><p>I'm trying not to add Zack and copy scenes from the original because that would get kind of boring, but I just couldn't resist putting Miss Cloud in here. Especially after wondering many times "I wonder what Zack would think if he were around to see this?"<p>

Whatever anyone says, this was incredibly fun to write. (oodball, bring back any memories? ;) ) I don't mean to replace Aerith with Cissnei, but there was just no way I could work it out for her to be there.

I think I may have to slow down to posting every other day. Insomnia gives me a good chunk of the night to write, but every day is still a bit much. I'll do daily when I can, but every other day is still pretty fast, don't you think?

Thanks you reading!

Reviews are like Christmas in August!


	12. Chapter 12

I know I'm late, and it's a bit short, but I really couldn t help it! My laptop died last night and I had to replace the battery.

Hope it's worth the wait!

.

Google, you have failed me! I looked up how to spell Don's name, and that's what I got. Blarg. If you can't trust Google, who can you trust? Answer: Wikipedia!

I should probably stop putting so much faith in the internet, but it's been my guide through many a perilous times.

And yeah, I know Cloud wore purple, but I thought Cissnei may have different tastes than Aerith. I guess if I'm going to all but copy a scene, I should keep the details the same then.

I hopefully I'll start to be a _little_ more accurate though since I have just begun watching a walkthrough of the original game. All 40 HOURS of it. But it's actually kind of fun to watch the story unfold chronologically instead of in chunks and then have the blanks filled in by Google (which is proving to be more unreliable all the time).

* * *

><p>"I've done some pretty terrible jobs.." Cloud started. Cissnei responded lightly.<p>

"I don't know if you'll take this as an insult or a compliment, but you make this work much better than Zack does. Zack is just too... Zack," no other explanatory words were needed, "I'm surprised they even let him in."

"Um... thanks. I guess"

"You should take it as a good thing. You've done a better job of rescuing Tifa," Cissnei told him, then said to Tifa, "I think this should be the new ultimate test of love. Would you crossdress for me?"

Tifa laughed, but Cloud detected a bit of nervousness in it. It wasn't hard to guess why. Cissnei had just unintentionally implied that he loved Tifa. Did he love her? Of course he did, but romantically or platonically? Not that it matter now. Developing a relationship of any kind would only make things worse.

They were lined up in front a a heavy balding man who watched each of them longingly as they enter.

"Let me look at ya," he first looked over Tifa who fidgeted anxiously as the pig of a man studied her. Then he moved onto Cissnei who stood stiffly and calmly with a slightly less pleasant expression than Tifa. Last he came to Cloud who avoided eye contact and begged Gaia for this to end.

"This one!" Corneo pointed at him.

As if the situation wasn't awkward enough...

"Bring her back to me!" he ordered one of his men as he entered the next room. Cloud could only think of how utterly absurd the entire scene was as he was guided to the room. To his horror, it was a bedroom.

"Come to daddy"

Cloud fought back the urge to hurl. He gained new found admiration for Tifa dealing with men like this almost every day. What could he do to stall? Hard to get was an acceptable trait, right? Or he could be really shy.

"I-I'm not sure," he stuttered. He was unintentionally playing the "shy and innocent" card perfectly, so he would go with it, "I'm n-not used to this."

"Well, there's a first time for everything," Corneo leaned a little closer to him. What should he do? He was NOT going to kiss this man. He searched his peripherals for something, anything, that could be used as a weapon. He grabbed the first thing he saw; it was a bit unorthodox, but it would work. He slammed the open side of the stapler into Corneo's head. The man reeled back in pain, clutching his now bleeding forehead.

"You bitch!" he raged and started for Cloud.

Then he was saved. Zack came flying through the door, Cissnei and Tifa just behind him.

"It's about time!" he shouted at them, then let out a huge sigh of relief.

"Sorry we're a bit late," Zack replied.

"Hey, how did you get to be back in your normal clothes?" Cloud accused.

"Dresses have a lot of space in them," Zack shrugged, "And there was no more reason for me to stay like that, so I switched back."

"Cheater," Cloud fumed.

"Sorry Cloud," Zack grinned, "I guess I'm just not a pretty as you."

"Shut up," Cloud ripped off the wig, still pouting.

"So what did you.." he looked from the gash in Corneo's head to the office supply in Cloud's hand, "A stapler?"

"Well, it worked, didn't it?"

"Damn," Zack muttered, "I think you may have just beat me and my umbrella for most innovative weapon." Then he turned to the girls.

"So what do we do with this guy? Just leave him?"

"No," Tifa answered, "He has information on Shinra."

She marched up to the repulsive man on the bed and placed her foot on it threateningly, "Talk. What do you know?"

"I can't tell you that!" he cried in terror, "They'll kill me!"

"It's talk or die," Zack told him matter-of-factly pointing a knife at the Corneo's throat, "I was a first Class SOLDIER. I've killed before and I _will_ kill again."

Cloud had never seen Zack be menacing before, but he was frighteningly good at it.

"Where did you get that?" Tifa asked.

"Like I said, dresses have a lot of room in them"

"Alright!" Corneo cried, "Shinra's going to drop the plate on Sector 7!"

Zack was momentarily stunned, then asked, "Why? What could they possibly gain from killing an entire community of innocent people?"

"They're after a group called AVALANCHE," Corneo tried unsuccessfully to slide away from Zack's blade, "They said they lost them after their hideout was destroyed and the only option left was to take out the whole Sector."

AVALANCHE turned to face one another. And entire community was about to die because of them.

"When!" Zack shouted at Corneo.

"I don't know!" he shrank away, "An hour, maybe!"

Zack lowered the knife, "Let's go"

Before Zack could react, Corneo reach a button beside his bed. The floor opened up and Cloud, Cissnei, and Tifa fell through.

"So what are you gonna do?" Corneo asked Zack, the only one who hadn't been on the platform, "Stay here and threaten me some more, or go after them?"

Zack glared at him, "I hope you rot in hell," then he jump into the darkness below.

* * *

><p>"You haven't reported in that Cissnei's with AVALANCHE yet, have you?" Tseng asked Reno.<p>

"How'd ya know?"

"We're in luck. Don Corneo was just disposed of for divulging information about the plate drop to a certain terrorist group, so they know AVALANCHE will be at the pillar. The explosive they're planning to use is one that only a Turk knows how to disarm, so they must not know that Cissnei and AVALANCHE have met up."

"I'm surprised they still trust us enough to use a bomb only we know how to disarm"

"As am I," Tseng agreed, "I'm wondering if this is working out a little too well for us"

"Guess we got lucky. Don't question it, just enjoy it before something else happens"

Tseng nodded absently, his thoughts still wondering, "Best case scenario, we can take them captive before any of this becomes relevant and simply shut it down ourselves. If not, allowing one person to get away while you're fighting four shouldn't be that hard to make look accidental. In fact, you may not have to do any acting at all."

"So what are you doing during all of this?"

"Watching very supportively while giving guidance and encouragement from the comfort of the helicopter."

"Oh, thank you," Reno said dramatically, "Don't know what I would do without your reassurance and moral support."

* * *

><p>Zack seemed to have fallen into a different world. He had just been standing in a finely adorned room filled with luxuries he would never have known existed, and moments later found himself standing ankle deep in filthy water, surrounded by the potent stench of sewage. It was remarkably similar to the plate and the slums. Those at the top could never imagine what existed beneath their feet. "Are you okay?" Zack called into the dark tunnel.<p>

"Fine," Cissnei answered, trying to regain her balance in heal while in water, "I d be much better if I wasn' t stuck in prissy shoes and a dress."

"No kidding?" Cloud said dryly.

"Don t be such a baby," Zack threw him a change of clothes he d brought along, "Go find a corner. Tifa, are you alright?"

"I m fine," Tifa appeared, wringing the disgusting water from her hair, " I have to say this is one of the less appealing places we've been to."

Cloud ventured about twenty feet into the darkness to change clothes while the rest of them discussed their coarse of action.

"I guess we don t have time to go back and get our weapons from Barret, do we?" Zack asked no one in particular.

"If there s any commotion, he's probably already there," Tifa answered, "But in case he's not, one of us could go back to get them while the other three go straight to the-"

Thud... thud... thud..  
>"That can t be good," Cissnei drew a shiruken. She hadn t been able to conceal her usual weapon, but several smaller versions fit quite nicely. The pounding grew closer as a huge bluish-green monster appeared before them.<p>

"Yeah, Ciss, I m pretty sure this makes the not good category," Zack readied his knife, It s blocking our way out. We don t need to kill it, just get around it.

"Right," Cissnei threw multiple shirukens at once from the left side, forcing the monster to move to the right. She ran toward the opening and motioned for him to follow.

"Come on!" Zack shouted to Cloud and Tifa, then sprinted after Cissnei. He front flipped over the monster s extended arm as it lunged at him, throwing his knife back at it as he landed. The monster reeled back into the opposite wall as the blade sank into it s skin. The entire sewer shook as rubble began to fall from the walls and ceiling.

"Cloud, Tifa, RUN!" Zack shouted as more rocks crumbled into an increasingly large barrier between them. Soon, they were on opposite sides of a wall of solid stone.

"CLOUD!" Zack started forward, but Cissnei pulled him back, "What are you doing? Cloud and Tifa are trapped in there with that thing!"

"We don t have much time," Cissnei said calmly, " If we don t reach the pillar before Shinra does, an entire sector will be wiped out. I m sorry Zack, but we can t go back for them."

"So you re just going to leave them there to die!"

"Do you think they'll be any safer going into a war zone destine to explode?" Cissnei reproached, "I'm going to put my faith in Cloud and Tifa's abilities and hope for the best. Now let s go before we re too late."

Zack took one last look back, "Sorry guys. Good luck."

Reluctantly, he followed Cissnei out of the sewer. When they arrived at Sector 7, the chaos had already begun. Shinra troops covered the stairwell of the main support pillar. The people who had figured out what was going on were split between the ones fighting to stop it, and the ones fleeing in terror. Through the madness, they saw Barret fighting his way up the stairway.

"Weapon are behind that bush by the the fence," he shouted when he saw them coming. Cissnei couldn't hear him over the noise, but luckily Zack's SOLDIER enhanced senses allowed him to. They quickly retrieved their weapons and joined the frenzy. It wasn't like other battles Zack had fought. Normally, there was only him and the enemy, not hundreds of innocent people caught in the crossfire. He struck down a Shinra troop in one skilled strike to find a child standing behind the man, watching his every move. He could only have been about nine or ten with wide, blank blue eyes. He wondered what he must look like to such innocent eyes. Terrifying? Murderous?

_"Soldier are monsters"_

He brushed aside the memory and focused on the boy, "You need to get out of here."

"My mom went back," he said distantly, "She went back to warn everyone. I can t leave without her."

"You're mom would want you to go somewhere safe. You have to get away from-"

He fell forward as a bullet sank into his left shoulder. He'd let his guard down, and now he was paying for it. He caught himself before he'd fully hit the ground and swung behind him, ending the man who'd shot him.

Zack, come on! Cissnei yelled from the base of the stairs. Her right arm was bleeding heavily, but she didn't seem to notice. She fought her way up, step by step, desperate to reach the top in time. "Go somewhere safe," Zack told the boy.

"There is no where safe"

"Then get as far away from here as you can, okay kid?" he began to run after Cissnei.

"Denzel"

"What?" Zack stopped.

"My name is Denzel"

"If I make it back, meet me at the entrance of Sector 6, alright Denzel?" Zack knew he couldn t afford to be picking up kids, but this boy looked so lost, he couldn't help himself.

"Alright"

Zack quickly caught up to Cissnei on the stairs and they fought back to back as they battled toward their only hope of saving Sector 7.

* * *

><p>Cloti fans, next chapter, I promise there will be some Cloud and Tifa development. I'll probably update again tomorrow because this was a pretty short chapter.<p>

* * *

><p>cloti4life, Cloud innovativeness! Partly because it was where I could fit it in, and partly because I really wanted to hit Corneo in the face with a stapler.<p>

* * *

><p>Aerith: You didn't put me in again!<p>

Leah: I'm sorry! It didn't fit with the plot. Remember the last time I put you in early? It didn't make any sense at all!

Aerith: Excuses!

Leah: I'm sorry!


	13. Chapter 13

**cloti4life**, it's true, everyone else know that it's definitely not platonic, but oblivious Cloud hasn't quite figured that out yet. "Would you crossdress for me?" is going to be my new ultimate test.

I've always wondered, how on earth did Cloud carry that huge sword in without anyone noticing? It makes no sense! Maybe dresses are even more spacious than I thought...

**022**, I no longer trust Google, but I depend on it too much to stop using it. Google and I have a bit of a love-hate relationship. And I hadn't decided whether I was going to drop the plate or not until about a chapter ago. It was a tough choice because both presented a lot of different opportunities.

**ledah13**, I thought I would have Denzel have a very different relationship with Zack. Zack would be more of the big brother to mess around with, while Cloud would be the fascinating hero. This working on it though. And yeah, wikai is much better than wikipedia.

**oddball**, Lol! You and Zack can team up to battle the evil dresses. I didn't know there was umbrella action in LOTR! I bet it was Sam. He was already bashing in orc heads with pots and pans. Why not an umbrella?

* * *

><p>"Tifa!" Cloud shouted as he struggled to stand in spite of the rubble trapping his leg, "TIFA!"<p>

He pushed the rock off of himself and gingerly placed his weight one his now possibly fractured leg. It wasn't comfortable, but he could walk on it. Beneath his feet was an oddly shaped ridge. He reached under the water to find a metal rod, probably once a shovel handle. He held it like he would a sword and shouted again into the now nearly black tunnel. He wouldn't be able to see a thing if not for his enhanced vision. Tifa was probably as good as blind.

"Tifa!" his mako eyes searched frantically. Then he saw her, her left arm trapped beneath stone, desperately trying to free herself to escape the approaching beast. The monster had thick skin, too tough for a dull rod to penetrate far and with it's size, getting at it's eyes would be almost impossible. Panic threatened to invade his consciousness as adrenaline took over his senses. He had no back up, no means of escape, and his only weapon was half a shovel. The only thing left to do: something incredibly stupid.

He ran between Tifa and the monster as it stood up on it's hind legs and waited for it to attack. As the monster raged down, it's mouth open ready to devour them both, Cloud thrust the rod upward through the roof of it's mouth. He flinched as teeth sank into his arm, but the trade off was worth it. Not even a menacing beast could survive with a shovel handle through it's brain. It fell, it's head just barely missing Tifa and himself.

Cloud fell back into the muddy water, breathing heavily, his pulse pounding in his ears. Slowly, his mind began to clear of the powerful force of fight or flight instinct. When he regained the ability to think, the ability to feel pain returned as well. He took a deep breath and forced himself to block out the sharp stinging in his arm, to distance himself from it. He sensed pain, but it was a separate entity that, with enough willpower, he could ignore. He staggered to his feet and relocated Tifa.

"You alright?" he asked as he began digging to free her arm from the rocks.

"I-I think so. At least it could have been much worse," she said wincing as he moved a rock that had dug about a quarter inch into her arm, "You?"

"I'll live," a few more minutes of digging freed her completely, "It think you're finger is broken."

She flexed her fingers to discover that her slightly crooked ring finger wouldn't bend any farther than a slight curve, "Definitely. I'll set and wrap it later."

Tifa began to rise. Cloud extended a hand to her until he realized she couldn't see it.

"I guess that's two I owe you," she told him

"Hmm?"

"That was far from an easy rescue," Tifa explained, smiling a little mischievously as she finished, "You and Zack put more than your lives on the line. You also risked your dignity. That's true friendship."

Cloud searched for words, but found none, so Tifa continued.

"I guess... what I'm trying to say is, thank you"

"No problem," Cloud said awkwardly. He was painfully bad at one on one communication, but Tifa didn't seem to notice much.

"Any ideas on how to get out of here?" she asked, "I'm guessing you can see if you just stopped that monster thing. My eyes have adjusted enough that I can make out some vague shapes, but I'm still pretty much blind."

"I'll lead then," he took her right hand and began to look for a way out. He knew it was only logical that he and Tifa hold hands if she couldn't see in here, but it still took every last bit of his courage to entwine his fingers in her gentle, slender ones.

* * *

><p>"Vincent," Aerith said, "You were in the manor a long time, right?"<p>

"Twenty-three years, I believe," he said.

"So... you would have been here at the same times he was. The man I'm looking for I mean," Aerith replied, "You wouldn't happen to remember anyone named Zack Fair would you?"

"You are mistaken. I did not leave the coffin those 23 years"

"Not at all?" Aerith asked, "You're sure you didn't see anyone? He's young, 23 now, with black hair and mako-blue eyes."

Vincent seemed to be in lost another world.

"Are you even listening?"

"There's a man sleeping in here," he said distantly.

"What?"

"That's what he said," Vincent answered, "I only saw him for a split second as he put the lid back down, but he had dark hair, blue eyes, and an X shaped scar on his left cheek."

"That's him!" Aerith exclaimed.

"Unfortunately, that doesn't help you much. I don't know where he went after that or even remember how long ago it was."

"I know..." Aerith said distantly, "But.. any news about him is comforting for some reason. At least it proves that he was real. And he really did escape from here, so I'm on the right track."

As Aerith stepped outside of the manor, she noticed Vincent was no longer following, "What's wrong?"

"You didn't tell me it was day time"

"So you have red eyes, sleep in a coffin, don't age, and now you're afraid of sunlight?" Aerith threw her arms out beside her dramatically, "What are you, a vampire?"

"It has nothing to do with sunlight," Vincent said, suddenly pulling her back into the the building, "I heard very little from my coffin, but I know that Shinra watches this town."

"Watches it?" she looked at his quizzically, "Why?"

"Sephiroth burned the place to the ground. Even I couldn't sleep through that. Heat and screaming so intense, I even considered getting up."

"The place was on fire, and you didn't get out of your coffin!" Aerith exclaimed.

"It was not a matter that concerned me. I slept in a coffin because I consider myself already dead. Those who are dead do not involve themselves in the day to day happenings of the living."

"You're not dead!" Aerith said exasperated, "I've lost my original family and my significant other too, but that doesn't make me dead. You're no more dead than I am!"

"How does one define life? If you are unaffected by death, are you really alive?"

Aerith shook her head, "You breath, you live. It's as simple as that."

"I exist, yes, but I do not live"

"You are alive," Aerith told him, "Whether that life has any meaning is entirely up to you. Now why can't I go outside?"

"You may go if you wish. However, I must warn you that you will most likely die."

"Well that's intriguing," Aerith raised her eyebrows, "Why exactly?"

"Shinra watches"

"You know you're pretty much no help at all, right?"

"Just trust me and wait until nightfall," Vincent replied, "Then we will attempt to escape"

"I didn't realize I was imprisoned"

"You will soon enough"

* * *

><p>"Cloud," Tifa said timidly. After nearly seven years of wanting to ask this one question, she was still a little afraid of the answer, "Why did you join Shinra?"<p>

Cloud fumbled for words at the sudden question, "I guess I wanted to be someone important."

"Sometimes I wonder..." Tifa started with difficulty, "if we had been nicer to you, tried to help you, maybe you wouldn't have left."

Cloud fidgeted awkwardly, "I don't know"

"Yes you do," she contradicted, her voice gaining strength, "I'm not stupid, Cloud. It was partly my fault you did it, wasn't it? We were so mean to you. It wasn't until a few weeks before you left that I started to see what was happening."

"It doesn't matter now," Cloud attempted again to avoid expressing personal feelings of any kind.

"It does matter!" Tifa argued, "If I'm the one who did all of this to you, I need to know that."

"There were a lot of reasons I left, Tifa," Cloud said turning away even though she couldn't see him, "Impressing you was just one of them."

"Impressing me?"

Cloud tensed as he realized what he had just said, "It doesn't matter. I needed an escape from that town and SOLDIER provided a glorious way to do it, so I left. That's all there is to it."

"Alright," Tifa sighed, "I guess all I really wanted to say was... I'm sorry"

Cloud turned back to her. He was glad she couldn't see that he was staring, "Tifa, regardless of what made me leave, none of what happened afterward had anything to do with you."

"All the same, I should have acted differently. I knew things had been hard for you since your dad died, but I did nothing until my mother passed away, and even then I think it was only because I wanted someone who understood what it was like to loose a parent to talk to. I'm so selfish."

"Tifa..." Cloud was lost for words.

"It's okay," she stopped him, "I'm not looking for you to tell me it wasn't my fault or forgive me. I just thought I should acknowledge what I did wrong. And you still have every right to hate me for it."

"I don't hate you," for the first time the entire conversation, words came quickly and easily, "I never did."

"That's good to hear," Tifa's face suddenly changed to a frustrated pout, "I really wish I could see you right now. That would make this so much easier."

"Maybe soon you can," Cloud squinted to see a faint bit of light up ahead.

They half walked, half jogged through the sewer until they finally reached the light from an opening in the ceiling, a manhole it looked like.

"Lift me up," Tifa said to Cloud, "I'll pull you up after I'm through."

Cloud nodded and cupped his hands into a decent foothold. Tifa pushed the grate out of the hole and pulled herself through.

"You would make a pretty good cheerleader," she said as she leaned back into the hole to help Cloud up.

"Isn't making me wear a dress enough of an attack on my masculinity for one day?" Cloud complained.

When they had both made it to freedom, they realized they had actually gone somewhat in the right direction. They could be at the plate in a few minutes. No words were needed to decide on a course of action; in the light, half of their communication was with looks and gestures rather than speech.

When they reached the plate, they found a disaster more catastrophic than they had even imagined. Through the battlefield, they saw Zack, Cissnei, and Barret on the stairs.

"ZACK!" Cissnei screamed as she watched him fall back down the last flight of stairs after being struck my an infantryman's bullet.

Cloud and Tifa tried to run to them, but it would be ages before they could get close enough to help through the fighting. They could only watch as Zack miraculously regain his senses from the downward tumble just in time to impale a Shinra troop about to finish him off.

Cloud had fought hard before, but not like this. Never before had there been so much at stake. He forced his way through the battle and caught up to Zack after a few minutes, Tifa closely following in the path he had cleared.

"Cloud! Oh, thank Gaia," Zack said through heavy breaths, "Although, Cissnei's right that you're probably not any better off here."

"At least we'll all bite the dust together," Cloud replied.

When they had all reached the top, they had hoped that meant the end. They couldn't have been more wrong. In front of them stood Reno.

"Hey guys, always seem to run into ya just before things blow up, don't I?" he spoke to all of AVALANCHE, but his eyes were focused on Cissnei.

Barret attacked first with a spray of bullets that Reno skillfully evaded. Disguising his motion as a dodge, he moved toward Cissnei, "I've been told this is a bomb only a Turk can disarm."

Then he moved back and continued his deadly dance of EMR strokes and dodging bullets. Cissnei broke away from the group and ran to the panel. When she got there, she could only stare. What was going on?

* * *

><p>Tseng watched from the helicopter, face stoic as always, but beneath his mask as the perfect Turk, the heart he wasn't supposed to have bled. Emotions he had convinced himself did not exist screamed in his mind to put an end to the madness unfolding below him. Husbands searching for their wives, mothers screaming for their children. Hell on earth had come, and he simply watched as though it were nothing more than a terrible movie.<p>

Shinra's purpose was to protect people, provide energy, and better the world. If he thought back far enough, he was certain he had at one time believed that. He always completed his mission. But why? Why did he excicute whatever assignment he was given? Was there any real purpose to it, or was it simply what he had been taught to do?

Did he even care what was right and what was wrong anymore? If so, would he be able to identify it after so many years of simply following orders? If he could, would it be enough for him to forfeit his life and carear?

Veld had been his idol, his inspiration for exelling in this job. Veld was the perfect Turk in his eyes, and even he once said that life was more than a job. After continually telling Tseng that individual lives meant nothing and all that mattered was the mission, he then risked a mission to save Tseng's life.

He stared absently at the explosive about to destroy what was left of the Sector, all but disconnected from what the numbers counting down were really leading to.

He was suddenly jerked back into reality. Something was wrong. It wasn't the bomb he was expecting to see, it was one that had just come out of development. He had only ever seen a picture of the prototype it was based on... and he had no idea how to disarm it.

"Reno, get out of there!" he shouted, leaning out of the helicopter, "Everyone out now!"

"Tseng, what are you talking about?" Reno yelled back, barely audible over the sound of the copter.

"Shinra lied! You can't stop! None of you can!" he wasn't sure if Reno could hear him, but his last message was clear, "GET OUT NOW!"

"I'm not going to follow what you told me, Veld," he said to himself, "I'm going to follow what you showed me"

"Cissnei!" he shouted down, "There's nothing you can do! Get out of here!"

She turned away from the panel to him. Her eyes held nothing but anguish and devastation. She spoke too softly for him to hear her words, but he could read her lips perfectly, "Why, Tseng? Why would you do this?"

Reno grasped the ladder Tseng had just let down for him. A minute and thirty seconds left. Just enough time for AVALANCHE to make it out without his help. If no one had overheard him talking to Cissnei, he could keep his job another day. The helicopter took off as he shouted his last warning to Cissnei, "Get out of the Sector before it's too late!"

* * *

><p>"We have to leave," Cissnei shouted to the rest of AVALANCHE.<p>

"Leave?" Barret called back, "You're giving up? I thought you were a Turk! I thought you always completed a mission!"

"There's nothing we can do," she began down the stairs.

"You running away?" Barret yelled after her, "Coward!"

"Barret, enough," Zack told him, "She's right, none of us can disarm this."

"No, we can still fix this! We can still-"

"It's over, Barret!" Zack shouted, "Now let's go while we still can."

They sprinted down the stairs as the clock ticked down. Zack could see the fence at the edge of the Sector. They were so close...

Time was up. Debris rained down from the dust clouded sky as the support pillar was blow to pieces and the entire Sector crumbled.

* * *

><p>Yeah, people may be mad at me for leaving it there, but I'm going to fall asleep on my computer if I don't.<p>

I know it seems a little overly convenient, but I looked it up and shovel handles actually have been found in sewers. How, I'm not sure, but it still makes more sense than when the characters' weapons randomly reappear.

* * *

><p>Aerith: "That's it! Vincent and I discuss the meaning of life, and then you cut away again?"<p>

Leah: "I plead the fifth"

Aerith: "No! I want answers"

Leah: "I need you guys to meet up at the right time, so I can't have your part of the story getting ahead of AVALANCHE's"

Aerith: "Then AVALANCHE needs to hurry up. You're killing the hearts of Zerith fans!"


	14. Chapter 14

Sorry it's a little late! But it long. Does that help a little?

After a long day of chasing down siblings and groceries through thunderstorms, running errands for elderly grandparents, and accidentally killing the car battery and hr & 45 min away from home, finding 7 lovely new reviews was a gift of divine proportions. Thanks so much to you all!

**PlayLaughNerd**, thank you so much! I'm glad you like it! And I'm absolutely in love with your name. Geeks rule!

**PathKeeper,** ...yeah... I actually did have a plan for what to do with Marlene from the beginning, but I kept forgetting to bring it up. *headdesk*

**Saffie3**, stapler idea goes to the brilliance of cloti4life. Had a lot of fun writing that bit ^_^

**ledah13**, Lol, looking like Alucard from Hellsing doesn't help his "not a vampire" case. I think Vincent would make a better vampire than those twilight people anyway.

**022**, I did some research on Tseng's background in Before Crisis to get a little better idea of what his character and motives were. I did the math again, and you're right, Zack would still be 23. Fixing it!

**Cloti4life**, LOL! That should be Cloud's new fighting method. Just pick up whatever random object happens to be lying around. It makes him that much more awesome. Cloud would make a terrible cheerleader, but I could resist the urge to pick on him one more time before the story gets serious.

**AnnaGhost94**, thank you so much! I love writing Cloud. Something about him just resonates with me. Glad you like it!

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><p>So much angst in this chapter, but I thought it had to be since the plate drop was such an emotional moment. Hope I didn't go overboard.<p>

Watching "Sweeny Todd" before writing probably didn't help with the depressing mood.

PS: Never eat meat pies from questionable British women! EVER!

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><p>Less than a minute ago, there had been light, wind, and voices. Now, time and space had left his consciousness; only darkness remained. He was soon aware enough to open his eyes, but still saw nothing but black. Was he dead? No, he could feel. His ears were ringing and something heavy kept him pressed against the ground.<p>

Faintly, distantly, he heard heated, frantic voices.

"Marelene! MARLENE!"

"Calm down, Barret."

"Don't tell me to be calm, Turk! My daughter was still-"

"She's fine!"

"Whadaya mean 'she's fine'? She was still in there!"

"No she wasn't. Zack told me to drop her off at Elmyra's when we split up to look for Tifa"

"Why the hell didn't ya tell me that sooner!"

"It didn't come up. Now help me look. Zack! Cloud! Tifa!"

He tried to respond, but there was no air in his lungs to shout with. Only a choked wheeze, "I'm here"

He could hear thudding and scraping of rubble being moved as a Barret said, "We did this. This is all because of AVALANCHE. All those people.."

"We don't have time to worry about that now"

We killed them! They're all dead because of us!"

"Barret, just help me-! Oh no.. ZACK!" Cissnei screamed, now panicked. Her voice was closer than before and more sounds of shifting rubble quickly followed. He remembered now. They had nearly made it out when the Sector collapsed on top of them. Fear gripped him. Where was everyone else? Had Cissnei found Cloud and Tifa, or were they buried just like him?

Panicked, heavy breathing became clearer as some of the weight slowly lifted. It continued to lessen until light began to shine through. Sunlight temporarily blinded him, then Cissnei's face appeared.

"Zack. Oh, Gaia, you're a mess," Cissnei said, the terror in her eyes was soon overpowered by composed determination, "Okay. It's okay. You're going to be alright. We'll get you out of here."

He didn't understand why Cissnei looked so worried. He felt alright. A little nacious and disoriented, but he'd felt worse. So what had her so scared?

"Zack, can you hear me?"

He heard the words immediately, but it took time to comprehend them. He slowly nodded his head, which required far more effort than he'd expected.

Cissnei turned around to Barret, "I'll take care of him. You go find Cloud and Tifa"

"Cissnei," he said, "It's okay. Don't worry, we'll be alright."

If anything, she looked even more like she was about to cry, "I know, Zack. I know."

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><p>"You said we'd stop it!" Reno yelled angrily, "You said we'd make sure it didn't come to this!"<p>

"I didn't anticipate Shinra lying about-"

"Shinra lies all the time! Why is that so surprising?"

Tseng messaged his temples, "I didn't want it to go this way either, Reno, but there's nothing we can do about it now."

"How can you be so calm? We just killed hundreds of innocent people!"

"I would think you would be prepaired for that. You did become a Turk, after all."

"I expected to kill enemies! Soldiers, political targets, not civilians! There were kids in that Sector!"

"Stop shouting," Tseng leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes, "We've drawn enough attention as it is"

"You think I care?" Reno fumed, "This is not the job I signed up for!"

"Then go find another one," Tseng retorted irritably.

"You know they'll kill me," Reno replied, "But maybe I don't care anymore. Maybe I'll just go get myself shot with Zack and Cissnei. If they're still alive, anyway."

"If you're going to desert, I hope you at least come up with a better plan than running off and getting killed. You have too much talent to just throw it away."

"Talent," Reno scoffed, "So I'm a talented mass murderer. At least I'm good at what I do."

"Just find out if they're alive or not," Tseng told him wearily, "If they are, I won't get in your way. If not, don't get yourself killed for nothing"

The room was silent for a while, which to Tseng was far more worrisome than Reno's angry outbursts. He opened his eyes to see the redheaded Turk had sunk into a chair with his head in his hands.

"I thought I was ready for anything," he said, "I thought whatever they threw at me, I could take it. But this... this is just wrong. What are we even doing all this for, anyway?"

"Go home, Reno," Tseng replied, "Get some sleep. Don't make any decisions until you've calmed down."

Reno left silently, his usual upbeat, laid back disposition gone. A moment later, he heard something crash in the hallway. He decided he didn't want to know what Reno had just broken and went back to staring blankly at his paperwork.

Mean while, Reno reached his own office and promptly began throwing everything that would make a satisfying crash when it broke.

"DAMN IT!" he threw the last object within reach, and sank into his office chair.

"You know you're cleaning this up later right," said a deep voice, "I take care of your messes a lot, but this one you're on your own."

Rude stood in the doorway. Reno quickly returned to his usual uncaring attitude, "Gotcha. But you're not talking about the office, are you?"

"If you betray us, I will kill you if orders demand it," Rude said simply.

"Good to know," Reno stood up and leaned on the desk, facing away to avoid looking at his partner.

"Reno, you hadn't fail a mission in six years. Now Cissnei leaves, and you're suddenly leaving things half completed left and right. And you didn't even save her. You just condemned an entire city."

"You think I don't know that," Reno snapped

"Even on the off chance she survived, if Shinra wants her dead, she won't last long no matter what you do to help her."

"Just follow orders, and things might not turn out quite as disastrously as if you don't," Reno muttered bitterly, then paused, "Do you remember the last mission I failed? Six years ago?"

Rude remained silent.

"You do, don't you?" Reno asked, "It was an assassination. I don't remember his name, or even why I was supposed to kill him. Maybe I never knew to begin with. It was a simple job. Go into his house, kill him in his sleep. Simple, right?"

Bitterness dripped from every word as he continued, "But he wasn't in his bed, he was in another room on the opposite side of the house. I shot him through the window, then went in to finish him off. That's when I realized he wasn't in his room because he was up talking to his 6-year-old son. About a nightmare, I think. After I shot him and came in through the window, he looked at his son and said, 'Don't worry. The monsters aren't real.' I was going to finish the job, but the kid stood right between me and his father and begged me not to kill him. What was I supposed to do? Shoot him?"

Rude lowered his head slightly, avoiding eye contact.

"The man survived and became a constant roadblock for Shinra. To make it worse, he was all but impossible to take out since he knew we were after him. Heidegger was furious. You have to at least remember that part," he traced the red lines under his eyes, "The part where he took a knife to my face."

"I'm not going to deny, Shinra isn't always right," Rude started.

"Heidegger's intent was to make me regret ever disobeying Shinra," Reno continued, "But I never did. Now I'm just pissed I put up with this place for so long."

"I guess there's nothing I can say to make you see reason, so there's no point in talking any longer," Rude said as he left.

"See ya 'round, buddy," Reno shut the door behind Rude a good bit harder than necessary and returned to his place in the chair.

"I'm really starting to hate this job," he mused, "Ya know Fair, you're a real pain in the ass."

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><p>Cloud pushed the plate of steel off of himself and Tifa, "You alright?"<p>

"I'm fine," she said, "No new injuries, anyway."

"We seem to be doing this a lot lately," Cloud replied, "We really need to stop walking under falling rubble."

Their relief vanished when they rose from their small section of the carnage. Everywhere there were people screaming, looking for one another or trying to free themselves from the wasteland. Just off to their right, there was a group of people trying to free a young girl trapped under a pillar. He and Tifa came to a silent agreement and rushed forward to help. Cloud and three other men lifted as Tifa pulled the girl out to freedom.

"Where do you think everyone else is?" Cloud asked her.

"I don't- There's Barret!"

"Tifa!" he shouted and ran forward to wrap her in a stifling, relieved hug, "You're alive."

"And I'm not dead too. Thanks for noticing" Cloud muttered, too low for the ecstatic man to hear.

"You alright, kid?" he asked Cloud.

"Close enough," he answered, "Did you find Zack and Cissnei?"

"Cissnei's alright," he said anxiously, "But Zack..."

"What's wrong?" Cloud instantly stiffened.

"He's alive, but he's pretty messed up"

"Where is he!" Cloud didn't even try to keep his composer.

"Now calm d-"

"Where!"

Barret pointed him off to the left and Cloud sprinted away immediately.

"Cissnei," he said when he saw her, "Where's-"

Cloud stood in stunned silence. Zack, strong, charismatic, seemingly invincible Zack, laid limply in Cissnei's arm in a pool of his own blood. Zack had been his stronghold, the one stable, unwavering element in his life. In the few small fragments of the last few years he could remember, fear was a nearly constant companion, but nothing compared to this. He moved forward as though in a dream.

"Z-Zack" he half whispered.

"Hey, Spiky," he didn't seem to know how badly injured he was, "I need you to do something for me."

"Anything," Cloud said a little louder.

"There's a kid named Denzel, about 10 with brown hair and blue eyes. I was supposed to find him at the main gate of Sector 6. I need you to go get him and take him to Elmyra's."

"Who?"

"I'll give you directions," Cissnei answered.

"Cissnei, is he..?" he wasn't even sure exactly what he wanted to ask.

"I'll take care of him," she said gently, "Go find Denzel. We'll meet you back at Elmyra's"

He felt a soft hand on his shoulder. Tifa.

"I'll go with him," she said to Cissnei. Cissnei gave the directions to much more aware Tifa instead.

.

Cissnei took one last look over her shoulder as Cloud and Tifa disappeared. She knew Cloud was the best person to be there for Zack, but he would also be the most deeply affected. They had all depended on Zack, but not like Cloud had. Cloud's world had just been ripped out from under him. She wouldn't make him face this just yet.

"Barret, do you think you can carry him?" she asked, realizing Zack was out cold now.

"Sure," Barret lifted the younger man easily and more gently than she had previously thought him capable of. Most likely the influence of fatherhood considering he always softened around Marlene. She imagined how indignant Zack would be if he was still conscious.

"Ya think he's gonna make it?" Barret asked.

"I-" Cissnei wished she could say yes, "I don't know."

They were silent the rest of the trek to the small cottage in Sector 5.

"What happened?" Elmyra asked as they entered.

"Sector Seven's gone," Barret answered, "The whole damn Sector, just gone."

They placed Zack on the couch and Elmyra retrieved a medical kit.

"He never gets an easy day, does he?" she said as she handed it over to Cissnei. Cissnei carefully removed Zack's battered sleeveless sweater. Her face paled.

"I-I don't know if I can fix this," her hands shook with fear, "He needs to see a real doctor"

"Yeah, cause fugitives are welcome at public hospitals," Barret retorted, "Ya gotta do it"

"I'm an assassin, not a doctor!" Cissnei exclaimed, "I know how to kill people, not save them! I'm not trained for this!"

"Well, whether you're trained or not, you're the only chance he's got"

She inhaled deeply, trying to calm the raging fear within her. She examined Zack's various injuries. His right leg was broken, his left shoulder dislocated, he had a deep gash in the upper right part of his chest, and a concussion in addition to whatever internal damage she couldn't see, "We'd have to set the bone in his leg, and put his shoulder back into place. After that, we'll need to look for materia to speed up the healing process."

"See, ya do know what you're doin'," Barret said encouragingly.

"It's much easier said than done," her hand shook as she prepared herself, "I guess we should try to do this before he wakes up. Hopefully he stays under... Even so, you should probably hold him down."

She did everything in her power to disconnect from the task at hand and simply go through the motions without feeling. If only she could.

The moment she set the bone, Zack was awake again, screaming in pain. Screaming for Angeal.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, finding his hand through tear filled eyes and holding it tightly, "I'm sorry"

"Aerith," he cried, "Aerith"

"I-" Cissnei paused. What would she do? "I'm here."

She wished she really was Aerith. Or that she could bring the gentle, ancient girl here to provide the safety and comfort she simply didn't know how to give. She would just have to get it over with as quickly as possible. She closed her eyes as she wrenched his should back into place, but nothing she could do would block out Zack's cries of agony.

'Oh God,' she prayed desperately, 'If you're up there, please help me.' If only Aerith were there, she would know what to do. But Aerith was no where to be found, so herself as a mediocre stand in would have to do. She put her arms around him and pulled him in close.

"It's alright," she stroked his hair gently, "You're alright"

"Don't make me go back," he muttered, "Please don't make me go back"

She could only guess he meant to Hojo's lab. Was this the kind of pain he endured regularly there? Nausea threatened to overpower her, but she fought it back, "It's okay."

No, it wasn't okay. Zack may appear to be fine, but when he was no longer aware enough to play the part of the strong leader, his brokenness showed through, "It's okay"

Although in a very different way, he was almost as wounded as Cloud. Just much better at hiding it. How could she not have seen that? Her eyes stung as tears a Turk wasn't supposed to be capable of broke through, "It's okay"

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><p>"You alright?" Tifa asked.<p>

"No," for the first time in years, he allowed himself to answer honestly, "I'm not alright. Zack is always so together and... I can't do this without him, Teef"

This time, it was Tifa's turn to briefly take his hand, not out of necessity or practicality, but simply as comfort from one lost and broken soul to another.

"We'll be alright," she said, "The best thing we can do for Zack right now is find this Denzel boy. Maybe we should split up to look for him?"

Cloud nodded and they parted way to search for the mystery boy. The slums were the same in every sector. Poor, run down, and dirty. It was a world long forgotten by those with the capability and authority to fix it; only the powerless still knew of it's existence. Leaning against the chain-link fence, was a boy of about 10 years old.

"Denzel?" he asked.

"How do you know my name?" the boy asked.

"The man who said he would meet you here couldn't make it, so he sent me," Cloud answered. The boy tried to stand, but fell back dizzily. His hair caught the wind as he fell, revealing the black marks of Geostigma.

"I can't go with you," Denzel told him solemnly, "I don't think I'll make it far right now"

"I'll carry you," Cloud said.

"You don't want to touch me," Denzel told him, wrapping his arms around himself protectively.

"It's alright. I'm sick too," Cloud knelt down to be at eye level with the boy, "We can be sick together."

The boy slowly lifted his head from his knees to meet Cloud's eyes. Innocent blue orbs slowly changed from fearful to trusting. Cloud extended his hand to help the boy up, then gestured for Denzel to jump on his shoulders. After collecting Tifa, they followed Cissnei's instructions to Elmyra's to find Cissnei and Barret talking in hushed, worried voices over Zack's sleeping form.

"Is he alright?" Cloud asked.

"I wasn't so sure for a while, but now I'm confident he'll live," Cissnei replied, "I guess you wanted something a bit more reassuring than that, huh?"

"How long has he been out?"

"About twenty minutes. He has a concussion and seemed pretty disoriented, so even when he does wake up, he's not going to make much sense for a while."

Silent understanding filled the room. Zack had been their stronghold, the glue that kept them together. To see him so helpless had shaken all of them.

"Elmyra, would you like some help getting something ready to eat?" Tifa asked. It was her default setting. When everything goes to hell, clean or make something to eat. It was as she was getting ready to pick up a pan that she remembered her broken finger, "I guess I should probably take care of that first"

This triggered about an hour of patching up the various minor injuries of the rest of the team. Cissnei's arm, Tifa's hand, Cloud's arm and leg, and the cuts and bruises that covered them all.

"We look like hell," Barret shook his head disapprovingly.

"We're lucky we're not all dead," Cissnei said through clenched teeth as she attempted to use her mouth as a third hand to hold to end of the gauze she was wrapping her arm with. She looked in the mirror to see her arm from a different angle. Barret was right, she looked terrible, but the fact that she looked so unlike herself made it easier somehow. If she could forget it was the same face from all those years in Shinra beneath the dirt and blood, maybe she would be able to stop hating the girl in the mirror. She still sometimes had trouble even looking at Zack after abandoning him to the horrors of Shinra manor. Maybe if she changed enough, she could one day forgive herself.

"Aerith," she said to herself, turning away from the tired, dirty face in the mirror, "What would you do?"

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><p>"Is this dark enough?" Aerith asked as the last few rays of sunlight disappeared beyond the horizon.<p>

"It would be best if we waited another hour or so," Vincent replied.

"It's close enough," Aerith contradicted, "I've wasted enough time here already. It's time to leave."

Vincent hesitated, but eventually followed her a few feet behind. The eery silence seemed to magnify every soft footstep to the sound of thunder. The creek of the door seemed the equivalent of a passing train. Aerith hardly breathed as they crept all but silently out of the mansion.

They made no mistakes leaving. It was her mistake entering that betrayed them.

"So you've finally decided to come out," stated a man's nearly monotone voice, "We've been waiting for you."

"Vincent, I didn't-" Aerith's heart sank into her stomach. They knew. They knew all along that she was there. Vincent was right, Shinra watches. An impossibly strong hand held her upper arm in an inescapable death grip. Not only would Shinra capture her, but she'd doomed Vincent to this fate as well, "I'm sorry. I didn't know they saw me come here."

"No matter," he said calmly. He removed a massive handgun from his cape and shot her captor perfectly between the eyes. Aerith remained still with shock as she felt the tight fingers around her arm loosen and the full weight of the man fall into her. Warm liquid soaked her shirt as he collapsed at her feet. She had worked for Shinra, yes, but spent most of her time behind a desk, not in the field. The brutality of death would take some getting used to.

"Thank you," she said when she had recovered her voice.

"We have to leave now," Vincent lead her around the back of mansion where they hoped to escape into the woods. They had nearly made it when they found themselves surrounded by a dozen people all dressed in identical black suits. Without thinking, Aerith began to fire into them just as she did the targets in training.

"Vincent, get out of here!" she shouted, "I got you into this. Let me handle it."

"No," Vincent said matter-of-factly, "I will not."

Aerith didn't have time to argue as a gunshot rang past her ear. She retaliated with several shots, but whether or not any hit their target, it was too dark to be sure.

"What do you want from me?" she screamed into the night. For a moment, her cry was met with only silence, then a gunshot rang out just before pain in her right leg brought her to the ground.

"What the hell are you doing?" an unfamiliar voice said, "We're not supposed to kill the ancient!"

"I didn't kill her! I just-"

"She could bleed to death!" the silhouette of a man loomed over her, in his hand the outline of a siringe.

"Vincent. Vincent!" she screamed. It couldn't end here. She still had to find him. The man plunged the needle into her arm, "ZACK!"

The world around her faded away to nothing but darkness and the faint voices of the dead that called her from the lifestream.

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><p>I'm surprised Fanfiction social workers haven't shown up at my door, ready to arrest me for character abuse. I swear I'm not a sadist! I catch bugs in cups and release them into the wild, and chased the mouse out the front door with a broom! It's just when I'm writing, my deeply buried cruel side appears.<p>

I know I slipped up with Marlene's location. That really was my plan from the beginning, but I kind of kept forgetting to mention it. Oops.

R&R mis amigos!


	15. Chapter 15

First off, I'm sorry the last chapter was so rushed. I was in a hurry to get it up it got pretty choppy. Skimped on the development in a few important scenes, especially Denzel. *kicks self* Sorry.

This one may be the opposite extreme because it's fairly slow paced and uber long. Can't seem to find a happy medium these day. Maybe they'll balance each other out, ne?

Ten reviews for one chapter! *insert extremely childish happy dance*. Thank you everyone! Love you all!

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><p><strong>Cloti4life<strong>, yeah I needed Rude to talk to make this work. He talks sometimes, just not much (he's voiced by Crispin Freeman whom I love, so I make note of every line) I missed Cloud's b-day! iie! Gomenasai, Kuroudo-kun!

**022**, names... I have no idea. Do they keep their real names, or do they change them when they become Turks? Cissnei said it's not her real name. The theory I've heard that makes the most sense is that their real names are whatever the player names them in Before Crisis. But then where did they get their known names... this is quite a dilemma indeed.

Sorry! You're right about the labs. That was kind of a fail. Zack and Cloud suffered in vary different ways in the mansion. I was half attributing Zack's mental scars to events prior to Shinra manor, but didn't put that in. Ugh. I fail again. Thank you for correcting and putting up with my fails. And informing me of them before about half of my reviewers read them ^_^ ...I really need to find a Beta.

**Ledah13**, working on the materia issue. It's been so long since I've played FF I kind of don't remember what half of them do *sweat drop*. Kind of address it a little in this chap, but not really... But the Denzel issue is expanded upon, so hopefully that helps you forgive my materia fail. And yes, Johnny Depp is amazing! Possibly my favorite actor of all time. And Tim is weird, but I like him regardless.

**LastOrder,** it kind of mentally pained me to do that to Zack, but after blowing up an entire Sector, I couldn't really let them make it out unscathed. But even as I'm writing I'm thinking "Just hang on, Zack! You'll be alright in a few chapters!"

**AnnaGhost94**, Every review you write makes me smile ^_^. Glad you thought it was accurate. And you're right, fanfiction is often pretty brutal to characters. I read it all the time, but for some reason it was still difficult to write. Maybe it's my inner love of Zack cringing every time I do something horrible to him.

**midnight**+lot of numbers, Zack will find out, but I haven't decided exactly when yet. Working on it. Glad you like it & hanks for the review!

**Oodball**, "I look cooler in the dark" "I liked those pies. They were quite tasty." OMGosh I'm forever in love with your review character conversations!

**HikariNoTenshi-San, **Lol. The last chapter is probably the most morbid thing I've ever written (which is quite surprising considering I'm a regular viewer of Criminal Minds), so I'd imagine some parts were a bit disturbing. Although the part w/ Cloud and Denzel was completely unintentional disturbing-ness. Maybe I should be more concerned if I didn't even try it o.O

**PlayLaughNerd**, Thank you so much! So glad you liked it ^_^ And you certainly succeeded in the witty department.

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><p>If they could manage to temporarily forget that Zack still lay comatose on the couch, life at Elmyra's was actually quite pleasant. It was a quaint, welcoming little cottage and Tifa had a knack for making everywhere feel like home. The morning after their arrival, Barret and Cissnei had done a Sector wide sweep and bought every bit of materia they could find and afford, resulting in the rest of the team being fully restored. Zack was healing, but it would take a few days at least.<p>

To the surprise and amusement of everyone else in the house, it was discovered that Cloud had a gift for attracting children. Withdrawn though he was around adults, he seem to relax around kids and both Marlene and Denzel adored him. They followed him nearly everywhere he went, showing him their drawings, imaginary games, and makeshift toys. Something about his quiet nature somehow kept the two children's undivided attention, and in return he would listen to whatever story they wished to tell him.

Tifa had been compulsively cleaning to calm her nerves when she walked in to find Denzel wielding a fork as a deadly weapon, about to slay dragon-Cloud who held princess Marlene hostage. Cloud wasn't a particularly fierce dragon, as he mostly just stood there and reacted to whatever Denzel and Marlene did, but they didn't seem to notice. He went along with their games like no other adult would.

It was probably as good for Cloud as it was for the kids. He needed a distraction from Zack's situation and no one was better at escaping reality than imaginative children. Today, they were flying all kinds of makeshift aircrafts around the living room.

"And then the helicopter swooped in and rescued the team!" Marlene had a few minutes earlier dubbed the paperclip box, adorned with a few clips bent into a sort of propeller-shape, a helicopter.

"Then a jet came and blew it up!" Denzel exclaimed pretending to shoot the box-copter down with a plane-water bottle.

"It did not!" Marlene denied.

"Maybe the people in the helicopter had parachutes and jumped out," Cloud instantly defused the approaching argument about the fate of those in the helicopter.

"Would they have time to jump?" Denzel asked.

"Probably not," Cloud thought for a moment, "But they could have survived the crash anyway if you changed it so the whole vehicle didn't explode."

"Really?" Denzel inquired, "Don't you think they'd die falling that far?"

"Maybe," Cloud shrugged, "But I was fine, so maybe these people will be too."

"You were in a helicopter crash!" Denzel exclaimed.

"Yeah," Cloud replied, briefly taken aback by Denzel's enthusiasm, "That's how Zack and I met."

"You soldiers are so cool!" Denzel spun around to make his bottle-plane fly faster, "I hope I do stuff like that when I'm older."

"It's really not all it's cracked up to be," Cloud said almost grimacing.

"Actually, I'm glad to hear that, since I probably won't live long enough to do anything exciting or heroic anyway," Denzel muttered cynically as he picked at the label on the water bottle.

"Maybe they'll find a cure," Cloud tried to sound reassuring, but it was difficult to do when he doubted it so much himself. He had debated whether or not to tell Denzel about his own Geostigma as he wanted the boy to know he wasn't alone, but he didn't want Denzel to be under the pressure of keeping his secret. Maybe one day he would, but not now. Even so, that connection was at the base of their friendship, whether Denzel was aware of it or not.

"Here, Cloud! Put this on," Marlene strung a tie she'd found around his neck, "Ties aren't for girls, so I can't wear it, but you can."

Cloud blushed a little when he noticed Tifa watching him, but allowed Marlene to awkwardly arrange the blue and green material around his neck anyway.

"Hey Teef," he said, "Care to join the rescue party?"

"Sure, why not?" Tifa sat down net to Cloud, "So what's the game here?"

"We're trying to get lost hikers off the mountain," Marlene explained.

"The mountain is the coffee table," Cloud added, "Marlene has a helicopter and Denzel has a jet."

"What do you have?" Tifa asked.

"Um... a tie," he answered, "And moral support."

"Or maybe a cable to lower out of the helicopter for the hiker to grab onto," Tifa fixed his tie so it was somewhat straight.

"That could work," Cloud's embarrassment about there being another adult around to see the ridiculous things he was willing to do for the children's games slowly lessened.

"Marlene!" Denzel shouted suddenly, "Let's go get that box of crayons we found upstairs and make a map of the mountain."

The two ran up the stairs and Cloud and Tifa were left alone. They were silent for a moment until Tifa spoke.

"You know, he only talks when you're around"

"Hmm?"

"Denzel," she answered, "Not me, or Cissnei, or Elmyra, or anyone can get him to say more than a few words. He only talks openly or plays around you."

"Really?" Cloud said surprised, "I didn't know."

Rapid little footsteps thundering down the stairs signified the return of Denzel and Marlene, the latter of which also carried a hairbrush.

"Can I braid your hair?" she asked Tifa.

"Uh, sure," Tifa removed the band from the end of her hair and handed it to the little girl.

"It's so pretty," Marlene said as she moved around behind Tifa and went to work, "And so _long_"

"I haven't cut it in ages," she answered, "I've barely trimmed it since Nibelheim."

She noticed Cloud looking at her questioningly and explained, "It's one thing that doesn't change unless I want it to. Maybe that's a little childish, but I want at least something to stay the same."

"I know what you mean," Denzel said as he colored in the paths he had drawn crisscrossing over the map's mountain side, "I like it here. I don't want anything to change anymore."

Cloud wondered if it had sunk in yet, that the boy's family was gone, that his entire world had just collapsed. He doubted it, and he hoped it wouldn't for a while because he had no idea how to comfort people. The emotionally vulnerable always made him nervous. Maybe he could pass that job on to Tifa since seemed to be a master of care taking. Why, with someone like her around, Marlene and Denzel seemed to instead be fixated on him, he couldn't fathom.

"I should probably go help Cissnei," Tifa said after seeing the time out of the corner of her eye. Cissnei had taken over the job of looking after Zack and Tifa was her unofficial assistant.

"Wait! I'm almost done," Marlene quickly finished the long braid down Tifa's back. Pleased surprise spread across Tifa's face as she looked in the mirror, "That's really good!"

Cloud was sure she had expected some kind of knotted mess from a girl so young braiding it, but no one would ever guess it was done by a four-year-old.

"Barret, you have a very talented daughter," Tifa called to the next room, then turned back to Marlene, "It's beautiful. Thank you."

Marlene beamed with pride. Cloud knew they wouldn't be able to stay long. They would only be here until Zack was mobile again, then it would be back to fighting Shinra, but he would enjoy the calm for as long as he could.

* * *

><p>Aerith opened her eyes groggily, confused about why her ceiling was steel gray until the events of the manor flooded her mind.<p>

"Vincent!" she sat up, throwing the white sheet off of her.

"Yes?"

"Oh, thank Gaia, you're alive," she sighed with relief.

"Don't be relieved just yet," Vincent warned her.

"Where are we?" she asked, unsure if she wanted to know.

"Prison, at best," Vincent answered, "And there's someone here I don't think you will be any happier about seeing than I am."

Aerith was about to ask for clarification, but Vincent continued before she'd formed the question, "I had no idea you were so handy with a gun."

"Oh... that," Aerith pulled her knees up to her chest, hugging them close, "Actually... that was the first time I ever killed someone. I know that sounds impossible since I worked for Shinra, but I'd managed to avoid it all this time. The frightening part is... if I can forget that they're people, it no different than shooting the targets. No different at all. It seems too easy an act to have consequences so dire."

"Just pull the trigger, and end a life," Vincent concurred, "far too easy"

"So what happened?" Aerith asked, everything after seeing the syringe was gone, "How did we get here?"

"My apologies," Vincent said, "I lost sight of you for a moment. I heard you scream, but by the time I got to you, you were already unconscious. I attempted to fight them off, but was overpowered and we were both taken back down to the basement and thrown in these cells. You've been out for quite a while. I'm not sure how long as there is no clock or sunlight here."

"You could have escaped without me, couldn't you?" it was more a statement than a question, "Why did you help me?"

"I didn't help you," Vincent told her, "We're locked up and could be dead within the day."

"Fine, why did you _try_ to help me?"

Vincent thought for a moment, "I'm not sure. Maybe because I believe you are right in some of what you said. I cannot change the past, only the future. I could not save Lucrecia, but perhaps if I saved you, my life of mistakes and regrets would still benefit the world somehow."

"Glad to hear it," Aerith's cheer was stolen as she noticed a man who had appeared, now standing outside of their cell.

"No. Not you," her heart sank into her stomach. Now she understood what Vincent had meant earlier, "Anyone but you."

"Hello, ancient," Hojo said sinisterly, "I believe you and I will get along fantastically."

* * *

><p>Cloud lay awake again, hating the night and it's lack of adequate distractions. He never did have an easy time of sleeping after their escape from the manor, but now he hardly slept at all. He'd put too much of his own sanity and stability on Zack, and nearly loosing his foundation shook him to the core.<p>

Memories from the lab were coming back to him in his dreams more and more frequently, the last night even causing him to wake up screaming and scare Tifa in the next room half to death. Every dream he had that wasn't about the lab was about Nibelheim or, the newest nightmare, falling. Just falling into nothing but vast expanses of never ending darkness.

One good thing had happened though. He'd learned the warning signs for his attacks and could control them enough to make it out of sight before his eyes started changing colors. In spite of their increasing frequency, as long as he was in reasonable proximity to an empty room with a locking door, no one would even have to know he was still having them.

He crept down the stairs and sat on the floor in front of the couch Zack was still sleeping on. Cloud had mixed feelings when Zack would stir. He was glad for the signs of life, but whatever memories had him nearly waking were clearly not fond ones.

"Stay away from him"

Cloud's head jerked up in surprise. It was the first truly comprehensible sentence Zack had uttered in his time confined to the sofa.

"You touch him, I'll kill you"

Even after nearly dying, Zack still thought of Cloud more than himself. Cloud was torn between gratitude for Zack's faithful friendship and guilt for being such heavy, long term burden.

"I'm sorry... I couldn't keep my promise"

"You always did talk in your sleep," Cloud muttered, wondering what promise Zack was referring to, "But I'm still never quite sure what goes on in that head of yours."

Instead of exerting the effort to travel back upstairs, he crashed in the nearest chair and, finally, sleep overtook him.

* * *

><p>Cissnei yawned as she slammed the off button on the alarm clock. If only she could just ignore it and go back to sleep. But Elmyra would do all the work herself if Cissnei let her, so she had to get up. She groggily made her way down the stairs to check on Zack before she got to work. Suddenly, she was wide awake.<p>

"Zack, you idiot!" Cissnei yelled at the empty couch. Leave it to Zack to spike her blood pressure the moment he regained consciousness.

"Zack! ZACK!" Cissnei sprinted through the house, searching every corner.

"What's wrong?" Tifa asked, rubbing her eyes as she came down the stairs.

"Zack's gone. I can't find him anywhere," Cissnei checked the next room, "Could you look up stairs? I'll check outside" Tifa nodded and disappeared to the next floor. Cissnei threw the front door open and stepped outside.

"Zack!" there he stood, just outside the house, leaning on the railing to hold himself up. Relief washed over her, "What are you doing out here?"

"I just.. I wanted to see the sky, but I forgot we were in the slums."

Cissnei nodded, all accusation leaving her as Zack continued.

"I did it all the time when we were on the run. It helps me remember..." his voice trailed off, "I forgot what it looked like for a while. I knew that it was blue, but lost any clear memory of how bright it is, or how at night stars come out one by one and sparkle. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't remember the sky."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Cissnei asked, "What happened in the lab, I mean"

Zack shook his head, "I'm alright. It's just good to remind myself I'm free. Besides, what they did to me wasn't nearly as bad as what they put Cloud through. After the first few months, I just watched most of the time."

"Yes but, Zack, you're _you. _You probably would have handled being tortured better than watching someone else be tortured. You say you're fine, but while you were under... you pretty well proved that you're not."

"I screwed up, Ciss. I stayed with Shinra, I _killed_ people for them. What right to I have to dwell on whatever I faced because of it?"

"I guess we're in the same boat there. Murdering people for such a corrupt cause," Cissnei sighed, leaning against the wall. Looking up at the plate above them, she couldn't completely block out the image of the last plate she'd stood under crushing the city below it, "You should probably go talk to Cloud while you're up. Subtracting the time he's spent with the kids, he's constantly looked about four seconds from a heart attack since we've been here."

"Kids?"

"Denzel and Marlene. It turns out, Clouds really good with them."

"Really?" Zack smiled, his old enlivened disposition returning, "That's interesting. Sound's like your doing pretty well. Sorry I had you all so worried."

"Only you," Cissnei rolled her eyes.

"What?"

"Apologizing for almost dying," Cissnei answered, "But yes, you did have us absolutely terrified. By the way, how on earth did you even get out here?"

"Determination and stupidity"

"You don't say? Details?"

"I can put a little weight on the cast, and it turns out IV stands can make a decent crutch."

"You may be able to put some weight on the cast, but that doesn't mean you should. Especially since it's a really crappy cast. We couldn't take you to a real hospital, so we had to just hope for the best with the questionable underground doctor."

"How'd you find one of those?" Zack asked.

"Elmyra's been here a long time. She convinced him to come out here eventually, but we had to wait a couple days," Cissnei braced herself for the outburst.

"Days? How long have I been out?"

"Three," Cissnei answered. After informing Tifa of Zack's return to the land of the living, Cissnei filled him in on their current situation. Zack only nodded in response. Whether he was really that calm, or it was just too much to process at one time, she couldn't tell.

"So Sector Seven's gone," Zack shook his head, "And I thought I'd seen it all"

"So had I," Cissnei concurred. After a moment of silence, Zack changed to a lighter subject.

"So where's this kid-loving Cloud?" Zack was clearly amused by the idea.

"Inside. I'm sure he'd be ecstatic to see you're awake," she lent him her shoulder and helped him slowly make his way indoors, "Or at least as close to ecstatic as Cloud ever gets."

"His last name is Strife. You can't ask for too much in the joy department"

Zack nearly reopened his stitches laughing when he saw Cloud; it was well worth it. Sitting in the middle of the floor between Denzel and Marlene, was the now human canvas of Cloud Strife. Somewhere, the two children had gotten a hold of face paint, but Cloud had long since run out of face for them to paint so his hands were now covered in pictures as well.

"Zack!" Rather than be annoyed or indignant about Zack's amusement at his misfortune, he simply beamed with joy to see his friend able to laugh at all, "So, you're alive!"

"Can't get rid of me that easily," he answered when he could breath, "How did you get dragged into this?"

"I was still asleep in that chair when they started," he pointed to the furniture, "When I woke up, it was too late for there to any point in stopping them."

"It's lovely," Zack said, trying to stop laughing because it made his chest feel like it was about to explode, "I think it's a good look for you."

"Shut up," the elation in Cloud's eyes ruined any amount of threat he had intended to accompany the phrase, "And welcome back"

"Glad to be back," he sank onto the couch, already exhausted from the short trip from the front door to the living room, "Zack is back. Has a nice ring, no? I'd join in the fun with the paint, but I think that might send Cissnei into cardiac arrest."

"You bet it will," Cissnei answered, glaring him down.

"Zack," a quite voice said timidly, "Thank you for telling him to come find me." Denzel stood in front of him, shuffling his feet nervously.

"No problem," Zack said, smiling almost impossibly brightly considering he could hardly stand up. One could still see the fatigue behind his sunny expression, but no one would think he had just all but come back from the dead, "So I hear you and Cloud get along pretty well."

"He's awesome!" Denzel exclaimed, "He told us about some of the stuff you guys did, like how you met in a helicopter crash and he said you used to jump out of them! And he said that you fought a whole army to save him and-" he stopped as he realized everyone in the room was watching him, then finished much more shyly, "And that kind of stuff."

"Wow, Cloud, you've really been singing my praises," Zack grinned, "But you do realize I now have trump card ammunition to use against you in every argument we have for the rest of your life"

"You almost died! Cut me some slack here."

"Not a chance," Zack smirked. Ignoring his earlier compliance to stay on the couch, he used Cissnei as an unwilling human crutch and lowered himself onto the floor beside Cloud and stuck his hand in some of the paint, "Denzel, do you mind if I paint over a couple of your pictures at the top?"

Denzel shook his head and a devious smile spread across Zack's face.

"Hold still," he said as he began to write on Cloud's forehead.

"First day out of your mini-coma and you're already finding new ways to torture me?"

"You bet," he pulled the IV stand closer to give his left arm as close to full rang of motion as he could, "Now stop moving or you're going to end up with blue paint in your eye."

"At least it will match," Tifa had come to watch as well.

"And you know you can get away with it, because right now you could get away with pretty much anything!" Cloud pointed out the injustice.

"An advantage that I will abuse for as long and often as possible," Zack leaned back to admire his work, "Perfect"

"Do I want to know what it says?" Cloud asked. Judging by Tifa's laughter, the answer was no. He got up to look in the mirror. He studied carefully to read it backwards, his scowl growing with every letter.

"Chocobo's Envy. Seriously?"

"Yup"

"Jerk," Cloud muttered.

Zack started to laugh again, but it turned into a cough. He looked down and quickly closed his hand to hide the blood on it.

"You alright?" Cloud asked.

"Fine," he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand to be sure there wasn't any blood visible.

Unfortunately, Cissnei was standing over his shoulder, but she wouldn't say anything in front of the kids.

"How about you guys go play somewhere else?" Cissnei suggested. When the room had cleared of children, she forced Zack's hand open, "Yeah, that's definitely not good."

"Got any materia?" he asked.

"Loads," she replied, quite relieved to be reminded of the fact, "Barret and I went a little nuts and put a sizable dent in our budget. I'm not even sure what all of them are. Here, this one should do the trick."

"Thanks," Zack said, "I guess this is twice I owe you."

"Oh, trust me Zack, you don't owe me _anything,_" Cissnei told him as she activated the materia, "This is just beginning to make it up to you. So where does it hurt?"

"Besides everywhere? Everywhere."

"You're so difficult," Cissnei muttered, "Where does it hurt _the most_?"

"My leg is really killing me, but we should probably take care of the coughing-up-blood issue first."

"It's probably from your laughing fit earlier," Cissnei remarked, "No one do anything funny until he's better, okay?"

"I didn't try to!" Cloud said defensively.

"You never try to," Zack replied, "That's why it's so funny."

"Well, just don't laugh!" Cissnei ordered. Zack flinched as the materia touched him, then relaxed as it began to take effect, dulling the pain immediately.

"How long until I can move around again?"

"I'm not sure," Cissnei answered, "I'm guess about a week."

"Well that sucks," Zack commented.

"You'll live," Cissnei returned the materia to the box on the counter, "Tifa, should we go find Denzel and Marlene? Make sure they're not destroying anything?"

Tifa understood the implication and followed Cissnei, leaving Zack and Cloud alone.

"So how've you been, Spiky?" Zack asked his voice more serious than its previous playful tone, but equally pleasant.

"Awful," Cloud admitted, then rapidly corrected himself, "I mean, everyone's been really great and Elmyra's wonderful for letting us stay here, but-"

"Slow down," Zack told him, "What's wrong?"

Cloud hesitated, fidgeting nervously, identically to when he first joined Shinra as a shy, under confident cadet, unsure of everything he did, "Zack... what happened to us in the manor? I mean... I remember some of what he did, but I can't remember why. What was he even trying to do?"

All brightness vanished from Zack's eyes, "What brought this on?"

"Just memories coming back," Cloud answered. Zack watched him suspiciously.

"Sure that's all?"

"Yeah," Cloud had yet to meet his eyes.

Zack sighed, "I've spent all this time trying to forget. Are you sure you want to remember?"

"I just thought... how can I recover from something if I don't know what I'm recovering from? How do you overcome from something you can't remember?"

"Point taken," Zack yawned, "But do you think we could tackle this one tomorrow? I'm pretty beat."

"Of course," Cloud said. He turned to leave, but stopped after a few steps, "Zack... why did you do all this to save me?"

"Why? Is it really that hard to figure out? You're my best friend"

"Yes but... you almost died. You're strong and outgoing and... just so much better than me. Was my life really worth it? Especially when I'm still depending on you."

"Cloud, look at me," Zack told him. Cloud reluctantly turned around, his slightly watery eyes finally meeting Zack's, "I do not now, nor will I _ever_ regret saving you. I would make the same choice again. I saved you because you are worth saving. Because you're worth dying for."

Zack allowed the words to sink in for a bit, then added in a lighter tone, "Now cheer up, emo kid, before your depression starts rubbing off on me."

"I'll try to make it worth your while," Cloud said, "For as long as I can."

"You make it sound like your on a time limit," Zack remarked.

"We probably are," Cloud replied, "With Shinra trying to kill us, life expectancy drops by the day."

"You're probably right," Zack agreed. He lifted his arms to put his hands behind his head, but discovered halfway that his left shoulder had no intention of moving without violent protest and lowered them again. He growled in mild frustration, then looked back at Cloud, "Alright, I'm done lecturing you."

"Thank you," Cloud then disappeared up the stairs.

"I guess a madman trying to turn you into a monster doesn't help with self esteem issues," Zack mused as he laid back, "Am I handling this mentoring thing alright, Angeal? Because I really have no idea what I'm doing."

* * *

><p>"New mission," Reno's voice was monotone, "Yippee"<p>

Rude said nothing. Not that this was terribly unusual, but he was, if possible, even more silent since their argument. Rude may not speak much to anyone else, but to Reno he would usually at least give some hint of acknowledgment. Now, he was lucky if he got a nod.

"I know you're pissed, but is the silent treatment necessary?" Reno complained, "You have to go pretty far out of your way to cold shoulder me since you don't say anything unless it's important to begin with!"

Rude silently gestured to the form appearing around the curve in the hallway before them.

"Are you out of your mind?" Tseng exclaimed, sprinting toward him.

"Possibly," Reno answered, surprised to see Tseng running at all, much less practicality flying like the devil was chasing him.

"Please tell me you didn't do it"

"You're going to have to be a bit more specific," Reno wondered what he could possibly have done to have Tseng this freaked.

"You really don't know, do you?" Tseng asked in wonder, "President Shinra was just found dead!"

"What? When?"

"Just a moment ago," Tseng said, breathing heavily, "You have to get out of here"

"Why?" Reno asked, not finding any amount of sense in what Tseng was saying, "What does this have to do with me?"

"The President was killed with and EMR," Tseng replied, "They're saying it was you!"

"You can't be serious," Reno's stomach jumped into his chest like he'd just been pushed off a cliff, "And who is 'they' anyway?"

"I don't know," Tseng said, "You're just lucky I found you first. I know this has to be a set up, but there's nothing I can do about it. You have to leave. Now."

"But this can't-"

"Go!"

Reno stood for a moment, too stunned to react, then sprinted blindly down the hallway, automatically following the path he always took to his helicopter, angry voices growing louder behind him. He could see the helicopter as the gunfire started. Bullets bounced off the metal exterior like rain on a tin roof as he jumped into the pilot's seat and flew into the sky.

"WHY?" his angry shout filled cockpit, "Just why? How do we get into this crap?"

His breathing slowed as headquarters disappeared below him. Who had framed him? Shinra? But why would they kill their own President? Rufus would do it, but he was under nearly constant watch. Who would-?

"Sephiroth. Of course," Reno laughed humorlessly, "I guess at least I don't have to choose who's side I'm on now."

* * *

><p>Told you it was long.<p>

BTW, I wasn't kidding about that happy dance. It really happened. I highly recommend it as it is cleansing to the soul. ...I also recommend making sure your door is closed before proceeding. If you forget and the random person who walks by happens to instead of judging, start dancing as well, glomp them immediately and declare them your friend forever.

For maximum effect, play "Everybody Love Me" by OneRepublic in the background.

PS: Can you tell I had waaaaay too much caffeine today?


	16. Chapter 16

Sorry it's late. I've been a little sick the last few days and haven't had the motivation to overcome my writers block. It's sort of a transition chapter and a bit slow, but I hope it's still worth the wait.

100+ reviews! Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed! I'm sorry to say I'm waaay too tired to reply to them all right now and my head is _killing_ me. I'll do it in the next chapter, I promise!

* * *

><p>"Why does the funny guy always die first in horror movies?" Zack wondered out loud as the character on screen met his untimely end, "Once the characters and setting are established, the comic relief guy gets killed off immediately."<p>

"I guess sadists just hate funny people," Cloud shrugged. He inched his hand over to steal one of Zack's m&m's.

"Hey, get your own! You said you didn't want a pack"

"I don't, I just want one"

"Then get a pack out of the cupboard, eat one, and save the rest for later," Zack ordered, "I said I would give my life for you, but I draw the line at my m&ms!"

Cloud slumped back into the coach in defeat as another movie character was bludgeoned, "Why are we even watching this?"

"Because I can't walk and the only other thing on is the news, and that's even more depressing than watching a bunch of generic teenagers get killed by zombies."

"While we're on depressing subjects, do you think you could tell me why my eyes turn green?"

Zack took a deep, drawn out breath, and clicked off the TV, "Well, I don't really know the science behind it, but I know the basic goals."

Cloud watched him intently. What was Hojo trying to turn him into? That was all he really needed to know.

"Hojo wanted you to be a replacement for Sephiroth, only better. You were to be the perfect soldier and ultimate weapon for Shinra. Instead of just making you incredibly strong like Sephiroth, he also wanted to make you unquestionably obedient. You would only be useful if you could be controlled. He would put all kinds of chemical in you."

_"You will be better than him"_

_"You are my greatest creation"_

Cloud's head ached as images of needles and bright lights flashed before his eyes. He could feel his consciousness slipping, loosing control to the monster, but he had to hear this. He had to know. He could fight it back just a little longer.

Zack's fist clenched around the fabric of the sofa, "It was awful. Whatever he injected... I remember the first few months when he was still using me, it felt like fire in your veins. I'm guessing he was using some of the same chemicals on you, just with more success."

Cloud couldn't breath. Pain pounded in his head as voices flooded his mind.

_"You are not a human, you are a weapon"_

_"You will comply soon enough. You will obey me"_

He could see the needle entering his arm, setting his entire body on fire from the inside out. He didn't even realize he was screaming until he felt Zack shaking him.

"Cloud! You're alright, calm down."

He opened his eyes, but everything was tinted green. His mind was a tainted as his vision. Fear, hate, pain, anger. They overwhelmed his senses.

_"Kill him before he kills you"_

Hojo appeared before him. He had to destroy him. He had kill him!

"Cloud"

The calm tone reached him far more deeply than any shout ever could have. He opened his eyes to find himself with his hands wrapped around Zack's neck.

"You done?" Zack's face was stoic and unreadable.

"Zack, I-" he fell back and slumped onto the floor, "I'm so sorry"

"You told Tifa you weren't having these anymore," he said, massaging his neck.

"I-I thought I had it under control," Cloud clutched his still throbbing head.

"Lying to us makes it a lot harder to help you, you know?" Zack didn't look angry, just sad, "I thought you were finally starting to trust us."

"It's not that," Cloud knew how it must look. Even after everything Zack had done for him, he was still lying to him, "I just... didn't want to bother you guys with it."

"Everyone here has a right to know," Zack accused, "What if that happened while you were with Denzel and Marlene? You've been lucky so far, but who knows how long that will last."

"What can you do about? Keep me under constant surveillance?"

"Possibly"

They sat silently until Tifa came rushing in.

"Are you two alright?" she asked "I thought I heard screaming."

"We're fine, Teef," Zack answered, "Don't worry about it."

She looked unconvinced, but said nothing as she left. After a few more moments of awkward silence, Cloud spoke.

"How did you get over it so well? Everything that happened to us."

"Get over it?" he smirked bitterly, "I didn't. Talk to Cissnei, she'll tell you. I've made a lot of progress, but I'm still far from recovered."

"Then how do you keep going like none of it gets to you?"

"I'm not ready to give up yet," Zack answered.

"What do you do..." Cloud knew he was treading in dangerous water and his next question would raise suspicion, "if you have a problem you can't fix. How do you keep going if you know you can't win?"

"You never 'know'," Zack replied, "Just try your best. What more can you really do?"

"But what if your best isn't good enough?"

"Good enough for who? Who decides what's good enough?" Zack answered his own question, "If you tried, there's nothing more you can do. The results may not be what you wanted or even any better than it would have been if you had done nothing at all, but at least you can face whatever fate throws at you with no regrets about how you got there."

"How do you know what's 'best'? How do you know you aren't just going to make things worse?"

"You don't," Zack said simply, "Every action has a consequence. Just accept whatever that consequence may be. Think too much about what you could have done differently to change things and you'll drive yourself crazy. Trust me, I know. I spent four years with nothing but regrets going through my head. Nearly went out of my mind"

"How did you change?"

"I didn't," he admitted, "I think about what I could have done to stop this everyday. I wonder what I did wrong to get us here. I know I should have left Shinra sooner, but there's nothing I can do to change that now. I can't go back and fix everything I wish I had done. And even if I could, would it have changed anything? We might still be here. Sometimes it doesn't matter how hard you try. You can make all the right choices and everything just goes straight to hell anyway."

"Then why try at all?"

"Some amount of peace of mind, I guess. At least then you can sleep at night knowing you gave it your best shot. And who knows. If you keep at it, maybe things will go right for once."

"Maybe," Cloud said skeptically.

"So, can we stop speaking in abstracts and you actually tell me what's going on?"

Another half truth. That's how he'd evade, as he wasn't resolved enough to flat out lie at all convincingly, "The attacks keep getting worse. If it keeps going like this I'm afraid... well, just afraid, I guess."

Zack softened, "We're all afraid, Cloud. None of us know what's going to happen, but we can handle this just like everything else. Even if there's nothing we can do, we'll still face it together, okay?"

"Okay"

Both of their eyes turned toward the door as it opened.

"Heya, everyone," Barret said as he entered.

"Where've you been?" Cloud asked, "I know you like to explore, but you didn't even come home last night."

"Just around. Don't like stayin in one place too long, ya know?" then he noticed Zack, "Hey, he lives!

How ya feelin', SOLDIER?"

"Like a city fell on me," Zack replied.

"Cloud," Tifa entered the room, "You're- Barret, when did you get here?"

"Just now," he answered. Then Tifa turned to Cloud lifting his weapon she was holding.

"Cloud, as a general rule, weapons plus children equals bad. Make sure you put it away somewhere they can't get to it... whatever this gun-sword-thing is. What's it called, anyway?"

"I don't really call it anything. It's not like it can hear me,"

"You should call it something," Zack interjected.

"Can I just call it a Gunblade?"

"That's boring. How about The Terminator," Zack said dramatically, "Or Demislicer. Or Deathshot!"

"I think Terminator's taken," Cloud said dryly.

"The Widow Maker!"

"You're terrible"

"At least I'm not boring"

"Deamonslayer," Barret suggested.

"The pocket knife from hell!" Zack exclaimed.

"Fine, the official name can be terminating-widow-making-demonslayer-from-hell, but I'm calling it Gunblade because it's the only one we'll actually remember ten minutes from now"

"You're no fun," Zack mumbled.

Cloud wondered how Zack could switch from being dead serious to extravagant naming games so quickly. What was he really thinking? It was so hard to tell.

"What about Odin?" Tifa spoke up, "Or maybe Vidar?"

"Those are decent," Cloud said, "Which one?"

"Odin was like Norse Zeus. Vidar was the god a silence and death. A good name for a weapon, don't you think?"

"I vote Vidar," Zack said, Barret nodded in agreement.

"Alright, Vidar it is," Cloud agreed.

* * *

><p>"You're a monster, you know that?" Aerith said through the bars, "So how long before you take me back to the lab?"<p>

"Oh, you can relax for a little while," Hojo said bitterly "A certain Turk claims that you accepted his offer to join them just before your disappearance. If so, you are his employee and under his jurisdiction. If this were true, I would have a political battle with the Turks over your custody. Although with the mistrust toward the Turks and Shinra's desire to find the promised land it is surely a fight I would win, I would prefer to skip all of that paperwork. I'm highly doubtful that you really are a Turk, so it would be much less troublesome for me to simply prove my suspicion, then get to work after that without the legal mess."

"So personal rights aren't even involved in this 'legal mess.' It's only a matter of who's prisoner I am? This company may be even sicker than I thought."

"Well, of course none of this is legal, dear, but as long as I don't bother any of the other branches, they simply ignore me and allow me to do as I wish. As long as I provide results, that is."

"So how long do I have?"

"Depends how much power Tseng has retained in Shinra. It could be a couple days, it could be a week. Not that a few days delay is going to matter in the long run. I can wait."

"I would tell you you're a sick, twisted, monster, but you really wouldn't care, would you? It makes no difference to you if I hate you or not."

"That is correct"

"I think it would be less infuriating if you had some grudge against me, or hated me. The fact that you just simply don't care is far worse than any amount of disdain."

"Hatred comes in quantities. Indifference is limitless."

* * *

><p>"I should probably go do something productive," Cloud said standing to leave.<p>

"Is there anything to do that doesn't require moving around much?" Zack called after him.

"Dishes," Cloud answered, "You can wash and I'll put them away."

Using the crutches they had purchased so Zack could at least get around the first floor without help, he followed Cloud to the kitchen. Once the two of them had figured out the rhythm of system and were working efficiently, Denzel and Marlene chose then to decide they wanted to help. Cloud, quite happy to give up his position, explained the process to the younger generation.

"You can roll up the towel to dry inside the glass," Cloud directed Marlene's hands with his own, "And Denzel, that goes on the top self, I'll get it."

Denzel took up the job of rinsing instead. A heavy pot slipped from his hand into the water, splashing it all over an unsuspecting Zack.

"Sorry!" Denzel exclaimed, grabbing a towel.

"No, it's okay," Zack said, "That actually gives me an idea."

He scooped up some of the bubbles currently rising out of the sink and waited until Cloud was in range to slap them onto the back of his neck.

"What the he-!" Cloud stopped remembering their current company, "You know we're going to have to clean up whatever mess you make. And since you're stationary, 'we' means me."

"Lighten up, Spiky," he went back to washing. Cloud took his revenge with a large handful of bubbles to the side of Zack's head. At a disadvantage with his inability to move, he resorted to his ultimate weapon: the spray hoes on the back of the sink.

"I surrender!" Cloud threw his hands up in defeat, knowing from the Shinra days than once Zack played the sprayer trump card, defeat was imminent, "You know, we're terrible examples. We're in our twenties and still act like teenagers."

"Hey, I missed the last two years of being a teenager. And you missed four, so by rights we only have to act 18 and 16. We're just making up for our lost youth."

A high, soft voice broke off their conversation.

"Cloud... I forget again," Marlene said looking down at her feet. There was no farther verbal communication necessary.

"Cissnei wasn't lying. You are good with kids," Zack commented as he watched Cloud once again walked Marlene through the steps of tying her shoes, "I hereby appoint you godfather of my future children."

"Do you want kids?" Cloud asked, showing Marlene the step of pulling the shoelace through the loop.

"Yeah. Someday, I guess," Zack had never really thought about it before, "If our lives are ever sane enough to settle down and have a family. And there's the getting married part that come first."

"I hope you find her," there was no need to specify who.

Slipping just out of earshot of the others, Denzel approached Tifa.

"Tifa," he asked, "What's wrong with Cloud? He told me he was sick, but he never said what's wrong with him."

"He said he was sick?" Tifa was caught between worry and confusion. He wasn't 'sick' as far as she knew. He must have been having the attacks again, "It's a little hard to explain what Cloud has."

"How did he get it?" Denzel asked, his blue eyes deeply concerned for the fate of his new best friend and hero. What a selfless child, to be dying and still worried about someone else being sick.

"He-" Tifa searched for words. Cloud's situation was all but impossible to describe without saying something horrifying, "He was exposed to some dangerous chemicals while he was still with Shinra and they made him sick."

"Is he going to get better?"

Tifa was suddenly brought back to the scream she'd heard earlier and was quite sure Cloud had lied when he said the episodes had stopped. She wished she had a more comforting answer, "I don't know"

* * *

><p>"Should you accept my offer, you can start as early as tomorrow," Tseng told the blonde, "But under the current circumstances, I will understand if you decline"<p>

"I understand, sir," Elena answered, "However, I still believe the Turks are the most skilled and capable branch of Shinra"

"It's not a matter of skill," Tseng told her, "It's a matter of reputation. Three Turks are MIA and two of them are suspected traitors. They may believe they have sufficiently intimidated me into behaving for a while, but do not be surprised if I am killed any day now."

"Yes, sir"

"You're a good bit more formal than the man you're replacing," Tseng remarked, "Good luck in the new field."

"Thank you, sir" she hesitated, but decided to ask regardless even if it wasn't entirely her business,

"Sir... if you're expecting to die, why do you stay?"

"There's still one more battle I have to fight. I can't win this, but I can at least delay," Tseng replied, "I have to do this. Not for Shinra, but for myself."

Elena nodded, unsure of what he meant, but understood it was a personal matter she need not involve herself in. She was in a similar situation.

_"Why are you doing this?" Elena asked_

_"You're going to have to be a bit more specific," he sister replied patronizingly._

_"You weren't assigned this mission, you volunteered for it. Don't you know what's been going on in Wutai?"_

_"No. No one does," she replied, "That's why I'm going. We need to find out what's really happening there"_

_"And what if you don't come back like half of the other missions?"_

_"Awww. Are you going to miss your dear sister?" she said with false endearment. _

_"I couldn't care less whether you make it back or not," Elena answered coldly, "But if you die, I'm going to have to deal with mourning parents."_

_"Maybe mom would be upset, but you know father would just be disappointed in the failure," she contradicted, "But if you're that worried, you could come along. I'm sure they'd love to have a grunt around to carry bags."_

_"Fine, go. I'd rather deal with grieving parents than put up with you. Die for all I care."_

_"You're that jealous," she said shrewdly, "You'd actually want to get rid of me?"_

_"Go to hell," Elena turned to leave._

_"See you around, little sister," she called as she boarded the helicopter, "but who knows, maybe you will get lucky and I won't come back after all."_

She had known it was a dangerous mission, but she had never honestly thought that would be the last time she would ever see her sister. They had been fighting for years, but she had never really hoped something like this would happen. If only she could take it back.

She would make up for it now. She would take the first mission to Wutai she could get and find Anna. If she was even still alive.

* * *

><p>A week later, Zack was back to his usual self. Or at least he claimed to be and was close enough to pass Cissnei's inspection.<p>

_"Hold down the fort for me, okay, Denzel?"_

Cloud had put on a good brave face, but Zack could still see the lament in his eyes as he said those words. Zack could hardly bare to drag Cloud out of such a comfortable life to go back out into a world that wanted them dead, but it couldn't be helped. There was no fighting Shinra from a calm, pleasant life and where he went, Cloud followed. He soon found himself on a train leaving Midgar.

"A little different from the ride in, huh, Spiky?" Zack remarked.

"I don't remember," Cloud replied

"That's probably best," Zack scratched the back of his head.

"I wish the lab hadn't screwed up my earlier memories too"

"You mean you forget things from before the labs?" Zack couldn't believe he hadn't noticed earlier, "How much?"

"I remember bits and pieces. Enough to know things like my name and where I lived. I remember the day my dad died and that mom... wasn't quite right after that. I remember Tifa, and I remember hating her friends. Everyone blamed me for Tifa getting hurt after her mom died, but I can't remember why. I remember meeting you in a helicopter crash... but not much else"

Zack thought back. Did he have any memory loss? Nibelhiem was a blur, but he still remembered growing up in Gongaga. His years in SOLDIER were as clear as day. Everything else was in tact.

"Why didn't you tell me this before?"

Cloud shrugged, "It never came up. I didn't really notice at first, but Tifa kept telling me things that happened in Nibelhiem that I can't remember. Some of it seems vaguely familiar, but there's a lot missing. I tried to remember the things she told me about, but the more I tried to think back, the more I realized I didn't remember most of my life. I don't really know who I was before I woke up in Seventh Heaven."

Memories were what had kept Zack going. His memories of the people he loved and who he was fighting for had given him the strength to make it to Midgar. Without them, he wasn't sure how he wouldn't have given up. Cloud was fighting without any motivation other than Shinra had done horrible things to them and his friends were fighting too. Zack wondered if that would have been enough for him.

"I'm going to _kill_ Hojo," Zack could feel the hate rising again and took a deep breath to calm himself

"Tifa and I can tell you what we remember, and maybe some of it will come back," Zack made a mental note to tell Tifa about Cloud's memory loss. She was the only one who could tell him about Nibelhiem and anything that happened before he joined the Shinra infantry.

Cloud opened his mouth to respond when Tifa came bursting through the door. Zack had forgotten that she, being the least conspicuous of the group, had been checking the train for Shinra security.

"They know we're here," she whispered frantically, "Someone saw us get on the train. The guards will be back here any minute."

"We're almost there," Zack whispered back, "If we split up they might not notice us as quickly"

"They'll check everyone getting off the train," Cissnei said nervously.

"We could go out through a window," Cloud suggested.

"That's insane," Zack scratched the back of his head again, "But it might work. Do we have time to wait until the train stops, or will they search the car before that?" Tifa ran to the door and peered through the small glass pane in the center.

"They're coming now," she grabbed Zack and Cloud's forearms and ran to the next car, Barret and Cissnei right behind them.

Tifa locked the door behind them. Luckily, they were the only ones in the car. "So how are we getting out of here?"

"Window," Zack repeated Cloud's idea. A moment later there was the sound of someone's foot smashing into the door, "How long to you think it will take for them to break the door down?"

"But we can't get off the train now. We aren't out of Midgar yet"

"We're not" Zack replied "We'll ride on top of the train and jump off the moment we're out of the city... And hope the train doesn't go under any low bridges"

Just as he had finished speaking, a gunshot shattered the door lock. The door flew open under the force of the guard's powerful kick.

* * *

><p>Blarg. I didn't really want to end it there, but I have to get up early tomorrow, so staying up until 4 again probably isn't the best of ideas. I know this was pretty slow, but they aren't going to have any "normal life" time for a while, so I thought I'd get it all in now.<p>

Ja ne!


	17. Chapter 17

**Berkie88**, Thank you so much! That's one heck of a review XD I don't know where to begin replying. Especially since it's almost 3 in the morning. I love Cloud/Denzel family fics, so I was pretty happy when I found an opportunity to put some in. I thought it would be creepier if Sephiroth could get away with some of his crazy stuff. And yeah, Tsengs in trouble. Poor guy. So glad you liked it! Thanks for reviewing!

**PlayLaughNerd**, you make me smile as always ^_^ I love writing Zack messing with Cloud.

**AnnaGhost94**, Thank you! Whether funny, or dark Zack & Cloud friendship moments are usually my favorite to write, so I'm glad to hear you liked them. Aerith putting up with Hojo... poor girl.

**Cloti4life**, They got married? We always knew it was destine to be! So glad I could make your day brighter :D I love writing Zack & Cloud moments. Pulchritudinous = EPIC! I'm going to start yelling this at people I don't like. I'll look smart, they'll think I'm insulting them, and if anyone says anything I can just say "It means beautiful. What did you think I was saying?" There's just no way to loose here.

**ledah13, **Reading a chapter more than once is pretty much the highest praise I could ever be given. Thank you! And I thought w/ ff7, it just has to be Norse. Glad you approved of my adaptation of your scene :)

**022**, I love reading your reviews! They're so elegant sometimes I'm under pressure just to make my story match the beauty of the reviews. I must say, Hojo's last line is one of he better things I've come up with in my life time. I'm a little confused with the Jenova cell thing. How does that work?

Psychology rant warning!

I had some child development in my last psychology class and I tried to remember what a 4 year old would be capable of. I researched a little online to find "Tying a shoe requires a level of dexterity most kids don't possess until they're between 5 and 7." Marlene is brilliant, but she is still a child. Age 4 is in the preoperational phase when speech is still egocentric and perceptions dominate judgment. Even if she was 6 like in AC, she would still be too young to understand the reasoning behind right and wrong beyond "it's what authority told me to do." I love FF7, but they overestimate the development of cognitive functions in a child that young. Marlene wouldn't be able to start acting like an adult in a child's body until she was about 7 or 8.

That was about a response and a half, but when psychology comes up, sometimes I just can't help myself.

**LastOrder1**, Thank you! Yeah, poor Aerith. Stuck with that sociopath :p

**Oodball**, "Children, would you look to another side while I'm disemboweling him?" Hahaha! I love your reviews. And of course I will kiss it better. And for your threat to turn Hojo into bloodstains on the walls... Do it! Do it! Do it!

**Jadj.j**, Thank you!

**Jedi Padfoot**, Thanks so much!

* * *

><p>"Go!" Zack shouted. His instincts took over; fighting had become a second nature. He swung hard into the first man. He was only a guard; he never had a chance. Zack glanced over his shoulder to check on the progress. Cissnei was halfway through the window while Barret and Tifa were already out. He watched as Cissnei disappeared onto the roof and gestured to Cloud to go next.<p>

A bullet whizzed past his left ear. Four more troops. He shook off the deja vu and charged just as he had with the last group, but this time just as he reached them, he dropped and swept two of the men's legs out from under them with the blunt edge of the sword. There was a sickening crack as the leg of the front man broke. He used his forward moments to continue into a roll and jumped to his feet behind the next guard. Zack swung with the flat side of his sword into the back of the man's head. That was three. Where was the fourth?

He spun around to find himself staring down the barrel of a gun, but the troop didn't pull the trigger. In fact, he didn't move at all. Then he saw the blade end protruding from the man's chest. The guard fell to reveal Cloud standing behind him.

"Thanks," Zack saw out of the corner of his eye one of the first men getting back up, "You don't want to do that" Zack warned. The troop ignored him and fired. Zack instinctively blocked the shot which ricocheted back and struck the man in the upper left part of his forehead.

"Told you," Zack muttered smirking humorlessly, almost grimacing. He shook his head, shaming karma for it's twisted sense of humor and checked the other dead man for money. After pocketing 40 gil, he turned to Cloud, "We should go."

They quickly climbed up to the roof, Cloud forced to go first by Zack.

"I was startin' to think I was gonna have to go back down and getcha," Barret said pulling Zack the rest of the way up.

"We had it under control," Zack tried to sound confident, but was far too sick of fighting for his life at every turn to do so. He adjusted the backpack he was carrying, "It would be much easier if Cissnei hadn't made us pack so much."

"I was just being prepared," she defended.

"Well preparedness weighs a ton," he muttered, "I guess we can't get off until the train is out of Midgar, so... now we wait?"

"Now we wait," Tifa confirmed. Zack took advantage of the temporary peace and sat down, "We'll just hope those were the only troops on the train."

The words had barely left his mouth when he jumped up as bullets flew through the ceiling of the train, "Fine, screw you, hope."

They ran to the next car, bullets flying up behind them and soon, guards were climbing onto the roof after them. Zack felt like he was 16 again, running through the simulator. Only this time, these really were Shinra troops. Instead of being trained by Shinra, they were set on killing him. Worse, Angeal wasn't there to rescue him if it went wrong this time.

He ran through the troops, fighting like he had on that day seven years ago. He was no longer the carefree teenager he had been then, but one thing had not changed. The troops were no match for Zack Fair.

At least at first. They kept coming endlessly, for each man he took down three more appeared. Then, in a flurry of blue clothes and blonde hair, Cloud was at his side. A little of Zack's old SOLDIER confidence returned. Angeal may be gone, but Cloud had his back now.

Tifa was the next to join the fight. She ran at the first man, grabbing his gun from his hands before he had time to shoot it. Then she sprang onto on man's shoulders and did a front flip over him, shooting him down from behind with his own gun while airborne. She landed slamming her foot into a second man's head. Aerith would always be his one love, but he had to admit, Cloud had good taste.

Tifa continued fighting with an expert display of her martial arts skills. Zack had just cut through three out of four troops with one slash when a red shiriken flew by, striking the fourth. Cissnei sprinted past him, reclaiming her weapon as she passed the fallen troop. Barret then mowed down an entire row single handed.

Zack had just finished off the last of the troops currently on the roof as the train passed the outer wall of Midgar, "Time to go"

"This sounded like a good idea," Tifa peered cautiously over the edge of the train, "But now that we're about to do it, I realize this is completely insane"

"We've jumped off of trains before," Zack shrugged, "I'll go first"

"Not going full speed! Zack, wait!" Tifa shouted as Zack ran to the edge to the train and front-flipped over the side. Cloud followed immediately, as though they'd practiced it. She met Cissnei's equally apprehensive eyes.

"On three?" Cissnei stood at the edge beside her. Tifa nodded.

"One.. two... THREE!" they yelled in unison and together jumped off the moving train.

* * *

><p>"Good morning, Miss Gainsborough," Hojo said as the barred door swung open, "Would you care to join me for a walk?"<p>

"Not in the slightest," Aerith replied bitterly.

"Suit yourself," Hojo shrugged, "Although I would think you would like to get a look at your surroundings. Or maybe you would like to learn a thing or two from me. Like what happened to your dear Zackary."

Aerith glared at him, but couldn't completely hide that he had caught her interest.

"How does this sound," he continued, "For everything you tell me about your abilities as an Ancient, I'll tell you something about Fair."

Aerith soon found herself walking around Nibelheim... handcuffed to Hojo.

"You answer first," she demanded, "If Zack was a Shinra employee, why was he handed over to you?"

"He saw things he shouldn't have," Hojo replied, "He witnessed another Shinra employee burning this entire place to the ground. To keep it under wraps, he would have to either be imprisoned or killed. Really, I did him a favor. He would probably be dead if I hadn't taken him."

Aerith restrained herself from expressing her opinion of keeping Zack locked in the basement as a human lab-rat for four years being dubbed a 'favor' and instead asked, "I'm guessing that employee was Sephiroth?"

"Answer one of my questions and I'll tell you," Hojo replied, "Do you ever hear the planet talking to you?"

"Yes," she said simply.

"You're going to have to do better than that," Hojo told her. She briefly described the voices from the lifestream she heard, leaving out as much helpful information as possible. He then told her that the last time he had seen Zack was a few months ago when he escaped with another prisoner named Cloud Strife. She told him about her gifts with wildlife, and he told her Zack had been sighted in Midgar. They walked an entire lap around the town exchanging information like this, only stopping when they walked near a flowerbed.

"These are lovely," Aerith felt the gentle flower girl she'd buried during her time working for Shinra reawaken. That side of her quickly returned to the back of her mind as she remembered she was with Hojo.

"I'll talk to you more tomorrow, Ancient," he said as she was returned to her cell. Vincent was asleep again, so the cell was as silent as it was empty.

"I'm not giving up," Aerith told herself firmly, "I am not going to die here."

* * *

><p>"Reno, are you out of you mind?" Tseng whispered into the phone, "Do you know what will happen to me if I'm caught communicating with you?"<p>

"Relax, Tseng," Reno said casually on the other end, "Only the Turks have this number, right? Aren't situations like this exactly why you bought a second phone under a fake name?"

"All the same, every second I'm on here with you, my life expectancy shortens"

"Then I guess you should hurry up and get to the point."

"Tseng pinched the bridge of his nose, "I'm trying to keep Aerith out of Hojo's hands. You feeling up to a rescue mission?"

"Where to?"

"Nibelheim"

Reno muttered something unintelligible, then said, "Alright, back into the lion's den it is."

* * *

><p>"Is everyone here?" Zack asked as he watched Tifa help Barret up from his less than graceful landing.<p>

"I think so," Cissnei rotated her wrist flinching.

"You alright?"

"Yeah. It's fine. Just landed on it funny"

"Jumping off of trains," Cloud's hand was on his problem shoulder again, "was not on my agenda for today."

"I'm sure we've done crazier," Zack replied casually. Then his carefree expression vanished, "You're bleeding."

Cloud pulled his hand away from his shoulder to reveal a crimson stain and examined the blood on his fingers, "It'll be fine. Don't worry about it."

"What do you mean don't worry about it? That's a nasty cut," Zack argued.

"Our first priority is to get out of here before Shirna shows up with more men and a helicopter to kill us. We can take care of it later."

Zack hated to admit it, but Cloud had a point. In addition to that, he guessed Cloud wouldn't be too thrilled about anyone else seeing the scars from Hojo's experiments.

"This means more walking, doesn't it?" Barret joined them, screwing a piece of his gun-arm back into place. It was a rhetorical question, "Great"

They soon retreated to the protection of the surrounding forest to avoid the nearly all-seeing eyes of Shirna.

"So how are ya supposed to live in the middle of the woods?" Barret asked no one in particular.

"You have three country kids with you," Zack answered, "We'll be fine"

After about twenty minutes of walking, they took a break for Cloud to wrap up his shoulder, but he still refused to let them fully dress it "until he was sure they were safe." As if they could ever be sure of that, and the quick bandage came off a half hour later, but Zack let it go noticing Cloud seemed usually tired and a bit too irritable for it to be worth fighting him.

Three hours later, they were no longer able to find their location on the map, but luckily, Cissnei had brought a compass, so even if they didn't know where they were they could still be sure they were moving in the right direction. Conversation had died over an hour ago and been replaced by the awkward silence of ever increasing fatigue and boredom.

"Anyone want to hear a joke?" Zack asked.

"Not really," Barret answered.

"A cat goes into a 50 story building and jumps out," Zack continued, ignoring him, "He doesn't land on anything to cushion his fall and is unhurt. How did he-?"

"I've heard this before," Cloud yawned behind him, "The cat jumped out of the first floor."

"Wrong!" Zack shouted, spinning around and pointing at him dramatically, "Cats land on their feet. Jelly toast lands jelly side down. A cat glued to a piece of jelly toast will hover eternally in quantum indecision! Therefor, the cat jumped out on a piece of jelly toast."

Cloud simply stared at him for a while before shaking his head, "Zackary Fair, what would we do without you?"

"Shrivel up and die of boredom. And possibly- Ouch!" Zack stumbled as his leg snagged on more thorns, "I swear if I'm caught in one more of these things, I will go SOLDIER on this stupid forest and start whacking down trees."

"Aren't we trying to _save_ the planet?" Cissnei replied.

"There are plenty more," Zack mutter.

"Where are we even goin'?" Barret groaned.

"To the shore," Zack answered, "Then to Wutai."

"Why?"

"Shinra has been more and more involved there. It seems like a good place to start," Cissnei said, "Can we look for a payphone first town we hit? I'd like to call Tseng before we leave the continent."

"That's pretty risky," Zack told her.

"I know. If Tseng is caught talking to me, it could get him killed. He has a second emergency cellphone he bought under a different name that only the Turks know about, but Shinra may have found out about it and tapped that line as well as his main phone. It's dangerous, but I think it would be worth it to find out what Shinra's up to."

"Isn't it dangerous for _us_ too?" Barret added, "If them Shinra bastards trace the call back to this area, they'll know where we are."

"I'll make the call right before we leave," Cissnei fought with a thorny branch caught on her pant leg.

"How do ya know he'll help ya?" Barret asked, "You're a traitor right now, aren't ya?"

Cissnei paused, "He told me to run at the plate drop. I'm sure he wanted us to get out alive. I can't guarantee he would help us, but I don't think he would sell us out."

"You _think_. Ain't that reassuring"

Cissnei ignored him, "It's getting dark. We should make camp for the night."

"Camping. Joy," Barret muttered.

'Camp' turned out to be little more than a few sleeping bags laid out as everyone was too tired to put much effort into it.

"We're going to need a fire," Cissnei said, stifling a yawn, "Anyone feeling up to the task of getting wood?"

"On it," Zack replied equally sleepily, "Cloud, how about you come with me?"

Cloud nodded and followed. Once they had made it about 30 yard into the trees, Zack stopped at the crest of a steep hill, deciding it was far enough to reveal his real reason for bringing Cloud with him.

"You still haven't fixed your shoulder yet. Is it because you don't want anyone to see the scars? I understand if it is. I'm not particularly comfortable with it either, but you're going to have to get used to it."

"It's not that bad," Cloud said, picking up a few sticks for kindling, "I can handle it myself."

"That's what you say about everything," Zack pressured a little harder, "You've been even more quiet than usual and now that I really look at you, you look like death warmed over. What's wrong? Are you sick or something?"

"I'm fine"

"Right," Zack was obviously unconvinced.

"I'm just tired. Who isn't? It's not a big deal."

"You're always tired lately," Zack pointed out, "That's why I'm worried."

"I'm fine"

"Is it the dreams again? Cloud, whatever it is, you can tell me"

"I'm fine, Zack"

"Don't lie to me," he wasn't going to let it go this time.

"Why don't you mind your own business, Fair," Cloud's voice was uncharacteristically cold.

"Because I've spent the last four years protecting you. I'm not going to let you go now," Zack felt the jagged, half-healed edges of Angeal's betrayal and death tearing into him once again. Maybe he was being paranoid, but couldn't bare to loose Cloud like he lost Angeal, "You don't have to deal with everything alone, you know."

"You can't help me"

"Let me try"

Cloud looked at him with innocent, almost childlike blue eyes, torn between the relief of letting his guard down, and the safety of his walls. He was shaking again. Whether it was due to a possible oncoming attack, or needing an escape from the choice before him, he dropped everything in his hands and ran.

"Cloud!" Zack shouted, running after him and catching his forearm.

"Let me go!" he shouted back.

"No," Zack's voice was calm, even, and immutable. Cloud tried to throw him off.

"Fine, if that's how you want it," Zack lunged, knocking Cloud off his feet. Cloud grabbed Zack and rolled him onto the bottom as they fell to the ground. Cloud's added motion sent the two of them tumbling down the hill through the brush. When they finally came to a stop and the world had stopped spinning, Zack was the first to speak.

"Way to go, chocobo head"

"Me!" Cloud exclaimed indignantly, "You're the one who tackled me, I just fought back. It was self defense. Any jury would side with me."

"Well, you deserved it," Zack replied with a smirk.

"You started it," Cloud folded his arms across his chest. Zack shook his head, laughing softly, more out of exhaustion than amusement.

"What's so funny?" Cloud asked, annoyed.

"I think we're both morons"

Cloud glanced down at his dirt covered clothing and scratched hands, then back at the mess that was Zack, "I think you're right."

"Cloud," Zack rested his arm on his knee, "Just hear me out. I know these last few years have been hard, but it won't be as bad if we don't have to face it alone."

Zack stood up and reached a hand out to Cloud, "Please, let me help you."

Cloud looked down at the ground.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, "I can't"

Zack dropped his hand to his side. What more could he do? He was about to leave when he noticed that Cloud's already ripped shirt had torn more on the way down.

"Why are there already bandages on?" Zack asked studying the tear more closely. Cloud quickly covered it with his hand, but it was already too late. Zack yanked his hand away and pulled back the cloth to reveal the blood was mixed with black fluid.

"It that..." He couldn't bring himself to say it out loud, so Cloud finished for him.

"Geostigma"

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><p>I have part of the next chapter written, so it shouldn't be too long before I update again. Thanks for reading! Reviews are greatly appreciated!<p> 


	18. Chapter 18

Such a cruel place to leave you guys hanging. Sorry about the wait, but it couldn't really be helped. Since he probably won't be around anymore next summer, my aunt wanted to take my grandfather on one last trip up to his cabin, which is no easy feat. especially with the huge oxygen tank. As far as technology goes up there, we're lucky if we can receive phone calls.

On a lighter note, I found inspiration on this trip! Mostly from spending large amounts of time with 2 of my older cousins, both in their early 20's, one with blonde hair and the other with black, and one actually named Zack while the other's name starts with a C. Twilight Zone! o.O Although, they drink a good bit more than Zack and Cloud...

The icing on the cake is that they taught me how to ride a motorbike, so if Fenrir ends up in this, I'll actually sort of know what I'm talking about!

This chapter is 90% angst, so brace yourselves. And there's a lot of exploring Cloud's head that doesn't really advance the plot, I just felt like writing it.

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><p><strong>AnnaGhost94<strong>, Thank you! Cloud is probably the most interesting character to me & I love writing about his personal battles. Which there is a ton of in the chapter.

**Cloti4life, **I get your mixed feelings. I think sometimes it's harder to be the person watching than the person dying.

**Ledah13**, Lol. Barret is kinda walks to the beat of his own drum. And now I'm hungry for jelly toast.

**Shinra-ex-SOLDIER, **love the new name! Don't worry about messing up. You've seen how many times I've done it, and people are still reading XD. I thought since Tifa didn't have much time in this chapter, I had to give her a good battle moment. Glad to hear I pulled it off ^_^ Aerith and Hojo creeps me out and I'm the one who wrote it!

**Ohjay**, It took me a while to figure out Zack's reaction, so I ended up with a little of everything in it.

**LastOrder, **Thanks! I love writing Zack & Cloud.

**Oodball, "**it's a severe narcolepsy mixed with some claustrophobia. I mean, no one can be emo enough to do this, right?" Bwhahahaha! Vincent raises the bar for emo-ness. Aerith is definitely the hardest for me to write because I've changed her circumstances so much. Thanks for the review!

**PlayLaughNerd, **Thank you so much! Sorry it took so long to get up!

**Trisno**, Cloud isn't taking off just yet but, *spoiler alert*, he'll likely be leaving later after a bit more drastic incident.

**HikariNoTenshi-San, **Le gasp! I'm not the only person who says "le gasp!" Thanks for reviewing!

**Chriscro165**, Thanks for reviewing! And it took a while, but at least I updated eventually.

**Midnight13731, **Sorry it took so long! Hopefully the chapter lives up to expections.

**Key and Lock, **Thank you so much! Really, that means a lot :D. I'll start looking for a way to work Red XIII into the story if I can.

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><p>For those who don't really care about responses or what I've been doing these last few days:<p>

**STORY STARTS HERE**

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><p>Cloud braced himself, expecting Zack to be furious; to start yelling about how he had lied to them all; to chew him out for deceiving the people who cared him the most. But he showed no signs of anger. In fact, he didn't do anything. He just stared blankly until finally speaking in an emotionless, monotone voice.<p>

"How long?"

"How long have I had it, or how long do I have left?" Cloud was made more nervous by the calm question than any amount of yelling could have.

"Both"

"I've had it since a few week after we got to Seventh Heaven. I most likely have another few months left. A year at most," Cloud waited anxiously for Zack to process what he was saying. Zack sank back onto the ground, eyes still vacant and unseeing.

"Why didn't you tell me?" his usual cheerful optimism was gone, replaced by pain and betrayal.

"You went through so much to save me," Cloud wrapped his arms around himself protectively, as though that could shield him, "I couldn't bring myself to tell you I was just going to die anyway. I told you it wasn't worth it to save me."

Zack said nothing for a moment of heavy silence, then suddenly ran into the trees off to their right. Cloud flinched as he heard Zack collapse and throw up a few yards in, but made no motion toward him.

He wished he could make Zack forget, erase this last tragedy from his mind, but he couldn't deny part of him was relieved. Worried though he was about how Zack would recover from this latest mental blow, he was glad that at least he wouldn't have to lie anymore.

Zack would probably be angry later when the shock wore off. Did he do the right thing? Had his lies given Zack a few months of peace, or just made things worse?

He decided to leave him alone for a while, so after carefully recovering his Geostigma with a few more bandages, he picked up his rather pathetic pile of wood at the top of the hill and return to the rest of the group.

"That sounded like a pretty intense discussion," Tifa commented, "Where's Zack?"

Cloud threw his kindling onto the pile. Resorting to his last defense of total numbness, his voice came out emotionless and hollow, "Just leave him be for a while."

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><p>Zack staggered a few more feet in before he collapsed onto his hands and knees. Before he realized he was breaking, tears were dotting the ground below him.<p>

This couldn't be real. He had lost so much already. Angeal was dead, Shinra had betrayed him, he hadn't dared to see his parents and risk Shinra coming after them, and Aerith was Gaia knew where, but he had pushed through it all. He had told himself if he could just save one friend, it would all be worth it. If he could just save Cloud, he could face whatever else fate threw at him. Was that really so much to ask?

Zack had done everything he could to keep Cloud safe, but this was the one thing he couldn't protect him from. There was no defense against Geostigma. He couldn't do anything but watch as it slowly killed his best friend. There wasn't even a goal for him to set. There was no glass to break through this time.

He stood with no set direction other than he needed to _break_ something. But there was nothing to break out in the middle of the woods.

"Damn it!" Zack screamed, pounding his fist into the nearest tree, "Damn it! Damn it! DAMN IT!"

He tried so hard and it was all for nothing. It didn't matter what he did, it wouldn't change anything. He let out a scream of frustration as he sank back to his knees, only still upright by putting all of his weight on the great wooden trunk. He took a deep, shaky breath and turned to lean his back against it, as though he was just taking a break. Like everything was fine.

Silence surrounded him, broken only by the occasional chirp of a bird. His breathing slowed as the calm of the forest began to wear off on him.

This was not the time to loose it. Even if he didn't show it, Cloud must be more afraid than Zack was. He needed to help his friend now more than ever. But what more could he do for Cloud? He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, trying to regain control.

He had told Cloud not to give up, so how could he? After everything Zack had done to keep them alive, he would not give up now. Maybe they _would_ find a cure. Even if they didn't, he would make the most of the time Cloud had left. It wasn't over yet.

He picked himself up and made his way back to their makeshift camp, but it wasn't until he got there that he realized he should have prepared something to say. All eyes were on him as he came into view. He wondered how much Cloud had told them. Had they heard him, or did they just think he was off to get more wood? He doubted Cloud had told them about the Geostigma. He now saw why Cloud had lied for so long. The thought of having to tell Tifa that Cloud was going to die was more daunting than infiltrating Shinra.

He wouldn't be able to pretend nothing happened as he guessed his eyes were likely still red, but even if they knew something was wrong, the others usually stayed out of matters between the two of them.

"You okay?" Cissnei asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he rubbed his eyes trying to clear the last remnants of tears. The silent stares grew more anxious as everyone else realized he'd been crying. It was something Zack Fair just didn't do. At this point, he couldn't care less if anyone saw him. He was focused only on Cloud, "So what are you going to do?"

"I don't know. It depends on your decision," Cloud seemed to understand Zack was referring to telling the others, "I told you there was nothing you could do about it."

"Time for another walk, chocobo head," he gestured for Cloud to join him. The blonde hesitated, but then reluctantly followed him deeper into the woods.

"First," Zack said the moment they were out of earshot, then punched an unsuspecting Cloud full in the face. He finished his statement just after Cloud hit the ground,"You are an idiot"

Cloud wiped a small drop of blood from his lip and looked up at Zack, "What the he-?"

"Second," Zack ignored him, "I don't care how long you have left, saving you is still the one decision I've made that I am certain I will never regret. Get that through your head, or I'll have to pound it in."

"So are you going to tell them?" Cloud asked, brushing some of the dirt off himself as he stood.

"They would want to know," Zack replied, "But it's not my decision to make."

Cloud's angry, guarded expression slowly faded and his eyes dropped from Zack to the ground, "I don't want to hurt them."

"They're going to know eventually," Zack's accusation tone dissipated and was replaced by a much gentler one, "I know Tifa would want to know. She would want to help you. Can you imagine how she would feel if she found out after you went into a coma or something? I know she would want a chance to make the most of the time you have left."

Cloud drug his boot through a few leaves nervously then asked, "Can I have some time to think about it?"

"Of course," Zack answered, then fell silent. With so little time remaining, he would have to do his best to say everything he wanted to while he had the chance. But where should he even begin? "Cloud... do you want to talk about it? Now that everything is out in the open. Not just Geostigma, but anything else."

"What's talking going to do?" Cloud muttered, "It won't change anything."

"True, but you might feel better"

"'Feel better'," he repeated skeptically, "That's just a phrase people throw around when they want to make the horrible seem okay. They convince themselves 'talking about it' will somehow fix it, when really nothing's changed. What advantage does reliving something have over forgetting about it? Why is confronting something better than ignoring it? It ends the same way regardless, so what does it matter how much you discussed how you got there?"

"Why do people want to understand what happens to them? Why do we care about justice, morality, love, anything?" Zack answered his own question, "Because we want there to be some kind of meaning behind making it this far and a reason to keep on moving forward. When it's all said and done and we die, we want there to be some value in how we lived."

"Then why are we here, Zack?" it was rare that Cloud got angry, but right now his eyes were full of fiery rage, "Why did it turn out this way? We suffer then we die. What reason is there behind that?"

"We survived and escaped to freedom. We're fighting Shinra along side people who care about us. You have friends who love you, Cloud. Don't tell me that doesn't mean anything."

"But look what I'm doing to them!" Cloud exclaimed, "If I had any decency at all, I would have left as soon as I found out I was sick, not let everyone waste their compassion on me!"

"You think it would be better if we didn't care?" it wasn't really a question, "You think we're going to wish we hadn't known you. Just like you thought I regretted saving you."

Cloud's silence told him he was correct.

"You can be incredibly thick sometimes," Zack said, "You didn't ask for this any more than I did. Sickness doesn't change the fact that I'm going to stick with you until the end, whenever and whatever that may be."

Cloud stood with his eyes still glued to his boot, hands balled into fists clenched so tightly they shook, "I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I don't know how to fight this and..." his next few words carried the full weight of his fears, "I don't want to die."

Zack had known Cloud was worn out from many sleepless nights, but now he knew it was so much more than that. More than even just the energy sickness stole from him. How much effort must keeping a secret like that take? Having to carefully calculate everything one said must be exhausting. He knew from watching Denzel that on bad days, the disease brought almost constant pain. How hard must it be to pretend not to feel it? Geostigma took a person's life long before it killed them.

He helplessly reached out and placed his hand on Cloud's healthy shoulder, "I'm sorry"

"For what?" Cloud asked, then added, "Other than for punching me in the face."

"No, _that _I would do again," Zack told him, "Sorry that I can't fix it"

Cloud shook his head, "You've done more than enough," he glanced back in the direction of camp, "It'll be dark soon. We should probably head back."

* * *

><p>"Excuse me, sir, could I get a glass of water?" Aerith asked brightly.<p>

The man nodded and mechanically handed her the glass.

"Do you like living here?" Aerith had somehow convinced Hojo to allow her to stop for a drink; it was the first time she'd been able to speak to anyone in the town besides Hojo. She had Vincent back in the cell, but he wasn't much for conversation the majority of the time, so she was dying for someone to talk to.

"Do you want anything else?" the man asked, his green eyes showing no sign that he had heard her.

"No, I'm fine," Aerith was a bit taken aback by the blatant ignoring of her question until she realized being in handcuffs didn't exactly make her prime company material.

"Could I just stop to look at the flowers?" she asked.

"Briefly," Hojo answered.

Aerith was beginning to get used to her rather twisted circumstances, but asking Hojo for permission to do anything still felt like poison coming off her tongue.

"What kind are these?" she asked the woman standing behind the cart selling them. She already knew, but she asked anyway.

"Orchids," the woman answered.

"They're beautiful. I used to sell flowers too many years ago," Aerith said a little dreamily, "I've missed them these past few years."

The woman said nothing in reply, simply watching her with bright, emerald eyes.

"Do you have a favorite kind?" Aerith asked, trying to ignore the stare.

"No"

"I see," Aerith thanked the woman for her time and left with a heavy sigh. She should have guessed that these people weren't supposed to talk to her. Even so, it had been worth a try. She was about to reluctantly returned to Q&A with the loathsome scientist when another woman appeared. Aerith's eyes widened. Could it really be her?

"Anna!" Aerith shouted running up to her, "Anna, is that you?"

"No," the woman said, her green eyes held no recognition, but Aerith was sure it was her. The longer she looked at her, the more certain she was. She looked just like an older version her sister.

"I'm friends with your younger sister, Elena," Aerith told her, hoping that would get through to her.

"I don't have a sister," Anna said, then began to walk away.

"Wait!" she began to run after her, but she felt a hand grab her wrist to stop her.

"Don't touch me," she snapped when she realized it was Hojo.

"I've given you much lenience as you are important to us," Hojo told her, "But you are still a prisoner. Don't forget that."

"What is she doing here? Why is she..." Aerith's voice trailed off midway through her question as she began to carefully study the people around her. Anna had brown eyes last time she saw her. Every single person on the street in her view had one thing in common, "Why does everyone here have green eyes?"

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><p>Everyone was already half asleep, but they had decided to eat something before going to bed anyway. Awkward silence had set in since Zack and Cloud returned and no one knew how to begin speaking. In the end, it was Cissnei who cleared the air.<p>

"Elephant in the room," she said hiding her nervousness behind a professional tone, "Should we ask about whatever's going on, or is it something that's none of our business?"

"Depends who you ask," Zack replied, stealing a brief glance at Cloud, who in turn lowered his head with new found interest in the jerky he was eating. For Cissnei's sake, Zack changed the subject, "How far until we reach a town?"

"Less than a day," Cissnei answered, grateful for the new topic, "If we're fast, we may even be on our way across the ocean by tomorrow evening."

"Ocean. Right. Any plans for getting over that?"

"We'll have to buy a ride on a boat or plane or something"

"But aren't we felons?" Tifa asked, "How are we going to get onto one without being noticed?"

"...I have no idea," Cissnei admitted.

Zack leaned back, dramatically swinging his arms up to rest behind his head, "Check out the stars."

"Oh, wow," Tifa said, looking through the small break in the branches above them, "I haven't had this good a view of them since I lived in Nibelheim."

"Stars and a fire," Zack said, "Reminds me of Gongaga"

A chorus of stifled laughter rang out from his company, "Hey, Tifa and Cloud come from a town called Nibelheim, so I don't want to here it!"

"It's seriously called Gongaga?" Tifa giggled through her hands over her mouth.

"Okay, I admit, Gongaga is worse," Zack confessed, then added, "We should have brought marshmallows"

"Why?" Cissnei asked curiously.

"Why? To eat them, why else?"

"But why now specifically?"

"Haven't you ever eaten marshmallows at a campfire?"

Cissnei shook her head.

"What?" Zack sprang back into a sitting position, "How have you lived into your twenties and never roasted a marshmallow?"

"I grew up in a Shinra orphanage, then became a Turk. When on earth would I have had the chance to waste time cooking sugary puffs with absolutely no nutritional value?"

"First chance we get, you are going to roast a marshmallow," Zack ordered, "The moment we get to a market, I'm buying a pack. Maybe some smores ingredients too."

"Smores?"

Zack sighed, shaking his head disapprovingly, "I'll just have to show you."

"No, you brought it up, now you have to tell me what it is!" Cissnei demanded.

Cloud watched in amazement as Zack described the process of making smores as though there was nothing wrong in the world, far more convincingly than Cloud ever could. Was he pretending for the others, or for him? He didn't think Zack would put this much effort into keeping his secret since he thought Cloud should tell the truth, which left only one other possibility. He was trying to make Cloud's life feel normal. He had done the same thing while they were on the run. The few pieces he remembered were of Zack talking to him, telling him about the weather and what they would do when they finally reached Midgar. Every small thing that could possibly be viewed as a positive, Zack turned into something great and wondrous. Zack's coping abilities and shear endurance never failed to amaze him.

After about half an hour of discussing memories and food, everyone else went to sleep, leaving Cloud to lay awake for another few hours before restlessly drifting in and out of consciousness.

_"Mom, what did you do with the keys?"_

_"I haven't done anything with them"_

_"They were on the hook yesterday, and now they're gone. You know you're not supposed to drive __anymore. What did you do with them?"_

_"I-I don't remember"_

_He studied her carefully. She really didn't remember. He sighed, making a mental note to search for them after she went to bed._

_"Alright. We'll find them later. What do you want to eat tonight?"_

_"There's some spaghetti left over in the fridge," she said distantly, "Your father always likes spaghetti."_

_"Spaghetti is it," he dished to plates and heated them in the microwave while his mother set the table. Once __again, she'd set it for three._

_"Mom-" he started, but decided to instead just try to put the dishes away while she was getting drinks. He'd learned an empty place would be worse than if she caught him putting them back. Of course, as always, she noticed._

_"What are you doing?"_

_"He's not coming home tonight," he told her._

_"Oh, I guess it will just be the two of us tonight then," she put the glass she was about to pour back into the cabinet._

_Eight years it had been, and she still set a place for him every night._

_"Cloud," she smiled warmly, "Come here for a moment."_

_He walked over to her and she took his face in her hands, "You have your father's eyes. Such beautiful eyes."_

_She kissed him on top of the head and sat down. She exhausted him, but there was never any doubt that she loved him._

_._

_"Mom! MOM!" he screamed as the fire engulfed her. _

_"Cloud! RUN!" she screamed back as the ceiling above her collapsed._

_._

_She loved him. She always loved him. So why did he..._

_._

_"You think I am a monster," Sephiroth called to him, "But you're just like me!"_

Cloud awoke to find himself between the sleeping forms of Zack and Tifa under a starlit sky. Piece by piece, his past was returning. A vague memory of sitting on the floor at the foot of his parent's bed came to him, awoken by a nightmare and too afraid to go back to sleep alone, but also too afraid of waking his parents to slide in between them. He would simply watch them sleep until he could bare to return to his own room.

He had done it the night before his father's death as well. He had been so focused on how his mother was handling it, he didn't even cry at his father's funeral. Everyone around thought there must be something wrong with him. It was the next night that reality sank in, that it wasn't a dream. His father wasn't coming back. When he was sure his mother was asleep, he finally cried. Hidden by the darkness, he sobbed into the pillow the entire night, then never cried again.

The whispers at the funeral were only the beginning, "What is wrong with that child? He doesn't even look like he cares," eventually became, "I wonder if he's as crazy as his mother." Even now that he couldn't picture their faces or remember their names, their words still haunted him, ringing in his ears as clear as day, and forcing him to constantly question his own sanity. He still second guessed everything he did, having yet to regain the confidence they had stolen from him. He hated them all until he remember they were already dead.

He didn't want to remember. He wanted to block it out and never think of it again. If only he could free himself of that broken child, but it was a pain far too deep for even him to block out. He sat up and looked around at the real world to distract himself from the world inside his head, his eyes landing on the two people on either side of him.

Zack was laying on his stomach, half way out of his sleeping bag, while Tifa slept curled on her side, arms folded in close. Zack had sacrificed more than enough for him already, too much for him to ever be able to repay. Tifa would have been better off if he'd never come back at all. If he had just stayed away from her, she wouldn't have to suffer his death now. He should have left the day he found out he was sick.

He stood and walked into the surrounding woods, searching for any kind of clarity on what he should do. Should he leave? Or would that just hurt Zack more? What about Tifa? How we she handle him leaving? He had endless questions and nowhere to find answers.

All of his obligations tore him in different directions. He had promised to protect Tifa and do everything in his power to repay Zack; he couldn't do either if he abandoned them. On the other hand, he didn't want to burden them with his problems any longer. He would hurt them if he left, he would hurt them if he stayed. He hated himself for living, and he hated himself for dying. If only he had never existed.

He smirked humorlessly at the irony. Wasn't this what he had always wanted? To be noticed? To be missed when he died? That was all he had ever wished for as a lonely, friendless child in Nibelheim. "Be careful what you wish for." It was downright aggravating when overused cliches turned out to be true. Maybe he hadn't ever really wanted anyone to grieve, but simply to be worth grieving. He still wasn't sure if he'd accomplished the latter. Would they miss him if they knew of the other side he fought so hard to bury?

Moonlight streamed through the trees of the empty, silent forest. He had finally found a place that looked as isolated as he felt. The night beckoned him to disappear into it, to run from everything. Unsure of what stopped him from making his escape, he instead returned to the camp.

In spite of wishing none of them would so much as remember his name when he died, he couldn't bring himself to regret meeting his new friends. Because of them, he had found that life could be enjoyable. They had given him the attention and compassion he had so desperately craved throughout his childhood. Once again, he was torn between gratitude and guilt for the sacrifices he never asked for.

Cloud threw the extra blanket lying by the fire over Zack, who was now completely exposed to the frigidnight air. The wild sleeper would probably throw it off in a few minutes anyway, but it would give him some temporary peace of mind. As he crawled back into his own sleeping bag, he noticed a red cardigan next to Zack. Cloud looked closer in confusion. It was clearly a woman's garment, so why on earth did Zack have it? He made a mental note to bring it up the next morning and pulled the blankets over his head as a barrier between himself and the world and returned to his internal warfare.

Regardless of what he found to be the 'right' choice, making himself leave would not be an easy task. He had no right to even think about how this decision would effect him, but he couldn't completely push it from his mind. How would he survive his last days with only his increasingly vivid memories as company? Was he strong enough to face his demons alone?

As he listened to the rhythm of Zack and Tifa's breathing, he began to relax. Maybe he wasn't as alone as he thought. Lying between his two best friends, surrounded by the only people in the entire world he truly trusted, he felt at home. Even with the most powerful company in the world trying to kill him, even though he was destine to die, he couldn't remember ever feeling safer than he did in that moment. Maybe it was childish to be so deeply affected by something as simple as their presence. But who was their to see him? The judging eyes of the people in Nibelheim were long gone. The guns and bombs of war were far away. Even the needles and poisons of the lab couldn't touch him here. For a brief moment, he didn't have to be ashamed of who he was, or fear the growing monster within, threatening to overtake him. However temporary it may be, he had found one safe place where even a plagued mind like his could have a little peace.

Finally, he came to a decision. For the first time in months, he slept peacefully through the remainder of the night, sure of what he would do tomorrow.

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><p>Sorry if I went overboard with the angst. I was not in the best of moods when I wrote this and my state of mind has an undeniable influence over my writing.<p>

I really feel for Zack because 1. The whole grandfather dying thing. 2. A Leukemia scare with my younger brother a few months ago. It turned out to be Chrones (he takes a crap ton of pills & is pretty much fine), but still driving from hospital to hospital knowing only that he's "really sick" for a few days isn't something you forget. Add on that I grew up in a very Nibelheim-esk town and this chapt. is packed full of emotions running away with the story. And oh, how I love exploring inside Cloud's head. I find it quite an interesting place to be.

I need to stop writing so much non-story at the beginning and end of each chapter. It's going to end up half FF7 fiction and half me rambling.


	19. Chapter 19

No, your eyes do not deceive you. It is, in fact, an update. All I can say is... sorry. *sweat drop* You were probably starting to think I got hit by a bus or something. I won't even attempted to explain these past weeks other than life took some interesting turns and my current schedule is a nightmare, but I reassure you I will NOT abandon this story. There may be gaps of sizable lengths (hopefully none as absurd as this one), but I will always come back eventually. This is a long chapter, so hopefully that helps atone a little. Maybe one day, you will find it in your hearts to forgive me.

I've unintentionally begun using "Gaia" in my real life. I'm lucky 80% of my friends are gamers and otakus or that would be quite awkward to try to explain. Seriously, a group of us are plotting to go to our next dance as Fullmetal Alchemist characters. No more words are needed here.

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><p><strong>HikariNoTenshi-San, <strong>I agree, Zack would have been a great older brother. I don't know how anyone can dislike him.

**LastOrder1**, Thanks! Zack & Cloud is by far my favorite to write.

**midnight13731**, Your review is so wonderful, I feel terrible for abandoning you for so long! I promise, there is plenty more angst to come!

**cloti4life**, my cousins are alternate universe FF7 characters! Awesome! Actually, Zack seriously does act like Zack Fair. It's kinda scary how alike they are.

**ledah13**, Lol, yes, shame on Cissnei for not knowing the greatness of smores. Plenty of Cloud PoV to come.

**Shinra-ex-SOLDIER**, Thanks again! And I'm sorry I haven't been reading your story, I will get to it, I'm just so pressed for time right now I don't know when exactly that will be. I should have some time this weekend.

**Key and Lock**, Thanks! I'm getting a little more character focused than plot focus, so I hope that's alright with everyone.

**PlayLaughNerd**, that's one of the best compliments I've ever gotten. I'm so sorry I made you wait so long!

**oodball**, I was hoping Zerith fans would appreciate that detail ^_^ Thank a ton!

* * *

><p>Cloud inhaled what he meant to be a deep breath, but caught in his throat, strangled by anxiety. He tried again just to breath, a bit more successfully. It became his focus as he readied himself, as though the miniscule addition of oxygen to his lungs could calm the raging sea of dread within him. The conversation he was planning went against every instinct he possessed. How much careful effort had he put into guarding the shattered pieces of his blood-soaked mind? Hiding his brokenness was not only for the protection of those around him, but his own. He was safe behind his walls. Those walls not only defended him from the brutality of humanity, but encased his sanity, keeping it from slipping away to intangible regions beyond his control. Avoidance kept him from falling apart. What a healthy psyche he had? If he allowed the walls to fall, he would be left completely vulnerable to whoever he allowed in. He continually told himself he had to keep everything to himself to avoid hurting others. The best lies are laced with the truth. He did want to protect the people around him, but the final blockade most difficult for him to repress was the shear terror of facing his demons and trusting someone else with information that would give them the power to destroy him.<p>

The only thing that could override his fears was obligation; he owed these people the truth, regardless of how uncomfortable it made him. Not just about his Geostigma, but Sephiroth, Jenova, and what Shinra had done to him. Not in explicit detail, but enough that they would understand the madness Shinra was willing to sink to, so they would know the extent of the darkness they faced.

"Um... guys," Cloud said timidly, "I... I need to talk to you about something"

All activity ceased immediately. Cloud rarely initiated conversation at all, much less blatantly request the attention of the entire group. Tifa, who had been packing a moment ago, met his eyes curiously. Those beautiful red wine eyes watching him only increased his apprehension.

"What is it?" she asked.

"This- Well, it might take a while," Cloud scratched the back of his head, strikingly similarly to his mentor, "I thought you all should know what Shinra has been doing, for a start." He noticed Zack standing behind her, nodding at him encouragingly.

"It could be a long story depending on how much he decides to tell," Zack came to his aid, "You might want to take a seat for a bit."

"Ya mean the two of ya are actually gonna tell us what's goin' on for once?" Barret said, " 'At's a first"

"Shut up," Zack muttered. Cissnei wordlessly sat down on a nearby rock. Unlike the others, she knew Shinra's transgressions and the gravity of Cloud speaking about his dark past.

"Go ahead, Cloud," she said gently, "We're listening"

"I don't really know how to start," Cloud sat down on the trunk of a fallen tree, "I know Zack and I were taken to the basement of Shinra manor. I don't remember much, just that it was... awful. Hojo was trying to create the perfect soldier, and we were his test subjects."

Cloud struggled to keep his story informative. The more intently he attempted to work out a clear recollection of what Hojo had done, the more vivid the pain associated with it became. Try as he might, he could not separate the facts from the torture they inflicted. _Breath, _he told himself. It was his default self help, as it was the one thing he knew he could never be forced to live without. When he managed a shaky breath, he forced himself to continue, "Most of what I remember are parts of the first year. He used mako and some other chemicals that he would inject into the subject's bloodstream to modify both body and mental state."

_"Hojo, how will we know how our progress is going?" the assistant asked, "He's too weak to do many physical tests, so we can only test his vital signs. That's really not much to go on."_

_"Obviously, the only way to know what internal effects this is having is to look for our selves," Hojo casually began to dig around in his tools._

_A knife loomed above him. It didn't matter how hard he fought, there was no escaping the inevitable, but he still struggled against the binds, screaming for him to stop. _

_"Sir... shouldn't we sedate him first?" said the unnerved voice of the assistant._

_"Sedation will interfere with results," Hojo said calmly. Blood flowed from the cut onto the table as his vision grew blurred, "Humanitarianism serves no purpose on the road to advancement and discovery."_

His own screams rang in his ears as hell morphed back into the present. He couldn't do this. It was a memory he simply could not face without fear, or worse, insanity, taking over him.

"I-I'm sorry... I thought I was ready," he stammered, "I thought I could do this, but..."

"Cloud, calm down," Zack said, sitting down beside him, "How about I take over for this part?"

Cloud nodded gratefully. He hated to once again lean on Zack to keep himself together, but the labs surpassed his ability to bare pain alone without loosing touch with the present. Although he sometimes wondered if letting go of his grip on reality would provide some amount of relief. He decided when he was alone in his final days, he would allow himself to give in to madness. It seemed terribly unfair that the ones with a reality too horrible to comprehend were the ones who had to fight so hard to remain attached to it. Once there was no one left to hang on for, why cling to a world he was desperate to escape? Insanity was now something to look forward to. He could almost laugh at the absurdity if it weren't so terribly sick. He decided it was best he leave the subject alone and tuned back in to Zack's words as he began to summarize their experience.

"We were both used for experimentation at the beginning," Zack explained, "But after a few months, Hojo decided that I was useless because I'd already been 'tampered with' when I became a SOLDIER. The only thing he used me for after that was to test new chemicals to make sure they weren't lethal. He could afford to loose me, but not Cloud. He wanted Cloud to replace Sephiroth as Shinra's ultimate weapon."

Cloud studied his knees, using Zack's even tone to ease the panic that screamed at him to run, to put as much distance between himself and the past as possible. How could Zack be so relaxed? He stole a glance at the SOLDIER. His face was stoic, but his fist was clenched so tightly blood began to run through his fingers as a result of his nails digging into his palms.

"Zack," Cloud grabbed his wrist to alert him to the damage.

"Crap," Zack opened his hand, "This is why I should never take my gloves off, but _no_, Cissnei says it's unsanitary to eat with them on." He brushed it off smoothly as though it were an ordinary occurrence.

"I guess that's really all you need to know from the labs," Zack continued, rubbing the back of his neck, with his non-bleeding hand, "I can't think of anything crucial besides the super-soldier creation."

"Damn," Barret muttered, "I knew Shinra was twisted, but I never guessed they been up to somethin' like that."

"You said they tried to change his mind as well," Tifa mimicked Zack's calm speech, but her eyes brimmed with horror, "How? Is that why Cloud can't remember parts of Nibelhiem?"

"I don't know exactly," Zack answered, "I think it's probably from the Jenova cells"

"Jeno-what?" Barret asked.

"Jenova. 'Calamity from the sky' or something like that. Basically E.T. except dead and possessed by evil. Sephiroth was born from an experiment with Jenova cells"

"So the crazy guy used an alien to make another really powerful crazy guy," Barret not-so-elegantly summarized the origins of Sephiroth, "And he wants another super solder to replace the pyromaniac?"

"Sure," Zack confirmed, "Not how I would have put it, but that works"

"Shinra's frickin' weird," Barret noted, "That all?"

"One more thing," Cloud felt his heart rate spike, "I... I have..."

He'd resolved to tell them the truth, but now that the moment had arrived, the words refused to form, so instead he pulled his turtleneck over his head and threw it on the ground beside him. There. Now everyone would see. The scars, the black marks, the embodiments of his pain, all shown out in the open.

"I'm sorry," he muttered. He couldn't look at them, especially Tifa._ 'You didn't ask for this any more than I did_,' Zack's words were true, but he could still hardly live with himself for all the pain he'd caused. He wished he could stand up and give some optimistic pep talk like Zack would, but at the moment, just keeping a straight face was a challenge. He began to feel light headed, whether from being sick, or the pure terror of be so _exposed_, he couldn't tell.

He wordlessly escaped into the trees. Zack would likely follow him, but that was alright. He already knew everything. Zack was safe. In fact, he may even welcome Zack's company.

He turned around to face the owner of the footsteps pursuing him, "I'm alright, Zack, don't worry about-"

He stopped as he was met, not by a the blue glow of a SOLDIER, but the deep red eyes of Tifa Lockheart. Tifa, the person he feared facing the most. The person who's approval he'd been fighting for when he first left home. And he lied to her. He betrayed her.

She watched him silently. He tentatively met her eyes, expecting to see accusation, anger, even hate. Grief stared back at him. He wasn't sure which was worse. Maybe it would be easier if everyone would just hate him. He bit his lip, searching through his foggy mind for any words that could make the situation less horrible.

"Tifa... I-"

He was cut off -not that he knew what he was going to say to begin with- by a soft utterance from the lips of the closest thing to an angel he had even encountered, "You don't have to say anything." She slid her arms around him, one hand resting in his hair, silently communicating everything she couldn't put into words. He stiffened, about to pull back, when something stopped him, something he couldn't quite place. For once, he didn't shy away from the contact. After a moment of reasoning with his reflexes, convincing them Tifa was not a threat, he returned the embrace.

"You don't have to be alone, you know?"

It pierced through the hazy numbness that blocked out all the feeling he was too tired to deal with. When he was forced to choose between feeling pain and feeling nothing, he chose nothing. But emptiness, the misery of being only half alive, later proved to be almost as intolerable as pure agony. Confusion, fear, grief, and most of all, unbearable loneliness, every feeling he had deadened and pretended didn't exist suddenly assaulted his a cracked and fragile mind. The dull ache in his chest he had trained himself to ignore grew into a sickening sensation he had no name for. Hard as he tried to be strong, behind his mask of impenetrability, he was broken.

_You don't have to be alone._ He pulled her closer, leaning into the touch instead of away from it. For the first time in months, he felt alive. _You don't have to be alone. _Could he believe it? Apparently he did. Maybe it was how gentle her hands were, or the familiarity of her sent, or maybe just that he was finally broken enough to let someone to try to fix him. With her as the only part of the world he was still aware of, he let his scars show.

"I lost everything. My family, my home, my freedom, everything," his eyes burned with something he'd forgotten he was capable of. Pain could no longer draw tears from him; he was far too hardened for that. It was not fear, or guilt, or anguish that broke through the ancient damn that kept his emotions locked away, but the relief the comfort of her embrace brought him. Whether seconds or hours passed, he'd lost the ability to tell. For the first time since he was a child grieving the loss of his father, he was crying.

"I thought there was nothing left for them to take from me. Then Hojo... He took who I was. He.. he tortured me," his voice broke again, but kept going in a half whispered cry, "He tortured me until I wasn't even me anymore. I didn't just feel pain, it's all that was left. It was the only thing that told me I was alive. I thought that pain and living were the same thing, so all I wanted was to die. But he took that from me too. I couldn't even kill myself. I couldn't live, and I couldn't die. Just exist in this agonizing limbo, wondering if it would ever end."

She stroked his hair gently and whispered words he was too far gone to hear as he allowed himself to shed tears not even Hojo could draw from him, wracking his body, bringing his already shaking form to his knees. Tifa lowered herself with him, calmly rubbing his back until he began to regain control.

"I'm sorry," he said weakly, still shaking too much to stand, "I never meant for this to happen."

"It's okay," she assured him, "No on blames you, Cloud. Just please don't run away. Let me help you."

After an immeasurable moment, she released him. Did he dare accept such an offer? How selfish was it to take her kindness when all he could do was hurt her? What he didn't understand was that she knew he was a lost cause, but still wanted to help him. Tifa and Zack were either out of their minds, or saints. Maybe both. He nodded, still a bit unsure about allowing her to see the twisted side of him Hojo had created.

Zack was, of course, waiting for them when they returned.

"You alright?" he asked immediately.

"Yeah," for the first time in months, he actually meant it. Maybe 'alright' wasn't the word he would have chosen, but it was a relative term. Compared to his near drowning in despair a day ago, he was fantastic.

He still kept the secret of the monster growing in his mind, but for the time being, he was strong enough to fight it. As they packed up their supplies and continued their trek, even with the added weight of supplies, he felt lighter.

* * *

><p>Zack now understood his parents' reluctance to allow him to join the military that led to him taking off on his own, leaving only a note behind. It had taken all of his restraint to let Tifa go after Cloud alone, but difficult as it was to step back, he knew it had been the right decision. After being faced with something as devastating as impending death there would certainly be some issues they needed to sort out, and as neither of them exactly excel in communication, they would need time alone to do so.<p>

In a more general sense, if he was ever going to be able to move on, Cloud would need to start opening up to other people. Preferably someone who didn't make his own hands bleed when the past was mentioned. Maybe Tifa would talk some sense into him that Zack couldn't. As they moved on and he noticed Cloud looking up occasionally rather than his usual staring at the ground continuously, he was almost certain she must have.

Throughout the journey, Zack was surprised by how well everyone appeared to have taken the news. Then again, he was surrounded by people who would loose an arm before letting Cloud detect otherwise. Tifa had barely spoken since they left. He knew she must be as scared as he was, but was grateful she wasn't going to let Cloud see it.

They decided they would try to cross the ocean at Junon harbor, but no one knew exactly how long it would take to get there. It was late afternoon when they finally came upon a small town, so picturesque it could have been taken from a travel brochure. It was hard to believe a place so tranquil existed this close to Midgar.

"Where are we?" Barret asked.

"I don't know. Somewhere we're less likely to be shot or blown up than in Midgar," Zack's mood suffered heavy losses from the combination of exhaustion and hunger.

"Well, while we're in less-likely-to-be-shot-or-blown-up can we take a break? Maybe eat somethin'?"

"You're hungry already? We can keep going at least another hour," Zack's stomach betrayed him with an unnecessarily loud growl. Barret smirked triumphantly.

"Okay, so I'm hungry too," Zack admitted, "But I went waaay longer than this without food when we were on the run. I lost track of how long I didn't eat. This is nothing." Barret was silenced for a moment trying to find a valid argument when Cloud stepped in.

"We had to keep moving constantly to stay ahead of Shinra, but I seriously doubt you want to live like that again if we don't have to."

"Traitor," Zack muttered, then he sighed. Shinra wasn't right behind him. Cloud was awake and could defend himself. He didn't have to run all night to stay alive, Zack sighed in defeat, "I guess you're right."

"Can I help you?" said a blonde woman with bright green eyes.

"Yeah. Where are we?"

"You are in the most perfect town in the world"

Zack pretended that wasn't strange, "Alright then. Do you know how to get to Junon?"

"Why would you want to leave?" it seemed to be a foreign idea to her.

"We have things we need to take care of," he quickly scanned his surroundings. Every building was white. "What is this place?"

"It is whatever you want it to be"

"Oookay," Zack scratched the back of his head, "Do you know where we could get something to eat?"

She pointed to a line for soup and turned to leave. "Enjoy your stay"

"Isn't that for homeless people?" Cloud asked.

"Our house blew up," Tifa answered, "Technically, we are homeless"

"Yeah, but we can take care of ourselves," Zack argued, "We're perfectly capable of paying for food. We don't need to take charity"

Tifa crossed her arms "Don't be proud. We should conserve our money if we're going to make it all the way to Wutai. You were on the run before. Didn't you do this kind of stuff then?"

"But we don't _need_ to now"

"So"

Zack spoke slowly, trying to put his thoughts into words "This isn't... I don't know... honorable"

Cloud shook his head in amusement, "Zack, just eat your hobo soup"

Zack kept his head down the entire way through the line and even after they left, refused to make eye contact with anyone.

"Eating free soup while sitting on the street. All we need now are some ratty gloves with cut off fingers and we're set," Zack was still fuming about his damaged pride.

"Suck it up, Zack," Cissnei rolled her eyes, "It's just soup."

"Easy for you to say. You didn't have Angeal giving you speeches about SOLDIER honor for two years," It wasn't until Zack saw Cloud and Cissnei's surprised faces that he realized, not counting his encounter with the clone, it was the first time he had openly spoken of Angeal in nearly seven years. They both had enough sense to go back to their soup before it became awkward.

"So where are we going to sleep?" Zack continued.

"We could continue our hobo trend and just sleep in the street," Cissnei joked.

"Pass," Cloud answered for him.

"I don't think we should stay here for more than a few hours anyway," Zack said more seriously, "This town isn't big enough for us to disappear in. Plus, this place is a little.. weird. We should get out of here as soon as we're done with the hobo soup"

"It's not hobo soup!" Tifa spoke up, "I think it's good"

"So it's a hobo delicacy. It remains hobo soup"

"Soup Nazi"

Zack didn't care enough to argue, "Back to my previous question, what's our plan? Are we heading back to the woods, or are we risking a cheap hotel?"

"Cheap hotel sounds good to me," Cissnei replied, "I know we need to be careful, but if we're too paranoid and fleeing to the woods at every night we're going to drive ourselves crazy."

"Better paranoid than dead. You weren't there when Cloud and I got caught," Zack said, "I thought that was the end. And I'd prefer not to be shot again."

"I don't know how you didn't loose your mind while you were on the run. I was only running from Shinra on my own for a few days and I nearly drove myself mad worrying."

"Who says I didn't?" Zack smirked humorlessly, "What kept me from going completely off the deep end was talking to Cloud. I know he couldn't really hear me, but it helped anyway."

No one ever asked for details about those days. Every time it was mentioned, Zack suddenly looked ten years older, like a man who had seen far too much of the world and how horrible it could be, but the larger reason no one talked about it was for Cloud. No one wanted to remind him of the unintentional burden he had put on Zack. Even Barret was dancing around saying anything that would bring back Cloud's dark past now that they knew about the four years of torture and Geostigma. All the same, there was a growing curiosity about how Zack had managed to survive, especially now that the rest of them had to replicate the feat.

"We should be alright for one night," Zack said, as though he was trying to talk himself into it more than anyone else, "Just don't do anything to draw attention to us, alright?"

After a bit of scouting, Tifa located a small and relatively inexpensive place to stay on the outskirts of town. In the lobby were only a few other people talking around an old coffee table. Zack and Cissnei's eyes immediately landed on the same item in the far corner: a ping pong table.

"Oh boy," Cloud muttered.

"Feeling up to a rematch, Turk?" Zack grinned.

"Bring is on, SOLDIER," Cissnei retorted dangerously.

"Did I miss something?" Tifa asked Cloud, utterly confused as to why a table would invoke such a reaction.

"Back during our Shinra days, between mission when there wasn't much to do, a few of the Turks and SOLDIER would face off in whatever game they could get there hands on. Finally, they stuck a ping-pong table in the basement just to keep bored employees from destroying anything. The last year we were there, every tournament came down to Zack and Cissnei. Turks and SOLDIER don't get many breaks, but on the rare occasion the two of them had overlapping free time, that's where they went. They were actually planning a game to settle their rivalry when Zack and I were sent to Nibelheim."

"Did you ever play?"

"Occasionally. I'm decent, but when those two go at it, it's best to just get out of the way," he then called to the Zack and Cissnei who were now rushing to start a game, "We should at least check in before you two start trying to destroy each other. The owner might not be too happy about random strangers walking in and using his stuff."

"Oh... right," Zack lowered the paddle, clearly disappointed.

While Zack disappeared to investigate various features of the vicinity, Cloud paid for their rooms, then turned back to Tifa, "Even this we probably shouldn't do every night if we don't want to be noticed. Have I mentioned I hate Shinra?"

"You don't want to say that too loudly around here," said the man behind the front desk in a hushed voice, "If don't like 'em, as a rule of thumb, steer clear of anyone with green eyes."

"Why?" Cloud asked curiously.

He shook his head nervously, then looked around to make sure no one else was listening, "They don't come out here too often, but if you've got issues with Shinra, stay away from the downtown area. That's where most of 'em are."

"I'll keep that in mind"

"Cloud, smell this!"

The next instant, Cloud found Zack's hand less than an inch from his nose, now smelling strangely like waffles, "Okay, I smell. Why is this important?"

"Because they have soap that smells like almost everything here! And it foams!"

"Again, why is this-?"

"And this one smells like coffee!" Zack quickly switched hands. "Cissnei, how long has this stuff been around?"

"They put in foaming soap in all the public places a couple years ago," she answered, "Each person uses less that way."

"See how much we missed, Cloud?" Zack shook his head as though not being up to date on soap was a grave misfortune, "This is the greatest thing since bubble wrap! We're going to have to explore the rest of the place tonight and find out what else changed."

"Might want to keep your exploring to a minimum," Cloud said in a lower tone, "According to him," he gestured to the man at the counter, "This place is crawling with Shinra connections."

"I told you this place was weird," Zack muttered, then asked the man, "What's it even called, anyway?"

"This used to be Dell-" he looked around again, then lowered his voice to a whisper, "Dellingar, but we can't call it that anymore. Just keep your head down and don't draw attention to yourself, and you'll be alright."

"I guess that settles it then," Zack said, "We're leaving tomorrow morning immediately."

"But until then..." Cissnei picked up a paddle. Zack snatched up the other just in time to return Cissnei's smash of a serve. Within less than a minute, the few other people in the lobby were fixated on the game no normal people would be capable of. Finally, Zack missed a shot that bounced off the very edge of the table at an angle impossible to return.

"Cheater," he accused, "And if I loose, I have the excuse that I haven't played in five years."

"Neither have I," Cissnei replied, then added a little more quietly, "I haven't set foot in that room since you left."

Zack took a moment to respond, "I guess we're on even terms then." He sent a serve into the corner of the table that Cloud doubted the other onlookers could even see. He wondered how a non-SOLDIER like Cissnei could keep up with such speeds, but she seemed to be holding her own.

"How can you see that, let alone hit it?" asked one bystander.

"Mako," Cissnei answered, "He was exposed to much more than I was, so he's the one with the really incredible skills. I can't see in the dark, my eyes don't glow, and I doubt I can even lift that ridiculous sword he lugs around, but I've been exposed to enough of it over the years that it still sharpened my senses a bit. My vision and reflexes are better than a normal person's, but it's nothing compared to what he can do."

It was likely not a good idea to be announcing their mako exposure, but with Zack and Cloud's glowing eyes, there really wasn't any hiding it. If they tried to deny it, they would likely just look more suspicious.

"We used to work in a power plant," Cissnei continued, "I was only a technician who ran some of the control panels, but those two-" she gestured to Zack and Cloud "-They were engineers working right next to the stuff. They quit a few days after their eyes started glowing to avoid poisoning."

Cissnei said it so naturally and without hesitation, Cloud would have believed her. Even so, doing anything to draw attention to themselves was dangerous.

"Why don't we go unpack?" Zack suggested, apparently thinking along the same lines.

He made it halfway up the stairs when the attack hit. Of course, now that everyone was watching him, he couldn't disguise it enough to avoid suspicion. Tifa was the first to notice, "Cloud, are you alright?"

"Yeah," the tightness in his voice betrayed him. His hand tightened around his arm, trying to block out the pain. Even as it mounted to nearly unbearable, he refused to let any sound escape his lips. He waited for it to lessen before he dared to open his mouth, "I'm fine, don't worry about it."

_Get out,_ "I'm just going to change bandages. Let me know if anything important happens."

Zack handed him the key to the room they would share. The moment he was out of sight, he started running. The numbers on the doors began to blur as the intensity built. The moment he was in the room and safely away from people, he fell to his knees, bit down on the edge of his palm to stifle the sound and screamed. After what he guessed was a few minutes, the pain in his head faded to a dull ache and the fire in his arm numbed to a bearable level. He pulled himself up onto the bed, breathing heavily.

_Don't run away, Cloud. Let me help you._

He couldn't. He couldn't let Tifa see this. It wasn't that he didn't trust her, it was that he didn't trust himself. When he lost control, he could easily try to kill anyone around him. Even if he knew he could keep himself from loosing it completely, he didn't want her to see the darker side of him, twisted by torment and hatred. It was best for her to remain oblivious. At least he hoped. Protection, or betrayal? The lines between the two became more blurred everyday.

* * *

><p>"This isn't too bad," Cissnei said, running her fingers across the gold and green woven pattern of the bedspread, "I thought for what we paid it would be much shabbier than this."<p>

Cissnei turned to Tifa who was standing completely still looking blankly out the window, "Teef, you alright?"

"No," she had remained completely stoic while Cloud was around, but now her mask was breaking, "Why Cloud? Hasn't he suffered enough? Just... why? I knew it must be bad to have Zack shaken up, but I never thought..."

She sank onto the bed, her face in her hands. First her mother, then her father, all her friends, then Wedge, Biggs and Jessie. Cloud was all that was left of the life she once had. He was the one person she just couldn't bare to loose.

"You're a wonderful friend to him, Tifa," Cissnei said, "Even with everything that's happened, he's lucky to have someone like you with him."

"If only that were true," Tifa replied grimly, "You didn't see how I treated him when we were younger."

She wished she could go back in time, to Nibelheim. She'd had so many chances to help him then, but never did. She let him suffer alone until she needed him after her mother died. Now she would never get the chance to make it up to him.

"He always seems better when you're around," Cissnei argued, "Whatever you did back then, he needs you now."

She was right. She couldn't give in to sorrow, "As long as Cloud is still breathing, I'll hope for a miracle."

Tifa's hand tightened around the material on the bed, "I just... I wish he didn't have to hurt anymore. I wish I could take it away, but I can't."

Cissnei took Tifa's hand in her own, "I know. It's so wrong, it makes you wonder how the world could ever be made right again. Good people, people we love are hurt over and over again. It makes you wonder if justice still exists. Believe me, I know."

Before she knew it, she was crying. Not the few controlled tears that leaked from her eyes while Cloud told her the truth, but sobs wracking her hold body. She had lost the will to attempt to stifle them and soon found herself holding onto Cissnei's offered hand as though it were a lifeline.

She wasn't crying for herself, but for Cloud. For how much he had suffered. She finally confessed out loud what she had been to afraid to admit to herself, "I love him, Cissnei. I love him, but there's nothing I can do to save him. I can't even tell him I love him because then he would just feel guilty. He's always blamed himself for things outside his control."

In that one evening, Tifa and Cissnei became friends as Tifa told her of everything that came to mind. Most of it about Cloud. How innocent he looked when he was confused, how much she loved his smile, how angry she was at Shinra for taking it away, how much she missed the boy from Nibelheim Shinra had so cruelly broken. Things she hadn't even known herself, she was suddenly telling Cissnei. After over an hour, she fell silent, finally having exhausted her energy to speak. They simply sat in the silence, lost in days long past.

"You remind me of my sister," Cissnei said quietly.

"I didn't know you had a sister," Tifa replied, "What's she like?"

"She wasn't really my sister," Cissnei answered, "When I was six, a girl at the orphanage about two years older than me named Mae said we would be substitute sisters. We shared everything from toys to animal crackers. We did everything together; _survived_ together. She promised we always would."

"What happened to her?"

"When I was twelve, Mae was sent to a different orphanage. I never heard from her again," she wrapped her arms around herself, "When Zack disappeared, all I could think was 'not again.' If you're going to take him too, at least let me say goodbye."

"I'm sorry," Tifa said quietly.

"Don't be," Cissnei said in a still sad, but slightly more hopeful tone, "I doubt I'll ever find out what happened to Mae, but Zack is still here."

Tifa laid back horizontally on the bed, her legs hanging over the edge, her arms behind her head, "With how much I've been blathering on about Cloud, you're free to talk about Zack if you'd like."

"There's not really much to say," Cissnei said, somewhat detached, "We're just friends after all." She paused for a while, then smiled, "Maybe this is what it's like to be normal. Stay up late and talk about guys." Cissnei leaned back on the bed, arms folded over her stomach, "According to movies, this is what teenage girls do at sleepovers."

"No, when I was still at sleepover age, our conversations were much shallower. When we talked about guys, it was about their hair, or their eyes, or how far they could throw a football, not trying to keep them from dying."

"Why don't you tell me about it?" Cissnei said curiously, "Nibelheim, I mean."

Tifa wondered how on earth the life of an average, small town girl could possibly be interesting to someone who grew up being trained to kill, "It's really not very exciting."

"I just want to know what I missed"

* * *

><p>Cissnei wasn't sure when exactly it was, but Tifa had drifted off to sleep, still laying the wrong direction across the bottom half of Cissnei's bed. Left staring into the darkness listening to the steady rain and occasional crash of thunder from the growing storm, Cissnei fell into her thoughts.<p>

Ever since Mae left, she promised herself she wouldn't form relationships she couldn't let go of. For over a decade she followed the rule of never getting too close, believing it to be the surest way to survive. But watching Zack desperately trying to save Cloud, and Tifa's selfless love for her childhood friend, she began to question it. In some long forgotten part of her, she wanted to care that much, even with the risk of loss.

_"I see why Aerith loved him so much," Elmyra said to her, "And why you love him."_

_"Oh, well... Zack and I..." Cissnei choked on her words, "Well of course I love him, but in a brotherly sort of way."_

_"Are you sure?" Elmyra asked her, unconvinced._

_"No, not really," she admitted, then quickly added when she remembered who she was talking to, "But I promise I would never try to take him from Aerith or anything like that! And she's the one he's in love with, so it's not like it matters how I feel about it anyway."_

_"It matters to me," Elmyra said. Considering the situation, she would think Elmyra would hate her for being around Zack so much when her own daughter went missing trying to find him. Maybe Elmyra was just too good for emotions like jealously. Cissnei briefly wondered if this was what it was like to have a mother._

_"Actually, most of what I feel when I think about Zack is guilt," she replied sadly, "Even if I did think of him another way, I have no right to love him."_

Tifa's romantically-platonicly conflicted love was mixed with guilt as well. Maybe the two of them had more in common than she realized. Cissnei wasn't sure how normal people were supposed to comfort each other, but she was willing to try. She was still afraid of getting close, but she would do it for Zack, Cloud, and Tifa. After all, Mae had done it for her countless times. How disappointed would she adoptive sister be if she didn't?

_"Cissnei?" Mae said as she opened the closet door. She looked down to see the younger girl curled up beneath the hanging coats, cheeks stained with unsuccessfully concealed tears, "There you are."_

_"I'm not coming out!" Cissnei declared angrily, "You can't make me!"_

_"I never said I was going to try," Mae said calmly, "But can I come in?"_

_Cissnei hesitated a moment, then nodded._

_"So why are we in a closet?" Mae asked matter-of-factly, "What advantage does the closet have over outside?"_

_"That _witch_ isn't in here," Cissnei spat, holding her hand to the red mark on her cheek, "She hit me for dropping a plate at dinner."_

_"I see," Mae hugged her knees. She didn't need to ask who Cissnei was referring to. There was only one caretaker at meals who would hit them over a plate and she had taken a particular dislike to Cissnei lately, "But you know you can't stay in here forever. You'll die if you don't eat anything for too long."_

_"Then I'll die," Cissnei turned away with her head on her knees, "I don't care. I hate it here."_

_"It will get better. Cissnei, listen to me, there's still good in the world, even if we can't see it. Because life has been hard, when better days arrive, we'll be the ones who know what it really means to be happy. Even if they never come, maybe having someone to hope for them with is enough. Don't give up yet."_

No matter how many years passed, she would never forget that day. When Zack disappeared, when she left the Turks, every time her world came crashing down, those words came back to her.

_As long as Cloud is still breathing. _Tifa had said it as though time stopped and the world ended when Cloud died. Cissnei hoped almost as much for Tifa's sake as for Cloud's that they would, by some miracle, find a cure.

A soft creek brought her from her reminiscent state. Her ears strained for anything more, but the heavy rain of the thunderstorm muffled any succeeding sound. She readjusted her position on the bed to a more comfortable one curled on her side and realized she had forgotten to call Tseng. As she reached for the desk to check for the presence of a phone, a flash of lightening illuminated the room just long enough for her to see the form of a man looming above her.

* * *

><p>I've based my portrayal of Hojo on Josef Mengele (A Nazi "doctor" in the Holocaust) and I've found I simply cannot bring myself to go into the details of some of the things he did. Vivisection... I nearly puked. Humans really are horrible creators sometimes.<p>

Decent chapter? Hopefully. It was written while alternating between story, a lab report, calculus, and a research paper, so focus was a bit divergent.

This chapter feels lacking in Zack, but I wanted to give the girls a bit more development. Just to be clear, this is not going Zissnei. Just adding a bit more development to Cissnei. Zack and Aerith are destine to be together.

Random thought of the day: A group of my friends and I are now plotting to go to the next dance as Fullmetal Alchemist characters. My first thought was "Would we really do it?" As I was walking down the hallway, fake-handcuffed to Allison who was dressed as a goth for a media project, I realized everyday I sit at a lunch table with a giant stuffed pikachu backpack as the center piece, full of people plotting to do the "Standoff" Xbox live commercial in the cafeteria, and I've agreed that if we have onion rings again I will stand on my chair holding one over my head and shout "One ring... to rule them ALL!". Fullmetal Alchemist dance crashing really isn't that out of the ordinary for us.

..We're strange people.


	20. Chapter 20

Yes, it is true. I am not dead, and this is, in fact, an update. Told you I'd come back... eventually. I should be back for a good while now seeing that the play I was in is over (extra 2 hours a day), I'm finished with my senior paper, the family internal warfare following the death of my grandfather has died down somewhat, and I've been accepted to the college I wanted to attend, so may the slacking commence! Now I can blow off schoolwork and write Fanfiction! Happy day.

If they use the name "Costa del Sol" (Coast of the Sun,), I wonder, does Spanish exist in the world of FF7? If so, would it be called Spanish? What do they call their own language if Japan doesn't exist? So many questions for those prone to over thinking.

* * *

><p>Thank you so much for the wonderful reviews, even after I was gone for months. Leah is extremely happy. So happy that she is speaking in third person. Or maybe it's a symptom of writing 20 chapters of fiction in 3rd person. She should probably stop doing this now, because this is strange even for her.<p>

**LastOrder1**, I'm thinking I'm going to have to lighten up a bit for a while to keep from depressing people too much because I've kept it dark for quite a while.  
>To quote <em>The Monstrumologist<em> (in reference to the monsters in the book) "We are very much like them: indiscriminate killers, ruled by drives little acknowledged and less understood, mindlessly territorial and murderously jealous - the only significant difference being that they have yet to master our expertise in hypocrisy" It's a very cynical view, but what I've taken away from it is that your DNA isn't what makes you human.

**Riku Uzumaki**, I was wondering if anyone would notice my blatant Seinfeld reference ^_^. I'm now picturing a Chibi version of Tifa with giant sad eyes crying as Zack takes her soup away yelling "No soup for you!"

**XxOngakuxX**, Hate is a strong word, but I understand. I certainly favor the guys. I'm trying to keep the girls from being useless props, but it takes a fair amount of conscious effort to not let Zack and Cloud run the show pretty much on their own.

This... this is genius. I was actually working out a similar idea, but it just wasn't quite coming together. I'm not sure exactly when I'm going to be able to work it in, but that's a great idea. I have a plan for bringing out a much darker, heavier side to Zack, although it has little to do with Hojo, but this would make a great addition to the plot and drama. Thank you!

**Chriscro165**, Lol. I'm evil like that. Glad you're interested enough to hate me for the cliffhanger ^_^

**OhJay**, Hahahaha! Allison and I were trying to count the stares we got while in the handcuff-goth-get-up, but we lost track somewhere around 40. But even better than the shocked stares and the double takes! I didn't know they happened in real life until that day. If our cosplay all works out (a lot of my friends don't have much money, so getting the outfits will be a bit complicated) I'd love to send you a pic! I'm Hawkeye ^_^ (Winry annoys me for some reason. I've tried to like her, but I just can't)

**epmire14**, you've restored my writing motivation! I'm so sorry I left this with a cliffhanger and took so long to update. Thank you for your wonderful review!

I know I didn't reply to all of the reviews that came later. I'll put them in the next chapter because my head is killing me.

* * *

><p>Cissnei reached for her shuriken, but the lightening was not on her side. Just as she turned, another flash illuminated the room; he could see her, and she had her back turned. Her fingers brushed the edge of her weapon as she was pulled back as a hand covered her mouth, stifling her screaming.<p>

"Shut up, Ciss or you'll get us both killed."

She stopped fighting and tapped the hand covering her mouth three time, the same tap out signal they used during years of practice. The man released her and she spun around to confirm her suspicion.

"Reno? How did you-?"

"I'm amazed you haven't been caught yet," Reno flicked on the dull lamp on the desk, emitting a soft, orange glow, "The huge guy with a gun for an arms doesn't exactly blend in. Zack and Cloud with their glowing eyes are hardly any better."

"I guess you get an easy job today, then," she couldn't have cared less about smalltalk, "So are you hear to warn me or arrest me?"

"Neither. I'm here to give you and Fair your next assignment."

"That's a cruel joke," she muttered spitefully.

"Nah, I think you're really gonna like this one," Reno argued lightly, "Even if you don't, I'm sure Fair will."

She glared at him, attempting to smother her slight curiosity in ferocity. The mere suggestion that Zack carry out an assignment for Shinra was enough to make her blood boil.

"Don't look at me like that," Reno smirked, "You haven't even heard me out yet. We're going to Nibelhiem-"

"Nibelhiem," she scoffed. Of all the nerve.

"-To rescue the Ancient."

Cissnei froze, completely forgetting she was trying to be menacing, "Aerith? How long have they had her?"

"About a week. Tseng's been fighting Hojo for custody, but in our current position, he's doomed. And it's not like I've got anything better to do, being blamed for the President's murder and all."

"What?"

"Gaia, Cissnei, don't you watch the news?" he shook his head. Cissnei was about to defend herself, telling him she'd spent the last week jumping off trains and camping in the godforsaken corners of wilderness, but he cut her off, "Nevermind, I'll fill you in later. Right now, we need to move. You've already been reported to Shinra. You're just lucky I found you first. I give you about ten minutes to get out of here before you're all dead."

"They're coming now?"

"You're a bit slow when you first wake up, aren't you?"

She ignored him and turned to Tifa, amazed the light sleeper had remained unaroused through their conversation. A closer look told her she hadn't. It was a good fake, but not good enough to fool to keen eye of a Turk. Tifa was awake, but remained motionless, likely for Cissnei's sake, allowing her a conversation with her once brother-in-arms in privacy. She decided to pretend she genuinely thought Tifa was still asleep, when Reno, tactless as usual, spoke, "We both know you're awake, so you might as well get up."

"Can you at least _try_ not to be a total jerk?" Cissnei shot at him.

"Can't. Niceness damages my soul."

Cissnei rolled her eyes and turned back to Tifa who was now sitting up, clearly wide awake, "We need to go."

Tifa nodded and leaped to her feet, barely making a sound as her bare souls touched wood and silently headed for the door. Tifa would ignore Reno with ease, Cloud ignored practically everyone, and Zack was used to hotheaded Turk. Her only concern... Barret. Hopefully the explosions would be contained enough they would alert only half the country to their presence.

Cissnei lead as the three of them silently crept through the hallways toward Zack and Cloud's room. She would put off Barret's involvement as long as possible. She held out her hand to stop the other two. It was likely only the storm, but she wasn't taking any chances, "Listen"

Only silence answered her. She slid soundlessly a few feet toward the window down the hall, back pressed against the wall as her only guide. Her blood ran cold as the faint sound of quiet breathing filled her ears. They were not alone. A flash of lightening illuminated the form of a man before her. In that brief instant, she took in his stature to be nearly a foot taller than herself and thickly built, holding a gun pointed in her direction. In pitch darkness, she dodged beneath where she estimated his aim to be, lunged forward, and sprung back to her full height, grabbing his wrist. As she swung his arm away from her, a shot cracked through the night. She was suddenly quite grateful for the thunder. A sharp yelp echoed behind her, followed by Reno's angry exclamation, "Cripes, Cissnei, you're trying to kill him, not me!"

She had no time to answer. She swung her elbow back, aiming for his nose, catching what she guessed from the choking sounds he made to be his throat instead. It worked just as well, as his grasp on the gun loosened enough for her to rip it from his hand. Mind running on pure adrenaline, she spun around and fired four shots into the blackness. A dull thud told her she'd hit her target.

"You know, you should probably look at who it is before you shoot them," Reno recommended, "That could easily have been me."

The gun slipped clumsily from her hands as she reached for the wall to steady herself. He was right. That could easily have been one of the Turks coming to help her, or worse, Zack or Cloud coming to investigate the presence of Shinra. Who's to say it wasn't someone she knew? Heart pounding, she kept her eyes fixed in the direction of the man she had just shot, waiting for the next burst of lightening. A flash revealed blank eyes staring up at her, almost luminescent as they reflected the lightening, that were fortunately set in an unfamiliar face. Relief washed over her, but the blank stare remained unnerving. Just because she didn't know him didn't mean he deserved to die. Not long ago, they'd been on the same side. She had killed so callously for years, and now it suddenly bothered her. A hint of doubt in her own justifications was all it took to break years of immunity.

"Looks like Jones bit the dust," Reno mused, "Never liked him much anyway."

"Stupid, stupid, stupid," Cissnei muttered as she felt around in the darkness for the gun. Her conflictions were no excuse for being this far off her game. Thunder would cover a single shot, but not four. More troops would appear any moment. Just as her hand closed around the grip, footsteps rushed around the bend in the hallway, only a few feet from her. She straightened, gun pointed in the direction of the sound, ears strained as the steps quickened, advancing toward her right. She turned to follow the sound, but too late. The next flash revealed a flurry of brown hair and glint of bright blue eyes as the gun was knocked from her hand, and that of her opponent's wrapped around her neck. The last bit of air left her lungs as the back of her head slammed into the wall behind her. Her feet left the floor as she fought dizzily to pry the iron-like fingers off of her throat. Her head was slammed into the wall again as the edges of her visions darkened, then again, and a fourth time. Suddenly the pressure crushing her windpipe released, and she fell to the floor, slumped against the wall. All she could see was darkness as a distant voice was yelled frantically, but the words were indiscernible. A pair of hands lifted her from the floor as the words became clear, "Cissnei, come on! Get up! We've gotta move, now!"

She attempted to steady herself, but the dark world around her seemed to spin. Someone shouted her name as she fell back into unconsciousness.

* * *

><p>Cloud awoke from yet another dream of syringes and fire to the all too familiar darkness of night. As this one had been particularly vivid and sleep was guaranteed to evade him for at least another hour or so, he sat up restlessly and swung his legs over the side of the bed, undecided of his destination. Then, through the darkness he saw two glowing, mako blue eyes watching him. He jumped, losing his balance on the edge of the bed, and became closely acquainted with the hotel room floor. Familiar, semi-stifled laughter quickly transformed his panic to embarrassment.<p>

"What are you doing up?" he demanded once he'd caught his breath.

"I could ask you the same thing," Zack replied, letting only a slight bit of his amusement at Cloud's plummet from the edge of the furniture show. Cloud scowled, widening Zack's half-suppressed grin.

"Shut up," Cloud muttered as he picked himself up.

"I didn't say anything," Zack threw his hands up, pleading innocence.

"You were thinking it"

"Guilty as charged"

"You know," Cloud started suspiciously, "I'm more concerned by you _not _harassing me"

"You seemed to be in the middle of a pretty intense dream, so I thought I'd cut you some slack," Zack said, then a mischievous glint appeared in his eyes, "And how could I blame you? That pillow looked pretty vicious. Many a brave man has been petrified with fear by it's mere presence. I would keep an eye on it if I were you. It could strike at any moment."

"Shut up," Cloud repeated, hurling said pillow at his head, then searching the area he believed the nightstand had been in, "Since we're both up," Cloud flicked the bedside lamp on. He'd had enough of darkness for a lifetime. He liked it when no one could see him, but when there was nothing to see in the present, his mind filled the empty space with the past. Light was the lesser of two evils. He hadn't been thinking about which hand he reached for the switch with, but soon realized he had chosen incorrectly. Zack grabbed and briefly examined his outstretched palm.

"Bite marks?" Zack eyed him quizzically. Cloud's avoidance only confirmed his suspicions, "I thought you were done hiding things from us."

"I told them the truth about Shinra and the Geostigma because I felt obligated, that's all."

"That's all? It's not even a little bit of a relief?"

"No," Cloud wasn't sure if he really meant that or not, but he was not admitting to needing outside support. Not when he was this fatigued and agitated, "Not at all"

Heavy silence fell over them. Zack stood and paced a few leisurely steps away as Cloud's thoughts returned to his initial question. Why was Zack up? Unintentionally waking Zack up with his nightmares, was a unfortunately common even, often multiple times a night, but then Zack always shook him awake and calmed him down, then they both went back to sleep. Why was Zack already awake this time? And what was on his mind that he was too lost in his thoughts to notice Cloud's trembling until he was already waking up? He considered repeating the question when Zack's pacing brought him back to his starting point, apparently mid-epiphany, removing one of the gloves he hadn't bothered to take off even to sleep.

"Hey, we match," Zack placed his nail marked palm next to Cloud's.

Although both were on their hands, the injuries themselves weren't nearly as similar as how they'd acquired them. They were even caused by the same memories, through from different points of view. Cloud smirked humorlessly, "We're a twisted bunch, aren't we?"

"I prefer to say we have personality," Zack shrugged.

The lights flickered, then went out, returning them to total darkness. Although the mako in Cloud's system allowed him to see vague outlines, even on a nearly moonless night like this, he was still impaired to the point that his hearing was more useful than his sight.

"Great," Zack muttered, "I thought today went too well to end without something going wrong," then all joking fell from his voice. "You know, you're kind of infuriating sometimes. Look Cloud, if you don't want to tell me what's going on, then say that. But don't lie to me. Believe me, there are few things more exhausting than perpetual lying, and I don't think you have that kind of energy to spare."

Cloud shook his head, almost laughing, "When did you get so smart, Fair? What happened to that obnoxious puppy I used to know?"

Zack leaned back onto the bed with his hands behind his head, "Honestly, I think he's been dead for a long time. At least the naive and blissful ignorance. The hyperactivity and need to annoy you at every given opportunity lives."

They both froze as a shot split the night, ears straining for any other sounds. Only the soft patter of rain answered.

"Maybe it was thunder," Zack suggested, although he didn't sound particularly confident.

"What were you just saying about not being naive?"

"It's not naivety, it's optimism"

"Same thing"

"I disagree, but now isn't really the time to debate this."

Cloud nodded in agreement, "Should we split up? One of us get Barret and the other get Tifa and Cissnei, or stick together?"

"I think we have a better shot staying together. It sounded closer to the girls room, so we'll head there first."

They'd made it to the stairs when four more shots fired on the floor below them. Zack sprinted down the first flight, then jumped down the second, Cloud following close behind as a dull thud resonated through the building. He skidded to a stop as they rounded the next corner to avoid crashing into the unknown form racing toward them.

Zack raised the huge sword over his head ready to strike, then paused in confused recognition, "Reno?"

"Hey, Fair," he replied casually, "Never thought I'd see you alive again."

Zack's guard returned quickly when he noticed the unconscious, auburn-haired woman in his arms, "What did you do to her?"

"Wasn't me"

"Give her to me. _Now_." he didn't raise his voice, but every syllable implied abundant death threats.

"All yours," Reno handed her off, clearly unconcerned by Zack's murderous tone, "Although your time might be better spent helping your dark haired-friend. She stayed back so I could get Cissnei out."

"Tifa," Cloud breathed.

Zack started, "Cloud, don't- CLOUD!"

He was already gone. He hardly heard Zack shouting after him as he sprinted down the hallway. Tifa was fighting alone. And she couldn't even see.

* * *

><p><em>It's only a little blood<em>, Tifa told herself for the umpteenth time, to ignore the deep gash in her left arm, _It's just a little cut. No big deal._

By hearing alone, she dodged a blow from her unseen opponent that send air rushing past her ear. It struck the wall behind her with enough force to send splinters of shattered wood across her shoulder; she was clearly not dealing with an average grunt. The next blow she heard coming, but misjudged the distance. Pain burst through the right side of her head as she was sent plummeting to the ground.

Her opponent began swinging again, but not at her. She could hear the two fighting, but was too lightheaded to observe much else. One went down just as it occurred to her that Reno might actually have come back for her.

"Tifa"

It wasn't the voice she had expected, "You're not Reno" she mumbled through her daze.

"I would certainly hope not," Cloud replied, "You alright?"

"Just- just a little lightheaded," she stood up, trying to look steady and confident. She may not be able to see him, but he could probably see her. And she was _not_ about to faint like a nineteenth-century-based chick-flick heroine. Tifa Lockheart carried herself, "I'll be fine as soon as invisible Shinra employees stop trying to break my skull"

"I'm afraid you're going to have to find some new friends for that to happen," Cloud commented somewhere between joking and dejected. She nodded, giving him the best reassuring, I-am-not-about-to-fall-on-my-face smile she could conger. When they reached the stairs, they discovered Reno waiting for them. Or more, Cloud discovered and Tifa was left in the dark, literally, until he began to speak.

"Fair says to meet him at the bear's room," Reno informed them, then turned back up the stairs without another word to either of them.

Tifa could only imagine what fun having Barret and Reno in the same room would be. Reluctantly, she and Cloud followed Reno up the stairs, not entirely convinced he was on their side, but confident that she and Cloud together would be able to debilitate him without much trouble if such action proved necessary.

"You alright?" Zack asked them when they appeared in the doorway of Barret's room. Tifa was grateful to find they had located a flashlight

"How's Cissnei?" she asked.

"She'll live, I think," Zack replied, less than comfortingly, "If she doesn't wake up soon, we're going to have to look for a medical clinic of some kind. She must have at least a concussion. If you're out for more than a minutes, there's usually brain damage." He lifted her petite form easily.

"So what the escape route?" Cloud asked.

Zack nodded in the direction of the window and wordlessly leaped from the edge of the sill to a branch of the tree outside. Rain drenched the outside world as a soft hum manifested somewhere far off, but she didn't have time to think about what it could be as the of them quickly followed suite. Their decision to remain on the edge of town was clearly correct, as the protection of the forest lay only 50 meters away. Then 40... 30...

As she ran, she finally consciously identified the humming as it swooped toward her and blinding light flooded her vision. She stole a glance behind her to see it's source. Beyond the glow laid the silhouette of the helicopter.

20... 15...

Lead riddled the muddy ground around them as the copter closed in.

10... 5...

A bullet rushed past her ear, grazing her cheek.

The safety of the trees engulfed her. Never before had vegetation seemed so welcoming. They continued to sprint, to outrun the firing as well as whoever may be sent in after them. By the time they stopped, she had lost all sense of time. Time was measured only by the pain in her chest and the heaviness of her breathing, not some calculated device. The concrete measurability of time was grossly overestimated.

"Everyone... here?" Zack huffed. She's forgotten he was carrying Cissnei. How he had managed to stay _in the lead,_ she had no idea.

"Present," Tife managed between gasps.

"Bear, Chocobo, and Ginger?" Apparently the neither the run nor the rain soaking them through the tree had stripped him of his sense of humor. Shockingly, none of them responded.

"Teef, you're arm," Cloud said suddenly. She looked down; no wonder she felt so lightheaded. It was deeper than she thought, leaving a trail of red, mixed with the rain the trees only partially shielded them from, running down her arm, soaking her glove.

"I'm okay," she lied, then pulled a knife out of her boot (something she's learned from Zack was _always_ a good idea) and cut a strip of cloth from the bottom edge of her shirt. That was the day she vowed to invest in longer shirts. Too stubborn to ask someone else to make the textile sacrifice, she would just have to be a little more careful of her movements for a while. After a few attempts to wrap up the wound herself, she gave in and allowed Cloud to do it for her.

"It's not that big a deal," she announced, determined not to flinch as he worked the cloth around her forearm, "Just a scratch, really. It doesn't matter." Cloud remained silent for a moment, analyzing her words.

"I know Zack and I usually take center stage for problems," he tied the ends of the strip together tightly, "But you matter too, Tifa. Don't forget that."

Her cut arm mattered when Zack and Cloud had been trapped in a basement for year with a madman? She doubted it. "I think we have a lot bigger things to worry about."

"I've met enough martyrs, Teef. Don't be the next."

With that he left to help Zack with Cissnei, checking her pulse, making sure they weren't going to loose her before they could find any kind of help. Martyr, he'd called her. Well, he was right about one thing, he had plenty of experience with the type. Zack's entire personality was centered around it. His hero complex was usually a good thing, but he would throw himself away in an instant for Cloud, or practically anyone else for that matter. It's a heavy burden to be _required_ to be alright, not because you want to be, but to avoid letting someone else carry you. But however codependent the two may have become in their years of leaning on each other to survive, the pros outweighed the cons. Zack was Cloud's rock, his anchor to hope, and for that she could never thank him enough.

"What's the closest town?" Tifa asked.

"City," Zack corrected, "Junon. We can be there in about two hours."

"Isn't that crawling with Shinra troops?" Cloud inquired.

"Do you have a better idea?"

He had none, "Junon it is"

* * *

><p>Junon. Where the land met the seas; where worlds converged. Zack hadn't seen it in over five years. When he'd first seen it, Shinra had already moved in, but remnants of the pleasantries of rural life had lingered. Not anymore. The scape he saw before him was reminiscent of Midgar, only smaller with greater liquid content. It seemed everything Shinra touched turned to ash. Instead of dwelling on the latest bout of destruction, he turned his gaze to the clouds floating over head. What he loved most about the sky was that it was the one place Shinra couldn't touch. No matter what atrocities befell the planet down on the ground, the sky remained unchanged.<p>

"Great, we've made it all the way to the most Shinra infested city on the coast," Barret declared, "All they've gotta do is look for that damn Turk's bright red beacon of a head."

"Oh, yeah, because you're so inconspicuous," Reno shot back, "You're powers of anonymity are unparalleled. If this were_ Grizzly Man_, even we might loose you."

"Would you two _shut up_," Cloud groaned, his forbearance reaching it's end.

"I'm sorry about this," Cissnei said miserably, "I came along to _help_ you, not slow you down." She had woken up shortly after their escape into the woods and clearly had a concussion. She insisted on walking in her own, so Zack was always a few steps behind to catch her when one of her dizzy spells hit.

"Remember when you told me how ridiculous I was to apologize for being injured in sector seven?" Zack reminded her, "Same rules apply."

She smiled, only a little sadly.

"This way," he directed, leading the others to the water's edge, "If we stay where we can see the ocean, we'll know..." he trailed off, "Child alert."

Tifa was the first to step forward, Reno's eyes following her intently as she passed. He leaned over to Zack and whispered, "I think we should go swimming while we're here. You know, loosen up a bit."

"And I'll be sure to tell Tifa to where a one-piece," he replied, "Or maybe a wetsuit."

"Who's side are you on? You're supposed to aid your fellow man!"

"It's not teams, it's mutual respect."

"In theory, " Reno shrugged, "Just one question and I won't mention it again."

"Yeah?"

Reno returned his focus from Zack to Tifa, "Are... are those _real_? I mean, how does she keep her balance?"

"Oh, Gaia," Zack rolled his eyes, "Seriously Reno, we're dodging death on a daily basis and this is what you think about?"

"It's a legitimate question! They defy physics!"

Zack shook his head and stepped forward to hear how Tifa's friend-making was going.

"... No, no honey, we're not with Shinra."

"Then why do those two have the eyes? Just go away!"

Tifa sighed sadly, "Whatever you say," she turned to Zack, "She's not lost or anything, she lives near here. We should keep moving."

"Too late," Reno said, eyes wide, staring into the space behind them.

"Why?" Zack turned to see a huge, dragonfly-like monster hovering above the water, swooping toward them, "Everybody down!"

Wind rushed past him as the descending creature flew overhead. He drew his sword as it circled back around, snapping and blasting what he hoped was water in their direction.

It's next dive brought it back over the water. Zack's eyes widened as the water below it began to rise into a massive wave. His eyes met Cissnei's and he reached for her hand just as the water crashed over them. Up, down, left, right, directs meant nothing; all there was was cold and chaos. Then he suddenly found himself breaking through the surface, coughing seawater into his hands. Both of them; he'd lost his grip on the sword. He quickly surveyed his surroundings to see part of the handle sticking out of the water a few feet away and snatched it up before returning to the fight. Water splashed beneath him, lapping at his ankles, trying to drag him out to sea. He raised the sword and swung just as the monster swooped toward him. An gigantic appendage he couldn't quite identify landed beside him.

"Cloud, head's up!" he shouted and the monster flew toward him. Cloud launched himself into the air, landing a sharp swing onto the top of the monster's head, imbedding it nearly six inches. The creature crashed to the ground, oozing green something that might be blood.

"That's... really gross," Zack commented, "But good job, Cloud. You've slain an almost-dragon thing. I dub thee an official almost-knight thing."

"Thanks. I will from this point onward live only to uphold the sanctity of my title."

"Zack! Cloud!" Tifa shouted from off to his left. She was holding the limp form of the child from earlier.

"Priscilla. Priscilla!" Tifa's voice was more panicked with every repetition, "She's not breathing."

"Lay her down flat," Zack told her, his years of being a soldier coming back to him. He tilted her head back and breathed into her mouth, then began compressions. One hundred a minute. Or to the beat of Stayin' Alive by the Bee Gees, but in a real situation, it was just too ironic to use.

The girl coughed, water spraying from her mouth. When she finally finished coughing, she met the eyes of her rescuer, "Is it gone?"

"Yeah, it's gone," he answered, "You're alright."

"Um... thank you," she said turning to Tifa, her eyes slightly misty, "I-I'm sorry about earlier."

"It's okay," Tifa rested a hand on the girl's shoulder who in turned hugged her, shaking with a combination of cold and shock. Over all, she had taken things pretty calmly for an elementary aged kid. Still not letting go of Tifa, she spoke again, "My house is just up the hill and there's an inn across the street if you need somewhere to wash up and stay for a while."

The girl continued to shiver. Zack wished he had a towel to give her or something like it. All he could think of was Aerith's jacket, which he still hadn't allowed anyone to see he had. Pricilla's teeth began to chatter as she curled against Tifa. He sighed and removed the red jacket from his pack.

"Here," he draped it around her shoulders, "I want it back, but you can use it until we get you home."

"Hmm... that looks a little small for you, Fair." Reno commented.

"How do you feel about the current arrangement of your face?" Zack inquired, "Because if you're not happy with it, changes can be made."

"She's a pretty girl," Reno ignored him, "I'm sure she'll be happy to have it back."

Zack changed tactics. Threats were as useless against a Turk as they were a SOLDIER, so he decided to just ignore him instead and lead the way into Junon.

After they dropped Pricilla off at her house, they headed for the inn. It was small, but comfortable, and by far the nicest place they had been in months.

"Thank you for letting us stay," Zack said to the woman who had let them in.

"You're welcome," as she started to leave, Cissnei began

"Excuse me, do you have a phone?"

She pointed to a telephone on the wall.

"Thank you," Cissnei began dialing.

"Who are you-" Reno began.

"Shhh!"

"Just tell me who-"

"Tseng, now shut up!"

Reno made claws and behind her back to signify her cattiness, then lost interest in the conversation.

"Hey, Tseng?... Yeah, it's me. I'm so sorry about everything. I didn't... Thank you. I was wondering, is there anyone watching the Fairs?... I thought they would assume that. Anyone who's met him knows he would never risk endangering them. Anyone tracing their phone? ...Okay. Do you think it's safe then?... Alright. Thanks..." her gaze briefly flickered to Zack, "Is Reno telling the truth?... Both. The president and the other one. Okay... Thanks again. I'll call you if anything drastic happens."

"Zack," she said warmly, "Isn't there a phone call you would like to make?"

"You mean my parent? I don't know... I don't want them involved in any of this."

"They've spent four years looking for their lost son. They're already involved."

"But..." Zack searched for a way to explain his hesitation when even he wasn't sure exactly why he was so against it, "What are the odds we're going to survive this? Why would I give them hope telling them I'm still alive, if I'm probably not going to make it back anyway?"

Zack was usually the optimist, so he understood why everyone looked surprised to hear him describe their circumstances so cynically, but it wasn't like they didn't all think the same thing deep down, "The best thing for my parents would be for them to move on and forget they ever had a son."

"They never will," Cissnei told him immutably, "They will never forget you. I saw them while you were on the run. They would give anything to hear from you again. Just make the call, Zack."

Zack reluctantly took the phone, "What should I say?"

"How should I know?" Cissnei shrugged, "They're your parents. Tell them you're alive for starters, then go from there. You can't tell me that after four years, there's nothing you want to tell them."

Zack dialed the number slowly. There were so many things he wanted to tell them, but so few that he could. The less they knew about the hell he'd been through, the better. The phone began to ring.

He could picture their faces, his mother's kind smile she always gave him before he left the house, and is father's superficially stern expression with a hidden playful sense of humor hidden just beneath it.

"Hello"

Zack froze. He had been expecting his mother to pick up; she always did every other time he called. He was even more unsure of what to say to his father than his mother. He had been a little closer to his father growing up, but that didn't mean he was easier to talk to, especially after something like this. Displays of affection from him were always somewhat underhanded. A slap on the back, or a punch in the arm were customary rather than the hugs he received from his mother and compliments were typically slightly backwards. _"So you made it through the game without falling on your face this time? Good job, kid. High five." _He took a deep breath.

"Um... hi, dad. It's Zack."

Silence met him on the other end.

"I'm just calling to let you know... uh... I'm not dead. ...Things are kind of crazy right now but-"

"Zack?" he choked in astonishment. Was that really his father? The man never got choked up about anything, "Are you really... Where the hell have you been?"

"It's a long story"

"Then let me get your mother before you start"

Zack was about to tell him he didn't have much time when he realized he was already gone. Soon, his mother's voice rang through the phone, "Zack? Zack? Is it really you? Oh, Gaia, we thought you were dead. Where are you?"

"I'm sorry, I can't tell you right now," Zack said, "But I'm alright. Whenever this is all cleared up, I'll come home to visit, okay?"

"Why? What's going- Oh, sorry Honey, you want to hear too, right? Do you know how to get speakerphone to work?"

So his parents had finally gotten a new phone. They'd had the same one his entire life. All it did was call, and nothing else, but they didn't know how to operate any of the newer phones anyway. It was only one small detail, but it made him wish he could see home again exponentially more. Just once, to know it was still there, and to see how much had changed. Maybe this was the real reason he had wanted not to call so badly. If he called home, he couldn't deny how much he missed it.

"Mom," Zack had to repeat himself a few more times to get her attention while she messed with the buttons, "Mom, I'm sorry it was so short, but I have to go."

"Alright," she said sadly, "Call us again as soon as you can, okay?"

"Of course," Zack knew it was a lie, but how could he say no? "I'll talk to you soon."

"I love you," his mother said, noticeably crying now.

"I love you, too," he said and was about to hang up when he hear his father's voice.

"Hey, Zack... Be careful out there doing... whatever you're doing."

"I will," there was a heavy pause before his father replied.

"Love you, kid"

Zack fumbled a little in surprise, "Y-yeah, you too, Dad"

"Bye"

He stared at the phone long after the call went dead.

"What?" Cissnei asked in response to his expression.

"Nothing," Zack said, blushing a little.

"Awww, come on. What is it?" Cissnei pried, nudging him with her elbow.

"_Nothing_"

Cissnei continued to stare, knowing that if she kept those amber orbs boring into him long enough, he would crack.

"Alright, alright," Zack muttered, "My dad said 'Love you'"

"I know I have nothing to compare it to, but isn't that fairly normal? It depends on your culture, of course, but it's not like it's totally unheard of."

"No, just unheard of for _my_ father. I mean, I always knew he did, I just never expected him to say it," he scratched the back of his head, faking a smile, "Maybe I should have disappeared earlier?"

"You're really embarrassed about this, aren't you?" Cissnei teased, half surprised and half amused.

"Well, after a lifetime of 'man up and walk it off' I'm not exactly used to it,"

"Awww, ain't that sweet?" Barret said, jumping at the chance to pick on Zack as much as Cissnei.

"I hate all of you," Zack muttered.

While everyone else wore expressions of varying levels of amusement, Cissnei was audibly laughing, "We're not judging, just observing-"

"Right"

"-And carefully calculating said observations to form an impression upon which we base our opinion of you. But we mean it in the most non-judging of ways. Besides, aren't you a little old to be embarrassed about this sort of thing? "

As he began to try to think of some kind of witty retort, he realized he was the only one who still had living family or any kind of home to miss. Suddenly eager to change the subject to anything other than family, he finally decided on, "Aren't _you_ a little too old to not know what a smore is?"

Cissnei let out an exaggerated sigh, "You're back on the marshmallow thing again?"

Zack grinned a moment, then stopped as he remembered their last conversation about parents, "You know, you still never told me your real name"

Her false agitation vanished, replaced by a somewhat uncomfortable demeanor, "I would tell you if I knew."

"What do you mean?" Zack asked, confused, "Don't you keep your real name until you join the Turks?"

"I was five when I came to the Shinra orphanage. At least that's what the records say. I'm not sure exactly how old I am; just somewhere in my early twenties," she crossed her arms and paced a few steps, "The facility I was sent to was a 'special' program for potential future agents. I was given the number 117 and was forbidden from ever speaking my real name. It was supposed to make us stronger, better soldiers, employees, whatever. Dehumanize everything we did. We were given strange lessons and were never to speak of home. Over time, I began to forget my family, my friends, and finally my name. I can't remember who I was before I became One-Seventeen."

Cissnei looked around to see if she should stop, but everyone was now intently listening to her story. With a nod of encouragement from Zack, she continued.

"Later, I was transferred to another orphanage where the rules were less rigid. We weren't supposed to say our real names, but we weren't really punished if we did. Unfortunately, I didn't realize that until much later. A girl asked me what my name was, she said I should tell her so I wouldn't forget. Whether I had already forgotten, or was just too afraid to say it, I'm not sure, but she told me that if I wouldn't tell her my real name, she would give me a new one. That was the day I became Cissnei. When I joined the Turks, the only requirement was that the name you use couldn't be your birth name, so I felt no need to change."

"It's a little ironic that the only name I know is _not_ mine is the one I choose to use. Then again, at least the certainty knowing it isn't my name is better than perpetually questioning whether it is or not. Over the years I've begun to wonder, does Cissnei not being my birth name make it any less real? What does it matter what my real name was if I can't remember anyone who called me by it? Everyone who I can remember that mattered to me called me Cissnei. As far as I'm concerned, Cissnei is my name. Does it even matter what my real name was?"

Her question hung in the air, those around her unsure whether it was rhetorical, or if she was expecting an answer. Apparently she wasn't, for she then turned briskly addressing her companions, "I guess we'd better get out of the way and quit occupying this poor woman's phone."

Everyone was quieter. The more they learned about Shinra, the worse it got. Zack briefly wondered if Reno had ever had a family either. How many Turks had been with Shinra from the beginning? It would explain their apparent undying loyalty. He wanted to ask them both if they knew anything else about the inner-workings of Shirna, but it seemed the wrong time to ask and he was too tired to do much investigating anyway. The moment they reached the rooms, Zack crashed onto the bed, exhausted.

"Wake me up and someone isn't dying, _you_ will be shortly," he muttered into the pillow to no one in particular, but thinking of Reno.

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><p>Ahhh, it's good to be back, even if it is just a transition chapter. Next one is much better IMO. Should be up by this weekend. And I <em>promise<em> some Cloud POV because this chapter was seriously lacking in such. My goal is to update once a week. And please have mercy on this chapter as I am waaay out of practice.


	21. Chapter 21

As soon as I'm back on a schedule, my laptop decides to have a heartattack -_- I just can't win these last few months. I should go through and proof read this, but I'm half asleep and have an AP test tomorrow, so hopefully I didn't leave any sentences half finished.

Everyone go listen to No Light, No Light while you read because I was listening to it practically the entire time I was writing this! Okay, not really, but Florence and the Machine is an amazing band, and this is coming from a classic rock addict/metalhead (Aerosmith forever!)

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><p><strong>FullMetalPanic<strong>, first of all, FMP has been on my to watch list FOREVER and you've reminded me that I need to watch this. Secondly... thank you! I have so many people who favorite or subscribe and never review, then you write five long, specific, and all around amazing reviews. And during my extended absence, no less. Maybe this is evidence of an inflated ego, but there's something very gratifying about having your own words quoted by anyone. I'm so glad you liked it ^_^

Being inside Zack's head is an interesting place. He's naturally an optimist, but surrounded by evil and horror. Whenever I see Zack in circumstances so awful they're impossible, and he goes out smiling, it's both sad and inspirational. I wanted to keep Zack's optimism through the terrible, but without killing him because then I may have to cry all over again.

You're right about how close Zack was to surviving. He almost made it, which is part of why it kills so much to play the last level of the game. It's so close, but just not enough.  
>Tseng definitely pulled some strings to get Aerith's situation arranged.<p>

LOL. The game has so many overly convenient plot devices, I gave up trying to avoid them. They will be there no matter what I do, so I might as well use them.

I try to avoid reading the earlier chapters with the exception of the first because they really weren't that great. What can I say, I was a new writer.

Nolan and Square should do a project together! That would be amazing!

**LastOrder1**, Thanks for reviewing again! Zack and Cloud is pretty much always my favorite part to write. I believe they will be highjacking the story again in a chapter or so. Every few chapters, I get one where no one else really matters, it's all about Zack and Cloud.

**XxOngakuxX**, I love the enthusiasm in your reviews XD. Whatever the emotion, they're always expressive. I wish I could promise regular updates, but lately that isn't looking possible. All I can promise is my best not to leave you hanging for too long.

**Lartovio,** told you I'd come back. Sadly, that seems to be the only thing I can promise because every time I try to make a regular updating schedule, something throws it off. Glad to here I haven't totally lost my touch!

**Furionknight, **thank you so much! Glad you like it.

**OhJay**, Lol. I'll try, but sometimes death sneaks up on me.

**Oodball167**, I honestly didn't even think of that, but you're right. Cloud must get to glaring!

**Klaw117**, thank you so much! Return isn't going quite as smoothly as I had hoped, but I'm sticking with this if it kills me. Geostigma didn't make a lot of sense in the original, so I made up my own cause/origin. All shall be explained, I promise.

**Kiseki**, awww, thank you so much! Excellent latin skills there, btw. Yes, your deduction is correct. Still makes me shudder. I love trying to figure out all the real world parallels in fantasy worlds. You can usually figure out the race and culture each is based on. "And some people's hair sticks up more" Lol (no, seriously, I actually did laugh out loud. Which is a bad idea since everyone else is in bed...) Thanks for reviewing!

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><p>Really sorry if I missed anyone. My email is being hormonal along with my laptop.<p>

To avoid this becoming a personal blog I'll shut up and actually put in a story:

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><p>"First and foremost, we need to find a way to get on a ship without being captured or killed," Zack announced as they entered the streets of Junon. It was like a daily game of Stratego, except that when you moved into a higher piece or bomb and lost, there was no starting over.<p>

"It shouldn't be too hard to blend in with how active this place is," Cissnei commented, "It seems like the entire town is going out today."

"I was wondering about that," Reno added, "What is everyone all hyped up about, anyway?"

"Haven't you heard?" a local woman asked, "The reception of President Shinra is today."

"I thought he was dead. Do we have a zombie president now? That'd be frickin awesome." Reno returned.

"Not that one, the new one. His son, Rufus."

"Fantastic," Reno appeared far from enthused, "Now instead of the corrupt, finance maniac, we get his arrogant, power-hungry brat."

"Don't say that!" the woman looked around frantically, "You can't say things like that here. You'll end up in trouble you can't imagine."

"Actually, I think I can imagine. And I also believe there's a limit to how much 'trouble' you can be in. After you've reached 'inevitably doomed', I don't think there's really another step up to take."

"We are _not_ going to test that theory," Zack warned him with a steely glare, "Thank you for informing us," he said to the woman and she quickly took her leave, deciding it was best not to get involved with such riffraff. The moment she was out of earshot, he turned back to Reno.

"Do you want to get us all killed, or have you just given up on self-preservation and don't care?"

"Forgive me for my insolence," he begged in mock remorse.

"Not insolence, carelessness, and you know it. You were a Turk, Reno, you know how to blend in. Could you at least try not to get us caught?"

"I could take him off yer hands for ya'," Barret offered, "He'd shut up for a loooong time."

"Let's just figure out a plan of action," Zack attempted to rein conversation back into focus.

"I'd like to go give our new President a warm welcome," Barret said grinning deviously.

"We aren't getting involved with this," Zack said firmly, "We've barely made it this far _without_ looking for a fight."

"But think 'bout all the intell we'd pick up listenin' in on the new Pres's intro?"

"I hate to say it," Cissnei added, "But he's right. We're pretty far out of the loop with what's going on in the world, and the President is definitely someone we want to keep tabs on. Besides, we need to cross the ocean, so we'd have to head into town anyway. We'll just stop by for a bit and listen in."

"Fine. But we're staying out of sight and away from everything Shirna, got it?"

The city square was a chaotic mass of sardine-packed humans. With how crowded the streets were, Cloud assumed it was probably the safest they'd been in months. It may have even been fun if they hadn't had the ocean-crossing objective and paranoia to remind them of their situation. The only one who seemed to be enjoying themselves was Tifa. She had lived in Nibelhiem, then Midgar. A small town where nothing happens, to the most desecrated city on earth. She hadn't seen any of the good populated areas could bring, and now she looked around in wonder at the festivities. Balloons the size of small cars and a precession of people whom, if one could forget they were Shinra, actually created an arresting spectacle. As it was, all Cloud could see was more of Shinra's charades, feigned goodwill masking their calamities.

It was too late that he realized he had allowed himself to become too lost in Tifa's enjoyment and his own begrudging to notice the figure they were approaching. A Shinra officer stood but a few feet away from them. He attempted to escape into the crowd, but it was too late; the man had seen him and running would only look suspicious and raise an alert. He quickly grabbed Zack's arm and pulled him away from the others.

"We've been spotted," he whispered hastily, "Betting the eyes gave us away. Look like you don't know the others. They might still be able to get away."

Zack caught on immediately walked directly toward the approaching adversary, "Looks like you caught us. Never was good at skipping out. When I was a kid and cut class, got caught every time."

Cloud tried to look like he agreed in spite of knowing Zack got away with 90% of the stunts he pulled as a SOLDIER, "Guess we're not as clever as we thought."

"I'd think not. If you're going to shirk your duties, it's probably best not to do so on the same street," he scoffed.

"Plan was that if we were _at_ the parade, we could answer the 'If you were there, what streets did they cover," and 'what color was whatever float' sort of questions and still not have to do anything," Zack replied smoothly. Cloud was glad to have a superfluous duty-slacking veteran on his side.

"Quick to fess up, aren't you?" the officer smirked.

"I know when I'm beat," Zack went on, "If you keep trying to lie your way out of it, you just dig your hole deeper."

"Back in uniform then," he ordered, "And _maybe_ I'll let you off with a warning."

"Yes, sir," they answered in automatic unison. Just after the officer turned around, Cloud caught Tifa's eye through the crowd.

_Meet you at the docks_, he mouthed. She nodded in understanding, then disappeared into the crowd.

Once in the confines of the changing rooms, Cloud began in a hushed whisper, "We're screwed"

"Maybe not," Zack disagreed, "We're terrifyingly close to the enemy, but this could work to our advantage. Hiding in plain sight is much easier than trying to sneak aboard. I'm actually liking our odds here."

"So just play along until we can slip away and meet up with the others?"

"I don't think we have another option."

"Great," Cloud muttered more to himself than to Zack, "More charades for Shinra."

Dance, puppet, dance. If they were at any time within rage, he wasn't sure if he would have the discipline to resist simply killing the President now, finally putting an end to the continual skulking in the shadows. Once again wearing their uniform added insult to injury; he was bowing down and taking orders from the company he most wanted nothing to do with. At least this time, the duplicity was on his side.

They joined the ranks of the uniformed men and quickly fell into step with the old familiar rhythm, the march of a soldier.

"This is a parade," the commander shouted over them, "And with it comes performance. Rifle spinning; usual routine."

"You remember how to do any of this?" Zack whispered.

"Not a all"

"Guess we're winging it then."

Cloud followed along without much difficulty, having used a gun for the majority of his career. Zack, on the other hand, hadn't had anything to do with grunt routines in nearly ten years. Cloud did his best to stand between Zack and the commander to obscure view of Zack's delayed reactions and clumsy throws.

"What's the point of this, anyway?" Zack muttered in frustration, "How is this ever going to help anyone? It's not like you can twirl your opponent to death! Who cares if you know how to spin it if you can just shoot the damn thing?"

After a miserable twenty minutes of spin-marching, the platoon reached the airships. Zack 'dropped' his gun and took his time brushing it off until they were far enough behind to slip into the crowd unnoticed. Cloud had expected finding the others to be difficult since they were all trying to go unnoticed, but regardless of attire, Barret was always the size of a small tank and for once, it was a good thing. As they approached, Zack pressed the back of his hand over his mouth trying to stifle his laughter.

"What's so funny?" Barret asked angrily, clad in the most ridiculous sailor uniform known to man.

"You look like a bear wearing a marshmallow," he laughed. "Where did you even find that thing?"

"Bite me," Barret snapped and refused to speak to or even look at Zack the remainder of the conversation as Tifa, Cissnei, and Reno told them of their break into a transport vehicle and subsequent raid of their supplies, gaining the rest of them uniforms, but none were big enough for Barret, so they stopped at several stores along the way until they found something. The sailor uniform was, in fact, the least absurd of their options.

"Looks like we're stowing away on a military ship then," Cloud concluded, "We'd better not screw this up. On a ship, there's nowhere to run."

"Well, we're living on the edge," Zack replied. They quickly melted into the crowd boarding the airship, then slipped into the labyrinth of hallways below deck. After a nerve-wracking search for solitude, they came across an unoccupied room full of pipes and machinery in the lowest level of the decks.

Within half and hour, the adrenalin rush from boarding and enemy-infested ship gave way to boredom. Cissnei and Reno began a card game on the floor with a deck they had bought while purchasing Barret's suit, Zack paced, Barret discovered every possible way to deliver an agitated sigh, Tifa stared out the window, and Cloud simply closed his eyes in exhaustion.

_You are my protegee. _

_You are my successor. _

_You don't hate me, you are me_

"Cloud? Hey, you awake?"

Cloud jumped, "How long was I out?"

"About 16 hours," Zack answered, "Looks like you finally caught up on some sleep."

"Must be the motion," Cloud commented, nauseated, but it was almost worth the sickness to finally sleep some.

"Guess so. I hated to wake you up, but we're going to be there in an hour, so we really need to get on planning what to do when we get out. Suggestions?"

"I think that'd be pretty obvious," Reno responded.

"Oh, really? Well then, great enlightened one, why don't you tell us mere mortals where we're supposed to go next?"

"See, I would think you would want to go rescue Aerith, but maybe I'm misreading here," Reno retorted.

"I think you're missing the part where _I don't know where she is,_" Zack's tone hardened at the mention of Aerith.

"You mean she still hasn't told you?" Reno said, genuinely surprised, "Aerith is in Nibelhiem with an old acquaintance of yours."

"What acquaintance?"

"Hojo"

Zack froze for a moment, then burst out angrily, "Why the hell didn't you tell me this sooner?"

"I thought she would," he gestured incriminatingly to Cissnei, "She'd be a better person to tell you than I would."

Zack turned to her in disbelief, "You knew...? You knew and you didn't tell me?"

"Zack, I-" she stammered, "I didn't mean to lie to you, I just thought-"

"Just thought what?" he shouted angrily, "That we would go get her when it was convenient for you? What's wrong with you?"

"It's just that you get so irrational when you're trying to save someone. We're already headed in that direction anyway, so we are on our way to save her. I just didn't want you to-"

"To do what? To actually do something for her after I abandoned her for five years?"

"To do something stupid and get yourself killed!" she exclaimed, her voiced elevated almost to the same volume as his, "You're not rational when you're like this! I thought it was better to wait until we crossed to tell you."

"I guess I shouldn't blame you too much," he said, bitterly sarcastic, "You did used to lie for a living. You're not supposed to feel things like sympathy for an innocent captive being tortured by a madman." He stormed to the doorway and put the Shinra helmet back on.

"Hey, come on, Fair," Reno called after him, "It's not her fault I didn't-"

"I'm going on deck to see what the best way off is," Zack cut him off, "Meet you all back here in half and hour."

The room was silent. Cloud so rarely saw Zack genuinely angry he wasn't sure how to react. Cissnei appeared to be fighting back tears, but none fell. She grabbed her own helmet and hurried to the door.

"I'll be back," she told them and rushed out.

"Smooth, Reno," Cloud shot, "You've been here, what? A few days, and you've already got people screaming at each other."

"I tell it like it is. You don't like it, don't ask for my impute."

Cloud sighed. As if their situation wasn't complicated enough.

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><p><em>You're not supposed to feel things like sympathy for an innocent captive being tortured by a madman.<em>

He knew exactly where to strike, to say she hadn't changed, that she had abandoned Aerith the same way she had him and Cloud. It wasn't her intention, but how could she ever expect Zack to believe her? She could never ever expect him to forgive her for her last transgression. How could she expect him to trust that she was doing the right thing in not telling him about Aerith? Cissnei was grateful for the helmet hiding her watery, red eyes.

"Hey, Cis"

She jumped and spun around in surprise, "Reno?"

"Bingo, Sherlock," he answered, "Nice day out."

"What are you doing up here?"

"Strife," he gestured to her left where Cloud was leaned over the railing. She'd forgotten how prone to motion-sickness he was. He continued, "Tifa's going to get some Dramamine for him, so I thought I should tail along and make sure he doesn't puke up any vital organs."

"That's oddly nice of you," she replied.

"I'm a nice guy"

"Oh, yes, quite the humanitarian," Cissnei smirked.

"Do I detect sarcasm?" Reno replied with feigned exasperation, "Philanthropy has always been my greatest value in life."

Cissnei managed to smile regardless of her current state of mind. After a moment of heav y silence, Reno spoke.

"I'm sorry about back there. I was just trying to harass Fair, not you. I thought you'd already mentioned it to him."

"It's okay," she sighed, "I had no right to keep it from him anyway."

"Well, he reacted just the way you said he would. He lost his head and stormed off. He would probably be better off if I hadn't told him. And now that I think about it, he probably thinks you've known since you started traveling with them, not just since I showed up, so if you explain you only found out yourself a few days ago, he might chill a bit."

"Maybe. But it's more the principle of the matter. I knew and I did nothing. I don't mean to be so cold, I just... I don't know how to change."

"Then don't," Reno said simply, "Emotions just get people killed."

"Spoken like a true Turk"

"You say that like it's a bad thing. It's not. You're trying to distance yourself from what Shinra's done as much as possible, but throwing away everything you learned while you worked for them is pointless. We learned how to work, how to fight, and how to survive from our training. We're skilled and efficient. The only thing wrong with it is what we were ordered to use our abilities for. Instead of denying who you are and what you can do, channel it in a new direction. Use what you learned as a Turk to save Aerith."

Cissnei looked at him in disbelief, "Who are you and what have you done with Reno?"

"He's on lunch break. This pansy nice guy is just filling in for a few minutes to deal with the crying girl."

"I'm not crying!" she denied indignantly, "But seriously, thanks for the insight."

"And everyone bet on me," Reno said, returning her indignation.

"Bet on you for what?" Cloud asked as he approached, his face a pale green color.

"If you stay a Turk long enough, odds are you'll see at least one member have a nervous breakdown," Cissnei explained, "I think we usually average about one every three years. Now it's been three years since the last snap, and with the stress of everything that's been going on in Shinra, people started taking bets on who would be next to crack. Naturally, everyone bet on Reno."

"And it's true that I've clearly gone insane," Reno added, "How else could I possibly have thought joining up with this band of fugitives was a good idea? But Cissnei did it first, so she was crazy before me. I believe you owe me a 20."

"Now that we're all sharing a bank account, a lot of good it's going to do you." she shot back.

"Still a better insanity rate than SOLDIER," Cloud shrugged, "From my experience, if you're mako exposed, 90% chance you'll end up institution-worthy."

He puked over the railing again as soon as he finished his sentence.

"Sorry," he muttered, "I thought I was done. I didn't think there was anything left to throw up."

"That's a lot disgusting," Reno told him.

"Ignore him," Cissnei brushed him off, "Is there anything we can do?"

Cloud shook his head, then something behind her caught his eye, "Here comes Tifa."

"Dramamine," she handed the bottle to Cloud along with a glass of water.

"Thank Gaia," he said as he quickly popped two into his mouth.

"I guess we should head back," Tifa suggested, "When Barret's left alone for too long, things break."

Cloud and Reno followed her until the latter noticed Cissnei hadn't moved, "You coming?"

"I'll be down in a minute," she said. He nodded and left.

She had to find Zack. It may be pointless, but she had to try. Maybe after some time to cool off, they would have a chance at reconciliation. She didn't know when to begin, so she simply took the first doorway below she saw. As she rounded the corner, she nearly collided with a man in the same uniform as she.

"Watch where you're going," he snapped. She froze for a moment, recognizing the voice. She answered in a lower tone than her usual voice and spoke with the southern-Wutainese accent she had perfected on her last mission to the far western country.

"Sorry," she quickly walked away in disbelief, glancing over her shoulder to confirm her impossible suspicions. Same body type, same stiff poster, same calculated steps. Only someone who had met him in person would be able to tell he had just passed Rufus Shinra. His landing had been known by everyone. Why would his exit be so secretive? Anyone else she would assume was simply after some privacy, but Rufus Shinra was too proud to ever degrade himself to the status of a foot-soldier unless implored by a tactical purpose.

Maybe Reno was right. She was a Turk, regardless of what she wanted to remember, so she might as well use it to her advantage. With silent precision, she pursued her former superior through a maze of hallways into the heart of the ship. She soon found herself before the double doors to a section of the ship requiring a key card to enter. It was a risk to attempt to slip in after Rufus before the doors closed, but one she had to take.

_Three... two... one... _

She sprinted for the door in what she hoped what enough time to allow Rufus to round the next corner and herself enough to slip through, but soon found she had underestimated the time of her sprint. For split second, she wondered if the door would reopen upon sensing something in it's way, or simply crush her hand as she thrust it between the closing doors. She flinched in anticipation, then felt a briefly uncomfortable pressure, before the doors reopened. With a relieved sigh she made a mental note she would have to thank what was left of the safety department, if it even still existed, for their renovation if she was ever granted the chance.

She had pictured the area she was entering to be dark and bland, reflecting it's secretive nature as well as the rest of the cargo ship, but instead she found it to be the brightest and most elaborately adorned section of the vessel; Rufus must have taken this ship before. Golden-framed paintings hung on warm ivory walls, contrasting the deep red carpet. She couldn't fathom why a cargo ship would contain such a place unless Rufus used this transport often. Even in disguise, he was ostentatious. She continued down the hallway until she rounded to corner to see him enter a room. As she crept to the door and pressed her ear against it, her heart nearly stopped at the sound of her former mentor's voice.

"With all do respect, sir, he's not an easy person to just 'get rid of'," Tseng said, "He's the greatest SOLDIER we've ever seen."

"I'm not taking orders from some glowing-eyed psycho who burned an entire town to the ground. Yes, I know all about Nibelhiem," Rufus retorted, "He has everything in the world to threaten us with. He could reveal everything Shinra has kept under wraps in the past few decades, and if we in return try to label him as a madman and bring to light his homicidal rampage, we then condemn ourselves, confessing we helped cover it up."

"I understand that it's a frustrating situation, and I'd like to see him dead as much as anyone, but regardless of his true character, the media has portrayed him as a great hero, and we helped them do it to save our own skins. If we try to kill him and fail, we risk full fledged rebellion. And even if we do succeed, how do we explain his sudden death while in our custody without looking suspicious?"

"You want to talk suspicious, Sephiroth still has no alibi the night my father was killed. The only reason I don't investigate father is that if I discover Sephiroth did kill him, I'll owe him a favor. I'm doubtful Nibelhiem will be his last killing spree and I will not be caught in his next. I'll take him out before he does me. And if you won't help me, I'll do it myself."

"For my own peace of mind, I'm going to tell myself you are speaking in agitation rather than earnest. Before we end up stabbing each other without Sephiroth even involved, lets move to other urgent matters. Hojo wants to move the ancient to Shinra's main scientific facility in Wutai, correct?"

"It is. I know your personal feelings on the matter, Tseng, but I have been ensured it is necessary to the well being of Shinra."

Tseng paused for a moment, "Do even you know what's really going on there?"

"I've been told a few generalizations and am planning a flight out succeeding my next stop to determine for myself the state of the situation. Even as president, I'm still left in the dark as to the details."

"Sir... may I ask when Aerith is to be transported?"

A long silence transpired before Rufus answered.

"That is not of your concern. Many of the Turks have proven to have questionable loyalties. I'm sure even you won't try to deny that fact in light of recent events. With two of your former subordinates among the enemy, I do not intend to divulge anything drastically important to the Turks."

"And notice, sir, that I have sent out the order to kill both of them. I have not resisted you. I had not the chance to so much as say goodbye to either of them before I determined them my mortal enemies. Can I not at least say goodbye to this one last acquaintance you have determined fugitive when she has committed no crime to be detained upon? I confess it is in my best interests to remain in your good graces, as loss of your positive regard could result in my termination, but neither do you want me as an enemy or I may present to you the same dilemma as Sephiroth is now."

Cissnei was stunned to hear eternally loyal Tseng blatantly threaten a superior, and soon found herself smiling at the idea of him finally standing against the tyrants above him. A heavy silence passed between them before Rufus finally relented.

"Cell C17. You have two weeks. Enjoy your visit."

Footsteps progressed toward her. Whether they would come through the door or not, she was unsure, but she had pushed her luck far enough and sprinted back to the door through which she had first entered. She was fortunate to find that a keycard was not required to exit and sprinted to return on time for her rendezvous with the others.

"Where the hell have you been?" Reno asked as she entered their designated meeting room.

"Rufus Shinra is on board. So is Tseng. Rufus wants to kill Sephiroth and they're moving Aerith to Wutai in two weeks. She's in cell C17 in the basement of Shinra Manor right now."

After a moment to process her outpouring of information, Zack replied, "Looks like we finally have a direction."

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><p>This still felt a little lacking in Cloud, but perhaps that's just because I have a tendency to do EVERYTHING from his POV... even when it doesn't make sense. Yes, it's a battle to favor plot over personal character love.<p>

Another travel chapter, but I did finally delve into some plot there at the end. Next chapter may go over the week goal as well since it's fairly important to overall storyline.

Btw, anyone else as psyched as I am for the new Hunger Games movie this weekend?


	22. Chapter 22

Guess who finally got a new/functional laptop?

I'm so sorry for taking so long. I won't waste your time with excessive grovelling because there's really nothing I can say to excuse this. I don't know why, but it just wasn't coming to me. Extreme writer's block I guess. I knew where I wanted to end up, but I just couldn't get there. Finally found the zone again, as well as the time.

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><p><strong>LastOrder1<strong>

Thank you! Even when they're barely in it, it seems Zack and Cloud always steal the show. Idk why twirling guns is considered a skill, although I'll admit it looks pretty cool.

**XxOngakuxX**

Sephiroth is sort of going to be the Kabuto of this story (if you've seen Naruto) on everyone's side and no one's. He's on his own side, but will team up with other people if he has to. Whatever benefits him. I'm really liking the Lucrecia idea.

I'm so glad you liked the chapter! And yeah, I hate how Reno is always shown as a bumbling idiot. If he's in the Turks he can't be all jokes or he would have died a long time ago. And your review are always wonderful, sick or not! I'm so sorry I made you wait so long.

**Naviar**

If you send your mob after me I will completely deserve it for this absurdly long wait. I'm so sorry it's been so long. I just couldn't find my mojo for some reason. Hopefully this will help atone. And although I try not to indulge too much, I'm a total sucker for the protectiveness sap. Also, I don't plan on killing off major characters as in Zack and Cloud, but I think for a fighting story to be in any way realistic, someone is going to have to bite the dust. But don't worry, I would never have the heart to kill Zack or Cloud. That would just kill me.

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><p>The next 20 minutes of the remaining half hour of the journey passed in awkward silence, finally ending when Zack decided to reiterate their current plan.<p>

"If we're separated on the way off the ship, meet up at the nearest non-Shinra infested road stop. Once we're clear of Shinra's dogs, we look for a plane to rent, or steal if we have to. It's risky, but we need to get to Nibelhiem fast and we just happen to have a certified pilot on our side now."

"That _s__ays_ he's on our side," Barret added.

"Are you seriously still on that?" Zack asked, weary of Barret complaints. He had done nothing but since Zack shot down his plan to follow Rufus off the ship.

"I don' trust Turks. Flyin' a plane doesn't make me like 'im"

"You know guys, I'm actually sitting right here," Reno added.

"It's not about trust," Zack answered Barret, "it's a matter of self-interest. I'm pretty sure he's not going to crash the plane while still on it himself, so who's side he's on is a moot point.

"Right here, everyone," Reno waved, "Sitting right here."

Zack continued to ignore him, "If we can scrape up the cash for a rental, no one will look for us for at least a few days, whereas if we steal one, they'll be on us immediately. Shinra doesn't know we've already crossed to ocean, so let's try to keep that advantage as long as possible. I'll have Reno make a list of models that can make it to Nibelhiem without stopping to refuel."

"Seriously, did I die on another part of the ship, and now this is my unseen spirit haunting you?" Reno interjected.

The ship shuttered as an announcement came over the intercom, "Approaching destination. Please prepare to exit the premises in two minute."

"Yer a coward, Fair," Barret muttered angrily.

"What was that?" Zack said, daring him to continue, "I've watched good men die, friends turned enemy, and the world torn apart. Through Shinra's pursuit, I've kept us _alive. _I'm not a coward, you're just stupid."

"Zack," Reno cut in, "I know it's risky, but we might not ever get another chance like this. Think about it, one death is a freak accident, two is ineptitude. If we take out the new President so soon after the first's death, we may be able to shake the entire chain of command and Shinra's hold over the media."

"Who's side are you on?" Zack exclaimed.

"I wasn't aware we were taking sides," Reno retorted.

"I hate to say it, but he's right," Cissnei added, "This is a golden opportunity. They don't know we're on this side of the Ocean, so we have an advantage."

"An advantage we'll need to rescue Aerith," Zack almost shouted, "Incase the rest of you have forgotten."

"We have to look at the big picture here," Reno went on, "Taking down Shinra is more important than anyone, even Aerith."

Zack turned away, muttering, "Freaking Turks."

"At least the Turks have spins," Barret said.

That was the final straw. Zack slammed him against the wall, his forearm pinning the man twice his size to the metal.

"You think I haven't given enough for the greater good? What have you sacrificed? What gives you the right to tell me I owe you more? We have more than enough to deal with without your bull," his steely blue eyes seemed to unnerve even Barret, "Now you can shut up, or get the hell out."

Let him go and headed for the door, "Time to go."

As planned, they left the lower decks to disappear into the crowd forming around the exits. Each was sure to remain far enough apart as to not appear together, but still be within eyesight of the others. Finally, the doors lowered and the crowd spilled out onto the dock. They split into pairs and began their search; Zack and Cloud because at least if the eyes gave them away, they would be the only ones condemned, Cissnei and Reno, Barret and Tifa because she was the only one who would be able to put up with him.

"You okay?" Cloud asked Zack as they walked.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he replied, "It's just been a long… decade."

"Believe me, I know," Cloud concurred. He paused a moment before finishing, "She's going to be alright, Zack. We'll find her."

"I just can't stand to think Hojo has her," Zack blurted out, "Isn't one friend enough?"

"You saved me, didn't you?"

"Eventually," Zack answered dejectedly, then lifted his head, "Sorry to be such a downer. I should be happy, shouldn't I? I finally know where she is. This is the closest we've ever been."

"There we go!" Cloud encouraged, "I'm glad you managed to cheer yourself up, because I'm really terrible at being positive."

Zack grinned, "You don't need to tell me."

"Go ahead; find your positivity at my expense. See if I care."

"You really don't want to open that door, Chocobohead."

"Zack!" Tifa shouted as she ran toward them, "Barret's gone. I was talking to one of the rental owner's and when I turned around he was gone. I think he went after-"

"Rufus," Zack finish, "Of course."

"Well, come on, let's go," Tifa urged.

"No," Zack said flatly, "He got himself into this, he can get himself out."

"I understand you reasoning, but-"

"But what?"

"I'm sorry, Zack," Tifa said nervously, "I found Reno and Cissnei first. They already went after him."

Zack cursed under his breath, "I guess we don't have a choice then, do we?"

Tifa quickly led them to the building she had seen Barret enter.

"You're kidding, right?" Zack said in disbelief.

"I know, it's sick," Tifa replied miserably.

Before them was an elementary school.

"I'm assuming the lab is underneath it," Cloud said, "Using kids as shields is low, but it does make sense."

"Don't admire them, Cloud," Zack said miserably, "It's not smart, it's appalling."

"Who says it can't be both?" Cloud replied.

"Sometimes I wonder about you," Zack shook his head, "But I guess you're right. Now how the hell are we supposed to get in?"

"How about the front door," Tifa said as she swung it open, "They're not completely sadistic. This protects them from aerial strikes, but I don't think even they would put traps in a school building. That will be waiting for us underground."

"You give them too much credit," Zack replied as they walking into the eerily cheerful building. A young woman, a teacher most likely, spotted Tifa, smiled and began to come toward her until she spotted Zack and Cloud.

"I'm sorry," she said ducking her head and slinked away, "I didn't mean to interfere with your business; I just hadn't seen you before and didn't realize you were with them until I saw the eyes." She rushed away to her classroom.

"I guess that confirms we're in the right place," Zack commented, then lead the way on their search for the basement door. After ten frustrating minutes of aimless wondering, Zack decided he was going to have to abuse the fear he unintentionally instilled.

"You," he demanded at a middle-aged woman walking by who stopped immediately, "Direct me to the entrance of the 'basement'."

"Yes, sir," she answered and lead them through a maze of stairs and hallways to the boiler room. At the far edge of the sweltering enclosure there was a storage crate. She began attempting to push it aside, but it was far too large for her. Zack pushed her aside and did it himself, doing his best to appear as though he did so out of inpatients rather than compassion.

Before them there was now a thick, metallic door which the woman promptly unlocked.

"May I return to my class now, sir?" she asked timidly. Zack nodded as curtly as his pity would allow.

Where he expected there to be a swarm of Shinra troops, there were only a few men in white lab coats. He wasn't sure which he hated more. In spite of his innate abhorrence of Shinra scientists, he decided to give these men a chance, "Everyone against the wall, now!"

As they obeyed, Zack noticed one man lying motionless on one of the tables and another on the floor.

"What did you do to them?" Zack demanded, now prepared to kill them all if need be.

"_We_ did nothing. That man with the gun-arm shot them. Twelve others as well. Those you see were two of seven we weren't able to save."

That explained the lack of security. Zack took a deep breath; being ready to kill people for crimes they didn't commit wasn't something he strove to make a regular thing, "Which way did he go?"

The scientist who had become unofficial spokesmen of the group pointed farther into the tunnel, "It will take you to Rufus. That's who you're after right?"

"So you're just selling out your superior?" Zack hated Rufus, but as a soldier, he remained disgusted that they would give him up so easily. As soon as a superior found at was he had done, he would be dead anyway. He gained nothing but the status of cowardice. Or at least he thought.

The man turned to look at his fallen comrades, "Enough people have died on his account."

Zack couldn't help but smile, "Welcome to the resistance, my friend. It's hell, but at least when you finally get killed it was for something worth dying for."

They ran through the tunnel, which sloped downward for a few hundred feet, then began to ascend leading to a trapdoor. Zack punched upward and discovered mako and adrenaline was a potent combination. The door swung upward, allowing them to climb through. They made it down one hallway before they hit the battle zone. Cissnei and Reno were taking cover behind a huge metal cylinder as bullets bounced off the other side in a rain-like rhythm, fired by at least two dozen grunts. Cloud immediately launched himself into the fight with perfect, calm precision, taking down a guard with his first stroke. Zack quickly followed, blocking a stream of bullets aimed at Reno and Cissnei, giving them a chance to regain their bearings. Tifa entered the fight a bit less directly; she quickly climbed the web of pipes covering the wall and ceiling and dropped a lightening materia that paralyzed the men closest and killed the one directly beneath it, then dropped behind their enemy.

Cloud took full advantage of the confusion and disorder of their enemy and took down six in only a few moments. A moment later, a swift kick to the back of the head by Tifa gave Zack a perfect opening to finish his current enemy. There were only four left now. As Tifa managed to get underneath the aim of the gunman closest to the doorway leading farther into the building and swept his legs out from underneath him, Cissnei spotted an opportunity to escape.

"I'll find Barret and Rufus," she shouted as she ran through the doorway.

"Cissnei, wait!" Zack shouted, his moment of distraction costing him as a bullet sank into his left upper arm. He retaliated with a fiery blast of materia that was likely wasteful and unnecessary, but he no longer cared. He turned to continue fighting, but found there were none left but his own comrades, and found himself facing Tifa.

"I'm glad we stocked up on materia before we crossed the ocean. This stuff comes in handy."

"We need to get out of here," Zack cut her off, "I'll find Cissnei, everyone else, go."

"I thought we were here to kill Rufus," Reno replied, "And what about Barret?"

"I haven't changed my mind," Zack retorted, "I'm here to get you and Cissnei. Barret is on his own."

"If we're already here," Cloud said, "We might as well finish the job."

"Exactly," Reno agreed.

"Fine," Zack relented, "Do what you want. Just meet up back at the docks. Looks like we will be stealing a ride after all."

They went through the doorway together, then split up through the various passages that led off into different parts of the building. Zack ran blindly, hoping just that if he ran far enough, he would find her before Shinra did. Finally, he rounded a corner to see the petite form of the amber-eyed Turk reading the nameplate above the doorframe before her, "Rufus Shinra". Cissnei opened the door to the President's sweet, shuriken raised, ready to strike.

But it wasn't Rufus; before her stood the towering figure of a silver-haired man.

"I may not be the man you are looking for," Sephiroth smirked, "But I certainly am the one you should be afraid of." Without a changing in expression, he lifted his sword and stabbed it through amber-haired girl's stomach. She didn't scream, she simply looked up at him with wide eyes, then went limp.

"CISSNEI!" Zack screamed, he rushed forward and lifted her gently from the cold ground, her blood quickly soaking through his clothing.

"Zack… how bad is it?"

"It's not that bad," he lied desperately, "You're going to be fine."

"Hello, Zackary," Sephiroth said calmly, "It's been quite some time."

Zack was too stunned to muster anything more than a weak utterance of, "You're insane."

"No, Zackary, I believe I may be the lone sane man left on the earth," he replied, "to allow the world to go on as it is would be madness. So I will destroy the world, and from the ashes, create it anew."

"Zack… you should get out of here," Cissnei told him.

"Don't worry about that. We're going to be fine"

Cissnei stared into his terrified eyes and smiled, "So blue... it's not fair. How was I supposed to resist that?"

"What do mean?"

"Oh, Zack," she almost laughed, "You were always so oblivious. I'm glad that you could never tell"

"Cissnei..."

"I hope... you and Aerith can be happy together someday," she reached up to place her hand on his cheek, "I always told myself... that was what I wanted, but now... I think I can really mean it."

Zack froze, realizing the meaning of her words.

"I always wondered what my last words would be," she said dreamily, "I hoped they would be something memorable, but now... I can't think of anything to say... But at least I get to say them to you. You'll remember me anyway, won't you, Zack?"

"I- Cissnei, please, don't"

"Hey... Zack... do you think... I'll have wings?" her eyes began to fade.

"Of course you will," Zack said through his tears, "The wings of an angel."

Cissnei smiled again as her eyes closed for the last time.

"Cissnei? CISSNEI!" Zack let out a half crazed scream of rage more animal than human and ran at Sephiroth, sword raised. Sephiroth met his blade with ease, then forced him to stumble backwards.

"You know Zack, your presence here make this entire ordeal much easier."

"I don't care what your objective is!" Zack screamed, charging again, "I don't care if you take over the entire damn world, as long as I get to kill you!"

"Oh, but I think you do," Sephiroth contradicted, swinging to meet him, "You always care, even if there is nothing you can do to fix it. It's a flaw of yours."

Sephiroth then went on the offensive, swinging again and again, backing Zack against the wall. Zack swung upward, driving Sephiroth's sword high above his head, giving him a chance to roll to the side and come up behind his enemy, cutting the back of Sephiroth's leg as he stood.

The silver-haired SOLDIER retaliated with six heavy blows, too powerful and too rapid for Zack to maintain his grip and the Buster Sword slipped from his hands, clattering a few meters from the fight.

Sephiroth pressed the end of his blade into Zack's chest threateningly, just hard enough to draw blood, "You will not move."

He moved his sword to just in front of Zack's throat and moved around him to pick up the Buster Sword, only able to do both at the same time due to the absurd length of his own blade.

"By the way, I believe this is what you were looking for," Sephiroth reentered the room he had first emerged from and with one hand lifted the limp corps of Rufus Shinra from his thrown-like chair and tossed him on the ground before Zack, "I'm afraid I beat you to him."

Sephiroth tossed the Buster Sword in front of his defeated once-comrade and disappeared into the network of hallways that riddled the building.

Zack no longer had the will to run after him. No matter what he did, he couldn't win. He was fighting a losing battle in a losing war. He couldn't stand another funeral. He pulled Cissnei's body onto his lap and wrapped his arms around her limp form. The fight no longer matter.

Perhaps minutes passed, maybe hours, time no longer mattered, when the sounds of footsteps and guns began to approach. He didn't move. If they killed him, so be it. It wasn't much of a life he would lose anyway. Then a familiar voice began to drag him out of the haze of despair.

"Zack! Zack, we need to get out of he- Oh, Gaia."

He looked up in time to see Cloud turn to block a barrage of bullets aimed at them.

"Zack, we have to go," he called over his shoulder as he attacked his pursuers.

Zack counted their bodies as they hit the ground, all the while focusing only on Cissnei's paling face. Cloud's hand touched his shoulder, "Zack, we need to go."

"Go without me"

"She wouldn't have wanted you to stay and die with her," Cloud told him, "she would have wanted you to live on."

"Live on for what?" Zack asked bitterly.

"I… I don't know. But we've survived this long; it seems a waste to throw it all away now. And I sure as hell am not leaving without you," Cloud stated immutably.

Cloud was still alive, Zack remembered, the one person he had been able to save. As long as Cloud lived, there was hope. And if he stayed here, wallowing in his sorrow, he could easily get them both killed.

"You're right," Zack wiped his eyes," I'm sorry." He kissed the top of Cissnei's head before laying her down in the puddle of blood that had collected around them, "Goodbye."

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><p>Again, I'm terribly sorry for my extended absence. You're all too good to me to stick with me for so long. Thank you everyone for the reviews! And I hope this wasn't too depressing.<p> 


	23. Chapter 23

Beginning college, a spark of insanity lead to declare that I would finish Premed in 3 years instead of 4 by attending summer session and 20 credits per full semester. I have now realized that if I continue this path, I will die. So next semester, you can start expecting regular updates again. You know you've been gone way too long when you have to read through your notes to remember what your plan was. My deepest apologies, everyone. Thank you for your patience

Oh, and my computer deleted part of this chapter and I had to rewrite it. Yeah. Fun.

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><p><strong>RANDOMNESS:<strong>

I was about 30 episodes into the Japanese dub of D Gray Man when it finally hit me that Lavi's seiyu is Zack and Kanda's is Cloud. Now it weirds me out every time they're in the same scene.

Extra awesome: Cloud's was Suzaku Kururugi and Zack's played Hikaru Hitachin.

If you don't watch anime, then disregard this entire intro as it means nothing to you.

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><p><strong>REPLIES:<strong>

I'll send messages now unless you don't have a fanfic account.

_MissChocobohead:_ Fear not, for this is not the end! Although I can see why people would start to think so.

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><p><strong>STORY:<strong>

When Zack and Cloud arrived at the docks, Barret and Tifa were there waiting. The former turned to Zack with a look of disdain.

"Guess yer Shinra dog friends agreed with me after all. Maybe you're not as-"

Zack punched him full in the face, "Cissnei is dead, you stupid, arrogant son of a bitch!"

Barret stopped just as he was preparing to return a blow, "Dead? How?"

"Saving your moronic ass!" Zack shouted, unleashing his grief as fury, "If you had for once in your life listened instead of diving in without a plan, she would still be alive right now!"

"I didn't ask you to come after me!" Barret bellowed.

"I wouldn't have! I would have let you die in there! But Cissnei was better than that. Even after all the times you harassed her about being a Turk, she was going to come save you!"

"I didn't ask her either! That was her choice," Barret's anger faded into defensiveness.

"She tried to save you, and your selfish stupidity killed her!" Zack's entire body shook as he took a deep breath to steady himself, "She was one of the few friends I had left… and you killed her."

"What do you want from me?" Barret asked miserably.

"I want you to leave," Zack demanded, "I want to never see you again."

"Fine by me," Barret turned to leave, "Let's go, Teef."

Tifa froze. Cloud was undyingly loyal to Zack, so leaving Zack automatically meant leaving Cloud. She and Barret had always been a team, but she and Cloud had something deeper. Before she had even met Barret, Cloud had been the shy boy with the spiky hair who never smiled. The boy who promised to protect her. He may not be the same Cloud she had known in Nibelheim, but somewhere in this grown and jaded Cloud, that boy still lived. She wasn't going to lose him for Barret's stubbornness and pride, even if it meant saying goodbye to the last member of the AVALANCHE she had retreated to after the destruction of everything she knew.

"I'm sorry, Barret," she said timidly, "I can't."

With a frustrated grunt, he kept walking, not once looking back until he was out of sight.

"What happened," Tifa asked, "To Cissnei, I mean. She always seemed so… I don't know… capable."

Zack briefly retold the story of Sephiroth's appearance with as few details as possible, "The real question is who will be President now that Rufus is gone?"

"We may be able to use this to our advantage," Cloud speculated, "Losing two Presidents that quickly would leave even Shinra in chaos."

"We can hope," Zack replied, doing his best to keep his focus on the mission. He had to save Aerith. He could not let her die too. He hadn't noticed until then the steady drumming in his ears of blood pulsing through him, blurring his vision. He closed his eyes in an attempt to ward off the dizziness building in his head. When it cleared enough for him to see somewhat straight, he noticed his sword lying on the ground. He must have been shaken to simply throw it down. He couldn't even remember doing so before. He moved to return it to its usual place on his back when he discovered his dexterity had taken a vacation.

"Dammit," he muttered, fumbling as he tried to force his fingers to close around the handle. They would not clench. All the strength had gone out of his hands, and when he thought about it, all of him. He managed to prop the weapon against his knee and hoped no one would notice.

"Zack, are you alright?" Tifa asked a few moments later.

"Fine," Zack said, clumsily drumming his fingers on his knee in an attempt to bring feeling and motor function back to them, "Just a little… shaken up, I guess. I knew her for a long time, ya know?" He flexed his right hand. It moved as his brain instructed. "I'll be fine," he lifted the heavy sword over his head and connected it to the magnet with more effort and focus than he'd used to stay a weapon since his first week in SOLDIER.

Then the moment he'd been dreading arrived: Reno was back.

"By the looks of it, no one found Barret and Cissnei," he commented.

"No, we found them," Cloud said gravely. Reno cocked his head questioningly.

"Barret left…" Tifa began, "And Cissnei…"

"Cissnei's dead," Zack finished, "Sephiroth was there. He killed Rufus and Cissnei."

Reno nodded wordlessly.

"I'm sorry," Zack said.

Reno's eyes were unfocused and distant.

"Reno," Zack snapped, trying to bring him back to reality.

"Shinra will be looking for us," Reno said emptily.

"You're right," Zack agreed and they left to scout out a decent mean of escape. After navigating a maze of aircrafts, to the farthest, least occupied corner of the field, they eventually located a decent helicopter.

"Reno," Zack called, "You're up."

"Finding the key's isn't my job."

"Reno, I know you can hotwire a helicopter. I've seen you do it a dozen times."

"I can, that doesn't mean I will," Reno muttered spitefully, "Why the hell should I save you?"

"So you think letting us all die will make you feel better?" Zack demanded angrily.

"You don't feel anything when you're dead! I don't owe you anything, Fair. I came here for Cissnei, not for you! I don't give a damn what happens to any of you!" Reno quickly found himself shoved against the side of the helicopter, his feet dangling a few inches above the ground.

"You've made the mistake of thinking I was asking," Zack growled, "You may not cares what happens to us, but you do care what happens to you. You rebelled. You're just as much a fugitive as we are. We're all in the same sinking ship. You are going to fly that helicopter, or you are going to die right here before Shinra has a chance to off you themselves."

Zack released him and waited a moment for the Turk to catch his breath before expecting a response. Reno glared at him spitefully, but complied, crawling into the cockpit to go to work.

"You were with her, weren't you?" Reno asked Zack abruptly.

"Yes"

"Did you love her?"

"I- what does that have to do with anything?" Zack stammered.

"She loved you," Reno answered, "She came here for you. So my question is, did you love her back?"

"I… I don't know."

"Poor Cissnei," he muttered.

Zack took a moment to collect his thoughts before replying, "I loved her like a sister. I guess you should have told her sooner you're the one who loved her any other way."

"You can go straight to hell, Fair. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Go directly to hell."

"Zack!" Tifa's anxious call interrupted, "Have you seen this?"

"Seen what?"

She handed him a newspaper and pointed to a section at the bottom of the page, "I picked this up when we got off the ship, but I didn't have time to read it until now. I knew we'd been out of the loop while we were running, but I didn't realize how much we missed."

"Shinra's greatest hero chosen as head of SOLDIER," Zack read aloud, "With Shinra's forces discouraged and depleted, a fresh approach appeared dire, and what better candidate than the company's star- Tifa, please don't make me read this, just tell me what's going on."

"Well that's basically it for information relevant to us. Sephiroth is the new head of SOLDER; the rest is just fluff and politics," she replied, "I guess we'll have to start keeping up with the papers to find out who the next President will be. With them dropping like flies, it may take a while for them to find a willing replacement."

"No it won't," Cloud contradicted, "With Shinra and his successor gone, the presidency will fall to one of the department leaders. Can you think of one of them who wouldn't jump at the opportunity to control Shinra Company? If we're lucky, it will be Tseng, but since the Turks aren't exactly employee of the month at the moment, more likely… Hojo or Sephiroth. I'm not sure which is worse."

"I hope it's Hojo," Zack commented. Cloud looked at him inquisitively.

"According to recent trend, if Hojo becomes president, Sephiroth will stab him to death and spare me the trouble," Zack explained, "Although he may do that without the incentive of stealing the presidency, now that I think about it."

Cloud shrugged in response and opened his mouth to reply when he heard footsteps.

"Hey, Reno, let's pick up the pace," Zack whispered.

"Piss off," he snapped irritably.

Zack was too exhausted for a witty reply, so instead positioned himself behind the plane across from their prospective helicopter to strike if the steps came their way.

"Got it," Reno announced and everyone but Zack piled in.

"What are you doing?" Tifa whispered frantically.

"You have to wait for the rotor to gain momentum, maybe long enough for our guest to get here."

Sure enough, the steps sped up, coming directly for them.

"Hey! You aren't supposed to take off from he-"

Zack threw his left arm around the man's neck and held his sword only an inch or two away with his right, "Here's the deal: You stay quiet and let us go, and I don't kill you. Got it?"

"Y-yes," the man answered.

"We're ready! Get in!" Reno shouted over the deafening blades. Zack backed toward the door and pushed the man away just before jumping on. A moment later, they lifted into the sky.

"Lot of death threats for you today, huh, Fair?" Reno shouted.

"Method I learned from the Turks," Zack shouted back. He leaned back, using a life vest as a makeshift pillow and closed his eyes. With distractions gone, he was too tired to face his grief, but also too tired to ignore it. The image of Cissnei's fading eyes simply tugged at the back of his mind, neither growing nor fading. He looked out the window so no one could see his eyes welling up. Fortunately, the roar of the rotors made it impossible for anyone to hear him as he spoke the only few words he could conjure in his weary mind, "I'm sorry, Cissnei. I tried. I swear, I tried."

* * *

><p>"Morning," Cloud greeted as Zack awoke. He was the only one still in the rears of the helicopter; Cloud and Tifa sat on the ground outside eating breakfast.<p>

"Where are we?"

"Just outside Nibelhiem."

"And you didn't wake me up!" Zack exclaimed grabbing his sword and jumping down.

"Getting there an hour earlier isn't going to change anything," Cloud reasoned, "We get to choose the time we attack. We best use it to our advantage. Eat something and then we'll go."

"I can't sit around eating while Aerith is-"

"Just do it Zack. Getting there sooner won't mean anything if we screw this up. Doing it fast isn't nearly as important as doing it right."

Zack grumbled incoherently, then shoveled down barely edible, unidentifiable food the others had already mixed from dried packets. He was nearly finished when he finally noticed one missing from their number, "Where's Reno?"

"Sleeping," Cloud answered, "He flew all night. I told him he should stay back and get some rest so he can fly us out of here once we find Aerith."

Zack nodded, taking a large swig of bottled water, "Alright, done. Let's go."

Cloud nodded and the trio set out to return to their most hated town. When they reached its edge, all three of them stopped in dismayed shock.

"How?" Tifa asked, bewildered.

"I don't know," Zack shook his head. The town before them was exactly the same as it had been the last day they had seen it, before Sephiroth burned it to the ground.

"You didn't see this when we left?" Cloud asked Zack.

"I… I don't remember," Zack furrowed his eyebrows, trying to conjure the hazy image, "I was still drugged up… everything is blurry. I was just running blindly in whatever direction would get me away from Hojo."

"So… what do we do?" Tifa asked, "Just walk in the main entrance?"

"I guess so," Zack shrugged, "But do so stealthily."

Cloud was about to comment on their complete lack of stealth on nearly every infiltration they had attempted since they teamed up with AVALANCHE, but was cut off by two young women rounding the corner. It was too late to attempt to hide, so they kept walking as naturally as possible.

"Hello," one of them said cheerfully, "What brings you here?"

"Just visiting," Zack replied.

"We don't get many visitors out here. It's nice to meet you," the black-haired one said, "I'm Kalaz."

"Zack," he said, doing his best to seem like he cared.

"Melly," the other girl said as she snapped a picture of him, possibly burning out his retinas with the absurdly bright flash, "Sorry, I'm just really into photography. It's my passion, you know?" She took another of Cloud.

"How nice," Cloud said dryly, clearly not any more fond of the situation than Zack.

"I have to go, but I'll see you guys later," Melly said as she skipped off, stopping only to take pictures of random flowers and buildings as she went.

"You get used to her," Kalaz stated, "Would you like a tour?"

"I think we're alright," Tifa said, "I grew up here."

"But so much has changed since then!" she protested

"It looks about the same to me," Tifa said, "We'll be fine. Thank you, though."

"At least let me-" he cell phone rang, "Hello... Alright... Yes… No, I understand." She closed the phone. "Could you please come with-"

Zack grabbed her before she could turn around, pressing his forearm tight against her throat.

"Zack!" Tifa shrieked in surprise.

"I remember you," he said icily, "You were in the lab. You were one of Hojo's."

"About time," she choked, "Now would you kindly get the hell off?"

"Give me one reason I shouldn't kill you right now."

"Because…" she gasped, "I let you."

"I escaped!" he shouted, "I broke out of the tank."

"I let you out," she sucked in a little more air through Zack's slightly slacken hold, "You thought I was Angeal. You were pretty drugged up."

Zack loosened his grip, "So are you going to do it again?"

"Afraid not," she swung her leg back, driving it into Zack's shin, throwing off his balance, then launched forward, throwing him over her head. Zack rolled once and jumped to his feet, spinning around to face her.

"Had a moment of compassion, but are still Shinra's dog after all," Zack commented.

"Not of compassion, of obligation."

"I actually don't care what that means," Zack swung his sword at her, sending her leaping back into the side of the building. He swung again, connecting with stone rather than flesh as she ducked and summersaulted under his blow. She reached back over her head for a weapon. When Zack swung again, his blow connected with her forearm, now covered in a metal sleeve that reached almost to her elbow and ended in three flat blades extending like 12-inch fingers on each hand.

She swiped under his arm and he jumped back to avoid being cut. With that, she turned and ran. A gunshot boomed through the street and blood burst from her right upper arm, but she kept running, disappearing around a corner. Zack turned to see Cloud lower his gunblade, eyes steely and detached, the way they always were when he was calculating.

"We don't have time to go after her," he said, "The other girl will have told someone we're here. We need to move before that information spreads."

"Barely through the gates and you've already screwed up," the red-haired Turk said as he strolled in, "This is why you need me."

Zack hesitated, studying Reno's demeanor. He didn't seem to be plotting to kill them in their sleep, but he could never be sure with a Turk, "Welcome aboard."

"Not here for you," Reno assured him, "I just thought it would be a shame to let someone as pretty as Lockheart die following such an idiot."

Tifa rolled her eyes.

"Thank," Zack replied, "That warms my heart."

They sped to Shinra manor, taking advantage of the low population density. Small bits of information flashed through Zack mind as they went. Shot here, stumbled there, nearly passed out over there. He kept each memory to himself and hoped Cloud's perception of the events stayed locked in his subconscious. With each step closer, his anxiety grew. Only Aerith could ever have brought him back here.

Sooner than he would have liked, they arrived at the heavy wooden door to the basement. _Open the door, _he told himself, _Just open the damn door. _His hands wouldn't move. He simply stared at the aging fibers, frozen. Tifa stepped in front of him and placed her hand on the knob. She exchanged with him a glance of understanding and went in first.

With proof that Hojo wasn't standing just out of sight armed with a syringe, Zack ventured in after her, resuming his place as the guide into hell.

"While we're young, Strife," Reno jibed the statue that was Cloud. The blonde soldier silently followed, expression empty.

"If we're going to find this girl, we should split up," Reno said.

"Fine," Zack answered, "You come with me."

"Why?" Reno asked in annoyance.

"Because I don't trust you with anyone else," Zack replied bluntly. Reno didn't protest.

Zack watched Cloud and Tifa disappear in the opposite direction, praying to Gaia he had made the right decision and that Tifa would be able to handle any impending mental breakdowns on Cloud's part. He'd have to accept that he couldn't protect everyone at once. He's have to view it like a mission. Save Aerith, nothing else. But on a mission, he was trained to accept that he would watch his brothers fall. With Cloud as the only soldier left standing with him, he doubted he was strong enough to just let go of the lost anymore. Could the new Zack still do the old Zack's job? And would Aerith love the new Zack like the old one?

"What a selfish question," Zack muttered. Lives were at stake.

"What?" Reno asked.

"I recognize this. We're near the cells. I think Cloud and Tifa are headed toward the tanks. Gaia, I hope we're the ones who find her."

They rounded a corner and the walls became bars with padlocked doors. Behind the bars were nightmares he'd nearly forgotten. A creature that resembled a dragon, but with crooked legs that jutted out at bizarre angles and one blood-shot eye hanging out of its socket. A dog-like creature with scales and claws so overgrown it couldn't stand upright. Worst was a humanoid thing with organs misplaced on the outside of its body. Zack wondered how many years it would have taken before he joined these poor crimes against nature, no longer functional, knowing as he writhed on the cell floor that the only reason his pathetic life was prolonged was to be available as data in future experiments. If he had retained the ability to think, that was. He hoped nothing before him had.

"Give me your gun," Zack ordered Reno.

"What?"

"I know you have one. Standard Turk issue. It has a silencer, right?"

"Yeah… why?"

"They can't be saved. I've been here. I know it's mercy."

Reno solemnly handed it over. Systematically, Zack started down the line of cells.

_C6, C7, C8_

He did his best to aim mechanically at whatever most resembled a head, blocking out what he was really looking at.

_C12, C13, C14_

He was almost there.

_C16. _He tried to quell his dread as he looked into Cell C17, Aerith's cell, and hoped that it would not contain a grotesque mockery of nature like all the others.

"What the hell?"

"That's a bit impolite," replied a dark-haired man in a red cape, "Considering your previous encounters, I'd think I would be an improvement. And I'd prefer not to be shot, by the way."

"Where's Aerith?"

"I'm guessing you're Zack."

"_Where is Aerith?!_"

"Hojo just took her out."

"To _where_?"

"Either outside, or the laboratory."

"Outside?" Zack was puzzled. What Shinra experiment got to go outside?

Zack shot the lock off the door, "Thank you."

Reno moved his attention from the now-dead mutants to Zack, "So should I check the lab and you look out-"

His question was cut off by an all too familiar blood-curdling scream. Cloud.

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><p>I know, I know, I'm a mean and horrible person. But I've already started the next chapter, if that helps. Expect angst and some fluffy things to help make up for the depressing chapters of late.<p>

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><p><strong>RANDOMOSITY!<strong>

I try not to insert my own characters because my brain children are not who you came to read about, but to keep Nibelhiem from being another town of redshirts, Kalaz was created. And yes, you will see her again.

I don't care how the movies portray it, I was just on a helicopter and you can't hear a thing up there! If you have a headset on, you can here other people talking through that, but it you aren't wearing a headset, you either have to scream or use sign language. It's really friggin cool though. Much more fun than flying in a plane.

If you've seen Baccano, go to facebook and add this to the URL. If you haven't, watch it anyway, then go watch Baccano because it's amazing.

?v=10150920045110565

Hopefully it's not blocked when you click. Everywhere else is now :/


	24. Chapter 24

Last chapter felt a bit lacking so I thought, hey, while I'm on a roll, why not put off studying Anatomy another day?

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><p>"Cloud!" Tifa dropped beside him. A moment ago he'd been fine. Well, almost fine. Something wasn't right the moment they walked into the lab, but it wasn't until they reached the table in the middle that he started screaming and fallen to his knees.<p>

"Shhh, Cloud, please they'll hear us," Tifa begged desperately, although she knew they were already doomed. Cloud didn't seem to hear. He clutched his head, eyes squeezed shut.

"You're okay," Tifa pulled him to her with no idea what else to do, "You're okay."

He wasn't moving anymore.

"So the prodigal son returns home"

Tifa held her breath as she turned around, hoping she was wrong. She wasn't. It was Hojo.

"I thank you for bringing him back," Hojo said, "I've missed my favorite project. Although, the ancient is catching up."

He gestured to the wall of tanks behind her. She turned to see an auburn-haired girl floating in mako, eyes closed and motionless as though she were simply sleeping. Tifa stepped forward to stand between Hojo and Cloud.

"You want him? Take him. Go ahead. Try." She dropped into a fighting stance.

"I have a better idea," Hojo pressed a button on the wall behind him and it began to rise. From behind it came hairless dog-like creatures with black horns and snapping jaws. In the center of their foreheads were single white eyes.

Tifa grabbed Cloud's gunblade with one hand, and Cloud himself with the other. Using the superhuman strength of adrenaline, she jumped on top of the table and began firing into her attackers, weaving her aim in all directions around the limp form she supported.

"Ironic place to seek protection," Hojo laughed.

Tifa wished she had time for a shot at the man himself. _3 o'clock. 9 o'clock. 1 o'clock. _Every direction was death. A living weight the size of a man knocked her off her perch, Cloud tumbling with her. She lost both her grip and view of him as she hit the floor among the monsters.

She fired blindly, letting out an animal-like scream of fear and rage. It was fight or flight. She would sink to the level of her attackers to survive.

Teeth penetrated her arm and she stabbed it its general direction. When her perception caught up with her reflexes she found she had stabbed one of the dogs-things through the neck. Its blood ran from her hand down her arm.

"CLOUD!" a familiar voice called.

"ZACK!" Tifa screamed, "ZACK, HELP ME!"

She swung the blade into the face of a dog as it leapt toward her face. It landed beside her with a heavy thud. Another ran at her from her right, but just as it was about to launch toward her, it stiffened, currents of light dancing all around it. It fell in a heap at the feet of its executioner, Reno. Several more fell as the two of them cleared a circle of safety.

"Thanks" Tifa said.

"I told you, it's why I came along. Pretty women shouldn't die young."

She was about to chastise him for his shallowness when she realized he wasn't really talking about her, "No one should die young."

* * *

><p>"Tifa, look out for him"<p>

"I can fight"

"You're hurt"

_This is for your nervous system. In simple terms, once I'm in your head, you can never force me out. It doesn't matter what you think, what you want, or what you believe. You are programmed. When I finished, you would kill your own mother because I told you to."_

"Take Cloud and get as far away from here as possible"

_She's already dead._

"Alright, but be careful"

_You get the idea. You can't truly own a person. They will always find a way to rebel. But a thoughtless object can be possessed. A machine can be commanded. A dog can be trained. And I own you, Cloud._

"Get it out," he muttered.

"Cloud?" Tifa said with relief, "Thank Gaia. I didn't know what happened to you."

He reached his hand up to the back of his head, searching for the metal tube in his skull, sending unknown chemicals to his brain, "Get it out, get it out, get it _out_!"

"Get what out? Cloud, I don't know what you're saying."

Something touched him. Some_one_. It wasn't an action, it was a reflex. He threw the unknown being off of him. He couldn't see much, but he knew they were still close. He grabbed the person by the throat and shoved them into the wall. "WHY WON'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?!"

"Cloud," she choked, "please."

She… she_… Tifa._

Cloud fell backwards, getting as far away from what he'd just done as he could. He could see her now, a fuzzy image, but it was clear that she was holding her throat, breathing heavily between coughs.

"Teef… Teef, I'm so sorry."

"I'm okay," she gasped, "I'm okay."

"I'm sorry," Cloud grabbed his gunblade from beside Tifa and did what he seemed to do best lately: destroy. He had no idea what these creatures where, but they would die.

The first went down easily with a shot through the eye. Another leaped through the air aimed at his head. Cloud rolled backward as it crashed into him with a foot on its stomach, and shot it from the base of its jaw through its head as he kicked the beast up over his own. With from their combined momentum, he landed standing on his victim, ready for the next.

The more he killed, the better he felt. All the frustration and hate building up in him, he unleashed on hell's k9's.

"Damn, Strife, save some for the rest of us," Reno joked when they were near.

"You can take them. There's only one I want to kill." He searched constantly for Hojo, but found him nowhere.

"Dammit," he muttered, "Dammit, dammit, dammit."

A hound dove low for his leg. Cloud stabbed down through the base of its neck and kept walking, "WHERE ARE YOU, YOU SON OF A BITCH?!"

"Cloud, you okay?" Zack asked, glad to see him back on his feet.

"I will be once I find the bastard."

_You want me? You know where to find me. _

He couldn't explain how he knew, but he could find Hojo. He waited until Zack was occupied and ran into the den of a room the beasts had entered from. Back wall, seventh brick up, push in. The square of floor he was standing on dropped into the lowest level of Shinra manor.

* * *

><p>Zack stayed his sword, pleased with a job well done. He realized he missed the feeling of accomplishment.<p>

"Not bad, crew. I think we could-" he dropped off at the site of Aerith, held behind green fluid and glass. With an odd sense of de ja vu, he opened the tank and caught the unconscious flower girl as she fell.

"Aerith?" he said, "Aerith, can you hear me?"

"She's only been in there a few hours at the most," the red-coat man said, "That shouldn't be long enough for the mako to intoxicate her system."

Zack nodded. If he and Cloud survived years, Aerith would make it through a few hours. Sure enough, she stirred.

"Hey," Zack said gleefully as she opened her eyes, "How do you feel?"

"Um… a little dizzy," she said, rubbing her eyes, "could I get some water or something?"

Her eyes didn't glow, her pupils were at normal dilation, and she could speak. She was fine.

"You're cute when you first wake up," he said happily.

"Shut up, Zack," then it registered, "ZACK!"

She threw her arms around him with as much force as a half-awake flower girl could muster, "I was so afraid you were dead."

"Same to you," he replied, holding her tighter, "I couldn't have survived the last few years without you."

"What do you mean?" she said, leaning back in confusion, "It's not like I did anything particularly helpful. I mean, I tried to find you, but ended up kidnapped and put in a Shinra lab. I'm pretty sure I did more harm than good."

"You gave me something worth coming back to."

She blushed a little, then much more when she realized she was crying.

"I'm sorry," she furiously wiped away her tears with her sleeve. Sleeve? Yes sleeve. She was wearing a standard Shinra suit. It was one thing to hear about her joining Shinra, but another to actually see it. He reached out to gently touch one thing that hadn't changed: the pink ribbon in her hair.

"You still have it."

"Of course I do!" she exclaimed indignantly, "What, did you think I was going to do with it, decorate end tables?"

Zack laughed lightly and pulled her close again, "I missed you. I missed you so much."

Aerith replied with a kiss to the side of his neck.

"Umm… not to ruin the happy reunion," Reno cut in, "but do you think we could take this somewhere that's not an operational Shinra laboratory?"

"Alright," Zack grumbled. They had so much to catch up on, but it would have to wait for now. But he could still have a little fun. He stood up, swinging Aerith into a bridal hold, then gently lowered her feet to the concrete. Reno rolled his eyes in disgust which only made the action more gratifying.

"Hey, guys…" Tifa said anxiously, "Where's Cloud?"

Zack froze, "Dammit Cloud, I turn my back for five minutes!"

"He does seem to have a knack for this," Tifa agreed, "Where do you think he went off to. You don't think-"

"Don't say it," Zack cut her off. He would not believe Hojo had him.

* * *

><p>"So you do remember," Hojo said gleefully, "I was afraid you blocked it out."<p>

"I did," Cloud replied, "I can't remember what you did to me, but I know the worst was here. Something you didn't even want your sick employees to know."

"They would have tried to stop me. 'Too much risk to the specimen.' They never did have much imagination. I can't believe you would forget something so important."

"Enlighten me."

Hojo unlocked the top drawer to the lone filing cabinet and pulled out a jar containing what appeared to be a human heart.

"Okay… what about it?" Cloud asked skeptically.

"What about it?" Hojo laughed, "It's yours."

"You're lying," Cloud said immediately.

"Over time, results of experimentation would often fade. It would take many years, but the body would eventually begin to return to its natural state. I solved this problem."

"So what's in me now?" Cloud tried to keep himself calm.

"I cloned cells from a special donor. Jenova."

"What… what the hell is _wrong_ with you?"

"Don't we always come to hate those who steal our hearts?"

"That's a sick joke even for you."

Hojo laughed again, "Oh, Cloud. You always did take things to seriously. You never laughed at any of my jokes. Although, that may have had something to do with my hand being in your chest cavity."

"How does someone like you even exist?"

"Oh, come now, Cloud, don't preach to me. I was watching," he gestured to a screen of video feed from the battle with the mutts, "Half strangle and innocent girl, then go on a murder spree. What a picture of morality you are."

Almost matching his rage was fear. Hojo had a point. The monster inside him was stronger. And now he knew it would never leave him. It was part of him. And it was taking over. When the monster won, he would belong to Shinra. The fear grew as he realized the truth. They would use him to destroy AVALANCHE. He would kill his friends.

"You made me this!" he shouted hysterically, "I could have been something good! You ruined my life!" He could shoot Hojo, but that wouldn't be nearly as satisfying. Cutting out his heart seemed fitting, if he had one. Three steps and suddenly, a shock of electricity shot through his entire body, starting at his chest. His entire body tensed in electric pain, then he collapsed.

"Did you really think I would just sit around and wait for you to come kill me without a backup plan?" Hojo scoffed, "And I put so much pride in you." He rolled up his sleeve to reveal a button imbedded in his forearm. "Remotes usually do, but this seemed too important to risk losing or being caught without."

"I hate you," Cloud breathed, "I hate you."

"What was that?"

"I HATE YOU!"

"You should really work on some new material," he meandered to another exit on the opposite side of the cavern, "I considered keeping you, but I think it will be more fun to watch how long it takes for you to come back on your own."

"Institutions for the criminally insane would be horrified by you," Cloud forced, "I'd die first."

"You don't believe me, but you will. Because deep down, you know, I'm the only one who can keep you from destroying yourself along with everything around you. I'm the only one who can contain you, who can fix you."

Again, he walked away from death and destruction without a scratch.

_So what now?_ Cloud though miserably. Did he dare go back to AVALANCHE? He only wished Zack or Tifa had the zap-of-death button on their wrist instead. Whether he'd leave or not he would have to decide later. If he disappeared here, it would keep them looking for him in this dangerous place.

Of one thing he was certain. He wasn't human. Maybe he had been once, but not anymore. He was a number. A project. He was a danger to humans. He shouldn't live around them. But why? Why shouldn't he be near them? Because he could hurt them. But why did he care that he could hurt them? Can monsters care? He didn't want to hurt them because he loved them. Could monsters love?

* * *

><p>"Hey, sorry about that," Cloud jogged into the main lab, immediately receiving a punch in the face by Zack.<p>

"Where the hell were you?"

"I went after Hojo, but he got away," Cloud said, checking to see if his lip was bleeding. It was. He then wondered what the point of checking was since he didn't care either way.

"Well, anyway, this is Vincent," he gestured to the man in the red cape. Cloud waved haphazardly, "And this lovely maiden is Aerith."

"Still a lady's man, I see," Cloud commented, then extended his hand to Aerith, "Cloud Strife. Nice to finally meet you after six or so years of hearing about your greatness."

"Same," Aerith said smiling. Cloud could see why Zack liked her so much. Something about the spark in her eyes just fit friendly, lively Zack.

"He can be a real pain in the ass," Zack said to Aerith, "But if we ever get married, he will be my best man."

"Better get on it then," Cloud muttered.

Zack's smile faded.

"You should tell her since everyone else knows."

"_Else ware_, people," Reno urged everyone toward the exit, "Seriously, do you all _want_ to die?"

Zack took Aeriths hand and they walked together out of their prison. The moment they were out of Shinra's reach, they could finally begin to make up the last six years they had spent apart. They stepped out of the dark basement into the sunlight.

"I love you," Zack said.

"I love you, too," Aerith smiled and squeezed his hand. For the first time in years, Zack thought that maybe he could be whole again.

* * *

><p>I'd write more Zerith now, but I <em>really <em>need to go to bed. I promise Zack and Aerith will have an emotional heart to heart as soon as they aren't facing immediate death.


	25. Chapter 25

A message to all of my lovely readers: if you're writing something you'd like to share, let me know. After all the reviews I've gotten, I'd be glad to reciprocate. Also, I'm open to any suggestions if there's something you would like to come up in my story.

Cloud: "You're a terrible person."

Leah: "I'm sorry!"

Cloud: "Haven't you hurt me enough already, woman?!"

Leah: "It was for the plot!"

Zack: *runs in and stabs Leah repeatedly*

Leah: "If you weren't a figment of my imagination, this would be seriously problematic. I'll throw in some fluff to make you feel better."

Zack: *glops Cloud protectively* "You'd better"

Cloud: "GERRROFFME!"

FLUFFINESS SHALL ENSUE! (okay, and some angstiness, but no more disasters)

* * *

><p>Reno was going to explode. One more dewy-eyed exchange or proclamation of eternal caring, and he would throw both of the love birds out the side of the helicopter the moment they were in the air again.<p>

"Let's move it, Romeo," Reno shouted at Zack who was still locked in conversation with his long-lost-love, "Break time's over. We need to put at least another fifty miles between us and Shinra before we stop for the night."

"You can't give us another ten minutes? How much of an advantage do you think we're going to gain in that time?" Zack retorted.

"Not us, me. Once we're in the air, I won't be able to hear you," Reno shot back, "And aren't you normally Mr. Survivalist?"

"Come on, Reno, just ten minutes to look around," he begged.

"Fine!" he leaned back in the seat, "As long as you're gone, at least it will be quiet."

He sighed with relief when Zack and Aerith disappeared into the trees. The last thing he wanted to think about was romance. Now there was nothing but the immutable silence of Vincent sitting beside him, stoically looking out the window, and the awkward silence between Cloud and Tifa emanating from the back seat. They had been this way since the manor. Reno couldn't imagine why, seeing as Tifa had kicked serious ass to save Cloud's, but now they refused to look at each other.

"You two didn't die back there, did you?" Reno asked. No response. Maybe getting rid of Zack and Aerith wasn't such a good idea after all.

* * *

><p>"So what's the weirdest dream you've ever had?" Zack asked Aerith curiously.<p>

"Well…" her eyebrows furrowed in concentration, "I had one about trees trying to overthrow the human race."

"Seriously? How?"

"For some reason, I was with a bunch of other people in the woods and the trees just started impaling people. I was the only one who escaped," she said, "and then my mom was there telling me that the trees would mark the end of mankind."

"How did it end?"

"I was about to be killed when I realized that it was a dream and I could just blow them all up with my mind."

"Awesome."

"You?" she reciprocated.

"I don't know…" Zack said, suddenly nervous.

"Oh, come on," she complained, "I told you mine."

"Yes, but in comparison, yours wasn't that weird."

"Just tell me."

"Okay, fine. There were these strippers-"

"Are you serious?"

"Hey, you asked! Anyway, I was with some of my buddies from SOLDIER, but we weren't in a club, we were in an anthropology museum and they were dancing on top of a van. I don't know why a van, but a van. The ceiling was glass and half the museum was day and the other was night, but the day side kept growing. When the day side got to the van, the dancers turned into cats and people started giving them tuna instead of money. Then, you know how tile floors are two colors a lot of the time? I would only step on the green ones because… well, that's what I did in real life too, but here, everywhere I stepped, these purple and orange plants would start growing."

"Plants," Aerith repeated blankly.

"At first it didn't seem like a big deal, but then they grew teeth and started eating people and cat-lady dancers. For some reason I had a gun instead of a sword. We kept shooting them, but they just wouldn't die. Then Cloud got mad at me because I kept stepping and making more plants grow. I told him that if I stayed still they would eat me, but he said it was a price they were willing to pay. He was a total ass in this dream, by the way. I think I was mad at him for forcing me to actually do my paperwork that day."

"How terrible"

"Suddenly, you appeared as a hologram with pig-tails and started to sing to calm them down and they stopped eating people for a while, but then the power went out. When there were only a few people left, Angeal grappled down from the ceiling and started yelling at us that we were all idiots for not knowing that you have to feed them their weakness, peanut butter sandwiches, to slow them down then shoot the stem in half or else they would just regenerate. Then Tseng called down an aerial strike to kill the evil plants, but a tornado hit and he crashed ended up blowing up the whole museum instead. I think I died, and then I woke up."

When he had finished he watched Aerith for a response. At first she said nothing, but her shoulders began to shake. She shook more and more until it erupted into hysterical laughter, "But you" she broke off to laugh again, "But you defeated the cannibal flowers, right? So it was all worthwhile."

"It was a noble death," Zack said, laughing a little himself.

"I still marvel at how your mind works."

"It's a mystery to us all."

"So," Aerith said, "Is there anything else on your mind you would like to talk about?"

"Like what?" Zack feigned ignorance.

"Like the years you disappeared from the face of the earth."

Zack was silent.

"Zack?"

"We should probably head back before Reno takes off without us."

When they returned, Zack jumped into the helicopter and opened the bag of m&m's he had picked up during their last stop.

"One left," he turned to Cloud, "Fight to the fake-death for it?"

"You're on," it was the first time Cloud had spoken since they left. It seemed Zack's elation was beginning to rub off on his companions. Before Reno could protest, they both jumped back on the ground, weapons drawn.

"Bring it, Chocobo," Zack dared. They both sprung forward, metal connecting again and again with each lightning blow that would be far beyond the reaction time of a normal human.

"Zack, be careful!" Aerith called.

"What?"

Cloud took full advantage of the distraction. He swept Zack's right left out from under him with his own and hooked the edge of his blade under the back edge of the buster sword, tearing it from Zack's grip.

"I'm sorry," Aerith said, her hand over her mouth in embarrassment.

"Game over," Cloud said, pointing the tip of the blade at his fallen friend's chest.

"Not bad, Spiky," Zack kicked Cloud's armed hand, raising it up to shoulder height. With no weapon, he utilized his last strategy: tackle.

They tumbled over a log and into a bush.

"Dammit, Zack!"

"OWNED!"

They rolled out of the bush back into grass with Cloud ending up on top. He stood up and announced, "Truce. I have to find my gun."

"Then I get the m&m"

"Fine, take it."

"Which means I win."

"Zack-"

"VICTORY IS MINE!"

"Did you have pure caffeine for breakfast?"

"And it's a blue one. Don't think I haven't noticed that you pick around them and save them for last."

"Seriously, what did you-?"

"We should do something fun," Zack brushed himself off.

"Like what?" Cloud asked skeptically, "Fugitives don't generally get to have 'fun'."

"I don't know… something."

"Something," Reno repeated in exasperation, "That's fantastic. Now can we please leave?"

"Just one more thing," Cloud said, "I need to talk to you all about something."

Reno slapped the dashboard in frustration, "I hate all of you. I'm going to crash this thing into the side of a mountain, killing myself just so I can have the great satisfaction of taking the rest of you with me."

"This is actually relevant," Cloud said, producing a stack of letters, "I took these from Hojo's office."

"Nice," Zack complimented.

"I've read through all of them, and they're basically just asking for the same thing, but in increasingly urgent ways. They start off like this, 'Dr. Hojo, we would be honored if you could spare some time to visit our humble laboratory in the Wutai outposts.' And eventually turn into this, 'You have to help us. You said the greatest feature of any weapon was its ability to be controlled. We were only following what you said! It was your leadership that brought us to this disaster! You have to help us!'"

"They must have really screwed up to beg Hojo of all people for help," Zack commented.

"We don't know much about Wutai, but it seems worth checking out," Cloud said.

"Wutai it is," Zack announced cheerfully, then turned to Reno, "Take us away, oh, captain, my captain."

"Burn everything to the ground," Reno mutter, "I'll just set everything ablaze and watch them all die."

Zack laughed, "I have mastered the art of pissing you off, haven't I?"

"There is none better," he muttered as he prepared for lift off.

* * *

><p>"Be honest with me, sir," Elena asked, "What chance do we have?"<p>

"A slim one," Tseng admitted, "Hojo has connection in every crevasse of Shinra, and Sephiroth… I don't believe words are required."

"I there anything I can do, sir?"

"Hojo returned a few hours ago. Apparently our runaways managed to rescue Aerith from Nibelhiem," Tseng informed her with as close to a grin as ever crossed his face, "Keep an eye on him for me."

"Yes, sir"

"And, Elena," he added, "Have you heard the news? About Cissnei?"

"No, sir," Elena said tensely, "Is she…?"

"Her body was found outside the President's office. It wasn't released to the press since it would point to a third party as the culprit rather than AVALANCHE, seeing as she was killed with the same weapon as Rufus. Once the records of her autopsy are destroyed, I suspect they will list her as Rufus's killer and credit Sephiroth with stopping the President's murderer. "

"And who do you think killed him, sir?"

Tseng paused a moment, "I have my suspicions. But that is not something I will voice here."

Elena nodded, "And Cissnei, sir? She doesn't have any family, so…"

"I requested to have her buried here. We will be holding a funeral this Friday."

"I see," Elena said, "Thank you, sir."

She stepped outside before letting silent tears slide down her face. Time to find Hojo.

* * *

><p>"<em>I know where we're going to have fun!" Zack shouted over the rotor blades, "I was in this area while in SOLDIER. There's a theme park we'll pass right over."<em>

"_Aren't we a little old for that?" Cloud shouted back._

"_Come on, just a little fun!"_

"_No"_

Everyone had said no, but Zack had heard yes, and Tifa now found herself standing before the entrance to a rust-infested, regulation inspector's nightmare of a theme park.

"Damn the puppy eyes," Cloud muttered.

"What do you want to go on first?" Tifa asked the group. Reno had taken off to a nearby bar, so it was only Zack, Aerith, Cloud and herself.

"That!" Zack pointed to the ride.

"Of course" Tifa muttered. Leave it to Zack to immediately pick out the biggest, most terrifying, gravity defying, mortal-peril-inducing deathtrap in the entire park.

"No," Aerith replied immediately.

"Why not?" Zack said disappointed.

"Because I shaved three years off my life expectancy just looking at it"

"It's safe" Zack stood on his toes to get a better look at the early-grave-digging coaster. "Those people made it off."

Tifa was going to side with Aerith when another thought interrupted her attempt to conjure a witty way to call Zack crazy. There had been so many times she had wanted to scream lately. She wanted to let out all of the fear, grief and frustration she had felt these past few weeks. What better place to get the release of screaming her lungs out than a death-defying roller coaster?

"I'm in," Tifa stepped forward, "Cloud, are you coming?"

Cloud looked pale, but nodded. Tifa and Zack waited for Aerith to cave.

"Alright, alright" she crossed her arms. "But if I die, I'm haunting you"

Then they reached the line.

"I'm going back" Aerith was white.

"You'll be fine," Zack told her as they were strapped into the rickety coaster. He flinched slightly when she dug her nails even farther into his arm.

"We're going to die."

"We'll be fine"

Tifa breathed in deeply as the ride began to move, clicking up the slope.

"I changed my mind" Aerith said in terror.

"Too late" Zack grinned.

"How did you get me on this thing?"

"The power of persuasion. And good looks"

"I'm going to kill you," Aerith said matter-of-factly.

Tifa took a deep breath as the car paused at the crest, just before the 90 degree drop. Then, the coaster plummeted toward the earth. Tifa couldn't breathe, yet somehow she was screaming. In her ears, there was only the rush of wind. The ride twisted, turned and looped, then flew back into the air. They fell again, then back up. Tifa lost track of how many times they had fallen. By the time the ride was over, Zack had seemingly permanent indentations in his arm from Aerith's nails. He was laughing hysterically and Tifa soon realized she was too. They had both needed this.

"That was fun," Zack was still laughing.

"I'm going to kill you," Aerith muttered, still not releasing her death grip on his arm.

"You still love me," Zack chided as they stepped out. Aerith ignored him.

"Then I'll kill myself so I can follow you to the life stream and kill you again," Zack laughed harder and was about to reply when he was interrupted by Tifa's alert to their current situation. He turned around to see Cloud doubled over the nearest trashcan.

"You okay?" Zack had barely asked the question when Cloud threw up. A few days ago, Tifa would have attempted some form of comfort, but now she found herself at a loss of what to do.

"I'm fine," Cloud stood up slowly.

"Sorry, buddy," Zack's face was ridden with guilt, "I don't know why I asked you to go on that. I should have known it would make you sick. I wasn't thinking."

"It's just motion sickness, Zack," Cloud reassured him, "I'll be fine"

"If it makes you feel better," Tifa chimed in, "I had fun"

"Thanks, Teef," he thought for a moment, "Cloud, why don't we go get a coke or something?" Cloud nodded gratefully.

"You two can go on something less… rigorous," He continued. Tifa wasn't even going to try to convince Zack to let her go with Cloud instead. Zack's overprotectiveness would never allow it.

"We'll meet you back here in about ten minute, okay?" Aerith called after them. Zack gave a thumbs up before disappearing into the crowd.

* * *

><p>"Where are they?" Tifa was asking herself more than Aerith.<p>

"You could call one of them," Aerith replied, "Or text him since it would be hard to hear in the park." Tifa nodded. She had forgotten that they had phones now. With their frequent separations, they finally decided that it was worth the risk of being tracked and purchased a set in the previous town. She texted the question to Cloud, then returned her attention to her newest acquaintance.

"So how did you and Zack meet?"

"He fell through my roof"

"That sounds like him"

"He was always accident prone," she said with a nostalgic smile, "Hey, Tifa, can I ask you something?"

"Sure"

"Is he usually this upbeat? Or is it a recent development?"

"He was always a comedian," Tifa answered, "but he'd been kind of down lately until you showed up. Thing haven't exactly been going our way lately."

"I hear you," Aerith concurred, "Do you know much about what happened to them? I know I should ask him, but…"

"But it's almost impossible to pry about something so awful," Tifa finished.

"Exactly. I know that they were prisoners and used in those horrible experiments, but not much else."

"When I first met him, he stumbled in the door of the bar I was working in at four in the morning, full of bullet wounds and carrying Cloud. They were both a mess."

Aerith listened solemnly, "I see."

"Apparently, Zack had escaped a few months earlier and carried Cloud with him running from Shinra. Cloud had mako poisoning, so he was completely comatose. Zack had to pull them through it alone."

Aerith nodded, "Have things been any better for him since then?"

"It depends how you define better," Tifa replied, "Sine he's been with us, he's been shot, cut, and crushed by a falling city. Not exactly vacation."

"He doesn't seem to want to talk about any of it. He's acting like nothing happened since the last time we saw each other," she sighed, "So what about you and Cloud?"

"Oh, well," Tifa was flustered, "We're not a couple, but we grew up together." Her phone vibrated, "Speaking of whom."

"Chocobos are sexy," Aerith read over her shoulder. Before Tifa had any idea what to make of the statement, the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"That was Zack"

"Shocking. Can I ask why?"

Cloud's voice came rapidly through the phone, "He had my phone and said you sent me a message. I told him he could answer as long as he didn't say something stupid. So, of course, he did."

"Of course," Tifa agreed, "So where are you?"

"We're headed back now. Sorry it took so long. Zack wouldn't shut up about Aerith and the greatness of carbonated drinks."

"Carbonated drinks?"

"Apparently they're 'the pop-rocks of the liquid world, bringing love and hope to the downtrodden with fizzy amiability.'"

"Oh…"

"And now you see how my last 20 minutes have gone."

She faintly heard "Do not insult the Carbon Lords!" in the background, then Cloud's voice returned.

"We'll be right there."

When the male half of their crew arrived, Zack promptly swept Aerith off to the games, leaving Cloud and Tifa alone to find something to do with themselves.

"I guess now is as good a time as any," Tifa said, "We're going to have to talk about it eventually."

Cloud said nothing.

"I don't know what happened in Nibelheim, but I don't blame you for it. I'm not angry, and I'm not afraid of you. So can you stop cold-shouldering me?"

Cloud finally answered, "I'm not safe, Tifa. I did that to Zack once, too. I shouldn't be around you."

"Dilly-dally, shilly-shally!"

"Alright… what does that mean?"

"It means bull, and I don't care!"

"Tifa, please, you could get-"

"Don't you dare say 'I could get hurt'!" she cut in, "You're afraid. So what? Which of us isn't afraid? You have a problem. We'll just have to work through it."

"You can't fix this, Teef."

"Dilly-dally, shilly-shally!"

"You are the only human being on earth I have ever heard use that phrase."

"Please, Cloud," she said more seriously, "You finally seemed to be getting better. Don't pull away again just because of one mistake."

"I'll try," he half-heartedly agreed, "But only if you understand that for me, there is no 'getting better'. I'm like this for life."

"We'll see."

Cloud said nothing. Tifa's determined glare softened, "I know Zack has been jumping around like an ADHD chihuahua on Redbull since we found Aerith, but he did have a point. We should have some every once in a while."

"Okay," Cloud said, but did nothing.

"I know you're not much for rides, so… do you just want to walk around and see what we find?"

"Sure"

It wasn't much of an endorsement, but he didn't object either. It was progress.

* * *

><p>"Cheating bastard!"<p>

"Zack, it's only a game."

"I knocked down all the glasses. That's what you're supposed to do to get the biggest prize, right? But nooooooo. He thinks I must have cheated just because I'm better at it than him."

"Alright, so he was just indulging his inferiority complex," Aerith said, "Pat yourself on the back for being too awesome and let it go."

"So you think I'm awesome, do you?"

Aerith rolled her eyes, "You are such a flirt! But yes, I do."

"Highlight of my day! So where do you want to go next?"

"Zack, I was thinking-"

"That will work," he said, eyeing a game of shooting targets with an airsoft gun. After paying the man, he took aim and bulls-eyed every single one in rapid succession. The man handed over the huge plush wolf, eyes wide in astonishment.

"Military?" he inquired when he had regained his speech.

"SOLDIER," Zack said.

"You guys are as good as they say."

"Thanks," Zack turned to Aerith with the wolf, "For you, my lady."

Aerith grinned, "Thank you."

"Sorry about rushing over here, I just really like these kinds of games."

"You mean you like showing off in them," Aerith corrected, "Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something."

"Hit me," Zack said.

"Let's go sit down first," they found a bench that was away from the noise and potential listeners. She took a deep breath and began.

"If we expect this to be like our idealized versions of the years we spent together, this isn't going to work."

Zack was taken aback by her abrupt statement, "Did I do something wrong?"

"No! No, I just… we can't pretend nothing happened."

"I'm not pretending, I just don't want to dwell on it when we can finally enjoy being together again."

"But our lives now aren't fun. For the most part, this isn't what being together is going to be like anymore. It's not going to be building flower carts and going shopping. It's going to be running from Shinra and facing death. I can't take you back to the life we had before. But I will try my best to help you through the one you have now. I want to be a part of your real life, no matter how hard it may be. Let me get to know who you are now, not just pretend to be who you were."

Zack sighed, "You're right. I've changed Aerith. At lot more than I like to admit. When I'm with you, I can feel like myself again. And… I'm not sure you'll like who I've become."

"Zack, I'm in a Shinra uniform. I'm not opposed to change."

"But I," Zack breathed in to steady himself before he confessed, "I'm damaged, Aerith. I'm sick, I'm bitter, I'm jaded, and I'm damaged."

"You went through a lot, Zack," Aerith said gently, "Anyone would be hurt."

"But it's more than that. I have panic attacks sometimes when I think about the labs. When something really bad happens, I sometimes get dizzy and I can't use my hands," he hung his head lower, "When I was in the lab, I gave up on escaping. Everyday, I would think of ways to get to Cloud and kill him, then myself because I thought it was the only way we could get away. Even after we were out, there were moment when I thought of how much easier it would be to just kill us both so they could never get to us than keep running the rest of our live. I'm not the Zack you knew. And I don't know if you can still love the Zack you found."

"Zack…" Aerith got off the bench and knelt in front of him, "I love _you_. Not some picture of who you think you should be. _You_. You don't always have to be strong, you know? Whatever you're going through, I'll face it with you. I won't run away just because you've had a hard few years."

"So… you still love fucked up Zack?"

"Yes, I love fucked up Zack."

He jumped off the bench to hug her, holding her tight against his chest. He breathed into her hair, "Thank you."

When after nearly a minute, he finally released her. She traced the X shaped scar on his cheek with her finger, then brushed a piece of his hair back from his face, "Have you seen those eyes? How could anyone not love those eye? The whole world is a sucker for them."

Zack grinned, "At least there's one thing I did right. I picked you."

"Actually, I think gravity picked me," she laughed.

"Nonsense," Zack teased, "After much deliberation, I carefully selected your roof to fall through."

"However you got there, I'm glad you did," she leaned forward and kissed him, not her usual peck on the cheek, but full on the lips. When she realized what she was doing she pulled back blushing, "Um… sorry, I-"

Zack returned a kiss, then stood, lending her a hand as well, "We should probably find Reno before he drinks himself under the table."

Aerith nodded in agreement, "And maybe grab a drink ourselves. Gaia knows we've earned them."

* * *

><p>There! I wrote something not totally depressing! Yay for no Hojo! Trying to think like that man makes me physically ill.<p>

So next chapter do you guys want some more fluffiness or to get back to the plot?

Btw, my profile picture is actually me now, so if anyone's curious who they've been following all this time, I have proof that there really are girls on the internet.

I know I just used the F-bomb in a rated T fic, but "messed up" just didn't have the same punch. I personally believe curse words are to be used sparingly, but there are times when they are necessary. If anyone is uncomfortable with it, just let me know in a review or PM.

Other BTW, the dreams were based off of actual dreams my friends have told me they had. Zack's was even toned down a bit. I completely left out the Japanese-techno-space-man and the penis flowers. No, I'm not making that up. I just know weird people.


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